The clank of metal bars echoed to the sound of early 2000s rap, as well as grunts and groans. Evee carefully approached the weight room, knocking on the open door loudly.

“Dee, I swear we had this conversation.” Silverback hollered, as if half-straining and half-stressed from the incursion.

“It’s Evee.” She carefully hollered.

“Oh.” He said, racking the weights. “Sorry about that, I assumed…come on in, what brings you to the boy's lounge?…or in this case the old fart’s lounge."

“Trying to avoid Hyde, needed someone to talk to. Jack is just…missing, I can’t talk to Vinn, and I’m pissed at Hyde, so you’re the only male left in the two locations.”

“Can’t find Jack? Weird. I couldn’t find him the other day. Small space to lose someone, so you know what that means…Gizzy work.”

“Couldn’t find Vicki either the other day.”

“Probably just a fluke. So you just need a place to hide from Hyde’s giant hide, or you here to do some lifting?” he joked.

“Actually can I talk with you?” she asked shyly.

“Any Nicole is a friend of mine, and that makes you just as privy to my wisdom. Too bad you can’t spot me, we could kill 2 birds with one stone.”

“Why can’t I spot you?” she asked.

“No offense but if my ancient arms give out can you even get the bar off me?” he asked, staring a good foot and 3 inches down at her. She brushed past him and got down on the bench press.

“That’s a 180 warmup bar, you’re not gonna li-” he started as she grunted and got the bar up, clanking it back down. “Holy jumpin spacejesus, that 2 percent fish in the mix has some perks.

“Okay, that’s a lot.” She admitted.

“Fair enough, spot me.” He said corrected. “Honestly I’m glad you can’t do that any easier, I’m already the weakest male in the house, last thing I need on my ego is the ladies out benching me."

“Oh you’re not weak.” She scoffed.

“Easy for you to say. You’re lifting advanced weight for someone with way more body mass and last time I checked Nicoles don’t even work out. Jack is young, fit, in his prime, and the other boys are 7 and 8 foot genetically engineered mammoths lifting in the thousands. I’m the human equivalent of a man in his 50’s. I can’t keep up with shit. If the women pass me up I’m done.”

“Why do men have to always act macho?”

“To impress the women. And because it works. I’m fairly sure Dee only stays with me because we swing on the weekends, and she can get some strange. I’m safe and convenient, but obsolete as hell.”

“That’s not true. In fact that’s the problem I have right now. Toxic Delmarian masculinity. Hyde just…he has no depth or interests aside from flexing his alpha male status. Sports, fighting, war, sex, repeat.”

“And you’re still in love with Vinn, the big love moosey with a heart and character, hu?” he nodded.

“How did you know?” she sighed.

“I see you every day, and I see them every day so that means you see them together. I swear them and the Jack/Vicki duo are perfect couples, I’m just barely hanging on there, and it’s pretty clear if I had to be in the same 2 house cage with my clone and the one that got away, I’d be messed up about it. You didn’t even break up, you just woke up as the second Nicole, and your husband didn’t notice you were gone. That’s devastating shit. It’s impressive that you hold together as well as you do.”

“I don’t…that’s the problem. Hyde is just not him, and we have zero common interests aside from sex. I’m getting kinda burned out, seeing THEM together and blissfully in love just makes it so much clearer that we’re not the evil equivalent of them, we’re the defective b-team.”

“Sure you have SOME interests. Music, food?”

“He doesn’t like music, and he eats the same regiment of raw chicken and root vegetables 4 times a day, and a 24 pack of beer. Not even good beer, it’s that weird funky crap the Delmarians like.”

“Oh that shit’s horrible, and it’s 18 percent. I drank 3 of them at the cookout and was too trashed to function. The hell do you mean he doesn’t like music? Everyone likes music. He has to like SOME kind of music.”

“The only thing he likes is ‘ambient percussion’, it’s like construction noise. He has zero actual bands he likes. He only watches sports and news, he doesn’t like fictional movies or scary documentaries or fun girly shows, nothing movie-ish unless it’s realistic war movies. Vinn at least likes some of my music, we like the same games, the same shows, he doesn’t like horror movies, but we always found something in the middle. Hyde has no middle. It’s either what he likes, or he leaves and does what he likes elsewhere."

“You want me to change the music?”

“No, actually it’s kinda good. I can un-ironically can get with this.”

“Old Earth rap gets me fired up for working out. How does someone not like any music?”

“I know, right? It’s not…” She paused.

“Human?”Silverback smirked.

“Yea.” She said having a realization. “But neither is Hyde. I guess I really did just sort of adopt him like a lost dog thinking it would be like a rebound Vinn. Isn’t getting over someone easier when you find someone new?”

“Yea, but you gotta actually like the new person a little, and living with your…ex and your twin together doesn’t usually come into play.” He said as Jack strolled past and leaned to see who was in the weight room.

