Before the day’s practice, Coach Beardenbeard made sure to stop by the local bakery, Sweet Morning, to pick up a dozen of their finest donuts as well as a carafe of some dark roasted coffee. But instead of taking the main entrance in the mansion, he went through the servants’ entrance and hustled his way up to Lord Monrovedere’s office.
Of course it had to be on the second story. But that was fine with the eager-to-please dwarf. Taking the stairs was good for his legs. He knocked once before stepping through to a surprised nobleman. He sat behind a tall stack of papers as well as a copy of the day’s newspaper. The headline read: DAWNPORT? IN MY DUNGEON?
“Good morning. What’s all this, then?” the nobleman asked.
“Oh, just some coffee and donuts for the adventurers. They’ve been bustin their butts pretty hard so I figured a reward was in order,” Coach Beardenbeard said.
“Is that the healthiest option?” Monrovedere asked.
“The coffee?” Beardenbeard looked at the carafe. “Absolutely, provided you don’t put a bunch of sweeteners or cream in it. The donuts? Oh, totally not. It’s all sugar and lard. But sometimes a sweet treat is a powerful motivational tool.”
The nobleman sipped his cup of tea. “You aren’t wrong. My governess used to give me mints whenever I was behaving like a proper gentleman.”
“See? It works!” Coach Beardenbeard looked around the office. “Do you have any mints around? I could use a freshener.”
Monrovedere set the newspaper aside. “No, I do not keep any. I absolutely loathe the scent of mint anymore. It provokes a profound retching reaction that I do not care for.”
“Childhood can give you some weird triggers, huh?” Beardenbeard asked. “I myself don’t like to wear short pants, even in summer. Now there’s a story for you. I was only eight, which would be about sixteen in human years when…”
“How are my Dragons doing?” Lord Monrovedere interrupted.
“They’re doin just fine, Boss. But first things first.” Coach Beardenbeard sat on the other side of the mahogany desk. He held out the box of donuts to the nobleman, but Monrovedere held up his hand. “Oh, no thank you.”
Beardenbeard held up the full kettle of coffee. “How about some Morning Brown?”
Lord Monrovedere’s eyes opened wide. “Oh, no. That stuff makes my heart feel like it is about to burst out of my chest! Honestly, you should switch to tea. It would be better for your health, I imagine. I highly recommend the Dhalimha blend.”
Beardenbeard shook his head. “I never developed a taste for tea. Tastes like the water at the bottom of the compost bin.”
Lord Monrovedere’s lips drew back in disgust. “And just how do you prepare it?”
“I don’t know. Probably not the right way. I just boil some water, pour it over some tea leaves in a cup and try to sip around the soggy clippings.” The dwarf watched the nobleman’s face turn from confusion to utter revulsion. It was a bit like watching a glacier calf a huge chunk of itself into the sea. The dwarf shrugged and helped himself to a sugar glazed donut. “So, Boss. What exactly did you want to talk about?”
Douglas Monrovedere held up a sheet of embossed paper. “We have, finally, been recognized as an adventuring party in the Minor Division of the Dungeon League.”
“That’s great news, Boss!” Coach Beardenbeard exclaimed. “Did you finally get the paperwork to go through?”
Douglas looked more tired than the dwarf had ever seen him. “Yes. All 800 forms, each one absolutely necessary. Along with a sizable registration fee. And all the associated waivers.”
“What sort of waivers?” the dwarf asked.
“You know. The usual. Pain waivers, death waivers. Doppelganger waivers in the case the adventurers become duplicated by one of those horrid creatures.” Lord Monrovedere waved a hand in dismissal. “All very standard procedure.”
Coach Beardenbeard was so shocked, he helped himself to a custard-filled crawler donut. “So you took a pretty sizable hit in the pocketbook, huh? Do you want us to set up a fundraising campaign? I can get those kids to wash some wagons in their swimsuits, just say the word.”
