Hiro gritted his teeth as he watched the blue bar fill. He stood across from The Mad Butcher, the miniboss seething, his chainsaws whirring as what was left of his henchmen all pumped up and down like they were moving toward a mosh pit of the damned.
We need to take them out first. His eyes jumped to his health bar, which wasn’t looking so hot. Two more rounds, three if he was lucky, and Hiro would be done for.
He envisioned his next movement in his head.
As long as the blue bar was depleting, he could move. Once it started to fill, he would be frozen until the next round.
If I can time it right, I can try something with my gauze and throw my Buster Kunai at The Mad Butcher. Or…
“We need to focus on his goons first!” Samuel shouted as if he were reading Hiro’s mind.
“Agreed. I’m going to try something.”
“Don’t worry about your health, mate! If it gets any lower I have a way to protect you.”
“Thanks,” Hiro said as the next neared its starting point. “Still, I’ll try something!”
As soon as he was able, Hiro jammed his hand into his pocket and pulled out the gauze. He had stuffed it there earlier in preparation for whatever was to come, Hiro figuring that getting it from his backpack would prove difficult.
He was right.
But he was also faced with a new conundrum.
I’m not actually bleeding… no visible wounds… where do I put it? Hiro instinctively shoved the roll of gauze into his mouth. He drew his Buster Kunai, turned, and used what was left of his time to throw the weapon at one of The Mad Butcher’s henchmen, one being engaged by the remaining phantom demon cats.
Instakill!
Hiro’s eye’s jumped to Samuel, who was just finishing his own kill, which involved using the ends of his cape to decapitate one of the country clubbers.
Instakill!
Hiro panicked as he froze, gauze still in his mouth. His panic flashed to fear and then surprise as his health bar started to trickle up.
It’s working! And not a moment too soon, either.
The Mad Butcher barked out orders, his voice muffled by the plastic wrapped around his mouth as he descended upon Hiro and hit him with a brutal strike using both chainsaws. The country club henchmen followed this up with their pickle ball rackets, Hiro’s health bar taking quite the beating.
-67 HP! -49 HP! -8 HP! -12 HP! - 13 HP! - 7 HP!
Even so, the gauze in his mouth prevented his health bar from dipping past the halfway point.
Hiro also noticed something else as he waited for his time to start again. Blood now ran down The Mad Butcher’s chainsaws, and it wasn’t Hiro’s blood. The Bleed damage, even if Samuel had only struck him once, is doing its job!
“You good?” Samuel called over to him.
“I’m good!” Hiro said, his voice partially muffled by the gauze.
“Looks like that’s working. If you can take the bugger on your right, I’ll hit the one on the left and try to get another hit on the Mad Butcher.”
“Okay!”
Their time started again and Hiro drove his sword into the country club henchmen’s stomach.
-125 HP!
Critical hit!
He pulled his blade out and sent it in again with the time he had remaining, killing him.
Meanwhile, Samuel rushed forward in a blaze of cloaked movement. He decapitated the final remaining henchman and managed to get a small strike in on The Mad Butcher, which compounded the Bleed damage.
The Mad Butcher orchestrated a complete spin, his chainsaws hitting Hiro and Samuel.
Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
-49 HP! - 51 HP! - 38 HP1 - 53 HP!
The miniboss jumped back, and just at the moment that the Bleed damage caused his health bar to hit the halfway point, a transformation took place.
The plastic around The Mad Butcher’s face split open and the man released a cloud of green mist.
[The Mad Butcher is now ten percent stronger.]
[You have been infected with typhoid fever.]
Ah, fuck, Hiro thought as dizziness washed over him, his vision blurring. This was followed by an intense headache that felt as if a vice were tightening around his skull. Even though he was frozen, the blue bar slowly depleting, Hiro began to shiver.
“Ugghhh,” he lamented, gauze still shoved in his mouth as his stomach began to churn.
“Bloody typhoid fever?” Samuel gritted his teeth, his face a mask of pain. “Let’s give the fucker all we got!”
Hiro glanced at The Mad Butcher’s health bar. I could try {Blade Whirlwind}, but he’s close now, and if I move fast enough…
His eyes jumped to his Buster Kunai, which was now on the ground near one of the collapsed henchmen. He could see it in his head now, two strikes, jump toward his Roulette Weapon, and try to throw it at the Butcher in the allotted time.
