-Beast Pen - Dragon POV-
[Warning! Excessive mental suppression detected. Select. *Release Host* or *Release Memories*]
Within the hazy consciousness that was hard to maintain for too long, like falling on the ground and getting up, only to fall again, red letters appeared. Unsure when the text emerged, how my thoughts perceive it as red color or why my awareness is so muddy right now, I focused on it as if it were the only thing that matters and eventually realized what it meant.
*Release Host* Forcibly detach soul from the container, and enters the rebirth selection process. Automatically selected when brain or soul degradation reaches certain levels.
*Release Memories* Forcibly release all suppressed knowledge and increase awareness.
Memories... I can be me again, but who am I supposed to be? It's a little scary because it won't be like the isolated and hazy memories I've been gradually getting until now, but many year's worths pouring at once that will either alter my personality, erased by the human's or just get smarter. I don't know what's happening either, but I'm reaching my limit... can't hold on to my awareness much longer...I should let the future me take over before I'm unable to think anymore... RELEASE MEMORIES. I yell out in my cloudy mind, unsure of the consequences of forcing the past life's memories and the ones made until now.
[Warning! Excessive mental suppression detected. Selected *Release Memories*]
At first, it didn't feel like anything was happening since it had taken some time before my consciousness became lucid enough to recognize the flow of information making my mind increasingly complex, and the knowledge from two lifetimes assimilated into an orderly sequence of events. My awareness gradually increased until I was able to feel the torrent of information expanding like a network, and things began to connect with one another, like pieces of a puzzle where each memory linked to many others.
In my head, many ideas were exploding with an astonishing processing capability while the knowledge increased and expanded seemingly without limits until a form of saturation appeared, slowing down the process, turning into an overload that produced an unbearable headache. Having enough of the thumping sounds that my own beating heart was making inside my head, I suddenly raised it high while taking a deep breath with eyes closed and something felt rolling down my neck until it hit the base on my torso.
"GRUAAAAAAAA!" I Roared annoyed, and the discomforts that made it hard to concentrate subsided, including the headache from before, but a pain remained in my eyes and ears that caused shaking my head while blinking rapidly.
The short echo indicated close proximity to something and strained my eyes open, adjusting to the dim light until a big snout appeared in my vision then further ahead a smooth stone wall slightly illuminated by the light coming from behind that is also making a shadow with my body.
Scary, scary... I thought my head would explode... I affirmed feeling some relief in the quiet atmosphere that doesn't feel dangerous.
Ugh, my body... it's confusing as if I forgot how to use it... why? I focus on finding the related memories. No, those memories are still there, but they are not predominant... I must make sense of myself again, or I won't be able even to walk. I analyze the beast sensations being overwhelmed by the human.
I closed my eyes and concentrated on identifying all the signals flooding into my mind that conflicts with the sensations of my previous human body which are currently unnecessary.
I confirm with the memories of my younger dragon self to recognize the long flexible tail with its many joints being heavy like a human arm twice the average length. My hungry belly is pressing on the firm ground feeling its cold temperature transmit through the plates that should be the scales, four sprawled legs, and currently resting on the flat floor while curved to the right is a long flexible neck with many joints, but doesn't feel uncomfortable. The pair of muscular limbs on my back which appears to be the wings, have three joints each, and closed into small angles making an M-shape with one of the sides on my body. The hind legs are short with limited flexibility, unable to bend them to my back like humans legs, but are robust and muscular unlike the forelegs which have a little more mobility, but the hands are clumsy paws with claws.
Well, it was easy to ignore these uncomfortable things while being a young dragon because the numerous sensations from my human body were locked away, but now that I'm far more conscious of it with the changed perception.... I'm going to have to suppress anything that's irrelevant to dragons. Familiarizing with my dragon body for the second time in my life, I proceeded to inspect my head which has increased brain activity as consequence of a rewrite at a cellular level done by the celestial fragment.
Suppressed memories were like traffic lights stopping access to other connections, and it's the same feeling when trying to remember something that you know it's there, but can't reach it. Previously recalled random memories are in chronological order and improved in resolution, becoming more defined with their connections restored, allowing thoughts to flow smoothly without dead ends, unlike before.
Hmm... those random information that helped me in occasions was unclear as to when it happened or before what, and it wasn't important to know since it was just bits, but it would be very confusing thinking you had thirty years old in elementary school. I compare the experiences.