Lord Monrovedere chuckled. “No, that won’t be necessary. However, I have some startling news for you.”
“Startle me up, Boss. I’m ready.”
The nobleman steepled his fingers. “The Dungeon League commission expects you to be ready to compete in the next adventure.”
Coach Beardenbeard grimaced. “But didn’t the season just end? Pretty sure it did.”
Douglas shook his head. “For the Hero Division. But the smaller divisions start much, much earlier. And though their adventures aren’t broadcast all over the kingdom, they are still viewed by the enthusiastic locals.”
The dwarf scratched his chin. “I guess I wouldn’t have known that. My glory days only consist of the bigger division, back before the commission got everything figured out.”
“Which is for the best,” Monrovedere said, a bit forcefully.
“Which is for the best,” Beardenbeard repeated.
The nobleman eyed the box of glazed, frosted, and absolutely too-sugary breakfast treats. He looked tempted for a second. “So. Tell me truthfully. Will they be ready?”
Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.
“Does a water elemental play in the rain?” the coach asked.
Douglas sighed. “I am not sure, Goldath. You tell me.”
Coach Beardenbeard grinned. “It means, “Hell yes!” We got a big practice today, and I’ll really be able to see where they’re at. How much time do I got to whip them into adventure-ready status?”
“Two weeks.” Douglas couldn’t resist any longer. He carefully and daintily plucked out a chocolate cake donut from the box.
Coach Beardenbeard recoiled at the answer. “Two weeks?”
“The adventure is set for the fourteenth of Bloomtide. Can you do it or not?” Monrovedere asked after taking a delicate bite.
Coach Beardenbeard wiped some donut crumbs out of his mustache. “You’re a real slave-driver, you know that?”
“Can you do it?” Monrovedere asked, more sharply this time.
“Does a dragon gargle with lava?” the dwarf asked.
Lord Monrovedere slammed his hands on his desk. “Damn it, man! Speak plainly!”
Coach Beardenbeard grinned. “It means yes. Hell yes, Boss.”
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Coach Beardenbeard greeted his team with donuts and coffee when they arrived at the Monrovedere mansion. His party looked bleary-eyed and tired either from celebrating too hard the night before or just from delayed onset muscle soreness. Well, whatever the reason for them all to be sluggish, he would fix it.
“Dawnport Dragons,” Coach Beardenbeard said. “I present to you…coffee and donuts.”
Everyone except Euclid swarmed the donut box, each picking out a sugary treat. The [Mage] drifted over to the carafe and poured himself a cup, then poured one for the sleepy-eyed Rosemary.
“I like Sweet Morning’s dark roast, but I usually just grab a hazelnut latte,” Rosemary said, sipping carefully at the piping-hot paper cup.
Euclid raised his eyebrows. “I have never had a latte before.”
“Oh, you’re in for a treat. We’ll have to go sometime. My family owns it, so we can get a discount,” Rosemary said.
Berik grinned. “You’re in a chipper mood today. I’m not used to seeing Nice Rosemary.”
The gnome frowned and immediately reverted back to her prickly demeanor. “I just saw he didn’t dump tons of sugar and cream in his coffee. I can respect that. He’s a connoisseur like me.”
Berik glanced at Euclid, who only shrugged, a hint of a smile playing on his lips.
Coach Beardenbeard gave his party time enough to nosh on some donuts and get some coffee in their systems before he began.
“Good morning, everyone!” he said. “Glad to see you’re all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. If you’ll look inside each of the eight backpacks I have set out for you, you’ll find them all equipped with all the stuff you’ll need for today. In each one, there is a bedroll, a mess kit, a tinderbox, ten torches, ten days of rations, a waterskin, and fifty whole feet of rope!”
“Wait, Coach. How long are we going to be in the dungeon?” Key asked.
