Dee staggered through the house feeling guilty, strolling past the Gizzy confessional room and contemplating using it as an actual confessional for her recent sin of having sex with Hyde, when suddenly a “pssst” from inside the room got her attention. She walked in, and the door closed. Relief washed over her as the lights clicked on and Melody was standing there, and not someone with a knife... Maybe Evee with a knife. We can all picture that.
“Hey, Dee…have you noticed anything weird lately?” Mel whispered.
“We live on a spacebug invested moon with alien bears as roommates, define weird.” She said, looking exhausted.
“Valid point. I don’t wanna say anything, but I’m dying for some gossip and something to do, and I think I might have discovered a mystery. I think someone is cheating on their lover.” She said excitedly. Dee looked alarmed and shocked.
“You cannot tell anyone about this, Mel. Especially Evee. Please do not say anything. It could get lethal.”
“Wha…that’s why I’m telling you. You’re the gossip girl of the house, I thought you’d wanna know first, if not exclusively.”
“Wait. What do you think you know exactly?”
“Well, obviously you’re thinking it too, I can see your shock that someone else found out as well. I think Evee Nicole is sleeping with Jack in the tunnels.” She said, waiting for effect.
“What!?” she said with a fake shock and appalling cringe. "That little shit.” Dee barked.
“You didn’t know?” Mel asked.
“Well, of course I had a theory, but I assumed it was bullshit, till you said it. Now, obviously there’s gotta be something to it if you found out the same thing. How did you found out, what did you found out exactly?” she squinted nervously.
“I noticed Jack has been missing a lot at night. He has a habit of not sleeping around the time I’m not sleeping, and he has a whiskey old fashion by the back glass. I assumed he was just sleeping better since he wasn't there, but several nights in a row? So I went looking around, and didn’t see him anywhere else. And I noticed Evee and Hyde fighting a lot, and then suddenly they stopped fighting the night Jack began skipping his insomnia drinks. Which is nothing too crazy until just now I heard them leaving the tunnel together, and she looked…flushed. Like she had been crying or emotional. Her lipstick was smudged, and she said, 'hope to see you soon, bring your flashlight.' And then he stood there for a while like he didn’t want to look like they left at the same time. Now the Nicoles have this weird tunnel fixation, and Jack has the only key to the lock. So where are they going, and why?”
“That’s exactly what I was thinking, how could they do that? And Poor Vicky and Hyde?”
“Yea poor Vicky, I agree but... You hate Hyde.”
“Yea, but nobody wants to be cheated on. I kinda feel bad for him a little.”
“Eew…but yea, poor Vicki. I know Jack is basically James Bond, but I really didn’t take him for a cheater. I guess if you’re a spy, you would be good at lying and probably WOULDN’T seem like a cheater even if you were, but he seems like such a nice guy.” Mel said, looking sad.
“Okay, but we could be wrong, so don’t say anything to anyone and keep me updated. But I’m gonna do some sneaking around too, so if you see me sneaking around, don’t follow me, or you’ll blow my cover. I'm totally sneaking around for this, so just stay back and quiet.”
“Good point. Just between us.”
Dee stood with her arms crossed. Staring at the ground as Hyde did a few remaining reps on the bench press, cigar in his mouth and no shirt.
“So Evee is cheating on you with Jack.” She said, tossing her arms up.
“That proves nothing. Mel is a gossip machine, she's as bad as you. You’re just trying to justify your own betrayal.” He said re-racking it to add more.
“What? Betrayal? We had sex one time, and she’s already cheating on you.”
“Dee, we had sex because we’re shitty people, I’m just aware that I am. In my culture, having multiple wives is common, and Evee picked me knowing what I am, and I still feel bad for it. She doesn't love me. You on the other hand cheated on your partner who does, but with your best friend’s husband. I gave you the choice to go or stay, and you stayed. I presented the problem of temptation, and you chose it. I’m an asshole, and that means you’re worse. Welcome to the dark side.” he sighed.
“Oh don’t even, She was cheating on you with Jack for a week now, and then we cheated, so we’re all cheaters so we’re all even. Except I cheated on Silverback and that feels shitty. Okay, so we’re all assholes except him, but I’m not the worst one here. This is just cabin fever and horny people stuck in a couple of bird cages going wild and everyone cheating on everyone.”
“Except Silverback.” He reminded.
“Yea I know, that’s gonna hurt him if he finds out, but we don’t exactly have a monogamous relationship anyway, and I think it’s fizzling out anyway. I probably deserve to get dumped. If anything, this may have been inevitable.”
This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.
“Always an excuse for why you didn't do anything wrong. Do you believe it or just hope other people will? And that’s you alleviating your guilt because you want to think you did nothing wrong, going behind your best friend's back and cheating on your boyfriend with her husband.” Hyde scoffed.
“Okay, firstly You and Evee's marriage is even legal, you’re just calling it that. The only married people are Vinn and Nicole, and they’re doing great, by the way. So…how did you screw that up? Nicole does fine with him, but Evee and you cheat?”
“Dee, stop projecting your innocence by proving everyone else’s guilt. I’m a man, we tend to be jerks because we have needs, and you’re here to defend your infidelity and betraying your best friend, or her clone at least, while here to do the same thing again. Are you not here right now to have sex again? You're wearing a robe and no bra.”
“Well… we already did it, and she’s cheating too, so…put the stupid barbells down and pick me up. You need some Dee and I need THE D.”
“I am not shocked that Evee would find comfort in another human. She is mostly human, but I thought Jack had more honor than that"
“You can’t Fupar Jack for doing your pseudo-wife while you’re cheating on her too. That’s stupid, and you’re not getting any of this sweet Dee until you promise not to try and kill Jack.”
