The last hour went by in a blur. I scrambled all the money in my wallet for a taxi to the hospital, and Chloe spent a long time talking to the doctor and nurses. Now, she is talking to her mother. Wanting to give her some privacy, I linger in the hallway, glancing in her direction every so often.
Chloe was already crying earlier in the day thanks to my mother, and now, she's crying even more for hers. I let out a frustrated sigh. Of course, the world has to do this to the sweetest girl ever.
When I peek over at Chloe, I notice Ms. Lee gesturing at me. I force out a small smile before jogging into the room.
"H- Hello, ma'am. H- How is you?" I stutter. Chloe needs to speak Mandarin Chinese to me more; I need to practice.
Despite her teary eyes, Chloe chuckles next to me—her first smile ever since we arrived. You know what? Maybe it isn't so bad that my Chinese speaking skills suck.
"I'm doing fine." Ms. Lee flashes me a big, genuine grin. "Thank you for coming, Ruijun."
"How, uh, happened?"
"I just fell. It's my own carelessness, don't worry about it."
"It's not your carelessness!" Chloe snaps, a pout forming on her lips. "It's your building's fault! All stairs need to have a visual contrast at the step! That's the bare minimum they should do for people!"
Ms. Lee shakes her head. "No need to do all that just for me."
"So many people have low vision, it's not just you. And it's hard for everyone to see at night. And how hard can it be? It's just painting the floors! Argh, I cannot stand these inaccessible buildings."
Sighing, Ms. Lee gives me a look that seems to say, There she goes again.
I reach out to give Chloe's hand a squeeze. "Everything... good now? No need for..." I trail off, not knowing how to say any medical terms in Chinese.
"Thankfully, there are no internal injuries," Chloe replies, but her frown intensifies. "But she fractured her left wrist."
"It's a small fracture," Ms. Lee dismisses. "And I'm right-handed, so this isn't a big issue."
"Of course it is! It's going to take weeks to heal, Māma!"
Chloe's hand is beginning to tremble, so I tighten my grip on it to calm her down.
Ms. Lee chooses to change the subject. "It's been so long since I've seen you, Ruijun. Do you want to stay over at our place for dinner later?"
Nodding, I am about to proclaim my excitement over her home-cooked food in broken Chinese when the doctor knocks on the door. Apparently, Ms. Lee needs one last check-up.
Chloe and I leave the room. The moment we step into the hallway, we collapse onto the chairs along the wall, exhausted and drained.
Chloe slumps her head on my shoulder.
"What a day, huh," I mutter in English, wrapping my arm around her.
"The worst."
I sigh. "How much was this?"
Her face falls with that question. She does not answer me. Instead, she laughs and says, "Is it bad that I wish I'd taken your mother's money now?"
I don't know what to say to that. It would be a good time to have tons of money to spare right now, but I do not want to go near my mother again.
"I could call Jon for help?" I offer.
"They've all helped enough lah." Chloe sits up, staring at her hands so intensely as if she was reading her palms. "RJ... I... I've thought about it."
"Oh? About what?"
"I want to try applying to schools overseas with you. I think it might be good for me to get out of this country and see something new. Even better if it's with you... Plus, my mother is very supportive of that. I think I'll try for a scholarship, and if I can't get it, I'll take a gap year to earn money to pay for it."
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My heart soars with this news. It's just leaving for university, but it feels as though she just agreed to elope with me. I grab her hand and entwine our fingers together. "I'll help you too."
Chloe gives me a small smile. "I'm gonna do everything I can, RJ, and you should do everything you can too, okay?"
"I will, of course I will."
"Then go back home."
My heart sinks back down to the pit of my stomach. "Chloe, I told you—"
"Go home lah, then go overseas for school, just like you've always wanted," Chloe continues. "I still want to be with you, RJ, but I don't want to do it while making your mother even angrier at me, and I don't want to do it while watching you struggle financially with me."
I close my eyes. "I can't, Chloe..."
I don't think she understands how controlling my mother is, how suffocating my family can be, how much I want to be with her—in public, proudly holding her hands, kissing her in front of everyone. I want to scream to the world how much I love her.
But deep down, I also know that if I don't get out of this country, there's a chance I won't be able to do that ever.
