Tsugi quickly pulled the book off the shelf and sat down across from Xeni.
"In order to p-perform magic, one has to h-have a very s-s-strong mental will." Tsugi read. "Es-s-specia-a-ally when first starting to learn, a c-calm mind is always b-best as it will allow the person to b-build their energy and f-form it into a-anything desirable and m-move it at will. Everyone n-n-naturally has energy around them, but o-o-only few are able to feel it, c-c-cultivate and use it. Everyone has their own k-k-kind of energy they can h-harness into magic af-f-f-finity, whether it be fire, water, w-wind or earth. Every person only p-p-possesses one type of energy."
Tsugi takes in a deep breath to try and calm his stutter and flips the page. "I-In order to find out what kind of m-magic to study and harness, you m-must first find out what k-k-kind of magic affinity you h-have. First, relax and s-second feel everything a-around you. The energy around y-you will feel like the e-e-element you possess. For ex-ex-ex-ample, if you have f-fire af-f-f-finity, it will feel like a warm b-blanket enveloping your b-body. If it's water it will feel like f-floating on water, wind will feel like you are f-flying and earth is a little more dif-f-ficult, but it's more based on your s-s-senses."
Tsugi sighed and clenched his eyes shut, frustrated at himself. He decided to just read to himself instead. ‘If you have earth, your senses would tend to be more heightened than most people. You would have noticed how you're able to smell things from a long distance away, or able to hear a drop of water deep in the forest.
People with fire and water affinities are best for offense, wind for defense and although earth can also be defense, they are best suited for healing. If you are unsure as to which route you want to take, you can focus on building up your magic affinity instead by imagining your aura as if it is a calm, still body of water. The more erratic it is, the harder it is to control, so try to calm it as if teaching it to be under control.’
"X-Xeni! You want to learn about herbs, maybe you c-c-could see what kind of..." Tsugi looked up and saw the book sitting open, but Xeni was nowhere in sight. "X-X-Xeni?"
Voices from outside the hall were getting closer. Tsugi quickly closed both books and carried them with him. He ran to the back of the shelves and hid in the dark behind the bookshelves. His heart was beating fast and his breath was loud. Slowly he closed his eyes and calmed himself down.
‘I must not be seen. Hide.’ His heart rate slowed. He exhales and slowly opens his eyes.
"The healer said he needed the book, 'Medicinal Herbs'." One voice said as they entered the library. Tsugi looks down at the books in his arms, that was the book that Xeni was reading.
"No! He said he needed 'Healing with Magic'." The other voice responded.
"Let's go back and ask really quick." They both closed the door and the receding footsteps disappeared down the hall.
Tsugi quickly returned the books to the shelf.
"You almost got caught." Xeni whispered from behind him.
"What are y-you talking about? You disap-p-peared, you just l-left me." He whispered back.
"No, I warned you first. I told you to hide, but you were so into reading your book that you didn't hear me."
"Well, I think th-that's enough for t-today, let's go before th-they come back. We will come b-back tomorrow night a-after working in the k-k-kitchen." Tsugi and Xeni carefully checked their surroundings before exiting the library and returned to their rooms.
When Tsugi returned to his room that night, he stood calmly in the middle of the room and slowed his breath, emptied his mind and calmed his heart. The world around him went silent, he felt all the hair on his body sticking up, almost like they were arms pulling away from his skin reaching out to grab something.
His body relaxes with another exhale, he imagined pulling the arms back into his body. One by one he pulls them in and holds them there as they struggle to stretch away. Slowly the pulling began to calm and smoothed, nothing pulled, or moved, everything felt still and calm. He felt nothing, no wind, no air, no heat...like he was stuck in endless darkness...yet he has never felt so at peace and fearless.
As if trying to hold down a raging dragon, sweat dripped off the tip of his nose and chin. His body ached as his muscles shook like he was holding up the castle. Tsugi exhaled his last bit of calm breath and collapsed to the floor, panting. His arms and legs shook as sweat drenched his whole body.
He swallowed saliva to soothe his dry throat and crawled over to his bed. Too weak to stand, he climbed onto it and rolled over onto this back.
‘Phew! That was harder than I thought.’ He thought to himself, staring blankly at the ceiling. He pondered on what kind of magic affinity he had. He didn't feel anything like the book had described, and he didn't have anyone to ask. Only after consoling himself that he will do more research the next night, did he finally drift off to sleep.
***
Since Sir Gorou and Sir Bjorn are on an expedition, Tsugi has had the luxury to train without the fear of repercussions. Tsugi continued to research for the next few days, but unfortunately he was not able to find anything about his energy, and started to get discouraged that maybe he didn't have any magic affinity after all. He wiped the thought from his mind, he was still hopeful that he would discover it one day, and continued to practice harnessing his energy whenever he had the chance. He had started trying to practice while he was working in the kitchen or when he was with Mare. He even tried practicing in the snow and in all different kinds of situations, but it was mainly at night that he was able to really focus.
In the following days, Mare taught him how to throw a weapon. She took him into the forest, where no one would be able to see, and scratched a target into a giant tree.
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"Try to hit it." She handed him the small ax and placed him two meters away.
"It's s-so close. It'll be t-too easy." Mare kept quiet and just waited. Tsugi lifted the ax and threw it. It hit the target spot on. "S-see?" He announced proudly.
