Why did brother have to be so talented and special in every way?
Why did he have to catch the attention of the higher ups?
Why did I have to be so pathetic?
Why did we have to encounter that masked man?
Why can't I bring myself to just die?
I huddle in the corner of my room. My tears have long dried up. There was nothing left inside me anymore, only hollowness. I don't remember the last time I've eaten or drank something, and I've grown hungry, unbearably hungry, and my lips are as dry as leather, and yet... I don't starve, nor die of thirst. Why? What's keeping my body from tipping over the edge?
And when I stare at the sharp jagged blade of glass that I had snatched a while ago. My body becomes paralyzed. Unable to commit and do the deed.
Someone knocks at my door; this always happens one time a day.
I ignore it. In fact, I don't even hear it. I just stay huddled in my little corner of the room. However, this time the knock comes again, and again, and again, and again. A loud cracking noise follows as the door is blown off its hinges. I stare the rubble, my eyes cracked open wide.
"Sorry about the rough introduction, but there was really no other way to get in touch with you." The voice was familiar, although I couldn't exactly remember where I heard it from. A group of three people enter the room. Two women and one man, they all seemed to be well beyond their prime, on the edge of becoming grandparents.
I take one look at them before lowering my head and resuming my fetal position.
"Hey are you sure about this? She's so young and her mental state is at the bottom of the barrel right now." One of the women said.
"Lei, there's only there was only one person that showed as much promise and talent other than her brother. It's a hurdle we're going to have to overcome; however, this will work out for the best in the long term."
Lei...
"But it's only been 2 months since the incident. I'm well aware of her potential. However, she needs much more time to recover."
"She's never going to recover on her own, without someone out there to guide her along the way."
"Lei, Roe, we've already damaged the house's property. We can't just turn back and walk out of the room anymore. Let's just explain everything to Polly and then let things go from there." The man interrupted the two arguing.
Roe...
I remember now... These were the same people that were interested in Actla when he was young. They were the ones who ultimately set Actla towards his path of becoming an Agate.
"Wha- what do you want with me?" I tried speaking, but my voice comes out raspy. My throat begins hurting from the strain of suddenly using muscles I haven't used in a long time.
The trio suddenly turn their heads to look at me.
“Are… are you okay? Can you speak?” Roe asked.
“What you want to do with me.”
“Nevermind that for now, let’s get you some food and water first, you look terri-“
“I SAID, WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME?!” I scream, instantly silencing their attempts at calming me.
They murmur among themselves.
“Polly… Listen to me and don’t panic.” The man said.
I stare at him with ragged eyes, dreading his next words.
“We would like you to succeed your brother.”
My face distorts and twist, my mouth creaks open in a silent agony, my breath comes out in waves.
I run through the heavy rain, wading through near ankle deep water. The biannual rainfall was today? How did I not remember this? The rain was scarce in the desert, but when it came, it came like the seas had begun flooding down from the heavens. Floods roar across the desert, giving the land and people much needed water. People set up hundreds of basins around town in preparation for this very day, in order to have an ample freshwater supply until the next rainfall.
I had ran away the instant I heard the words that I was going to have to take up Actla's mantle as an Agate without a second thought. I don't know if they're following me right now I never turned around and bothered to check. All I can hear is the harsh droning sound of the rain repeatedly hitting the ground hundreds of millions of times. My thick long hair, hadn't been cut in a very long time, drapes over my eyes, making it difficult to see. Blind, and my senses disoriented from the pounding rain, I stumble and trip over a rock, hitting the ground hard, flat on my face. As my nose starts bleeding I turn over and face the sky, blood running down my face as the rain stings my eyes. I open my mouth.
And then I scream.
I was screaming at no one in particular. Perhaps it was the three elders, perhaps it was Dundee, perhaps it was brother, perhaps it was the world itself, perhaps it was myself. I didn't know. It had been bubbling up inside me for a while and I had to let it out. I scream on and on and on. Until my voice could no longer come out as my vocal cords wear out.
