What do you do when someone dies? Or what do you do when someone dies, and the person you are with is far from you, far from your touch? What do you do when you can't get close to them because you must stay in the back unless you want to cause a commotion?

I have a hood over my head as I watch a rather somber function – Irene standing behind a [Captain] that had apparently seen Plinius grow up to be a [Soldier], make [Corporal], and then [Sergeant]. But I didn't heed his words because I could not care less.

I only looked at Irene—wearing white, interestingly. She looks more like a bride about to walk to the altar than a woman suffering a devastating loss. Her countenance is proud, but her lips are stiff. She looks like she's about to be married off for some duty greater than herself, for something that would influence the entire country.

She kinda looks like a [Princess], I smile to myself.

I adjust the hood, glancing around. Some have noticed my presence, but it seems like my covering my head is a good enough sign that I'm here for no trouble, just to stay close to what's happening.

I look around and see none of my friends, just the actual [Princess] standing close to the casket, honoring the ceremony with her sheer presence. Next to her, there's the Matriarch of the Gens Valeria, Cornelia Valeria Novafamilia. Flaminia pointed her out for me and reminded me we’ve still got her outstanding order for the Day of Blooming.

Yet another fucking problem.

My gaze sweeps over rows upon rows, noticing that there's no one I know here.

Well, not no one.

I hear sobs coming from my side, and I gently put an arm across the shoulder of the pink-haired [Chef] who decided to come for a last goodbye.

I say nothing, though.

"All I really have to say about this man," the [Captain]'s voice straining, "is that his heart was always in the right place. He would have given his life for his men. To Plinius, the most loyal man I've ever met!" He takes out his weapon, an axe, and raises it above his head.

"Hear, Hear!" The crowd of [Soldiers] and military personnel responds.

The [General] close to Irene steps forward. They are speaking in order of importance—Irene is going last since she's the sister and the closest blood relative.

"Plinius, this boy—I'm [General] Aurelianus, for those who don't know me," the man with greyed hair says, "this man here, this kid… he was like a child to me. I followed him throughout his studies to become a [Captain]. You wouldn't believe how many times he failed his tactical exercises with his molded brain."

There was a round of sad chuckles.

"Plinius was strong, he was earnest… At first, I didn't believe he had what it takes to make it. I thought he was too soft, too ingenuous. But time and time again, the boy showed me there was a man inside him. He convinced me that one day, he would have taken my place…" The [General]'s words trail off for a second. "That he had what it took to become a [General].

"Never would I have imagined that some dog would poison my boy," the man's voice becomes harsher, "never in my entire life would I have imagined such a thing. I could just stand here and keep lauding [Captain] Plinius, but we've heard enough from those who knew him better than me. So, I can just say that whoever did this will pay. To [Captain] Plinius, the most promising [Captain] I've ever met!"

"Hear, Hear!" The crowd roars, perhaps enhanced by some subtle skill the [General] just used. I say this because I felt the pull myself and saw Flaminia raise her fist from the side.

Now, I see Anatholia rubbing Irene's arm and gesturing at the pulpit the [General] has just left. Fidatus, Irene’s oldest brother, is sitting in a semi-catatonic state, not fully understanding what's going on.

Irene takes her first steps forward, looking at the corpse of Plinius, and suddenly chokes. The entire audience falls into a heavy silence, where the only thing we can hear is Irene’s repressed sobs. I see the [General] stirring, uncertain whether he should step forward and help her out. But what I can tell you is that Irene is much stronger than what people give her credit for—that's why she suddenly breathes in deeply and stands up as straight as an arrow.

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"I miss you, Plinius," she says to the corpse in the rough Elven casket. "It wasn't easy raising you. It wasn't… I am not sure I did a perfect job with you. I am no [Carer]. But, even with a sister like me, you managed to learn to swing a sword in your free time while also helping out at the [Blacksmith]'s shop and getting more practice out of that."

Irene pauses, looking up.

I stare in awe at all the white she's wearing, picturing her as a bride, not a woman mourning. But then, an instinctive question arises from my guts: if she's a bride and that's an altar, why am I here? Why am I not there?

…

"You shouldn't worry," Flaminia says, blowing her nose into a pink piece of cloth. She just went to pay her respects to the open casket while I waited in the back. Now, we snuck out, waiting for Irene to get done with everything. It's clear that even now, outside the ceremony hall, my getting close to her would cause massive trouble.

