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Vines

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The nameless being, whose entire person was covered in shadow and darkness even in the middle of the day, confronted the Babylon Sisters mightily.

“I will destroy you with my dark vine magic,” they said.

Apparently, too consumed by the battle, the Babylon Sisters did not actually hear them speak. Sad.

INSTEAD, THEY WHIPPED OUT THEIR FRICKIN’ HANDS.

AND BY HANDS I MEAN GIANT VINE SWORDS THAT WERE HAND-SHAPED!

OOPS THIS WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE IN ALL CAPS but no editing, no reviewing. That’s the policy to live by on Royal Road if you want to meet the voracious demand of posting every possible second.

They took out those gigantic vine-hands, jumped into the sky, and started daoing the ever-living SHIT out of the Babylon Sisters.

If you like cultivation battles, this is the chapter for you.

It was just kapow and boom and pow. So much cultivating going on and so many daos just being obliterated. The soul crystals shattered around everyone in as many dimensions as possible.

One of the Babylon sisters was even sort of damaged by this. But, just like Thanos in that one quote from Avengers Infinity War, she said, “All this for a drop of blood.”

Badass, and extremely demoralizing for poor nameless person here.

But they continued fighting nonetheless, just going ham on the Babylon Sisters.

From the sidelines, no longer fighting, Xi Lo Go and Wifey spoke to each other purely in expositional terms.

“Who is that person?” Xi Lo Go asked.

“That’s... I don’t know, not at all,” said Wifey (Nan Gua for those idiots who forgot her name). “That’s not a member of the Vine Brigade.”

“The Vininists, you mean?”

“Whatever.” Nan Guwife shook her masked head and peered into Xi Lo Go’s own mask, brand-new and cool like Tobi from Naruto (Obito Uchiha, spoiler alert!!!). “But the main, very important thing to know is that this person is extremely powerful. More powerful than any vinely I’ve ever seen.”

“How can you say that? Just by looking at them?”

“Of course! Look! They don’t just have a mask over their face. They have a mask over their entire identity, preventing us from learning even a morsel of information about them.”

“That’s... true. I was wondering why they were so incredibly dark.”

“It’s vine magic, but the dark kind.”

“Awesome.”

“NOT awesome. That means that someone else, some other faction of vinesters, may be at work here.”

“Shit.”

“I guess we’ll just have to keep watching this fight and not interrupt it so much with our words,” said Wifey.

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The battle continued with ferocious ferocity.

“I WILL DESTROY YOU!” screamed the nameless person whose all-body mask worked wonders at preventing us from discovering information about them except what I myself divulged in the previous chapter, even though I just copypasted material from a hundred-year-old book. “YOUR REIN OF TERROR ENDS NOW!”

“You mean reign, right?”

“NO! I mean rein! The metaphorical reins which you wield to control all of Wuweizi.”

“Oh, that sort of makes sense.”

“I WILL CRUSH YOU WITH BOTH OF MY HANDS!”

“You don’t need to say that.”

“...What?” the figure, for the first time ever, looked confused.

“Both.”

“Go on?”

“I'll be a little less obscure about this issue,” the Babylon Sister known as Koko said. (She had really big boobs while the other one was flat-chested.) “All normal people have two hands. One is designated as left, the other, right. It is not necessary or logical therefore to speak or refer to the number of hands a person has, unless there are more than two available, which your prose currently infers by default.”

“Well, I—“

But Koko the Babylon Sister was FAR from done, and continued, saying, “Nor is it logical in structure to reiterate a concept such as ‘put her right hand on the sword that she held in her hand.’. This is called repetition or recursion. You are noting that the person took the sword in hand, twice. - In the same sentence. Work on your logic flow, as actions should not be repetitive in prose unless they are done twice for a specific reason. I will note that this is not a minor quibble, but very central to the way people communicate with each other in speech.”

The cloaked, darkened, nameless figure sighed and took in an extremely deep breath.

They spake:

“I, that is to say me, the one who writes this post, a Vinal being of the genus Vitis amurensis on the planet Wuweizi (though it could be argued that this broad distinction would also not discard the trace amounts of chemical strands, known to Vinal beings of the genus Vitis on the planet Wuweizi (though one may refer to the point which I, that is to say me, the one who writes this post, a Vinal being of the genus Vitis amurensis on the planet Wuweizi (though one may refer to the point which the one writing this post is attempting to not discredit) is currently in the process of fluently articulating in a non-disorienting fashion)), shall deign to perhaps be a little more unobscure regarding the said topic at hand, which we have discussed, that is to say which you, the one who I am replying to, presumably a Vinal being of the genus Vitis amurensis on the planet Wuweizi (though it could be argued that this broad distinction would also not discard the trace amounts of chemical strands, known to Vinal beings of the genus Vitis amurensis on the planet Wuweizi (though one may refer to the point which I, that is to say me, the one who writes this post, a Vinal being of the genus Vitis amurensis on the planet Wuweizi (though one may refer to the point which the one writing this post is attempting to not discredit) is currently in the process of fluently articulating in a non-disorienting fashion)), though perhaps an extraterrestrial unknown to mankind, that is to say the entirety of the Vinal species, also known as the Vinal race. All those not labeled abnormal within the Vinal race, the entirety of the group of Vinal beings of the genus Vitis amurensis on the planet Wuweizi (though it could be argued that this broad distinction would also not discard the trace amounts of chemical strands, known to Vinal beings of the genus Vitis amurensis on the planet Wuweizi (though one may refer to the point which I, that is to say me, the one who speaks these words, a Vinal being of the genus Vitis amurensis on the planet Wuweizi (though one may refer to the point which the one writing this post is attempting to not discredit) is currently in the process of fluently articulating in a non-disorienting fashion)) do indeed most likely perhaps have exactly one more than one of the mobile appendages attached to the arm via the wrist join that one, that is to say a Vinal being of the genus Vitis amurensis on the planet Wuweizi (though it could be argued that this broad distinction would also not discard the trace amounts of chemical strands, known to Vinal beings of the genus Vitis amurensis on the planet Wuweizi (though one may refer to the point which I, that is to say me, the one who speaks these words, a Vinal being of the genus Vitis amurensis on the planet Wuweizi (though one may refer to the point which the one writing this post is attempting to not discredit) is currently in the process of fluently articulating in a non-disorienting fashion)) would call a hand.”

The Babylon Sisters were so disgusted they fled the battlefield immediately.

Before our two cultivating heroes could confront the mysterious figure, they left as well.

Then an explosion set off in the distance!!!!!!!

Wifey sniffed. “I can smell the blueberries,” she said. “Someone just assasinated Chicken Coop’s Vinelord!”

They needed to hurry.

They ran as far as they could towards the explosion, away from their original goal because apparently actually getting that macguffin was just never gonna happen in this story.

It was...

The California Raisins!!!!