Triumphant music plays when footage returns to news desk. The camera zooms in to show Newscaster Ac and Newscaster Tc, the latter of which who is sitting where Rl originally was seating.
Tc: I am Newscaster Tc of the Apiary’s colony on Tir-Torzor, taking Newscaster Rl’s role for now. I thank all for watching.
Ac: Our guest is one of the playwrights, who brought us the hit all-human musical biography about one of Eas-Enerang’s greatest Overlord Council members, “Gx.”
Short flashy transition creates a split screen of Newscaster Tc, Newscaster Ac, and Playwright Hd.
Ac: Playwright Hd is with us now via broadcast from the place where Hd’s theater troupe works. Thanks for joining us.
Tc: Thanks for joining us.
Hd: Thanks for inviting me, and may I offer flattery to compliment the tiny bowtie and toupee I see?
Tc: I accept the offer. The toupee is a hundred percent natural German-English blend.
Ac: So Hd, the troupe is releasing its brand-new play called, “What A Crazy World,” which will be the first fictional comedy in the history of the Apiary, and it will be debuting in District 5. Satisfy our curiosities about this play?
Hd: Request accepted. “What A Crazy World” is a fictional comedy about an Anuh-Kaj explorer, discovering an island inhabited by a tribe of quarrelsome humans, the interactions among all parties, and how everyone learns to live in harmony.
Ac: Sounds fun.
Tc: How did the troupe come up with this idea?
Hd: We came up with this idea days after the death of Willie Egerton, and the subsequent clashes with the Apiary by Reservation Humans. We thought it would be the perfect foundation for the play, as it would lend pre-existing tension to act as the driving force behind the rage of the production’s human characters.
Tc: Any worry using such as a source for inspiration might risk helping to further the radical humanist agenda?
Hd: Such worries are of no concern. We believe that both sides were at fault for the ensuing chaos after Willie Egerton was killed. We feel the Cetaceans should be more polite, while the Humans should not have extreme outbursts over tragedies. If the Humans instead engaged in civil discourse, the human culture would be not looked down upon, and we believe this would be a step closer to understanding one another.
Ac: What makes the theater troupe feel as if humans deserve any further understanding?
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Hd: This indigenous race needs to be saved from a culture which, not just promotes mistreatment and self-sabotage, but also holds back the progress of the Apiary due to their growing refusal to work with us. The only way to progress the Apiary is if we attempt to treat all people under our rule equally, which we have not been doing well. Through this play, we want to show how we are not so different from each other on the inside, by trying to find flaws on both sides. By using levity to expose such flaws, we intend to form something that will develop a strong beneficial relationship between the races and help pacify the Human’s discontent occurring throughout the colony.
Ac: Tell us of your writing process to reach such a goal.
Hd: We needed a feeling for what would, not just appeal to our own race’s humor, but an idea of what appealed to the humor of humans. To get a general sense of what humans find funny, we watched archival footage of what they regarded as classic comedies in human culture. We had a good idea on what to do but we did run into some problems during writing.
Tc: How so?
Hd: As known, before “Gx” debuted, we first made news for hiring the first Reservation Human playwright in the history of the Apiary. Since our species has difficulty with fiction fabrication, we figured keeping the human playwright around, for the species’ inclination to fictionalize, would be perfect in helping us in the creative process. However, when we started working on “What A Crazy World,” the human playwright kept telling us the jokes we created were not funny and wanted to revise. We figured the Reservation Human playwright was not a good fit for comedy, since it felt the playwright was only trying to push an extremist human identity agenda, so we hired an assimilated human as a replacement. The assimilated human is much more of an agreeable colleague. All that is left now is to continue practicing the memorization of our lines and cues.
Tc: I am relieved the issue was dealt with early. I believe if the playwright position was kept by the unassimilated human, the implications of what the play might have become would have been disastrous.
Ac: Humans are so unreasonable. The theater troupe is so gracious in giving humans the chance to prove the species’ worth to the Apiary in such esteemed professions. The troupe could have instead left humanity to the usual fate of suffering in drudgery. I would never have such patience to do what you do for the humans, because so many expect handouts instead of working hard, like myself and other assimilated humans.
Brief silence.
Hd: I accept your unsolicited flattery.
Tc: That was Playwright Hd. Good day and thanks for meeting with us. It was an honor.
Ac: Good day and thanks for meeting with us. It was an honor.
Hd: Good day and thanks for inviting me. It was an honor.
Tc: When we return from another segment of brief messages, we look for the answer to the question, “Why do so many humans smell bad?” Here is a clip from one of my favorite parts in “Gx,” before we transition to the segment of brief messages. Stand by for more news.
Transition to clip of humans dressed in short shorts, crop tops, and wearing a prop that resembles multipurpose utility back harnesses, as they breakdance and rap to a hip-hop beat.
Performer(s):
Lead: I was born and raised on Eas-Enerang,
Others: (Repeat line in unison)
Lead: One in ten thousand eggs ain’t no thang,
Others: (Repeat line in unison)
Lead: To keep us warm and safe from attack,
Others: (Repeat line in unison)
Lead: Covered by adults to be born in a bivouac!
Others: We were say what?
Deep Voiced Vocalist: Born in a bivouac.
Others: Born in a bivouac!
(Turntable scratches)
Others: Born in a bivouac!
(Turntable scratches)
Others: Born, born, born in a bivouac!
- End of Recorded Segment -