Toena

"Give me another one."

"But ma'am... You've gotten through 8 already. Our policy is to not allow more than 6 drinks." A man behind the counter says with a worried look. An oddly responsible rule for the dilapidated, crime-ridden town of Vou.

"I-'ll— hic- You wanna trie meh? I'l fukin kill ya!" I slam the counter with all my strength, going through and shattering the wood. I lose my balance and fall face forward, straight to the ground.

"HEY! Get this Shesuan drunkard out of here! Tie her up too, once she sobers up we're going to make her pay for this." The man quickly changes his attitude seeing me damage the property. “God... Fucking! Damn IT!" The man paces around and seethes.

"Money, money, money." As I hear two pairs of heavy feet approaching me from behind I reach into my utility belt and grab a pouch of coins. "You want money? Here it is! Now give me another DAMN DRINK!" I throw the entire pouch right at him.

"Fucking Shesuans... Let me count how much you have..." The man angrily murmurs as he unties the pouch and peeks inside. He slowly stops moving as his eyes open wide.

As the two bouncers grab me by my shoulders and feet and lifts me up the man suddenly waves his hand frantically. "Stop! Stop! Set her down right now! Don't let a single scratch on that lady!"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

The man feverishly repeatedly points to the coin pouch. "These are Doons, Doons!" He mouths to the bouncers.

"Oh shit." The men lower me down slowly and set me back up on a chair, next to the broken counter.

"That Shesuan must be some sort of foreign princess if she has this much in her pocket, if we even lay a finger on her we're dead men."

"Ha? What are you guys talking about? Bring me another damn drink already."

"On it! On it! And umm, would you like us to garnish with a canstasia puree? Will add a flowery and light depth of flavor to the drink."

"I don't see a damn drink in front of me!" I raise my arms up, threatening a second slam.

"It'll be there in a second!" The bartender turns around and begins filling up and pouring cups. From the corner of my eye I could see him slipping exactly 6 doons into his pocket. Even though I was black out drunk, I still had my observation skills, remaining semi-lucid while drinking was a skill I developed many years ago.

The bartender sets the drink in front of me, "I hope you like it, it's the most special liquor we have." I grab the handle and angrily down it in a single gulp, not even bothering to notice the flavor.

"Ah, I'm going to throw up." I stumble away from the counter and head for the door.

"Huh? Hey, wait, don't leave me with this!" The bartender runs up to me and places the pouch in my palm. Probably worried about stealing from supposed royalty.

"Thanks." I murmur as I drunkenly stagger through the door.

A man and a woman get up and follow me as I walk out through the door, I try my best to ignore the two of them. However, the two of them flank me from both sides.

"I have a knife, act natural." The man says in a low voice. They lean on me like they were helping a drunk friend out and guide me into an alleyway. I stare at the ground the entire time, unreactive to their actions.

A couple moments later I'm roughly shoved to the wall, the woman's hand groping around my belt. "If you do not resist, all of us will walk away quietly, and nobody needs to get hurt alright?" My hair falls into my eyes as I open my lips. "... I know you two." I murmur to myself.

The woman's name was Mia, and the man's name was Oili. The man was missing a hand, and the woman joined the army at a very young age and had no life skills other than fighting. The two met in the tavern, drinking their souls out and quickly became friends, then lovers. Both of them, without any serviceable traits, turned to a life of petty crime working hard to support each other in order to get their next meal on the table.

I grow nauseous as I recall all this information. What the hell happened to me? Why do I know this? Why do I know their entire fucking lives, and why can't I forget any of this?

I immediately heave as alcohol begins spurting out of my mouth, forming a pool of vomit under my feet.

"Augh, what the hell! That stuff got on my damn shoes." The woman backs away disgusted.

"Get. away... Get away. Get away! GETAWAY!" I begin screaming, agonizing memories pouring through my mind like a torrent. It was like my mind no longer belonged to me, being filled down with millions of foreign memories I never lived before. Memories of my own life being flooded away in a sea of people I’ve never met until I barely knew who I was.

And yet I knew exactly who all these people were.

As the alcohol begins to wear off, my mind begins returning back to me, to my dismay.

These are the memories of everyone who’s been hurt by the war I started.

"Oi, calm down, stop screaming." Mia draws her knife. I turn around and swing wildly at her, missing her by a mile. Almost instantly my head whips to the sky, as she sidesteps me easily and sends me to the stars with an uppercut. My vision flickers and I black out.

It's raining. I open my eyes to water dripping onto my face draining down from the roof shingles, bringing along soot and ash alongside with it. My hair was matted with soured vomit, leaving it clumped and sticky.

I stare into the sky, watching as the rain splatters against my body. My eyes wide open as free flowing raindrops splash and explode against my irises.

