(We zoom in on two figures going for a walk)
Husk: I’m Hungry
Falconer: Your always hungry
Husk: BUT STILL FOOD
Falconer: C’mon man we ate before we left, can you remember anything
Husk: Uh, Food, and I like blood
Falconer: Ok so this isn’t working
Husk: The city is quite nice know that all the free food is good food now.
Falconer: Uhh, Friends???
Husk: F O O D
Falconer: Nevermind
Husk: I smell something
(On the corner of a Plaza there is a dead body and a man investigating it, Husk immediately rushes over to it)
The Detective: Now my observations have concluded that…
Husk: FREE FOOD
The Detective: WHAT ArE YOU DOING TO MY EVIDENCE
Husk (Eating the Dead Body): Your evidence, My Lunch
The Detective: This is an investigation of a bunch of Murder cases, please do not interfere
Falconer: If this was a legitimate investigation how come your not with a partner or like, the police, or the Militia, or another one of the Century corps
The Detective: THIS IS A PRIVATE INVESTIGATION
Husk (Still eating): I dont care, free lunch
The Detective: Anyway… I should move on in my investigation, my deductions have concluded
Husk: Hmm If i follow you I can get more food
The Detective: THIS IS NOT A BUFFET YOU CANNIBAL, THIS IS A DELICATE INVESTIGATION
Falconer: Then I will come with Husk, and we can make it official
The Detective: F I N E
(The Detective, Husk and Falconer join your party, Begin District 27 ⅓ through, go around District 27 with the Detective deducing things until you get to a small crevice in between buildings)
The Detective: AHA, By Jove The Culprit used this as an escape route
Falconer: But it’s way too small for any sane man to fit through it
The Detective: WELL THIS CULPRIT OBVIOUSLY ISNT SANE THEN
Husk: As the Detective I claim that is this isn’t in fact a restaurant but, (Picks Up a small finger in the crevice), A Cupboard, and whoever made this food has been stashing it through out the area
The Detective: ????..... THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FOOD
Falconer: My pardon sir, My friend does in fact think he is a leech
The Detective: Then he is not well and should be treated immediately
Falconer: We tried that, I didn’t work
The Detective: Huh, WELL WHY IS HE STILL HERE
Husk: Can we focus on finging food
The Detective: Very Well then, (Pulls out Magnifying Glass)< Let;s follow the killer’s trail of blood
Husk: WHAT BLOOD
Falconer: It’s a metaphor
(Repeat the process until you get to a Catacombs entrance)
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The Detective: Hmm, Go down there
Husk: Anything to get more food
The Detective: Well please we musnt make any rash decisions
Falconer: Too late he already went down there
The Detective: GOOD GOLLY MOLLY WHY
(Begin Catacombs 12, look around for evidence, when you find a dishelved dead body)
Falconer: The killer did a number on that guy
Husk: He did expose the best bits though, (Begins eating his decaying liver)
The Detective: Please stop eating the evidence
Husk: Hmm…. Liver is tainted yess, smell like pipe.
The Detective: HOW DID YOU GET THAT FROM EATING HIS LIVER
Falconer: He once drank liquid lead
The Detective: what? Liquid Lead?? HOW DID HE EVEN SURVIVE
Falconer: I don’t know
Husk: That was lead, I thought it was sweat
Falconer: Huh
The Detective: ????
(Press Onward till you see a massive metal pipe)
Husk: This looks to be the place
Falconer: Weird how you know
The Detective: What if your wrong?? What if your JUST SOME CRIMINALLY INSANE MAN WITH NO BARRING ON REALITY
Husk: Please I know what I’m doing
The Detective: NO YOU DONT
Falconer: Hey man we know he’s crazy but the man’s nose is never wrong
The Detective: ????
