Coach Beardenbeard grinned from ear to ear. “Y’all might be aware of this already, but there are entire rooms in this here mansion that are dungeons! Approved by the League and everything. I’m gonna divide you into teams of two. I need to see how you work together.” Coach Beardenbeard stroked his mustache as he thought. “Let’s see. Rosemary and Dayaka, you’re gonna take the garden out back. It’s not too overgrown. You should be able to handle it.”
“Coach, I’m not much of a gardener,” Rosemary said.
“Doesn’t take much expertise to pull weeds. Just watch for those overgrown flytraps,” Beardenbeard said. He looked to Dayaka but the huge orc didn’t have any objections.
Beardenbeard continued. “Beacon and Thurnal, I’d like to see you take on the bathroom. I’d be careful about what’s in the pipes, but it’s still daylight out so it’s probably still asleep.”
The ranger and the cleric looked at each other.
“Ain’t nothin we can’t take on,” Beacon said.
“We’ll get it done, Coach,” Thurnal said.
“That’s what I like to hear. Key and Nirlid, you’ll take on the bedrooms. Dust, change the sheets, you know the drill,” the exuberant dwarf said. “And there may or may not be monsters in the closet. Or under the bed. But they’ll be no big deal.”
“You got it, Coach!” Key said.
Nirlid only grunted.
“And lastly, I’m sending Berik and Euclid to go deep…into the pantry.”
Coach said the word “pantry” like he was saying “haunted castle of absolute evil.” Berik peeked into the kitchen and saw a door standing at the back. It didn’t look evil. Just a little cobwebby.
“Is there something I ought to know before I go in there?” Berik asked.
Beardenbeard shrugged. “It’s got a little bit of a rat problem.”
“Oh! I used to stomp rats all the time back at the guardhouse,” Berik said. “I’m a pro!”
“That’s what I like to hear!” Coach Beardenbeard smirked and pulled out a bundle from a cabinet. “First, you have to suit up. You were the last to get here, so you’re the last to get your gear. Put it on! See if it fits.”
Berik undid the bundle to reveal a set of iron armor. Breastplate, greaves, gorget, armguards, gauntlets. Even a helmet stared back at him. “This looks way better than the gear they gave us back in the town guard!”
“This is why Lord Monrovedere let his entire staff go. So he could afford to equip his party with the good stuff,” Beardenbeard said.
Berik was able to put on the armor with a little help from the coach.
It fit! It fit perfectly, in fact. With the town guard, you had to expect your gear to fit a bit…well, a bit like crap. It was passed on from one generation to the next. Sometimes you found bloodstains on your belt. Or received a dented helmet. Sometimes the breastplate you were given smelled like vomit, no matter how hard you scrubbed the inside. But this? The armor was brand new. It had that new armor smell to it.
“You look as happy as a kid on Winterwatch morning!” Coach Beardenbeard said.
“I am! This is amazing! Lord Monrovedere had this made for me?” Berik asked.
“Yessir. Completely bespoke,” Beardenbeard said.
“Wait. When did he get my measurements?” Berik asked, a little alarmed. Did the nobleman measure Berik’s inseam when he was passed out?
“Remember the character sheet? That’s how,” the dwarf said.
“Oh, okay!” Berik tried hard not to sound so relieved.
“And if you like your armor, you’re really gonna love this.” Coach Beardenbeard pulled out a long object wrapped in burlap. “Go on. It’s yours.”
With great reverence, Berik took the package. Laying it on a bare counter, he carefully undid the rope that held the burlap in place and gasped at the gleaming blade he saw. A new sword! A brand new sword! And not just some run-of-the-mill shortsword either. It was a proper broadsword, one that shone with how keen its edge was.
Tucked away in a fold was a shield. Bigger than what they used in the guard, and it wasn’t just wood attached to a handle. There was a thick metal sheet over the outer layer and it was emblazoned with a ferocious red dragon.
“This is all mine?” Berik asked. He just couldn’t believe it. Just a day ago, he was worried about finding a job and paying rent. And now he had everything he ever wanted.
“As long as you’re in the Dawnport Dragons,” Coach Beardenbeard said. “Now, go on with all of you.”
Berik walked out of the dining room and toward the dark cobweb-covered door, feeling like he was finally, finally doing what he was meant to be doing his whole life. He was an adventurer. He was a [Fighter]. And nothing could stop him now.