I hear the roaring rush of a recently flooded river nearby. I lift myself off the ground with determination and begin hobbling towards a cliff. The second I look over the side, I feel it again. My body freezing up. I couldn't move any of my muscles in any direction. The raging river roaring near the bottom of this steep valley, if I could just take one more step. I strain my body as hard as I could, just barely able to fight against the paralysis, I steadily move my arm closer and closer to my head, bringing my hand closer to my mouth, I rest my middle finger on my teeth and then and chomp down the way too the bone.
The resulting agony gives me a sudden moment of clarity, allowing me to break and move freely. I move my foot one more step. Another step. I could no longer hear the rain, only my breathing and heartbeat, and I take the final step before plummeting over the edge. I close my eyes, everything finally over.
One heartbeat passes, two heartbeat pass. I open my eyes.
I stare at the ground dumbfounded. Wha- what just happened? I’m back at the edge!
I try moving forward once again, but my body was once again paralyzed. I hold my hand up and stare at my finger.
What the hell…
Nothing, no scar, no blood, nothing at all, it was perfectly fine, skin completely intact. As if I never bit into it.
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I bite my finger again, I feel the jolt of pain once again. I move myself and fall off into the raging river again, this time keeping my eyes open.
However, before I could see anything, the world distorts and puts me back on the cliffside.
"Why..."
I do everything again. I do everything again, and again and again, again, again, again, again.
"Don't screw with me." I grind my teeth as despair truly begins to set in. Can I not die?
"That's right, every action you take with the intent to die will be nullified." I turn around inch by inch, a fiery ball of rage quickly flaring up in my heart. I recognize that voice. Yes, the person who started it all. I roar like an animal and pounce on the apparition. However, I was alone, there was no one anywhere in sight.
"Where are you! Come out wherever you're hiding! I'll kill you God damn it! I'll kill you!"
"Unfortunately, my real self may no longer be in this world anymore." Dundee's voice echoed through my mind.
"Huh? Are you kidding me? Don't you dare run away." I said, seething.
For a moment I hear a moment of hesitation in his voice. "Do not seek revenge against me for your own good. You will never find any fulfillment in any way if you do."
"I will kill you." I said in response to his words.
"It can't happen." He said plainly.
"You're here right now right? That must mean that you have a mind, and that must mean that-"
"No, what you're listening to right now would amount to nothing more than a recording, like I said, the real me isn't here right now."
"Recording?" I asked confused at what that foreign sounding word was.
"Yes, there are worlds out there where you can store a period of time in a small box, and then you can observe that period of time through that box, that is what is known as a recording."
This man has said a lot of crazy things before, but just now had the pieces begun clicking together in my mind.
"You... who are you?"
"Me? I'm a traveler of sorts. One who can go from world to world, a drifter, if you will."
My mind works furiously. "Then does that mean..."
"Yes, like I said. I've already moved on from this world. It's impossible for you to take revenge."
I sit down, dizzy. "Then what am I supposed to do? I can't even die." I half-whimper in shock as the realization set in.
"I don't know. That's up for you to decide. It's what Actla asked me to do after all."
"What did you say?" I quickly stand up. "You said Actla wanted this to happen?"
"No, not exactly. Not in this way. Go back to that deserted town, and in the house where everything happened. There should be a note hidden in the ceiling, and there you will find Actla's final words."
And then, the deafening sound of silence. Silence under the roar of rain around me, silence inside my mind, and then silence within my soul.
Slowly but surely I realize that I had started walking somewhere. Where I was going? I didn’t know. Why I was doing this?
I don’t know.
Taiga
Polly takes a piece of paper from out of one of her many pockets, and holds it up between her fingers.
“Polly, I hope that when this note finds you. You will have become your own person. Otherwise, if anyone else finds this note, please deliver it to my sister Polly, only after she has grown up.” She begins reading the note.
“Polly, first and foremost I want to apologize for two things. One, for raising you up to become so dependent on my presence, and two for lying to you and abandoning you. I was not planning on traveling out of Shesu. No. I planned on letting myself be used by Dundee, and most likely, die.
