Dandylion was, thankfully, fully clothed when Berik returned home. The devilkin looked at Berik as he strode through the door with big, yearning eyes, much like a puppy when their person comes home.
“Hey, how was work?” he asked.
Berik flopped down on the couch that somehow managed to look even worse than before. It creaked ominously under his weight. “Real good. Had my first quest. But I’m tired. And my head hurts. Dude, did you just wake up?”
“No time like the night time.” Dandylion said. “What did they have you do?”
“Coach divided us into teams so we could clean the owner’s humongous house. He had fired his whole staff so he could use that money for the party. Kinda crazy, but whatever. Anyway, most of the rooms have been converted into dungeons and it’s practice for us when we go in and get the room in order.”
“What room did you get?” Dandylion asked.
“The pantry.” Berik shook his head at the memory. “And it shouldn't have existed. The dimensions were all wrong. There was no way it could fit in the mansion. No way.”
Dandylion nodded sagely. “Wizards. I bet wizards did it.”
“And I bet they were responsible for the giant rat we took down,” Berik said.
“Ew. Rats are horrible,” Dandylion said. “Who were you paired up with?”
Berik finished his coffee. “Some dude named Euclid. He’s terrifying. Pretty sure he’s gonna eat someone's head or something.”
“Euclid?” Dandylion asked. “Tall skinny dude? Messed up eye? No hair, super pale?”
“Yeah. You know him?” Berik had learned long ago that Dandylion knew everyone. It was both a frustrating and amazing feature.
“Yeah, I know that cat.” Dandylion pulled his guitar case from under the couch. “He’s something else, I’ll tell you that much. But he’s all right.”
“What’s his deal? He talked to me in my mind! Is he even human?” Berik said.
Dandylion just chuckled. “He’s as human as he can be.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Berik asked.
His roommate only shook his head. “That's not my story to tell.”
“That only leaves even more questions,” Berik said.
“I don’t think he’s gonna hurt you. Or anyone.” Dandylion looked around the living room and packed away the inexplicable bouquet of flowers sitting in a vase. He wrapped it in a cloth and stuck the bundle in a bag.
“How do you know all this?” Berik asked.
“I tried scoring with Beacon. You know. That chick with all the colors in her hair?” Dandylion said.
Berik slapped his forehead. He couldn’t think of anyone Dandylion hasn’t tried to score with. “Yep. She’s in my party too. Of course you tried to sleep with her.”
“You sound like I did something wrong. Do your eyes work? She’s gorgeous. Got curves for days. I like em thick, you know,” Dandylion said.
“You like anyone,” Berik said.
“You make it sound like I’m some kind of slattern.”
“How do you even know that word? I never see you read.”
“What can I say? I’m wise beyond my years,” Dandylion said. He went up to a mirror and began applying makeup. With very little effort, he had done up his eyes with eyeliner, eye shadow, and mascara. He checked himself from every angle, decided to use a tube of lipstick on his already red lips, and winked at himself when he was all done.
“Anyway, Beacon is his friend. I don’t know how she knows him, but they’re tight,” Dandylion said. He adjusted the bright yellow, poofy shirt he was wearing and grinned at himself in the mirror.
“What happened when you went to make a move?” Berik asked. He had thought about maybe pursuing her if that wasn’t against some kind of Dungeon League party policy.
“Euclid looked at me,” Dandylion said.
“He looked at you? What, that’s it?”
“Yeah. That’s all it took,” Dandylion said. “Then he bought me a drink.”
“Whoa. Wait, where were you?” Berik asked.
“The Crowning Glory,” Dandylion yawned and stretched. “Glad you came home when you did. I’ve gotta go to work.”
“Where are you working at now?” Berik asked.
“Oh, I’ve got a gig at the Crowning Glory.” Dandylion grinned. “What do you say? Wanna come support your best friend? It’s Five Copper Ale Night, so you can get loaded for cheap.”
Well, when he put it like that, Berik practically didn’t have a choice.
