"Ugh, dammit!" My anger and hunger roared in my ears, demanding more blood, but a surge of pain coming from my head forced my thoughts elsewhere.

The throbbing pain on my forehead cleared a fog, clouding my mind that I didn't even realize was there, and let me understand the scene I created.

9 torn apart or drained hawk corpses strewn about with me covered in their blood. I struggled to understand when I changed from a rational person to a ravenous berserker or even why. "Oh... Is it something to do with being a chimera now? I do remember doing something similar with the canaries."

Shaking off the question for now, I tried to get up but could only hiss in pain at the burning sensation in one of my legs. I moved my pants out of the way to see what was wrong with my leg. "How bad is it thissss."

I held back my urge to vomit at the sight of small chunks of my calf, which were torn out and dangling by a strand of meat, my own body's desperate attempt to keep together. It was a familiar sight of my spasming leg muscles, but it was just as disgusting to see my own body like this as it was last time.

I wasn't sure what I could do about it right now. It wasn't like there would be another convenient first aid kit for me to use this time. "Now I'll have a limp again... I-I hate this."

I could feel my adrenaline fade for what felt like the hundredth time today, and I couldn't stop myself from crying at the searing pain in my leg and how much my side was bruised. Even my right hand was still crystalline, pulsing purple with my heartbeat, and it was twitching painfully as I closed my hand. "I want to see you. Where are you?"

I curled up and wished my friend would pick me up and take me away from this place. That she would reach her hand out to me again.

She would protect me so I would have more than a 15-minute break without worrying about getting almost crushed to death again. "Please, find me..."

The dark room felt even darker and more threatening than before. I was scared, terrified of if this was what my life was going to be.

My mind started to spiral with my weakened body doing the same to my mind.

What was the lab going to do with me?

Why do they have to send assassins after me?

Will people like or hate me?

Will I never stop feeling this hunger?

In the midst of my self-doubt and fears, my mind recalled what my friend said to me after I took her hand. "If you focus so much on what you're afraid of, you'll never find what you love..."

It felt incredibly relevant to my current situation, and it echoed in my mind over and over like I was trying to force myself to think about what I love. What can I look forward to?

The hunger will get better, I know it will.

I'll get stronger and won't be hurt as much.

I'll see her her again if I look hard enough.

I'm a Saint now. I wanted to be this.

I can help people with this power. Why did I want to help people? So she would be proud of me? No, it was more than that.

I gathered my hopes and promised to stop crying until the fracture was over and got up.

It was hard to walk with one leg almost mutilated, but it wasn't my first time today walking with a limp.

Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

I glanced around at the 9 hawks I maimed or drained with mixed emotions, but I was sick of feeling conflicted, so I ignored my feelings and focused on improving my odds of living through this and that involved improving the time I can go without eating. Let's eat.

I slowly went around, trying to avoid hurting my leg more, and swallowed each of the marbles. The rest of them followed shortly after. My attempt to ignore my feelings was short-lived as half of me loved the repeating hits of relief.

While the other half of me was scared of how much more I wanted and made me doubt if I would be able to stop myself from trying people. Let's not think about that for now.

At number 5, my stomach groaned in protest at the amount I was ingesting before a feeling of expansion rose from my body and used the hawk I consumed as fuel for the process. I felt very comfortable with the change, and it didn't feel nearly as overbearing as the taste of fractals. That had to it improving right?

The process repeated for the next 4 hawks as well. It was strange to feel something expand inside me, but a lot of things have been happening to me, and this was one of the pleasant ones.

I was about to go upstairs when my pants fell apart, followed by my hoodie, leaving the belt as the the only thing in one piece. "...Really?"

I stared at my clothes hanging to the belt with confusion, but the stinging of my feet that were touching the sludge gave me a pretty clear sign of why it happened. I probably didn't notice it earlier because of the chaos. "I can't even rest because of this sludge."

I was about to groan at the annoying occurrence when a familiar ding sounded off in my head along with a glowing panel. I wondered why it didn't show up earlier

[Great work fending off the flock of Hive hawks! The compiled rewards are as follows! 40 Shop points, 2 T1 Equipment tickets.]

"There you are... You waited until I got everything in order." I was curious about how closely I was being watched, but I had feeling it was more than others. How did I even get the trial?

My eyes turned to the dagger at the mention of equipment, its blade was chipped all over and rusting with all the blood and sludge on it. It clearly wasn't intended for such a brutal fighting style that I used against the swarm and then dunked in something corrosive.

"Equipment tickets? I'll need those since I'm so prone to getting hurt and ruined this thing." I thought about whether or not to keep the blade. I hummed a bit before sheathing thing since it might be important to show someone.

"I'll rest upstairs since they said that they would wait outside. I'll get some actual armor or clothes then." I voiced my plan to myself, so the only thing I was hearing wasn't the pulsing noise coming from the wall of roots.

[Please do not inform others that you understand unnamed fractals unless you form a nondisclosure agreement with them as it could have terrible consequences!]

"Oh, great! An ominous warning." I wanted to be mad at how mysterious the text box was, but it did tell me something I wouldn't have known until it was too late. It's listening to what I'm saying...

I dismissed the panel and pushed myself to go up the stairs, almost dragging myself up by the handrails.

I couldn't help but wince when I slipped and put a bit too much pressure on my bad leg. I wonder if theirs a pain resistance skill.

I hoped I could get it if that existed.

I fantasized about not flinching at danger and reached the door to the 4th floor soon after.

I went to open the door with my crystal hand when it all of a sudden it felt like I dunked my hand in molten metal. "Kya!"

I cried out in pain, very caught off guard by how sudden it was, and held it in my other to reduce the pain, but it did little to help.

I could only watch as the crystals slowly receded into my skin, returning normal with a new symbol of a purple claw tattooed on the back of it. There's always something, isn't there? It feels...

My thoughts were abruptly stopped by the system screaming to life with numerous panels popping up with hundreds of lines of cryptic code I didn't understand and then disappearing.

My head throbbed as something imprinted itself to it, and another tattoo, this time of blue chains, appeared on my wrist.

A single panel emerged from the mess of others with text I understood, and I could feel my heart pound in my chest as I read through it. I can't just exist, can I?

[Additional Skill "Fractalization l" generated to rationalize unexpected phenomenon]

(Fractalization l)

Tap into the unstable power of the Saint's mortal enemy to enhance your right hand into a deadly weapon capable of turning the tide.

I would never suggest you should use this for the unknown side-effects it might cause, but this is a war, and you won't have a choice if you're about to die because your weapon broke.

This skill will improve with use, whether that is a good or bad thing we'll see together.