Dundee is very special, he’s called a drifter. He has capabilities that no human in this world can replicate, but more importantly he can create change on a wide scale. Much more so than me, any of the other Agates, or anyone else in Rai. To give an explanation for it, he has both the ability to travel through worlds, and take power for himself. He has the power of both Anku and Tetsu, the power of the elements taken from our sister world, plus hundreds, if not thousands of other powers taken from various humans and creatures encountered on his travels. The problem is however, drifters cannot stay in one world for too long before getting rejected and forced out. In twenty hours since writing, Dundee will no longer exist in our world, and he will no longer be able to return. Unless, he creates a new drifter…” Polly’s words trail off.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing, let’s continue. Once the new drifter is created, Dundee will be able to return to this world.”
The second I hear this, the memory of that mysterious voice back when I nearly died returns to me. “Wait a second… could the voice be…” I murmured.
“Polly, does the note mention how Dundee is able to return?” I asked.
“No, all it says is that he will be able to return because of you, not how.” Polly says, flicking her eyes away from me for a millisecond.
I take a deep sigh, at least I can take solace in the fact that he has to be out there somewhere right now.
“Alright continuing on then….” Polly starts reading again. ”But to do that, Dundee has to take my anku, and transfer to the new drifter, and when my anku is taken, I will pass away.” Polly brings her arm up and points beside me. “So that mask of yours? My brother died to create that.” I turn my head in surprise to see that the mask had already made its rounds and mysteriously returned by my side.
I grab it and stuff it away behind my shirt. “But I still don’t understand, how did you know where and when I was going to pop up?”
“Do you remember what the purpose of this place was?” Polly asked me.
“The Eye is an isolated area for those wishing to grow stronger to train and achieve their goals.” I recited as Rudeus had told me.
“Well, wouldn’t that have been perfect for someone like me?” Polly said.
“Wait… are you saying we encountered each other by pure coincidence?”
“That seems to be the case, but with someone like Dundee involved, nothing is certain.” Polly stands up and stuff the paper back in her clothes. “Every time you put that mask on, remember what has happened to give you what you have. You thief.” She said, leaving me speechless as she disappears into the woods.
Polly
I take the letter out again and stare at the rest of the contents.
Polly. What a beautiful name, it means flower in the Onto system you know? Although there aren’t very many flowers in the desert.
Actla chuckles. Or at least, that’s what I imagined him doing when he wrote this.
Let’s have a little chat, one more time. Alright?
I nod my head.
First of all, how’s your day been?
Been going pretty bad, I would say
Have you found your purpose yet?
I thought I did, but… I’m not too sure anymore.
Maybe found a boy you like?
Nah.
Have you been eating well?
I try recalling the last time I ate something but come up blank. Guess I need to pay more attention to myself huh.
How’s mom and dad?
Still looking out for me in their own way I guess.
Have you found a friend yet?
If… If I had to call anyone my friend it would be Torika.
Let’s play a game.
I hold out my hand.
Rock!
I hold out a scissor.
Paper!
I hold out a paper.
Scissor!
I hold out a rock, and then clench my fist tightly.
Polly… Have you been happy lately?
I don’t respond.
If you can’t answer that question then,
Please don’t be mad at Dundee, please don’t be mad at whoever inherits my anku, please don’t be mad at yourself. If you need anyone to blame, blame me. I’m not the great faultless person you may think I am. I’m weak, I’m horrible, I’m a terrible older brother, but I love you Polly.
Remember when you stopped crying because I said I didn’t like it when you cried? This will be my final wish. Once I’m gone, smile, and then be happy. That’ll make me the happiest.
A drop of water drips onto the piece of paper, staining it. I quickly put it away and look to the sky, checking for rain, but there were no clouds in sight.
“Huh? Why is this happening?” I rub my eyes as I realized that what dropped onto the note wasn’t rain, I continue rubbing my cheeks trying to get the water off, and then I stop, and cry for the first time since brother died.