“Ope, give me just a second!” Coach Beardenbeard called out behind them. He pulled out another scroll from his pocket. “I’m not going in there with you, but I’ll still need to observe how you do. And give you pointers along the way. That’s what coaches do, you know.”
He opened the scroll, said a magical word that didn’t register with Berik, and suddenly a faintly glowing blue orb appeared. About the size of a pumpkin, it hovered three feet from the floor.
“What is that?” Berik asked.
“An Arcane Eye!” Coach Beardenbeard said. “It will allow me to observe you. And your performance.”
“Is this how the adventures are broadcast to the taverns and clubs?” Berik asked.
“You got it! Now get on with you. You too, Euclid.” Coach Beardenbeard all but pushed them toward the dungeon.
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Inside of the pantry was huge. “Huge” was actually an understatement. It was about as large as an average warehouse found along the docks. Berik knew this mansion was enormous, but there was no way the house could possibly contain this space.
Worse yet, the storage room was only lit with a few meager lamps that served to cast more shadows than illuminate the room. Tall shelves lined the walls and stood in the middle of the floor, creating a maze of organized baking ingredients. Though the kitchen outside had been completely bare of food, the shelves here were stocked with bags of flour, sacks of sugar, jars of cornstarch, and bottles of extract. It was like a goth baker’s dream.
The blue orb floated in front of them. “You’re doing good! Why don’t the two of you pull up your character sheets?” Coach Beardenbeard’s voice asked them.
Berik made the hand motion that would summon the scroll that contained his character sheet. He saw Euclid did the same thing.
“Good! Now, you know how to look at your stats and all that, but did you know you can also keep track of your quests here too?” the disembodied voice of Coach Beardenbeard explained. “If you want to see what quests you have, just swipe your finger to the left. That changes the scroll from your core stats to your quest log.”
Berik ran his finger to the left, and, sure enough, the information on the scroll changed from his basic stats to an organized list.
I Smell a Rat
Kill all the rats in the pantry.
* 0/50 rats slain
* 0/1 Rat King slain
“Wait, what’s a Rat King?” Berik asked.
Coach Beardenbeard laughed. “You’ll find out soon enough!”
The glowing orb went silent. Berik sighed and took a lantern down from the wall to light their way. Together, they walked into the labyrinth of storage shelves. Berik kept close to the ground, looking for tiny little bits of rodent waste. Left, right, then left again, they slowly checked every box and package they came across.
“Do you see anything?” Berik asked. “It doesn’t have to be droppings. Maybe there’s a corner chewed off a sack or something.”
“I have not seen anything of the sort,” Euclid said.
They heard a squeak from down the corridor of shelves. A rat stood in the middle of the floor, staring at them with its beady little eyes.
“Weird. Rats usually try to stay hidden,” Berik said.
“Perhaps the rules have changed due to the dungeon’s influence,” Euclid said.
“Yeah, maybe. Well, at least this will be easy.” Berik walked up to the rat with his sword at the ready. The rat still didn’t run away. Almost feeling sorry for the little vermin, he took a swing back, but just before his blade sliced through the tiny rodent, its eyes flashed red. It bared its yellow fangs…and leaped for Berik’s throat!
He cried out, trying to pull the creature off of him. Luckily, it was easy enough to tear off and slam to the floor.
“Are you hurt?” Euclid asked.
Berik felt his neck and looked at his hand. “Nah. It only clawed me a little.”
A great cry made up of dozens of little furious rodent voices sounded from deeper inside the maze. Suddenly, the darkness became a living thing as the shadows became a massive rat swarm heading right for the two adventurers. Without hesitation, Berik swung his sword at the furry flood but soon found that just crushing them with his shield was far more effective.
Beside him, Euclid fired violet rays of energy from his fingers, frying the rats instantly. They made their way down the corridor, slaying rats all the way until they suddenly retreated, all as one.
“Heh. I think we scared them off,” Berik said. They continued onward until they cleared the corridor and entered a large clearing. Suddenly, they heard a roar and a massive hairy shape, as large as a draft horse, stood on its hind legs and hissed. Dozens of the surviving rats ran at them, teeth bared for the fight.
