Say what you want, but the 27/9 thing is wild. It implies there's a wholly different... cosmology? Is it cosmology? God, I was good at Physics, but not as much at the planet stuff. But they do have a wildly different planet if their days are twenty-seven hours long, right? Like, we are talking quadratic formulas and whatnot. It must be quite the difference. At the very least, it has to be a much bigger planet.

I yawn.

Yeah, I'm a bit tired. Two-dimensional jumps and two bakery shifts will do that to a poor guy. I guess I'm not exactly poor if the bread deal goes through, though. Well, I might buy myself some clothes later, then.

Now, I could go to sleep, or I could open the book and Khanacademy myself some magic.

"Well, book," I say, patting the big chonker, "how you doin'?"

As I speak, the thick tome shoots up into the air, one foot from my face.

‘An appropriate route to learning magic will be formulated shortly. Magister Mulligan enabled the homework function for his dear disciple by default. He also enabled the efficient homework punishment system: [Thunderbolt Curse] to be applied to the student.

For an instant, I feel an electric sensation through my veins. However, it goes away the next second, leaving me wondering if it even happened.

If homework is not completed, the student will suffer an electric shock as strong as the number of the remaining exercises. Beware! Have a healing potion on hand in case you’ve decided to slack off.’

Reading the warning at the paragraph's end, I feel like cursing. This book seems like the kind of thing that some adventurer nut would want to use for themselves. Or Asian parents on their kids. From tiger-mom to... tiger-book?

"Tell you what, how about you remove this curse, and I just go back to being a baker? You know, on second thought, I don't really need magic. I'm good. The cat got killed by going... somewhere. I don't remember the saying. So just remove this curse, okay? I’m just a baker, really—well, soon to be a [Baker], hopefully. And I'm sure there are tons of other, more suited candidates for the teachings of... Magister Mulligan?"

The book doesn’t react to my complaints.

Or so I thought.

A jolt of electricity courses through my entire body, making me spasm. I can’t even shout because my muscles are seizing up on the spot.

It lasts something like two seconds, but to me, it was more like two hours.

‘There is no complaining on the path to becoming an [Archmage].’

That’s the book’s response to my complaint.

The jolt didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would, but it’s still like being spanked hard all over your body. And not the kind of spanking that I would like.

‘Lesson 1: Use your natural Mana to create a [Light] spell.’

A veritable wall of text appears with finely distilled knowledge about what I need to do.

My eyes jump to the second page – yes, the instructions are two pages. Two big pages with small and wriggly instructions. In the end, there is something that stands out.

‘Description: even the stupidest [Mage] can cast [Light]. Even children learn how to do that. It doesn’t matter how humble your profession has been. Whether you are a [Sailor], a [Shopkeeper], or dumber even, a [Politician], it doesn’t matter. Your journey to greatness must start somewhere before you can slay terrible monsters and live the mightiest adventures!’

‘Requirement: learn how to produce an inferior [Light] in two days.’

“Two days?” I scratch the back of my head. “I don’t even know what Mana is, and you want me to—”

An electric shock seizes my body again, but this time it stings.

I fall on the bed face-first.

"Good God," I say to the blanket in an intimate whisper. "Oh, shoot."

I groan as every muscle in my body hurts, as if I had just run a marathon.

It seems this book is dead-set on making me an... [Archmage]? That's the improved version of a [Mage], right? Like a super-[Mage], I suppose. Whatever, listen, let's make the best of the worst: I can probably use some magic for baking more elaborate compositions.

The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

My eyes go to one of the first sentences written in the levitating book.

'Your journey to greatness must start somewhere...'

I don't get it. What's the obsession with becoming a great hero? Has no one ever watched superhero movies or read books? There's always some big trauma the hero has to go through and that they need to overcome, unless they wish to die.

Personally, I just want to overcome... nothing. I'm good. Really. I know, my life isn't perfect. But who cares? I already have a job, a cute girl to chase, and some money to live with.

Isn't that it? Why should I go around and wave around wooden sticks that make people catch on fire? Like, has no one really noticed how wands have phallic shapes? How come [Mages] don't wield orbs, huh? Isn't a boob-shape superior to a penis-shape?

Anyway, back to the magical instructions...

Wait, since we were talking about women...

“Book, do you have magic that lets women fall in love with you or that helps you get some—”

Another shock snatches up my flesh, this time even stronger than before.

While I fall and get a massive bruise on my forehead, new words appear on the page.

‘Mind Magic is strictly forbidden, and pursuing romantic relationships shouldn’t be on the mind of a future [Archmage], disciple. Focus on your magic! Magister Mulligan has added a gift for all his disciples' first-time leveling in the [Mage] class! Good luck!’

