The giant demon roared at the party, sending flaming spittle flying onto the barren ground. He took a step forward, causing the earth to shake under his infernal hoof. Berik and the rest of the party could only stare at this obscene monster. Defeating him was the only way to get home according to Coach Beardenbeard. But all Berik had fought was a big rat in the pantry! How was he supposed to kill a colossal creature that could breathe fire and fly?
The shrill sound of Coach Beardenbeard’s whistle startled everyone and shook them out of their overwhelming, paralyzing horror. “Focus up!” he shouted. “We’re the Dawnport Dragons and we can do this! Beacon, I need you to lay down some suppressing fire. Keep the big guy busy but stay out of his reach!”
The ranger nodded and readied her bow, hiding behind a large rocky outcropping as she prepared to fire. Back at the coach’s side, Nirlid looked ready to launch himself at the enormous creature in another one of his trademark flying kicks, but Bearbenbeard held out his hand. “No, Nirly-Bird, you’re with me. Remember, you’re the [Healer]. So you gotta stay out of the skirmish. Stay here in the back in case anyone needs healin.”
Nirlid scowled, but he didn’t engage the demon. Beardenbeard glanced over at Berik, who now stood resolute with his sword and shield. “Sword-n-Board, you’re gonna be the one to get up in his grill. Can you handle that?”
Berik smirked. “Sure can, Coach! I got a new sword and a new shield! I can get it done.”
“Then go mess him up!” Coach Beardenbeard slapped Berik’s back with a clank and sent him off running at the enormous fiend.
“What about me?” Euclid asked.
A wicked grin spread across the coach’s face. “Do you think you can lift me with your weird totally-not-magic powers?” the dwarf asked.
The [Mage’s] expression never changed. “It will take everything I have, but yes. I can.”
“Then stand by for my signal and lift me, Mind Daddy!” the dwarven coach said. He put his spiked helmet back on. “Let’s slay an OP demon, folks!”
Berik slashed at the gargantuan fiend’s hairy legs. Though his sword was sharp, the blade didn’t seem to be able to cut through Dredmorgg’s flesh. There was some kind of resistance there, but the [Fighter] didn’t have time to figure it out. The demon kicked at him with his sharp hooves, but luckily his shield took most of the damage. But whatever got past his armor still hurt. He staggered back, shook his head, and dodged out of the way of another barrage of kicks.
He pulled up his character sheet with just a thought. 7/20 hit points? He already wasn’t doing so great. His form was good, but he couldn’t block every strike. He was beginning to tire, he was taking on too much damage, and he knew he couldn’t keep up his defense forever.
The deep sound of Dredmorgg’s laughter shook him through his very core. Berik kept going, slashing with his sword. He wasn’t intent on hurting the horrible monster. He had no hope of killing the demon. He just wanted to keep him from attacking the other party members.
“This is getting tiresome. Die!” Dredmorgg bellowed. Berik blocked the barbed tail with his shield, but a long split formed right down the middle. Any more attacks from that tail and his new shield would break! He leaped back and saw Dredmorgg had summoned a giant fireball between his hands. He held it over his head as it grew and grew, getting hotter and hotter with every moment.
A barrage of arrows pierced the demon’s face and chest. Berik saw Beacon dart behind a rock formation and knew he wasn’t alone in the fight. The demon went to hurl the magical inferno her way, but Berik dashed in front of the rocks.
“C’mon, you ugly son of a bitch! You’re a big demon but I’m still standing!” he shouted. “What does that say about you?”
Dredmorgg snarled and hurled the fireball at the [Fighter]. Berik hid behind his shield and it immediately incinerated, leaving him completely defenseless. Another hit and he would be dead! Luckily, Beacon let fly another storm of arrows that glittered with magical potency. Dredmorgg roared in pain as they penetrated his face, chest, arms, and legs.
“Nice! He’s only hurt by magical weapons!” Berik shouted.
Beacon gave him a thumbs-up before slipping behind more cover.
“Sword-n-Board! You’re done!” he heard Coach Beardenberad shout. “Fall back! To me!”
Berik didn’t stop to think. He retreated to where the coach, Euclid, and Nirlid were standing. The sea elf twitched with inaction, but he held his ground.
“Your [Fighter] looks badly hurt. Do your thing, Nirlid!” Coach urged him.
Nirlid nodded. He moved his arms in a quick succession of unnatural gestures. The air glowed around him and suddenly he thrust his hands out at Berik, striking him right in the chest. He expected to lose some more hit points with how hard Nirlid hit him, but instead, he felt a rush of revitalizing energy flow through him. He checked his character sheet.
15/20 hit points. Yeah, that would do. But the coach wasn’t done. “Stay here, Berik. I’m gonna need you to hit it out of the park.”
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Berik had no idea what he meant by that but Beardenbeard wasn’t finished. “Lift me!”
Euclid held out both his hands. Visibly trembling, he used his psionic skills to levitate the dwarf four feet off the ground. Coach Beardenbeard wasn’t very tall, but he was dense like all dwarves, and his chunky armor had to be weighing him down even more. Blood poured from Eucid’s left eye, but he continued to keep Beardenbeard aloft.
“You’re doing good,” Coach Beardenbeard praised. “Hold. Hold!”
Dredmorgg roared as arrows pelted him. He stomped his way towards Beacon, but he saw the majority of the party was gathered together in one spot. Grinning his awful grin, the demon began forming another fireball.