They had found the Rat King. It sent out his loyal subjects to attack the two adventurers, to devour them completely and leave nothing behind.. And even though he would normally consider himself brave, Berik could only stare at the horrible sight in front of him. It was the size of a horse! It hissed and bared its long, yellow incisors at him.
“Mr. Bauer,” Euclid said, snapping Berik back to reality. How was he so calm? “Exterminate the smaller rats. I will focus on the large one.”
The young man shook his head. “Rat stomping? Now that’s something I can do. Been doing it since Day One at the Watch.”
Euclid didn’t seem impressed. He held out his hand and moved closer to the gargantuan rat. The horrible giga-rodent’s eyes glowed a fierce red and the smaller, normal-sized rats moved as one, surging toward Euclid.
“Mr. Bauer!” Euclid prompted. “In your own time!”
Berik dashed towards the flood of vermin. Swords wouldn’t work here, not against all of the rodents. His brand new boots would have to do the damage here. He brought his feet down as quickly as he could, he couldn’t help but notice how the rodents’ eyes glowed just like the Rat King’s. But his curiosity was brought to a halt when three rats crawled up his leg and squeezed beneath his chestplate.
His stomping soon turned to him trying to smash the filthy rats underneath his armor. He could feel them under there, all sharp little claws and diseased mouths just looking for something soft to bite. He fell to the floor and began to roll, hoping to squash the disgusting invaders.
As Berik rolled on the floor, he saw Euclid close his eyes and disappear in a puff of smoke. He immediately reappeared on the titanic rat’s head. Somehow, he managed to stay on when the massive creature thrashed and swung his huge, long head back and forth. He held his hands against the rat’s furry cranium and sent pulse after pulse of sickening violet energy directly into his brain. The smell of scorched hair and flesh filled the pantry.
The [Fighter] felt a series of squishing under his armor and jumped to his feet. Yup. They had been squished good. He resumed his stomping and slashed about himself, splitting a dozen rats with one swing. But there were too many! He slammed his shield down at an awkward, but somehow effective, angle and took out entire ranks of rats.
Then the retinue of rats turned tail and returned to the gargantuan rat boss. They climbed up their struggling sire’s body, headed in a direct beeline to Euclid. The [Mage] gave the monstrosity one blinding brain pulse. The Rat King spasmed and stopped trying to throw him off. Before the rat swarm could reach the tall man, they all shuddered in unison. Each and every rodent stood stock still, facing their sire but not hurrying to assist him. It was as if they were all frozen solid.
“I cannot hold on forever,” Euclid said through gritted teeth. “Hurry!”
Berik finally snapped back to himself. Now was the moment to strike! He dashed to the Rat King, ran up his grotesque belly, and slashed with his sword right across his throat. Blood sprayed from the slice like water from a burst pipe. It soaked Berik, and when he went to wipe his eyes, he saw the smaller, normal-sized rats quiver and fall over, smoke coming from their ears. With a resounding thud, the grotesque Rat King slumped over in a puddle of his own blood. Victory!
Berik should have been feeling on top of the world. He had just completed his first quest! But his fear lingered. What the hell had the [Mage] done? Euclid crawled off the rodent’s corpse and shook his head like he was trying to clear it. The smell of singed fur still hung in the air.
Euclid wiped away some of the blood on his face. “You are showing signs of distress. But you do not need to be afraid. The Rat King was controlling the minds of the swarm. I seized that control and kept them from burrowing into your guts. And here we stand, victorious,” Euclid said.
“You…mind-controlled them,” Berik stated.
Euclid’s emotionless face remained calm. “Yes. But you and I are on the same side. I would have it stay that way.”
“Or else what?” Berik asked.
“You misunderstand. I am not threatening you. I am telling you what the situation is,” Euclid said.
Berik froze. Euclid hadn’t said the last sentence out loud. No, he had said it directly into Berik’s mind. The [Fighter] was horrified. All spells have to be approved by the Dungeon League Commission, right? Is this allowed? He braced, but he nodded, still not letting his guard down.
Euclid wiped the last of the blood away. “Then we should return to the coach. I am sure he has much to say. With any luck, the others will have returned from their own quests.”
“Yeah, I hope so.” Berik turned to glance once more at the fallen Rat King. And as they turned to leave the pantry, he couldn’t help but wonder if the real monster had been slain.