"I swear..."

I don't see any gifts at the moment. I suppose it'll come when I go to sleep.

Whatever.

I look over the page and read out the first set of instructions.

‘Mana is inside the body of every living being. Even children can cast [Light] with their low reserves of Mana.’

'We will cover several casting theories to expand your instruction. But mostly, when a [Mage] interacts with Mana, they apply the reductionist theory of magic. The reductionist theory consists of making spell matrixes that vary alongside the environment.'

'Do not be confused by the name, disciple of mine, the reductionist approach is all but reductionist. It's called such because of the empathetic approach—that's the casting of magic based purely on sensations. But said empathetic approach is very crude and hard to master in any meaningful way.'

'The reductionist approach is meant to simplify the chaotic nature of magic. You can imagine every spell in existence as something already existing in its chaotic, natural form. Spell matrixes are the equivalent of writing down the formula to find the circumference of a circle. The spell already exists in the same way the measure of the circumference does— however, you need the formula to learn the spell. That is, unless you are creating new matrixes yourself.'

'Spell matrixes, however, are something only the caster of the spell can see. This is because of the soul shroud. Unless you break someone's soul, it is impossible to see the kind of spell matrix they are tracing. Every living being has a natural shroud that is mostly unbreakable, following the standard reductionist framework. While [Soul Mages] might disagree, that is an occupation mostly entertained by cultists. Therefore, only an extremely advanced [Mage] should search the depths of Soul Magic. Before then, you can just ignore it. Just know that, as a rule of thumb, no one can see a spell matrix another [Mage] is casting.'

'Now, a soul shroud is your body's natural energy barrier in response to living. Experiments on the Undead have proven that, in theory, even those creatures have a soul. Even the mindless ones. Even the weakest zombie has a soul shroud, albeit a weak one.'

I stop reading for a second. Then, I go back to the last sentence.

"Oh, sure. Zombies. Obviously. How did I not think of that?"

I rub my face as I resume reading.

'The soul shroud is the reason why a [Mage] cannot cast a [Fireball] under your nose or inside your head. We will later delve into the details of soul shrouds. For now, just know that the generalities of it will be included in the next test.'

Ok, wait a second. Zombies, I can understand that. Tests? Is the book going to test me? As in, written test? Jesus. Is this a joke?

The book looks menacing as if it could read my mind.

I guess it's not a joke, then.

'The most common form of magic to practice for a novice is Light Magic. Every Cantrip is based on Light Magic for this exact reason. Light Magic is pure, beyond any other element. It suffers no interference from the surrounding environment and is essentially impossible to distort. So even though [Light Mages] are the target of much scorn, they wield the most fundamental version of magic. They are purists, really. Sure, we can argue that a [Fireball] will most likely win against any [Lightball]...'

'However, disciple of mine, do not underestimate any kind of magic. Whatever you will ultimately embrace, no magic is inherently superior to the other. The greatest difference comes in how the wielder utilizes it.'

'Now, you should take a break before practicing.'

After reading that, I see a small light, like a liquid distillate of magic, rising from where the book's pages join and levitating toward me. As it touches my chest, I feel a refreshing sensation. My ribcage glows for a second, but then, it dies down as if nothing happened.

"Ok, I'll take a break," I say, yawning.

Everything I just read was a bit overwhelming, and I need to catch a shut-eye. Not only am I tired, but it will take some time before I get accustomed to the 27/9 thingy.

Also, I'm a bit pumped for my [Baker] class. Flaminia and Raissa both said it's essentially guaranteed that I will get it with all the work I've done.

Considering all the man-hours I worked back on Earth and my great expertise, I can just imagine how many levels I'll gain. Hell, I will soon reach a higher level than Flaminia if all goes well. When it comes to baking, I pull all the stops. I can't wait to bake magical cakes and whatnot. I can just imagine what wonderful effects my magical baking will have on people. And sure, being a [Mage] might be cool and all, but a [Magical Baker]? How about that?

Tell me, how do you think anyone can do better than that? Maybe I'll get to make foods that make people more powerful or some stuff like that. Or, tell you what—foods that make people happier!!! BOOM, BABY!

As the book closes itself and rests on the table, I lie down and close my eyes. I'm so goddamn pumped.

I just failed to consider one thing.

Lady Luck.

[Mage Class Acquired!]

[Mage – Level 1!]

[Skill – Advanced Mana Sense Acquired!]

Ok, that's cool. They come with a sort of a 'ding' in my head.

Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

Now...

Where's my [Magical Baker] class?!

Hello?

Hellooooooo?