My head pounds, my chin feels stiff and sore. I motionlessly begin applying Sananku to the affected areas, quickly solving the hangover and the injury.

Finally, I reach out behind my back, digging through my belt, searching through my bag of coins.

...

I guess that's it then. For thirty years I had fought as a mercenary, taking the dirtiest of jobs, doing the most heinous acts, suffering through some of the worst pain, even slaying a king. All for the sake of money.

And now.

Even my once boundless wealth has abandoned me.

The clouds move across the sky as the rain stops, revealing the blinding sun behind the clouds.

I cover my eyes with my arms, casting a shadow over the midday sun beating down on my face. How am I going to pay for my drinks now? My only escape... The only way to blot out the memories.

I sigh. "I lost my money but not my skills." I murmur to myself. "Just... get used to it. You were never one to feel guilty about things." I continue murmuring.

But... How? It was a millenniums worth of memories, of blood, of agony, of despair. Millions of people, it was like I had experienced all their suffering as my own, all because I killed a man ten years ago.

The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

Yet... Why... Why?

Why have I not gone insane yet? No human should be capable of having this much stuff crammed into their brains, but right now, going insane would be a blessing rather than a curse.

A sour rancid smell fills my nostrils as the vomit begins baking under the sun, prompting me to get up off the ground.

I look back down to the human shaped shade of dry ground where rain never reached. I look back at the sun, observing its location in the sky.

Thirteen hours.

I gingerly touch my seks, wincing as thousands of memories of pain and blood flood my mind the instant I do. The unfortunate thing was that I had taken the memories of millions of people, and had therefore taken their fears as mine as well. The sound of whistling sounded like a storm of arrows. A hammer driving a nail into a plank sounded like a clash of swords, the wood of a ship, creaking as the boat rocked back and forth sounded like the creaks of shields as men and women collided.

I hold it up to my wrist, letting the blade rest against the vein.

Before I slowly smile.

All my money is gone huh?

The smile grows wider.

Finally, that means I can finally start living life unshackled by money, the way I wanted to all this time? Right? You’ve wondered what that reality would be like plenty of times before, and now. You are living it.

I whirl the blade around my hand, I need to get these jitters out of my skin, and shake off the crippled feeling.

In my memories, I've been beaten, I've been raped, I've been maimed, I've been murdered, all hundreds of thousands of times. If I can overcome this, fear and despair will be just a bygone memory to me, no longer existing within the ethos. I bring my sword up and begin to cut my vomit soaked hair off.

My way forward in the past was just to drink my sorrows away. Day after day, I go to the bar and forget, then once my money ran out, I kill myself.

But now that I'm here. I don't feel like it. That's just not the way to live up to my reputation.

One final contract, then I'll finally retire.

The reward is my life back.

And the target?

The masked boy, Taiga.

I will not just stop at killing a king.

I will kill a God.

My feet waltz through the streets of Vou, barging past people without a care in the world, getting stinky looks after stinky looks.

Laughter is coming out of waves right now. Why? Really why? It might be a sort of mania. Who knows. Who cares.

Somewhere near me a woman is bleeding out in an alleyway, too weak to utter a word, no one sparing as much of a glance to help her.

In another home, two young friends have stolen from one of their father-in-law’s hyacinth closet. No, not the colorful flower, the highly addictive hallucinogen that has taken more than a hundred thousand lives across the land in the past decade.

Excrement and trash line the streets, the water channel system long since clogged up and ill-maintained beyond any hope of repair. There are no doctors working here anymore. It was one of the few places on earth where disease has taken a foothold despite the ease at which most natural ailments are cured by Sananku.

“That’s her.” Somewhere a voice sounds.

A clutter of footsteps.

“Why don’t you come quietly with us? A Shesuan princess shouldn’t be out in this town alone.” One of the men leans in and whispers. “There are a lot of bad people here— Hey!”

”Oi! I’m trying to be polite here! If you aren’t going to cooperate then things are going to get a little nasty for you. I’m betting your father would pay a hefty sum for-“

…

“Alright, this place is known as the town of murderers and thieves for a reason, let’s bag her.” A sword is drawn, the distinctive sound of metal exiting the sheath.

I don’t know any of you.

“Hey, you two. I think you took something from me.” I step into an old decrepit building dripping with blood. The home of the couple who stole from me. If my memories are correct… This is where those two live, and this is the time at which they’re usually home together.

I get no response, but I can taste it. My pupils narrow like a cat. There’s sweat, a

distinct nervousness in the air. The two were in here, I didn’t know what room, but they were here.

“There’s no escaping, if you run away I’ll know where you are immediately, so what’s it going to be? Kindly give it back to me, and I’ll maybe even leave a couple for you!”

