Diary 8:

Before writing every diary, I always went back to the last one to see how my past self was doing. When I read the last diary, it seemed like I was tired and lazy. The words were cut and dry that didn't flow at all.

I would like to give my apologies to you whoever had to sit through my last diary. I admit that it was so far my worst one so far.

Now let me defend myself haha. I think the reason for my lack of motivation for the last diary was because of the exhaustion from us marching to the capital. We did have rests, but not much when compared to how much walking we did. I think we had to walk for seventeen hours with thirty-minute each for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and five and a half hours of sleep.

Now try to imagine you have to do that for ten days in a row and you will understand why my writing was so shitty.

This is not me trying to defend myself at all. I still acknowledge my bad quality diary. I just hope that you can understand me a bit. After all, I do exist and not just a character thought up by someone. There are days that I got a lot to tell and days that I simply just do nothing besides training with other soldiers.

Now back to our little story,

The next morning, I didn't want Long Dao to see Van Kiep go, so I woke Van Kiep early in the morning and walked her to the door.

"My prince, do I have to go?" Van Kiep asked.

"It is necessary for you to do so," I answered sadly.

"Then," she said and got something out of her pocket. "Last night, I prepared this little book for you. I hope this will be helpful."

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It was a small, brown, and thin book that could be easily hidden inside a pocket. I took the book from Van Kiep, curious about what's in it.

"What is this book about?" I asked Van Kiep.

"It contains some small spells for you to learn," she replied. "Although they don't do any damage, they are still very useful," Van Kiep explained.

"Sweet. Thank you Van Kiep," I was really happy. "Finally! Some magic for me to learn!" I thought excitedly.

Seeing me happy, Van Kiep sighed. Now she was more like a mother worrying about her son being alone. "I can not stop myself from worrying about you, my prince. I hope at least this can help have an easier time."

"This is the best gift you could ever give me!" I said happily.

Van Kiep looked at me dearly. I didn't notice her sad eyes until now when I sat down and reflected on what had happened.

"Then… I will go now," Van Kiep said and walked away, not waiting for me to respond.

At that moment, I realized what kind of a horrible person I was. I ran in front of Van Kiep and apologized, "I am sorry, Van Kiep, that you have to do what you don't want to."

"It is fine my prince. I will always wish to fulfill your order. That is my purpose in life," she smiled, but I can see that Van Kiep was not happy at all.

"If there is a way, I don't want you to leave me as well," I was sincere. "But…" I don't know what else to say.

"But because there is a war, I need to go and tell the king to stop it since you are safe now. I understand my prince, this is what needs to be done," hearing Van Kiep said words from my mouth made me couldn't control myself.

I quickly hugged Van Kiep, but I still don't know why I did that. I am not the kind of person that can easily have physical contact with someone.

"Van Kiep, when you finish telling my brother to stop the war, come back to me if that is what you still want. Don't worry if my brother keeps insisting on fighting even if you tell him that I am well alive because then it will be his fault for killing innocent lives. Come back to me and I will deal with him," It was the first time I worry about someone besides my parents.

"Why am I like this? This isn't even that much of a big deal, so why am I feeling so guilty right now?" I thought to myself back then.

We stayed hugging like that for quite a moment. Now that I think back, I didn't know I would have that much courage to hug a girl.

Van Kiep slowly pushed me away, her eyes looked better now, "Thank you, my prince, for thinking so much for me. Please don't be worried. I will be back before you know it," she said.

That was the first time I saw Van Kiep this way. She looked so… mature now, not a yandere or little girl anymore. She looked like… a woman. I don't know why, but at that moment, my heart split in two.

"Then, I have to go now before the general wakes up," Van Kiep said. She gave me a deep bowed and left without looking back at me.

With Van Kiep's back turning away, I just stood there and watched her walk away. Slowly, slowly, her back slowly got smaller and smaller, until all it was left was a small dot.

"What just happened? This isn't like I sent her to battle or anything. So why did I overreact so much? We didn't even know each other that much?" thoughts and questions kept flying around my head.

Even though Van Kiep can't be seen anymore, I just stood there without moving like a dead person, I knew that there is something definitely wrong with me.