(Climb up the Pipe into a warehouse, then)
Centennial Guard: HEY, CENTURY CORPS, LETS GET THEM
Husk: OH IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THE FREE FOOD
(Fight The Centennial Guards and when you win)
The Detective: God Im rusty
Centennial Guard 2: Uh, Im gonna split
Centennial Guard: COWARD
The Detective: Now, we will take caution in my interrogation now…
Husk: TELL ME WHERE THE CHEF IS
Falconer: There goes that idea
Centennial Guard: You mean my boss, I’ll never tell you
The Detective: Look we can do this the easy way or the…
(Husk rips off The Guard's arms)
The Detective: WHAT IN THE QUEEN’S NAME
Centennial: Guard UH uh uh, YOU WONT GET A WORD OUT OF ME
Falconer: Ok, have it your way
(Husk begins eating the left arm)
Falconer: Yikes, he’s eating through the bone
Centennial: I’LL NEVER GIVE UP HIS LOCATION
Husk: (Rips out small bone marrow piece), Hmm, I found a straw
The Detective: A straw, Oh n-
(Husk begins slurping his blood out of the freshly exposed insides)
Centennial: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
The Detective: MERE WORDS CANNOT CONTAIN HOW GROSS AND MORALLY WRONG THIS IS
Falconer: He seems to be enjoying himself.
Husk: Hmm, It’s so fresh
Centennial: PLEASE HE’S IN ANOTHER WAREHOUSE SOMEWHERE, PLEASE I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ELSE, PLEASE STOP THIS
Husk: No
(Screams can be heard for miles away as Husk continues, after you leave the warehouse)
Falconer: That was quite the performance
The Detective: ……….
Husk: I Haven't had a meal like that in ages
The Detective: This happened more then once
Falconer: Just ask General Graham Myer
(Investigate District 20, stop when you see a strange burn marks on a sign)
Husk: I cant eat that
The Detective: So, by jove this evidence means that he is located in the closed down Fireworks Warehouse in District 21
Husk: But i can’t eat it, Its worthless
Falconer: Huh, I guess we should go to the warehouse anyway
The Detective: OF COURSE WE SHOULD YOU BUMBLING IDIOTS, THAT'S WHERE THE DAMM CULPRIT IS
Husk: Alright, I’ll guess I’ll go
Falconer: Thats the spirit
(Head to the Warehouse about 3/4 through District 21 fighting off some rouge criminals and Centennials on the way there, go inside)
The Detective: Aha, By Jove we found you
High Centennial: Uh OH you found me, what are you going to do
Falconer: Uh, bring you to justic-
Husk: EEAT YOU
High Centennial: JUST TRY IT BITCH
The Detective: Here we go again with these ridiculous turn based battles
(Fight the High Centennial: when you win)
High Centennial: I’M MAKING A BREAK FOR IT
(He jumps out the window and they follow him into an Alleyway)
Falconer: You have no where else to run
High Centennial: Uhhh
(Suddenly The High Centennial is impaled that he accidentally ran into)
The Detective: I honestly did not expect that..
Falconer: WIth all your intuition I thought you would have seen that coming
The Detective: I BEG YOUR PARDON, THERE WAS JUST A SPIKE RIGHT THERE
Husk: Yum yum, I love food
(Later at the Guild)
Falconer: So like, yeah thats what I did today
Havana: I swear I went to college with this guy
Hymm: Yeah, your story is pretty farfetched, no way he just died?
Falconer: Says the Bard
Hymm: I AM NOT A FUCKING BARD YOU FUCKING FUCK YOU REALLY SUCK. I AM USER OF A MAGIC-
Havana: Harp
HYmm: IT IS NOT A FUCKING HARP, IT IS A SONIC STRING INSTURMENT GET IT RIGHT YOU FUCKERS
Falconer: Hehe ok
Hymm: Grrr..
Falconer: Speaking of today where is Husk
(Husk all of a sudden barges into their conversation, reeling in a Hospital bed)
Husk: I FINALLY GOT IN
Hymm: Oh no…………..
Falconer: Uh Is he on life support
Husk: He was
Havana: Uh, isn’t this an arrestable offense
Hymm: I think so, should we turn him in
Falconer: Nah I think the guy in the bed is alive
Hospital Patient: I AM?????
Everyone Around Him: (Hysterical Laughing)