Hiro ran through his options presented by the strange pigeon merchant. The other birds around the merchant pecked and squawked while the man playing the harmonium kept his hand on a low, foreboding chord. Let’s see… Hiro thought. {Blinding Swarm} would allow him to distract opponents, Bleed was obviously awesome, but the lure of a One Hit Wonder skill was too much.
After all, who didn’t like a surprise, even if he didn’t know exactly what the power would do. It had to be good to be one-of-a-kind.
“One Hit Wonder. Let’s do that.” As soon as he said these words, the sounds of screams and shrieks filled the subway tunnel. The yelling continued, longer than it had been the last time Hiro had sacrificed followers.
Please! Please, no! Stop! Aaaaahhh! Noooo!
Hiro nearly jumped back at the sound of a firing squad, followed by what he was almost certain was a guillotine.
Noooo!
“Goddammit,” Valeria said through gritted teeth. “It’s even worse this time.”
Hiro was about to respond when the prompt appeared.
One Hit Wonder: {Trucks Volta}
Grade: S
Upgrade: N/A
Description: The streets of Kukkuṭārma ran with blood as the Indus Valley’s annual cock-fighting tournament took a turn for the worst.
The Harappan, noted for their insistence on pranayamic practices, fought the raging roosters and crackheaded chickens led by a particularly nasty rooster named Big De while a disstrimental from Metro Boomin played from the ancient James Bullough Lansing speakers that lined the streets.
As the Harappan lost the upper hand, they looked to a famed warrior and cockfighting champion named Truck-Kun to save the day. Truck-Kun built an eighteen-wheeler out of discarded chert in a single, meth and ketamine fueled night, which he raced down the narrow lanes of Kukkuṭārma, killing all of the rabid cocks and saving the day.
Use this skill to summon Truck-Kun’s mystical eighteen-wheeler to completely flatten your opponent.
“So I can summon an eighteen-wheeler to crush something?” Hiro asked.
“I’m still unpacking that description,” Valeria said. “But Truck-Kun. At least that part made sense. Sort of. God, I hope the Doom System doesn’t know about isekai. It’s hallucinating. We have to remember that,” she repeated under her breath. “Especially if it is linking the Indus Valley to Metro Boomin.”
Hiro turned to her. “Who is that exactly?”
“Metro Boomin? A beat maker, hip hop producer. And the Indus Valley is where yoga came from. Basically, an ancient civilization in what is now Pakistan. Or was Pakistan. There is no telling what the Doom System has done to Asia and I don’t want to know.” She returned her focus to the pigeon merchant. “If it’s still available, I’ll take that {Blinding Swarm} skill.”
The pigeon considered this for a moment as it cooed at its companions. “Yes,” it finally told her, “that will be fine. Are you ready to sacrifice your followers?”
“Let’s get this shit over with.” Valeria stuck her fingers in her ears as the screams and shrieks played out.
The description for her Roulette Skill appeared as well, Hiro able to read the bizarre text:
Roulette Skill: Blinding Swarm
Grade: B
Description: That which is above corresponds to that which is below. That which is below corresponds to that which is above. So goes the translation of the Emerald Tablet, which was rumored in 20th Century California to hold a cure for fillers and other silicone-related incidents.
If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.
Through dynamic work on the H5N1 virus, and a research study on adrenal fatigue, a Scandinavian social media power throuple was able to tap into the columba genome to create this skill, which will disrupt your opponents with several flocks of the most menacing pigeons the Bay Area, or any area, has ever seen.
Unleash them on your opponent and see what happens…
“Nice,” Valeria said. “The Doom System has lost its goddamn mind, which isn’t nice, and that description is proof. But I’m here for it. We got our birds, you got your truck-kun, and we’ve got the Bunny Twins to deal with. Thanks,” she told the pigeon merchant, who remained perched on the man’s head as he started playing his harmonium again.
“Don’t mention it,” the pigeon cooed. “And come back and visit me if you’re ever in the neighborhood.”
“Will do,” Hiro said as he set a {Beacon}.
****
The bait was the first thing Hiro noticed as they very carefully approached Bryant Park. There were more people now, most dead aside from a man and a lady next to him, who whimpered upon seeing Hiro and Valeria.
“Christ,” Valeria whispered, her crossbow at the ready. “Not exactly what I expected.”
The female teenager Hunters appeared on one of the park’s closest gazebos. She leaned forward curiously. Her bunny ears, which Hiro knew could morph into blades, flopped to the side.
“Awww. Our trap didn’t work,” she pouted.
“The fuck…?” Valeria shook her head as the other Twin Bunny crawled up behind her. Their health bars appeared, rimmed in gold, skulls over their heads indicating they were Hunters.
“I remember you,” the girl told Hiro with a giggle. “Mask-Boy has returned. You brought a girlfriend.”
The bunny’s male counterpart tilted his head slightly to her and whispered something to her.
“You’re right. This will be easy.”
“The fuck it will,” Valeria hissed.
Thunk!
She fired a bolt that struck the boy in the shoulder. It tossed him backward, his sword-ears flapping wildly. He hit the end of the gazebo and tumbled to the ground from there, landing near some of their human bait.
“Go!” Valeria shouted.
Hiro surged into action with {Blade Whirlwind}, his vape pen ready and loaded with a Poison cartridge.
The bunny girl met him in a matter of seconds as she leaped to the ground and bent forward, her scissor-like ears extending forward and razoring anything in their path.
The boy bunny appeared on the roof again and used his bladed ears as stilts to launch himself over Hiro. He landed directly in front of Valeria, who beat the boy’s long-eared advance back initially with her crossbow.
Hiro cast {Kore Nani Neko}, his demon cats scattering.
At the same time, Valeria used {Blinding Swarm} and summoned a flock of pigeons that soon engulfed the boy bunny.
Clank!
Hiro narrowly blocked an attempt from the bunny girl’s sharp ears. {Bounce} sent him to one of the gazebos, where he landed on the roof and bounced again to give him just a bit of distance as he continued pummeling her with long range attacks.
Her ears slapped together and they formed an enormous blade, which she sent forward like some dark, post-apocalyptic Mr. Fantastic.
“Hold still!” she barked.
Hiro jumped to dodge her attempt and landed on another gazebo just as a large oak tree came crashing down. He got out of the way of the trunk, yet he wasn’t able to avoid the other branches. He heard his phantom demon cats yowling as they finally reached the bunny girl.
{Lupine Shift}? Hiro thought as he glanced through the fray to Valeria.
Whoosh!
A wrecking ball appeared out of thin air and cratered the pavement directly in front of Valeria.
That’s her Roulette Skill? Hiro thought as the sheer power of what she had conjured reached him via a wave of energy filled with dust. “Shit!”
He jumped back as the bunny girl appeared, her ears separated again and clashing against one another as they propellered toward Hiro.
Hiro blocked the first several attempts but failed to account for another leather-clad bunny masked Hunter who had come onto the scene, a third opponent.
He would only get a glimpse of the muscled man, yet Hiro would never forget what it felt like for the blades to rush forward from behind and impale him through the back of his shoulders.
The blades lifted Hiro and slammed him onto the ground, everything going black until the world came back to him in a blinding flash of pain tinged in red.
Through sheer delirium, he managed to roll to the side and bring his vape pen to his lips.
Hiro’s final act of courage or madness, however it would be deemed, was to exhale a cloud of poison over his crippled form. The last thing Hiro would remember hearing was coughing, followed by the rush of feet and the twittering sound of razor sharp rabbit ear blades.