“As long as it takes!” the dwarf said. “Dougie…er, Lord Monrovedere, I mean, has an entire dungeon down in his cellar! Don't you worry though. All the monsters are out of an appropriate level so no one should get hurt. All right, adventurers. Let's see some hustle! Double time!”
The coach blew into his whistle and led them to their adventure. The Dawnport Dragons jogged out of the dining room, down the hallway, and through a labyrinth of riches and excess until they came upon a doorway that led into the cellar. The heavy door creaked open as though it was a set piece from the yearly Ghost Story Festival held every autumn.
The adventurers looked down at the lightless depths, uncertain as to who should be the first to go. Finally, Dayaka shoved his way past the dilly-dalliers.
“You all act like you’re scared of the dark,” he chided in his deep voice.
Beacon harrumphed and put her hands on her hips. “No way. It’s just that not all of us can see in the dark.”
That stopped Dayaka. “What, you want to be adventurers and you can’t even see in the dark?”
Berik looked over at Coach Beardenbeard, who only held up his hands. “This is something you’re gonna have to figure out,” the blonde dwarf said.
The party muttered amongst themselves until Berik clapped his hands. “Okay, before we go any further, we need to figure out who can naturally see in the dark.”
It was quick work to organize them into two groups. On the left, in a group of those who could see in the dark, he had Thurnal, Dayaka, Key, and Nirlid. On the right, in a group of those who couldn’t see in the dark, he had Beacon, Euclid, Rosemary, and himself.
“Evenly split. That’s not too bad,” Berik said. “Now what?”
Coach Beardenbeard held his hands out wide. “Well, since you all divided yourselves conveniently into two teams, your quest is to go into the scary cellar dungeon and retrieve the treasure I put down there earlier. Here, check out your Quest Log. You’ll see.”
Berik summoned his character sheet and saw the new quest.
The Greatest Treasure
Retrieve the treasure from the cellar.
* 0/1 treasure found
A clap from the coach brought Berik’s attention back to him. “There might be a monster or two, so be careful. But the first team to bring the treasure up here is the winner!”
“Winner, eh? What’s the prize for winning?” Dayaka asked.
“I’m glad you asked!” the coach exclaimed. “The winning team will get to keep the treasure!”
Dayaka smirked and cracked his knuckles.
“And the quest starts…now!” The coach blew his whistle. “Go, go, go!”
Key, Thurnal, and Nirlid sprinted downstairs and disappeared into the darkness. Dayaka gave a shrug and slowly sauntered down the stairs, his large frame filling up most of the space in the stairwell.
Beacon, Euclid, Rosemary, and Berik blinked at each other.
“This is so not fair,” the gnome grumbled. “It’s completely dark down there! No windows, no lights, nothing!”
“Yeah, but we’ve got both [Mages] in the party. Can either of you cast anything that might give us some light?” Berik asked.
“I could, but that would be a waste of a spell. I only have so many! And we don’t know what kind of monsters are down there or how many!” Rosemary said.
“And I am not that kind of [Mage],” Euclid said.
Berik shot a glance at Coach Beardenbeard who remained silent. Silent, but grinning.
The [Fighter] felt like he had just been hit by lightning. “So what? We can make our own light. We’ve got a ton of torches between all four of us. They may be able to see in the dark. And they’ve got a head start. But we’ve got two [Mages] loaded for bear. We got a [Rogue] who can track like no one’s business. We’re gonna do just fine. We’re gonna find that treasure first and win!”
“But what about Dayaka?” Rosemary asked. “You just know he’s just going to wait until we grab the treasure, and he’ll attack us when we try to head back up the stairs!”
Berik’s eyebrows rose. He actually hadn’t thought about that. But he found himself grinning. “Yeah, he may be big and tough. But last year at ShrimpFest, I managed to subdue and arrest his big green ass. He ain’t got nothin on me! And that means, he ain’t got nothin on us!”
Together, with their torches held high, the four of them descended into the darkness to face whatever traps and monsters lie in wait.