"Go retrieve it." She ordered. Tsugi trudged over and pulled it out of the tree trunk and returned. "Now, hit the exact same spot." Tsugi raised the ax and threw it. It twirled through the air and hit the target, but he was off by ten centimeters. "Stay at that spot until you can hit dead center ten times in a row. Once you do, you may move back another meter." She picked up her ax and returned to the castle.
"T-t-ten times in a r-row?!" He yelled after her.
"Oh sorry, did I say ten? I meant fifteen!" She yelled back. "Oh, and be careful! Don't venture too far from there! This area is not in the castle grounds, so there could be monsters!"
Tsugi's mouth dropped. "Oh, yeah sure g-g-go! I'll be j-just fine by myself in this m-m-monster infested f-forest!" She didn't turn but waved a hand in the air. "Oh, and f-fifteen? Easy-p-peasy!"
"Oh yeah!" She screamed back. "Make it twenty then!" Even with her back turned, he was sure he could feel her laughing. Tsugi's mouth dropped and he let out a scowl.
Frustrated, he continued to practice. By the end of the day, the highest he was able to get was nine bullseyes in a row. Keeping his promise to Mare, he continued to work hard everyday, growing stronger as he ran through the forest to hunt for dinner, or carry buckets of water to the commoners in the village below the castle.
Every time Tsugi cooked, he would bring his portion of food and water to Yahni and the children.
"Thank you Young Master Tsugi, but I don't want you to get into trouble. We are fine, please don't bring any more."
"It's ok. I made these, s-so I get to take a little bit of the f-food that I make." He smiled brightly.
"Thank you." She gracefully accepted the food.
"Can we go play outside?" Ryna asked.
"Don't go too far."
"Yes! Come one Tsugi!" Ryna said. "Let's see who can climb the tree the fastest!" She darted out the door.
"Hey! No fair!" Tsugi and Ryno chased after her. She ran up to a tall tree and swiftly made it up the trunk like it was nothing. Tsugi stared in awe.
"How'd you d-do that?" Tsugi asked.
"That's cheating!" Ryno said, stomping his feet in the snow. "You can't use magic!"
"M-magic? You guys know how to u-use magic?!" Excitement rose in his voice.
"Yeah, mother taught us."
"Can you t-teach me? I've been reading a book on magic af-f-finity, but I couldn't really figure out how t-to do it."
"Yeah, let's go ask mother." Ryna jumped off the tree and landed gracefully. Tsugi is amazed by her abilities and follows her back into the house.
"Mommy?" Rygo said. "Tsugi wants to learn magic. Oh! And me too! Teach me too!"
"You might still be too young, but we can try it out." Yahni said. "Alright, take off your cloaks and come over here. Now, not everyone has magic affinity, so don't get upset if you don't have any."
"I've read about them in b-books, and tried to do what it said about cultiv-vating it, but I wasn't sure if I was doing it r-right or n-not."
"How did you feel when you were cultivating it?"
"I don't know. I didn't f-feel anything like the book said. There was no w-warmth, I didn't feel like I was flying, or f-floating. I don't even think I have very good s-senses. I'm pretty sure I felt something. I just don't know how to exp-plain it."
"Okay, well, let's take a look. It's best to practice with someone who can read your energy and tell you how it should feel." She rolled up her sleeves. "Who wants to go first?"
"Me, me, me!" Rygo said excitedly.
"Come sit in front of me." She patted the spot in front of her and Rygo sat down. She closed her eyes and placed her open palms on Rygo's back. Tsugi looked on as she took slow deep breaths. After a long while, she put her arms down. "Rygo, you don't seem to have any magic affinity."
"Aww." He hung his head.
"But it's okay." She reassured him. "You are still very young, so you probably just haven't cultivated them enough yet.
"Then I will work hard on cultivating it!" A smile of determination appeared on his face.
"Young Master Tsugi." She held an open hand inviting him to sit.
She placed her open palms on Tsugi's back, and he closed his eyes.
‘Please let me have magic affinity, please let me have magic affinity.’
He slowed his breathing and concentrated just like what he read. He felt a warm soothing sensation slowly coursing through his body, and then it stopped.
"Uh...you also don't have any magic affinity." Yahni quickly got up. "It's also getting late. You should start heading back, Young Master Tsugi."
"But...when will I be able to t-try again to see if my magic affinity d-d-developed or not?"
"I'm not sure. It varies with age. Maybe when you are around twelve?" She hurried him to the door. "You should hurry back. I wouldn't want you to get into trouble again."
"Uh...okay. I'll see you all n-next time!" He said as she closed the door.
‘Hmm. That was weird.’ He tilted his head in confusion and headed back to the castle and looked up into the indigo sky. ‘The sun is still up too. Oh, well. Maybe I will go do some more research on this magic thing.’
After continuous searching through stacks of books, Tsugi slumped into his chair. "Why can't I f-find anything?" Tsugi ruffled up his hair in frustration.
"Maybe you don't have any magic affinity." Xeni didn't lift her nose from her book.
"I know I felt s-something though."
"Maybe you just want it so bad that you think you felt something. Even the book and Yahni said that only few people can actually be able to use it. I know it sucks, but maybe you're just not that lucky."
Tsugi put his head down on the table with a thump. "You're right. I'm not that l-lucky." Disappointed, he got up and put his books away. "It's late, I'm g-g-going to bed first."
Tsugi lies awake in bed, pondering about what it could be. Is it possible that he just wasn't old enough to unlock his powers yet? Or was Xeni right, and he just didn't have any magic affinity?
In his mind, the latter seemed more plausible.