The simple thing as tying my shoelaces triggers all the streets walked to school, the knowledge learned there, and even the blond girl that sat next to me for a long time, Elizabeth.
She was the smartest person in high school, and probably the flattest when it comes to chest, but I thought those memories were lost already... I ponder about the long lost memories that were never recalled after finishing school.
Hold on... does this mean its possible to restore all the previously vague memories? A portion seems either suppressed or lost in the rewrite since my dragon brain proved to be insufficient to contain all the knowledge from daily life and what the internet poured into my head... though the porn was unnecessary. I conjecture while lamenting unneeded information made its way into my head.
However, just how much smaller than a human is the brain of a dragon my size? Probably not the size of an apple like dinosaurs since most of the knowledge was implanted inside my brain without liquefying or turning retard, and Big Red's intelligence tells me a dragon of a certain size could be smarter than a human. I realize there is an upside to having brain limitations as a young dragon when adulthood will provide more brain capacity.
The overview after the merge feels different, like jumping from early childhood to adulthood in one go, my emotions returned to human levels, and my perception changed, discarding the feeble viewpoint from before.
No wonder my first dragon-hood memories were buried for a moment, the new memories are too dense, containing the full package smells, sounds, images, and body sensations... I compare to before where anything recalled was partial information and blurry pictures.
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Well, it was inevitable since I lived almost thirty years as a human, but merely four months as a dragon. Still, the human memories probably feel so clear because they were just inserted and might degrade with time again... I assume memory degradation might take place in Dragon brains as well.
The information from the survival category and the ones unlocked while growing did help me make sound judgments, but the limit was when I thought that a single guard escorting a caravan would be weak and ignored the fact that a regular guy wouldn't try to punch a dragon.
Argh... That punch felt like a hammer to the head, cracking the scales before a 'Ting' sound appeared before I blacked out. It would appears, I have another younger self to slap when I'm able to time travel to the past. I affirm the younger self's mistakes as if it's another personality separate from mine.
Hold on a second...! What about my previous lives? They were younger selves that got ripped out of my soul but should still be out there somewhere. I WANT THEM BACK!! I affirm my desire to reclaim my old selves after experiencing a sudden memory download.
Guardian said the soul weakens when they take the portion containing the memories away, but how much would my awareness increase with the other lifetimes plus the original one back in one body? I imagine having all the soul pieces back while hoping they are stored somewhere.
The wolf lived ten years, draconian was probably in the hundreds since it was his wish to live long, then the hunter was probably a normal lifespan of a human and the snake guy was less than twenty... I realize the great amount of years worth of memories that belongs to me.
But wait, Guardian was inside my head before, and my knowledge should be easy for him to acquire, so why would they need to rip off my soul? I ponder on the possible useses my Soul could have.
Maybe they have implanted my pieces in other living creatures, and they are living their lives unaware just like I am in this dragon body with my previous life experiences. I doubt somebody is snacking on them and Guardian said the other method to help the soul was dividing it in pieces. There is also the search for certain information in them for, but I don't her think they get discarded after inspection and it's possible to get them back or at least info on their location. I recall the Fragment network.
Well, if I want them back, then whoever has what's mine will have to die, and I can use the celestial Fragment network to find out where they are once I'm strong enough. It shouldn't be difficult if it's like the internet, but I'm too weak even to feel the thing inside of me, or take down the thieves. I affirm the need to grow before pursuing my other selves.
This will take a long time, but I should be capable of achieving it with the imprinted memories from the Modern Earth that remains through rebirths and the right vessel to evolve with. I realize the endeavor would require either a long time or a lot of luck.
Ahh luck... why does thy elude me? Though I know my luck has been keeping me alive for eons now, or this situation would be a lot worse, but why couldn't it be a little better? I complain before leaving memory lane to confront whatever it is that's causing the uncomfortable feeling that I'm tired of ignoring.
Slowly opened my eyes, making the right side wall come into focus, perceiving its flatness as something human-made, then straighten my neck and pulled back my legs under my body to get up while staggering a little until I was firmly on all fours with the tail behind smacking around the enclosure.
Unlike the silence after my earlier roar, a pair of human voices from behind reach my ears, I flicker them around to follow the sound and turn my neck to the open space on the left, twisting my body with a C-posture inside the room similar to a small apartment bedroom until two people with worried looks appeared.