****
The Crowning Glory was absolutely packed with people looking to get drunk for cheap. The smell of spilled beer mingled with the odor of working class bodies pressed together. Only when Draysco held drink specials like this would the tavern be this full. That and when he would host a big Dungeon League adventure on the wall. Berik spared a moment to glance up at the space where, maybe one day his adventure would be shown.
“Berik!” a familiar voice called out. He craned his head to look through the crowd and spotted Beacon’s colorful mop of hair. She waved to him and smiled like he had already made her night. And right beside her like some nightmarish apparition was Euclid.
Dandylion strode right up to their table and sat down like he had been invited. In the devilkin’s mind, he was always invited. “Beacon! Euclid! I hear you’ve got a new adventurer in your party. Just…just take care of my boy. He means the world to me,” he said, pitching his voice higher so he sounded like he was going to cry.
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“I think he'll be just fine,” Beacon said. “Euclid was just telling me about their quest with the rats. Honestly, I’m impressed. You ran up his belly and damn near sliced his head off!”
Berik felt himself blush. “Well, Euclid did most of the work. He kept the Rat King distracted. Otherwise, I’d be no better than a block of cheese.”
“Ber-Ber! You didn’t tell me anything about a Rat King!” Dandylion said. “My boy is so modest.”
“Ber-Ber? Aww, that’s cute,” Beacon said. Berik silently cursed his friend.
“I just can’t believe you managed to grab control of the rat swarm like that,” Berik said to Euclid. “That was something else. You’re pretty strong!”
Euclid sipped at his beverage with no visible reaction. “We are as strong as the situation calls for.”
We? Berik thought. What the hell did that mean? But before he could worry, Beacon nudged Euclid in the ribs.
“There is only you, remember?” she said in a low voice.
Euclid nodded and took another sip of his drink. Before Berik could ask any questions, Beacon turned to Dandylion and Berik. “So, what are you two doing here tonight?”
“Nothing major. I’m going to just melt your faces with my diabolical tunes,” Dandylion said. He tossed his glossy, raven-black hair over his shoulder. He glanced at the crowd and grinned in anticipation. “Oh yeah. Yeah, they’re ready. And the owner is flaggin me down. I better get on the stage and make some panties drop.”
When the devilkin hopped on the stage set against the wall, Beacon leaned in closer to Berik. “Is he always like this?”
Berik nodded and rolled his eyes.
“Just like I thought.” she said. “He seems like another stereotypical horny bard.”
Berik had nothing to say to that. What could he say? It was true. Dandylion was exactly what she said, but he was also too damn fun to shun.
“It is a persona he has carefully built around himself,” Euclid said. “It is so strong and convincing that he never needed to build anything of real substance within.”
Berik was going to ask what he meant by that but Beacon winced. “I thought we talked about that.”
“I did not pry. He presents his persona as loudly as a town crier shouting the news.” Euclid stood and took his empty cup. “Does anyone else want another drink?”
Beacon presented her cup. “Yes, please!”
Euclid took her tankard and raised his eyebrows at Berik.
“Uh, sure. Would you get me an Icewind Ale?” Berik said.
Euclid nodded and disappeared into the crowd. On the stage, Dandylion took out his lute and began the long, tedious process of tuning it. There were a few jeers from the crowd, but he ignored them. His lute was already turned, but he insisted on making the crowd wait. He said anticipation was the life of spice, and Berik never bothered to correct him.
Berik turned to Beacon. “He insists he doesn’t use magic.”
Beacon chuckled. “He doesn’t.”
“Kinda funny for a [Mage],” Berik said. “Not to use magic.”
“I’m a [Rogue] and I don’t backstab people,” Beacon explained. “If you could use magic, would you?”
“Hell yeah.”
“But would you still be a [Fighter]? Or would you switch your class to [Mage]?” Beacon said. “The class system is too rigid.”
“Yeah, I agree.” Berik let the sounds of the crowd swell around him. Had it only been a few days ago that he was rip roaring drunk and somehow impressed Lord Monrovedere? Then he realized he had been silent for way too long. He needed to say something, anything, or else Beacon might think he was a weirdo. Or at least had become disinterested in her.