Does that make me angry? Oh, yeah. I've been blistering with rage at this ridiculous thing from the get-go. But, on the other hand, the rage was mostly pointed at the stupidity—it was an instinctual reaction to being discriminated against. There wasn't much of it that was there because of what I was missing with Irene. If anything, I'm feeling relieved that I didn't have to be right beside her as this went down.

I mean, we've been together for a very short time, I tell myself. But also, how much casual dating can you do in a fantasy world before people actually expect you to get married?

"Shouldn't worry, you said?" I mumble to Flaminia, pointing back to the walls. "Irene said that I'll see her tomorrow, Flam."

"So?" She sniffed again, raising her head high to the sky, probably hoping the mucus would stop clogging her airways.

"It's… whatever."

"No, come on," Flaminia clears her throat multiple times. "What is it?"

"I don't know, ok? Fuck it. Let's just go back. I'm hungry."

"Joey, you're behaving weirdly," Flaminia says.

"We've just been to a funeral. My girl's dead brother's funeral. Where I had to stay in the back with my face covered to avoid these maniacs from trying to stab me in the back of my neck."

"Well, Clodia called for another meeting," Flaminia sighed. "We need to go anyway."

But as we walk through the lands south of Amorium, she keeps sneaking glances at me, which unnerves me beyond what I can describe with words.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing."

"Fucking hell—"

"Rotten roots, Joey," Flaminia suddenly bursts out. "What is it in your molded brain that you're not telling me?! It's driving me crazy!"

I spin on my feet, stopping and turning to Flaminia, a vein pulsating on my neck as I shout in her face, "I don't fucking know! And you know what else I don't fucking know?! I don't know who the fuck I am!"

"What?" Flaminia looks confused.

"Yeah," I lower my voice to a normal tone, "I look at what’s been happening, and I ask myself, what am I doing here? What is it that I do? Do I bake? Do I go into Dungeons for fun with a [Princess]? Or… do I learn magic and do magic tricks? Flam, I… don't know who the fuck I am."

My last words come out with a powerless shade to them as I feel frustration bubble up in my body but with no valve capable of releasing it.

"Who the fuck am I?" I ask Flaminia, who hasn't said a word in reply to my previous query. "Do you know? Because I don’t."

"You're…" Flaminia's words trail.

"Am I even Irene's boyfriend? What am I? I can't stay by her side; I can't show myself too much with her, or someone will mug me."

"Oh, on that note," Flaminia suddenly looks around and cringes. "Joey, I haven't told you this before because I didn't want you to make a scene."

"Huh?" I'm suddenly confused.

Flaminia gently hikes up the shirt she's wearing to show me her side, where I see a faded, reddish scar.

"What's that?" I frown.

"I… I was attacked yesterday."

I look back and forth between her eyes and the scar.

"Attacked?"

"I'm fine, as you can see. But yes, some rotten idiot shouted that I killed Plinius and knifed my side before running away—the Watch already has him, though!" She spits the last part much faster than the rest as she sees the expression on my face morphing.

I wasn't there. I—I forgot about Flaminia. I…

She was attacked when you were in the Dungeon, young Luciani. I can't reach anything from the outside world when we are down there. I made sure that she would be healed properly and checked on her myself. I didn't tell you because you are—

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" I shout, startling Flaminia and immediately regretting it. It was meant for Magister Mulligan, not her. "Damn it, sorry Flam. I—I'm sorry. I should have gotten you some [Bodyguards]. I'll talk to [Captain] Drusillus about this."

"Joey, please, don't. It's one lunatic. I don't want to be looking over my shoulder every day. It's not the first time someone’s attacked me in the street, anyway. Just the first time it happened with a blade."

I massage the bridge of my nose and nod slowly, "listen, let's just go to the bakery."

…

When we are in front of Aurora's Bakery, however, I look north of the building and then at Flaminia, who's about to enter.

"Tell Clodia I've got some business to take care of."

"What? Joey, where are you going?!"

"I need to do something! I'll be back!"

"Joey, Clodia said it's important! Very important!"

"This is important too!" I shout, by now breaking into a run toward a very specific place.

It doesn't take me long to get there as I ignore every other thought in my head, every other thing that has been said today, and everything that I've heard in the past two months.

I stop in front of a door, not even sweating after the run. I'm trained for much more than this. Especially when I'm not carrying a massive sword on my back. But as I raise my fist to knock, I feel my heart about to burst out of my chest.

Still, I rap on the door and wait.

Exactly the person I was looking for opened the door.

"Joey?" I hear a surprised tone.

"Hey, Lucinda. I need to talk to you."