“Nirid! Berik! Hit me as hard as you can!” Beardenbeard shouted. He roared with fury, his eyes rolling back, froth foaming from his mouth.
There was no time to wonder what would happen. The [Healer] and the [Fighter] braced themselves behind the coach and struck him with their fist and sword in unison. And instead of obliterating the coach, the damage somehow launched the dwarf like he was some kind of cannonball. He was a terrible, spiky ball of dwarven death as he shot toward the demon and blew through his chest with the combined fury of the whole party. Down he went with a mighty, earth-shaking thud. The fireball that he had been forming disappeared instantly.
Dredmorgg lie motionless. Beacon crept out from her hiding place to join the others. Euclid fell to his knees, gasping and panting with the effort of lifting the heavy dwarf.
“Is he dead?” Berik asked.
“Yeah. I think he is.” Beacon said.
“What about Coach?” Nirlid asked, looking toward the fallen demon.
“I’m not sure. Did we just launch our coach to death?” Berik asked. A hot breeze blew over the battlefield. There came no answer from the terrible monster or his lifeless body.
The party heard a mighty roar. The demon’s body spasmed.
“He’s not dead!” Berik shouted. “Everyone, get behind me!”
To his amazement, Nirlid, Beacon, and Euclid formed up behind him, ready to strike down the beast that wouldn’t die even though they had practically nothing left. The demon jerked, twitched, and rolled over to reveal a very bloody, very pleased Coach Beardenbeard.
“Hoo-wee! I ain’t done that in a long time!” he said. He jogged over to the stunned party. “Look at you. Y’all did so great. That was one hell of a thing you all did.”
“Did we get any XP?” Nirlid asked. He worked his life energy and used it to heal whatever damage Beardenbead had taken.
The dwarf laughed. “Hell no!”
“What?” the entire party was shocked.
The coach wiped some gore from his face. “Remember? You can only receive XP from official adventures. This? I'm afraid it don’t count.”
“We did this for nothing?” Euclid asked, still bleeding from his eye.
“What? No!” Coach Beardenbeard put his hands on his hips. “We took down a monster that was way too high level for y'all. We came together as a team. And we learned a little more about friendship. Good hustle, guys! Let’s go home!
And with that, a beam of light came down over the party and lifted them into the air. Everything around them became a blinding white light. The next time Berik blinked, he found himself back in Coach Beardenbeard’s apartment. The place hadn’t been ransacked like the coach had thought, but the shield remained on the floor.
“Oh good!” Beardenbeard exclaimed. “I figured it would disappear after we took down the boss! But it’s still here!”
“Why is that a good thing?” Beacon asked.
“It means that we can go back and take on Dredmorgg again!” The dwarf brought his hands together with a cracking clap. “Now that’s exciting! What’s say we all celebrate our victory and go to the Crowning Glory? First round’s on me!”
Beirk glanced out of the window. “Coach, the sun is coming up.”
Coach Beardenbeard gave a deafening clap again. “New plan. How’s about we go home, get cleaned up, get some sleep and take the rest of the whole daggum day off?”
“What about the rest of the party? Dayaka, Rosemary, Key, and Thrunal?” Beacon asked.
Beardenbeard laughed. “Oh, those guys? I’ll send a message to them. Those scamps can run laps around the training mansion tomorrow.”
Euclid finally got the bleeding to stop from his eye. But the motion caught the notice of the coach.
“Nirlid, heal him, would you?” Beardenbeard asked.
Nirlid looked like he was going to argue but made the healing gestures and approached the trembling [Mage].
Euclid held up a hand and backed away from the monk. “This isn’t damage from the battle. When I use too much of my…magic…my eye bleeds. It looks worse than it is.”
“Are you sure?” Beardenbeard said.
Radiant energy still crackled around Nirlid’s fist. “Yes. Are you sure?”
The [Mage] and the [Healer] glared at each other. Berik wondered if Euclid was exchanging words with Nirlid silently, but there was no way for him to know. But before it could come to blows, the two looked away from each other.
“What are we gonna do for the next practice?” Berik asked loudly, breaking up the tension that had grown uncomfortably strong.
“Oh, next time we meet up, we’re gonna learn more about teamwork.” Coach put the shield into a closet and locked the door. “We’ll be exploring the wine cellar in teams of two!”
“Woo,” Nirlid said as deadpan as he could.
“The theme of the next practice is “teamwork makes the dream work!” I’m so excited to see how y’all do!” The dwarf could hardly contain his exuberance.
“Quick question before we leave,” Beacon said.
“Yes, ma’am?” the coach asked.
“Why can we only earn XP in official adventures?”
Coach Beardenbeard tugged his mustache as he remembered old adventures and even older days. “Well, that rule keeps the League’s adventurers from wandering about, pickin fights with anyone and everyone! If we didn’t have the “only get XP in official dungeons” rule, the world would be overrun with murderhobos. And then we’d be back in the bad old days.”
“Bad old days?” Berik asked. He winced as he yawned. He was pretty sure a rib had been cracked.
“Murderhobos?” Beacon asked. She looked dead on her feet, completely exhausted from the events of the day.
Coach Beadenbeard shook his head. “I’ll answer that next practice. You’ve had enough for one day. Go on! Get some rest!”
With a sigh of relief, each party member left the apartment with their coach’s delighted laughter following them.