“So, uhhh…why are you in the Dungeon League?” he finally asked.
She smirked. “I’m looking for a particular treasure. I figured this would be the easiest way to find it.”
“Oh yeah. That’s right. Once we start doing official dungeons, there’s always a treasure involved isn’t there?” Berik asked,
“Sometimes finding it is the condition for victory,” Beacon said. “Sometimes, you just find good loot. And I’ll hear about each and every one presented in the dungeons. Believe it or not, this is a way more efficient system than just wandering the globe hoping to find it.”
“What is this treasure you want?” Berik asked.
“The Moonlight Mirror.”
“Oh, that sounds interesting,” Berik said. “What does it do?”
A wistful look came into her eyes. “I’ll be able to go home.”
Berik was about to ask her where she was from but then Euclid returned.
“Your Icewind Ale,” he said, pushing the cup to Berik.
“Thanks! What do I owe you?” Berik asked.
“You do not owe me anything, We are in a party” Euclid said.
“Oh, okay. We’ll, I’ll get you next time. What are you drinking?” Berik asked.
“Coffee.”
“Coffee? In a tavern? At this hour?” Berik couldn’t believe it.
“I do not enjoy alcoholic beverages,” Euclid said.
Finally, Dandylion had had enough. He strummed his lute to make a wail and get everyone’s attention.
“This is the final show that Buttermilk Sally and the Oathbreakers will play. It’s just too emotional to say anything more about it. After the show, I will be handing out flowers to commemorate what was once the greatest band in history.” He held up the bouquet, sniffed it, and then ripped off his shirt. “They’re only two coppers each!”
“Wait, what band is he talking about? He’s in a band?” Beacon asked.
Berik shook his head at his friend. “Buttermilk Sally isn’t a band. It never existed. I bet you money he came up with the idea just now.”
He played some tavern favorites like Burning Hands of Love and Eldritch Child. But then he began playing an atonal melody that Berik was sure he hadn’t practiced. It was weird and unsettling with how discordant it was. But above all else, it sounded sad. This was a new sound from the generally upbeat Dandylion.
Beacon held up her empty mug and smiled. “Want another?”
“Sure!” Berik pushed his tankard toward her.
“Eukey?” she asked.
“I must decline. But thank you,” Euclid said.
“Okay! I’ll be right back.” And with that, the ranger was off like a shot, pressing her short form through the crowd. And once she was far enough away, Euclid turned to him with his unsettling gaze.
“You will be paired with her in tomorrow’s practice,” he said. “You’ll be in the garden, cleaning up what the previous group could not finish.”
“Oh, that’ll be easy enough. A day’s worth of yard work builds character,” Berik said with a nervous chuckle. “At least, that’s always what my mom said.”
Euclid did not laugh. “You are capable. But you have a tendency to weaken yourself. To make yourself fail. I suggest you cease that self-destructive behavior.”
Berik couldn’t help but get defensive. “Oh yeah? And how do you suggest I do that?”
“Stop drinking. Go home. Get adequate sleep,” Euclid said.
“Who are you? My mom?” Berik said with a scoff. “What are you gonna do if I don’t?”
Berik leaned back, confident in his reply. But he felt a prickling presence behind his eyes and he knew Euclid was reaching into his mind again just like back in the pantry.
Berik could only stare at him, wide-eyed. Luckily, Beacon sat down and slammed his drink on the table. “They were all out of Icewind Ale, but I hope you like Silvery Moon Lager.”
“Uh. You know…um…” Berik stammered. “I’ve gotta get home. Thanks for the drink, but I’ve gotta…um…wet my stone.”
“What?” Beacon asked, clearly confused.
“Yeah. You know. So I can sharpen my sword,” Berik said. “Well, I’m off! See you tomorrow!”
Beacon giggled. “You don’t actually have to wet a whetstone…”
But it was too late. Berik was already hustling out of the tavern. But only because he wanted to! Not because some spooky bastard had told him to!