“You need the room?” Silverback asked.

“No, I’m just getting supplies. I didn’t know anyone was down here. I’m exhausted.” He said, grabbing some bottled water jugs, and dragging his feet as he left.

“That boy’s up to something Gizzy related. You can see that 80 pound lead drama on his shoulders.”

“How do you do it?” she asked.

“No idea, I sure couldn’t.”

“No, I mean with Dee? How do you handle knowing she sleeps with other guys?” she asked.

“Well for one I get to sleep with other women, and it’s usually a group activity. We have rules about it, we always okay it with the other first and usually as a team. It’s not as bad when everyone is on board, and I’ve been cheated on a lot in my life, been married once for 40 years.”

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

“Holy shit. I never knew you were married.”

“She died. Human girl. She just got old and health went downhill. That was 12 years ago. Took me 6 of those to even start dating again. Didn’t care much who or what after that, just anything to not be alone. Had a few bites, nothing serious, got cheated on by most of them. Then I met Dee, hit it off, ask her out. She said no. So I made an account and donated a grand to her onlyfans. Ask her out again…she changed her mind. Been together since.”

“Wow, Dee... super romantic.” she said with a dronelike grumble.

“It’s never been perfect, it just kinda worked most the time. Now we’re cooped up and can't go out, she spends all her time with her fans online because they’re cooped up too, and I’ve become a bit of an afterthought. This isolation shit goes on much longer, she’s not gonna stay with me when it’s done. I know it.”

“You don’t have much in common either, do you?”

“I’m an old construction geezer that likes rap and trucker coffee, and she’s an influencer something like one ninth my age or whatever, who likes sugar coffee shakes and girly musicals. We don’t have shit in common except we like to party, go out places, meet new people, and ride bikes for exercise. Can’t do any of that in here. I’m getting out of shape just sitting on my ass with no work or cardio. At this point I almost hope there’s a plumbing problem I can fix, just to be useful.”

“You have a lot to offer besides plumbing.” She sighed. “Dee just isn’t mart enough to see it. You’re classy, you’re funny, you care, you’re full of wise helpful advice and…”

“And an orange alien dad bod, and back problems, and my hair's gray as hell, and I sleep ten hours a day to have any energy to function.” He said with a smirk as Evee leaned forward and kissed him unexpectedly. He looked very confused. “What on Delmar are you doing, little lady?”

“I don’t know. I just…haven’t been with a human in like 3 years.”

“Technically, you never have.” He reminded.

“Oh noooooooo.” She whined. “You’re right. Every boyfriend I ever had was HER boyfriend, and I just have the memories of it. Son of a bitch, I got cloned new and lost my virginity to HYDE!?” she face-palmed. “My life sucks.” She said in a muffled manner.

“Come here.” He said giving her a hug.

"I miss my family, I miss my Vinn, I just miss my whole life." she sobbed.

“I have no idea what it’s like to be a clone, but lots of people I know are, and granted they don’t have their predecessor living their life, typically you die first, and then they clone you, and you just go back to that life. So you’re in one hell of a pickle and some uncharted briney waters here. BUT you’re not the defective one, you’re a real person worth just as much as her, who showed up second in the race to get home. It’s fucked up, but I don’t have a solution, just support. Hyde may not love you like Vinn, but we all still love you like a Nicole, so you’re in some weird shit, but not alone. We're your family too.” He said as she kissed him again. He signed and closed his eyes, shaking his head and holding her away gently.

“What?” she asked. “Not your type?”

“You know we can’t.

“Why, because my boyfriend will kill you?” she asked.

“No, not because of that. Fuck Hyde, That’s not the reason.”

“Exactly, fuck Hyde. So what is the reason? You and Dee can sleep with strangers on the weekend if it’s a team sport, but you can’t kiss a friend who’s hurting while Dee is leaving you alone and treating you like last year’s smartphone?”

“It’s just… not right.” He said. “Even if she stabs me in the heart on a daily basis, stabbing her in the back is beneath both of us.”

“What if I was wrong? What if I don’t have a Delmarian thing, and it was just that Vinn is special? What if I lost my soul mate to myself and all I can have is something else? Jack and Vicki are happy, and he’s like a brother to me. That leaves the Jackelope I can’t have Jackassalope I don’t want.” she whined.

“Exactly. You don’t even want me either, you just dont wanna be alone. I share that feeling. So let’s just not be alone. Talk, cry if you need to, vent, bench some weight, have a drink, that’s why I’m here. You need a friend right now and everyone but Melody is in a relationship, and you can’t talk to her, she’s too eager for gossip. Unless you wanna date Melody.”

“Why? Why can’t I have something more?”

“Because you’re stuck in a little bubble and you feel alone. You’re desperate for something real, and you can’t have what you want, so you’re trying to make something half-assed into something tolerable. Me.”