Chloe places her other hand on our entwined hands. "Let's make a pact."
My eyes pop open. "A pact?"
She nods. "I just... I just think it's going to be hard on both of us mah. My grades are terrible, and I don't have the money yet, but I don't want to drag you down. So let's make a pact instead lor. To promise we'll wait for each other. To promise we'll both work towards this, even if we can't be physically together. And this means you'll also have to do everything it takes to achieve this—including going back home."
"You're not dragging me down lah—"
"Two years." Chloe cuts me off, her expression as stern as her voice. "Let's have a pact for two years. Two years for us to end up in the same place. Two years for me to get my life together—my studies, my finances, everything." There is a slight pause before she adds, "And after that, if I still can't make it, then we can talk lor. Reconsider our... relationship. Reconsider if we still want to—or still can—be together. Just... two years lah."
Two years of waiting feels like a lifetime just thinking about it, but I am willing to wait more than a lifetime for Chloe. "Four."
Her eyes widen. "You're willing to commit that long?"
"Eight," I add. "I can keep increasing the number till infinity."
Chloe laughs and smacks my arm. "Don't be silly. Okay, three years, then. "
Three years.
My heart aches at the thought, but I understand why we have to do it. As Ms. Goh said to me, this might hurt at the start, but once I can be completely independent, life will be much better. Love will be much easier.
I nod. "Three years."
Then, I pull her in for a tight embrace.
---
I trudge back home at night, my heart as heavy as my footsteps. I want to quietly and secretly slip back to my room, but my mother, the fanatical workaholic, is working at the dining table.
"You're back earlier than I expected," she says.
I do not miss the smugness in her tone.
I want to ignore her, but she needs to know the truth. "Chloe told me to come back."
She raises her eyebrows. "She did? Smart girl. She understands the importance of listening to your mother."
Taking a deep breath to calm my growing rage, I march back to my room.
Three years.
We made a pact of three years, and I'll focus on that. I'll focus on not making Chloe worry, on helping her work off the bills, and on helping her improve her grades. I'll focus on my own studies, my tennis competitions, and my tutoring jobs. I'll work doubly hard for both of us.
Three years.
One more night, and the next, and the next. Three years.
I can get through this.
---
Mar 31, 2014, Monday.
I cannot believe my mother actually managed to change my class. This is not at all normal nor precedented. Everyone is assigned a class at the start of Junior College, and you stick with it until the end, unless you want to change the subjects you take for A levels. And yet my mother still managed to do it in the third month of my second year.
All my friends are shocked. Audrey even cried as I walked away to a different classroom, which was surprising.
Now, sitting in the unfamiliar room, everyone in my new class is staring at me and murmuring among themselves. I get these curious stares a lot in school, but I can usually ignore them when Jon is around.
I miss having him next to me in class. Argh, the rest of the school year is going to suck.
As if summoned by my mind, Jon appears at the door. The room falls silent as everyone watches him walk towards me, drop a letter at my table, wink, and leave.
Quickly, I tear open the envelope. It's a letter from Chloe. Seeing her handwriting, as cute and curvy as her body, makes me smile. That girl always knows how to make my life better.
"Hey RJ, sorry you had to switch classes. It's kinda my fault, your mother told me she doesn't want us hanging out in school. Too bad she can't stop me from going to your remedial lessons. ;)
"And she can't stop me from texting you or writing you letters either. Hehe, I've always loved writing letters. It feels so sweet, and you get to have a physical copy to hold and stuff. Write me back! Tell me all about your new class, okay? :)
"Also, Adrian told me that there are secret pockets in the campus that are very well-hidden and are perfect make-out spots for couples. I have no idea why he would know about this, but I don't mind giving it a shot. After school, meet me behind the third-level lecture hall, okay? ;)
"PS, I'm wearing the lingerie you bought."
My face heats up, and I cough into my hand to hide the big grin that is creeping up onto it. Folding the letter, I tuck it away. I'm going to find some time to write back.
The murmurs in the class are louder now. I can hear that people are talking about how Jon wrote the letter to me, and how romantic that was. How useful that people still think we're 'together'.
I cannot wait for school to be over.
I cannot wait to be with Chloe again.