“I make no promise.” he said firmly.
"Please?"
"You can go home."
“Okay fine, let's do it, and then once you’re feeling better you can promise not to try and kill Jack. You do realize he’s a damn assassin, and he fights smart and dirty, so he’d kill you, hide the body, and then just keep your Evee anyway.”
“Why does everyone keep assuming Jack is the top of the food chain? He’s just a human.”
“He kicked your ass before, and Vinn’s ass, and you’re both 3-4 times his size with claws and horns. Then he just TRAINED Vinn and Vinn killed you. And then he trained your ass, and you survived fighting Gizzy. Even Gizzy let’s Jack break the rules for no reason. Honey, Jack is the top of the food chain. You just don’t realize it. You do not wanna confront him and compete for Evee. You can’t win that. Every man here thinks he's the alpha male, and all the ladies know it's fuckin Jack.”
“So I just let Jack take away my woman while you go running back to your man after we’ve had sex, and I just sit here like a sad rooster, cuck-a-doodle-doo"
“I don’t know, Hyde, we don’t even know for a fact she’s sleeping with Jack, it’s just a probability and you’re outgunned regardless"
“What’s it like…to look your man in the eyes after screwing someone else? Are you giving him the same look after every party you guys go to that you’re giving me now? Is he too stupid to see that it’s a lie or is he too afraid to tell you he knows, because I’m not stupid or scared. I’m just confused and waiting for my options.” Hyde growled.
“What do you want me to do…leave Silverback for you? We had sex twice, I didn’t put on the damn marriage bead.”
“I’m telling you that I’m not like him, and I’m not gonna share you. It’s unacceptable and degrading. If you want a slave to carry your princess ass around on a padded chair, run to him. If you want a real man who won’t take your shit and who will treat you like a damn equal, then run to him and tell him it’s over. I’m not your swinger’s club side dick, Dee. We tried something, and it was damn fun. Trial run is over, you gotta pick what you want. Take your time, we’re stuck in this little tandem commune anyway, so you know where to find me. Nobody’s going anywhere with a lock on the doors and the tunnels infested. Take all the time you need to battle that out.” He said. "In the meantime, I need to talk to Jack. Where the hell has he been all day?”
Jack adjusted his night vision goggles, shouldering his weapon and firing 2 last shots.
“Section clear. Move in.” he said. Vicki rushed down the tunnel, full tactical gear and dragging a piece of plywood. She unholstered her screw gun and drove 2 brackets into the stone wall, then clicked in the makeshift doorway.
“Barrier deployed.” She said firmly with a smile. She opened the crude swinging mechanism, and they crawled through, one bug rushing past them as they latched it. Vicki began spraying the tunnel gaps with expanding foam as they scratched the other side, and Jack knelt down to take aim. He waited as it crawled away towards the previous barrier.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Nothing. I just haven’t had a challenging shot yet” he said getting down on his belly and adjusting distance.
“What are you waiting for?”
“250 yards.” He said, pulling the trigger and splattering the bug.
“Doesn’t sound that far.”
“It is hitting a 3 inch target serpentine running with a folding 22 long rifle.”
“I have no idea what half of that means but hearing you describe it is still sexy as hell.” She said finishing the barrier. “Section sealed. That’s 3 sections in 3 days. When do you sleep?” she asked.
“I don’t. I just run on fumes till it kills me.” he huffed.
“I see why you do this. The rush, the risk, the thrill. And I’m just shooting bugs in a tube at close range. I don’t know how you do it, but I get why you do. Things need to be done, someone has to do them. And it gets addictive. That fear is a hell of a drug.”
“I don’t feel the fear anymore. Not until you insisted on coming down here with me. Now I got something to worry about and a reason to be scared.” He said.
“I’m not a child, Jack. I may not be a top assassin, but this isn’t the streets of Amenthis, it’s basically just glorified pest control. It’s one step up from an arcade game where you can get bit.” She reminded.
“What are we gonna do when we finally get to the end of the tunnel?”
“Keep going?” she suggested. “This is my home now, and you may defend it from the big threats I can’t handle, but I can sure as shit handle this.” She said as he looked her up and down, her long legs in tight black Lycra and strapped with tactical gear. He looked both directions, cycling the goggles to double-check the tunnel was clear.
“I’m calling that a mission successful for now. Stand down. I have to check you for bite marks.”
“Nothing touched me, I promise.”
“Well, something needs to.” He said, gently pushing her towards the wall and feeling his way down her sides and hips. “I have to be sure there are no bites you didn’t notice in the heat of it all. You can’t be too careful.” He insisted. Feeling around her waist and up her back to her neck as she lifted her arms and stared him in the eyes.
“I guess you didn’t find any bite marks.” She grinned.
“No, I guess we’ll have to just make some ourselves.” He said, pinning her hands up and embracing her in a passionate kiss. Their feet shifted positions, as articles of gear and clothing began falling around them.
Nicole slid off of Vinn’s sleeping chest and made her way to the bathroom. On her way out, she heard movement. The grunting of the stone wall closing. She snuck her way towards it and spotted Jack, still in some of his tactical gear, pouring himself a drink. He rubbed his neck and stretched, taking off his shirt to ice his shoulder. She noticed a rather fresh set of teeth marks on his right upper bicep. Human, or human-ish at least. She waited till he headed up to the next floor to Vicki’s room to check the maintenance closet. The intersection to the tunnels was still wet with footprints, and the lock was on upside down.
“Where are you going, Jack…and who are you playing with?” she whispered.