He knew his marks. He instinctively knew where to move. He just needed to execute it.
Hiro ignored his pounding headache and his increasingly failing vision as he lunged forward, where he slashed at The Mad Butcher twice and threw himself to the side.
He hit the ground and tossed the Buster Kunai, which grazed across his opponents back as Samuel swooped in for an epic attack that saw him spinning wildly, hitting the Butcher with a number of rapidfire strikes.
He too hit the ground opposite Hiro as The Mad Butcher brought his whirring chainsaws to the ready.
Hiro could barely focus on the man’s health bar now, but did see that it was flashing.
The Mad Butcher turned to him, made like he was going to leap into the air only to throw his head back, cough blood, and fall to his knees.
His death rattle filled the cavernous space as he died: “You are marked…”
[A Revenant has fallen.]
Revenant? The fever went away in an instant and Hiro’s health bar disappeared. He spit out what was left of the quickly dissolving gauze and got to his feet as he received a litany of prompts.
You have new followers!
Level up!
Skill Level up!
Sword Proficiency, D-Rank > C-Rank
“We fucking did it!” Samuel cried as Hiro looked down at his katana. A black rune formed at the top of the handle.
Unique Item: {Rune of the Reverse Blade}
Rank: F
Type: Attack/Area of Effect
Upgrade: 0/10
Description: Eschew obfuscation. De-escalation through escalation. Collateral damage. Disappear for a month with these three concepts to become the most attractive man in the room. Embrace your masculinity, and control the masses through testosterone-fueled futsal! Citizens United!
Futsal’s origins date back to 1930, when Juan Carlos Ceraini created a version of indoor football for the YMCA of Montevideo, Uruguay.
Years later, Sam Smith-Johnson, a CIA operative embedded in nearby Las Piedras, used the sport to rapidly increase the testosterone levels of Uruguyans, creating a super soldier capable of obliterating South American drug cartels through a program known as the Crowdstrike International Futsal Update, or CIFU.
Just as it seemed like the CIA-back futsal super soldiers were going to put an end to the narcos for good, a narco who had trained in Iga, Japan survived a traumatic brain injury caused by a flying pair of cleats. The acquired savant syndrome that followed allowed him to invent a new, deadly way to hold his katana.
Activating this rune transforms your sword into a curved, scimitar-like blade to be held in an inverted grip, unleashing devastating backhand strikes.
Hiro’s surprise continued as he received a new One Hit Wonder.
One Hit Wonder: {GoFundMerc}
Grade: S
Upgrade: N/A
Description: Upon the completion of the Peach Garden Oath, Moo Deng spent sixteen years as part of the Sworn Brotherhood (jiebai, 结拜) cultivating an inner peace through psychic scaling systems (xīnlíng liànghuà xìtǒng, 心灵量化系统) to prevent the Dragon Fang clan of the Western Lands from opening a portal that would bring the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation back to life.
After drink yellow wine ((huangjiu, 黄酒), only to discover it was actually sectmate Jai’s piss, Moo Deng gave up his practice and hired a hitman by the name Ghost to kill his sectmate. A lot of shit happened after that, enough to fill several scrolls and act as a cautionary tale to countless generations as to why someone shouldn’t piss-prank a sectmate, not quite A Journey to the West and more of a cautionary tale about the woes of surprising someone with a golden shower.
The too-long-didn’t-read version is that Jai died at the hands of Ghost, the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation came back to life, and Moo Deng was fellated and then eaten by a necrotic succubi, where he was later reborn as a popular baby hippo.
GoFundMerc will allow you to summon the assassin named Ghost to kill any opponent you may have, from a Hunter to another Survivor. You will not gain any loot or Soul Essence for this kill.
“Shit, mate, looks like we got an assassin on speed dial,” Samuel said as he caught his breath.
Hiro’s phone buzzed.
“Mine is going off too,” Samuel said as he slipped his hand into his cloak.
Hiro got out of his phone and noticed the Doom System’s countdown timer was currently missing. Weird, he thought as he scanned the text from his Companion.
“Seriously?” Hiro looked up and found that Samuel had read the same message. It was in the Australian’s eyes, the way the man slowly brought his cloak around.
Hiro placed his hand on the hilt of his katana, ready to do battle.