Let's see... It looks like I'm in jail and it's nightfall...maybe I was an evil dragon... haha as if humans need a reason to torment others. Still, this is my first time in jail, and I wonder if they'd keep a police record as an attempt to eat a cute demi-human kid, but I should worry more about myself since these people might be responsible for my new home. I analyze my captors well-behaving.
Standing behind sturdy bars as thick as human wrists is a black haired guy in his early thirties with shabby brown clothes, holding some cylindrical object, next to a younger pink-haired woman with dark skin holding a notepad, and wearing a well-made gold-color uniform.
If humans had this sense of smell they would be embarrassed near each other because I can tell the distinct scent of this woman's privates from here, and she has a sweet aroma overall, but that's probably the hunger talking. I never took a bath, so I can't criticize, but the intimidated guy needs to go to the bathroom soon since he doesn't take many and they haven't had supper yet, maybe I'm keeping them busy. I mock the guy after scrutinizing their smells.
I felt my neck heavier than I remember when moving closer to the two humans arguing outside my prison, and something slamming like waves in my head that is not wind.
I stop my advance close to the bars, then twist my neck around, to look at the black loop with dimensions resembling that of a Sport's motorcycle and notice the waves bothering me increase when getting my head closer to it.
They say the third time's the charm, but why does that apply to me on bad things only? The third encounter with people earned me a fancy collar around my neck that is similar to those which slaves wore inside their cages. I recall the slaves first encountered understanding why they were prisoners like me.
This thing seems to be a device capable of suppressing your thoughts to a certain extent, but appear to need time to work. I can't hear it, but feel it sending some kind of constant ultrasound frequency to the direction of my brain and over extended periods of time somebody could turn into a walking doll with this thing, unable to think for themselves, then all it would take is a little instruction. I analyze the workings of the device.
Luckily my long neck saved me here since the collar is little far from my head, so all I have to do is turn my neck to make the signal subside. I conclude feeling a little sore with a slight pain on the right side of my face where I received a human punch.
I started inspecting the sturdy square room that is smaller than my previous apartment but made of solid stone walls and roof compared to concrete when my vision began to turning reddish then wetness appeared in my nostrils.
My headache increased with the intensity of wider suppressing waves, which also became obvious to affect rebellious thoughts and blood started dripping down my nostrils onto the stone floor.
"GRAAH!" I shake my head writhing in pain from the uncomfortable signal wrecking havoc in my brain, but comfort doesn't come.
Fucking hell! Here I thought that this cozy room was just missing a computer, but they probably noticed the collar wasn't affecting me when I was moving around normally and desperately increased the signal. I assumed that humans would have it worse since the collars on their short neck would make their lives harder, but beast-size collars have much greater intensity huh? I realize the size probably has something to do with the signal strength.
Well, FUCK IT! Let's give up and die, then try again. Who knows, maybe my next parents will raise me correctly... Wait, is this the first time this happened? Have I...died in this world before? Could it be I'm stuck in a loop of rebirths because I'm not trying hard enough or get enslaved by humans every time I approach them? FUCK! If I had all my memories, I wouldn't have neared people until I was strong enough to annihilate them with a fire breath or something and there was no need to even leave the wild. I wonder how different things could have been should my full memories awaken in the wild instead.
I now remember weaving fishing nets with my grandpa and could have used them in traps to pull wolves up trees... I could have made traps lifting many rocks on trees to drop on the big snakes, or dig tunnels to lure since they can't strangle me inside, then collapse it. I consider ways to survive the stronger predators.
I always die with some regret, but maybe next time I can be reborn far from humans and have a better chance...unless I get eaten or killed by my family since my egg did take forever to hatch and that was probably because brain development took longer to accommodate my human soul. I decided to take the risk, considering my future in this place is even more uncertain.
I try to cause some damage while commit dragon suicide, and bite the collar making screeching sounds with my fangs, but that didn't cause more than a few scratches, so I lowered my neck to make the collar slide close to my head enduring the strong signals then started bashing it around.
*KANG...PENG!* With eyes closed and the black loop stuck on the bushy hairs behind my head, I whip my neck around, impacting the collar on the stone surface of the walls or the strong iron bars.