I sit down on the ground and bring out a small bag of candied nuts, popping one in my mouth and chewing loudly, cracking the nut between my teeth.

“I’m going to sit here for hours. After all, I can be a pretty spiteful person.”

Five minutes pass.

Ten minutes pass

Still not a hint of noise. I get up and meander a couple steps further into the house. “Right, I forgot. Don’t have all day. Sorry, no more mercy!” I say, contradicting my previous statement.

I whirl my sek around my hand a couple times, before gripping it tightly and plunging it into the ceiling.

A man screams. I tighten my grip as the blade goes through flesh and bone, I take out my other Sek and also plunge it into the ceiling. I let go of the two handles, letting them stay plunged into the ceiling and cross my arms and grab the seks. My forearm veins bulge as I put all my Anku into my arms. Finally, I whip the swords downwards in an arc. They rend through the ceiling in an X shape, destroying all the support beams and foundations.

The ceiling collapses as a body falls through to the first floor, the man’s calf bleeding profusely, his foot still hanging by a few fibers of flesh.

He screams and clutches his foot, before scrunching his eyes tightly with resolve. “MIA RUN! I’LL STALL HER!” He bites through the pain and yells.

“Very noble, saving the girl and sacrificing yourself. I’ll let her go.” I crouch down close to his ear.

“Though… just curious, she wouldn’t be carrying all my hard earned cash with her right now would she?” I say as I hear a window shatter upstairs. A figure jumps out the window and begins running.

“God… Damn it! Why!? You’re a damn princess, you could have all you want in the world, that’s nothing but chump change to you! But to us… That was our ticket to our new life.” Oili’s eyes begin to well up.

“Not sure where you heard that from. My name is Toena, I’m a mercenary, and right now, I’m pretty broke.” I lean close to his ear and whisper.

His eyes widen immediately as soon as I say this. “You’re… You’re— You’re that Shesuan who assassinated the king of Lyster.”

“Bingo!” I happily smile and lean closer.

“Now you have ten seconds to tell me where my money is before I run after your girlfriend and have her join you in the after-life. Just tell me the truth.”

He sharply exhales as soon as I say this.

“One…“

“Wait no, spare her please.” He begins to panic.

“Two…”

“Stop it! Stop! I’ll do anything!”

“Three…”

I hear the door open behind me.

“Here’s your money.” A woman’s voice from behind me says. She holds up the bag before me before scattering the coins all over the ground.

“What are you doing here?! I told you to run!” Oili yells as soon as he sees her.

“Sorry. I won’t let you die.” Mia says before brandishing a knife and holding it forward. “I might have a chance, you know, I was in the army for most of my life.”

“I like your atti-“ I begin saying smugly.

“Shut the fuck up.” Mia snarls at me before charging forward.

“Ah, to be young and stupid.” I gleam to myself before dragging the man to his feet and holding him out as a body shield. If you bit off some of your pride, this would have had a much different outcome.

The woman gasps and withdraws her knife; however, is unable to stop her momentum before colliding into Oili. The instant that happens, I bring up my sek and run both of them through, stuck together like a kebab.

I slowly take out the sek, letting them collapse to the floor together, blood pooling on the ground. I grab a rag off my belt and slowly wipe the blade off.

The two grab each other’s hands tightly and stare mournfully at each other before the light eventually fades from their eyes.

It was at that moment I felt a small piece of my soul tear. It was akin to killing two close friends I knew my entire life. No, even closer than that. I was privy to their most personal and darkest thoughts, every single aspect of their life. It was more like killing myself.

Yea, this makes things a bit harder. A wave of goosebumps runs through my body; however, I close my eyes and stave it off, driving what little empathy I hold into a corner. I harden my heart and pick up seven doons off the ground. There were plenty more strewn about, but whoever finds it finds it.

One for information on the mask, one for basic necessities like food and water, one for weapons, one for a horse, and the last three for whatever that may come up.

I walk out the door, taking one last glance at the bodies before closing it shut.

I lead my horse out of its stable and into the road, I was carrying almost fifty pounds on my back, full of food and water for the road, also attached to the offside of the mighty creature was a giant duffle bag, carrying shredders, daggers, oil, flint and steel, and whatever else I could find in this town, there are an awfully high amount of niche weapons here. There’s some chemicals for making both an obstructive gas and a poisonous gas in there as well.

I swing my leg over the saddle, hoisting myself onto the horse. The Iquen folk here were actually quite familiar with the mask, as one of their smuggling convoys was apparently taken down by someone fitting that exact description. After that, he was last seen on a path to Oliviand, a place I was permanently banned from.

I spur my horse to start moving.

Well, it’s not like that place is particularly hard to sneak into.