“What’s so wrong with being in a shitty place in life where you have nobody and everyone around you has somebody, and feeling like it’s not good enough? Why is wanting whatever I can get so wrong when it’s not even half of what everyone else has? I’m not in love with you, you’re not my usually type, this isn’t me delusional pretending you’re my prince charming and happily ever after is just a kiss away. This is me completely fucked over, left with nothing, reaching for something more than the one thing I can have, that’s just not enough. What’s so evil about it?”

“God you are stubborn and hard to argue with. Especially when you make sense and have a damn solid point. I’m flattered, I’m just…”

“Stuck in the delusion that Dee will stay with you when this is over? Clinging to false hope and being miserable because being miserable and unappreciated is somehow noble? Or are you just afraid what people will think about you? They don’t even care, they all have someone. Dee has her fans, the perfect couples have their dream partners, and Mel can have Hyde for all I care. The thing I loved most about Vinn wasn’t that he’s a furry giant, it’s that he’s a good person and he has a good heart. Explain to me why I don’t deserve someone who sees me as an equal, as a friend, who cares about me, and why you don’t deserve someone who knows you’re worth keeping? If Dee doesn't appreciate you, dump her. You’re allowed to stand up for yourself and say you want someone else. I'm not perfect, but I'm...like kinda cute.”

“Well…there is that part about your boyfriend killing me. Even if we broke up with both of them and Dee understood, Hyde sure won't.” Silverback noted.

“We have a Jack and a Vinn in this house that have both kicked his ass before, and A Gizzy he’s terrified of, on house call. You really think he’s gonna do more than get in your face and intimidate you? Talk a big shit and then pussy out?”

“You’re not trying to get me killed and cloned, are you?” he asked, half playfully.

“Add a dash of seamonster, you come back way stronger and slightly more evil.” She said, biting her lip and leaning in close to whisper in his ear. “And your sex drive gets increased, morality gets a little gray, and maybe you could keep up with us younger gals for a change…unless you…still got it in you already.” She winked. Getting up and slowly walking away, giving him plenty of time to follow. He rubbed his forhead and slumped down as if pondering it all.

“Whatever old gods are listening…if any…give me the strength to not be a dumbass.” He said in a little prayer. “Or give me the wisdom to know if I’m being one right now by sitting here by myself" he added.

Evee stood in the tunnel, staring at the tiny air holes in the steel door separating her from the bug-infested place she still somehow longed to explore. She inspected the lock, noticing it looked backwards from how it was last time, and she was one to notice the door. Jack approached her from behind like a ghost, waiting to see what she was doing.

“Jack, I can hear them moving in there.” She said darkly.

“There’s no way, that tunnel…” he started.

“Is cleared?” she asked, looking back coyly. "How would you know?"

“You shouldn’t be staring into that tunnel. I know you have a strange tendency to go in there when there’s danger looming in it.” he added.

“And you don’t?” she asked. “You don’t…hear the danger in there and somehow want to go play with it?” she asked, laying her cheek on the iron surface. “I can hear the bugs Jack. Why do they seem so far away? Why is the lock on differently, and why does Gizzy have you disappearing into the deck of cards like none of us will notice?”

“Please just don’t ask questions you don’t need to know. Please just don’t do anything unsafe and go in there. Promise me you won’t go into that tunnel?” he pleaded.

“Jack…can you promise ME you won’t go into that tunnel?” she asked. He stood there silently, thinking about his words and options.

“Don’t make me lose sleep wondering if I may wake up and lose a friend I promised to protect.” he sighed. "Don't do that to Vinn either. If you got hurt..."

“Jack, you act like I’m that same original Nicole that went foolishly looking for monsters in the dark. She’s dead Jack.” Evee said as her eyes turned black. “I’m the monster in the dark now. I may be the top of the food chain down there. You’re just a human with a gun. So what makes you think I’d be in more danger than you would in those tunnels? Should I be concerned about losing a friend, or do I have to make you promise to stay out too, because I may be the one rescuing YOU down there…in the dark where I can see, in the flooded rooms where I can breathe.” She said, looking down and bending casually to pick up on of the little cave spiders. She stared him in the eyes and letting it crawl slowly down her arm, up to the gate and into the gap. "I'm not quite human anymore. You need to understand that."

“Then let’s just promise together that neither of us will be stupid and go in there alone.” He said firmly.

“Sure. I promise.” She said with a dark tone. She opened the door to the mansion and stepped into the light as her eyes constricted to normal in the light. “Hope to see you soon, Jack. Bring your flashlight.” She whispered as she strutted into the basement, Jack following shortly behind and chewing on his confusion. He peered down the basement and locked eyes with Melody. She game him a little smile and moved along, just a little bit too much pause in her stare.