This is a predicament that I saw coming for a while now. I had already thought over the scenario of being asked to attend the ritual as an audience member before, but in my head I was able to make a logical argument of how I wouldn’t be in any danger as well as being there for Vimna’s sake. Now that it’s happening in real life I was not able to get past the memories of that night two months ago when I was face to face with the unknowable power of that thing in the mirror. Every breath hitched in my throat, my head began to hurt, and my body shivered spastically. Could I even manage going there if this was my reaction?

I looked to Vimna expecting to see her looking up at me with those innocent eyes wondering what was wrong, but instead she was looking away with a look of guilt and shame.

“I’m sorry, shouldn’t asked that. I…nevermind, not mean make upset.”

Wait, don’t go! I managed to put a hand on her arm before she tried to get up, her eyes avoiding me persistently. Just give me a minute, I need to put everything in my mind back where it should be. I picked up my slate and began writing, but everything just became a sort of blur as my thoughts drowned out what was going on around me.

Rationalize Kayrux, lock everything down and push through it. Vimna needs you to be there for her, and if you’re not there then she’ll only have her parents if things go wrong. Dobo and Gyloa can’t possibly hope to drag their kids home if they can’t walk on their own, as even their smallest son Tog is twice as big as his mother. You can ask your brothers if they would be able to join you as well, but they might have a reaction similar to yours. Juaki could probably do it, but that would require me to have a sit down chat about how her bravado had messed up my emotional stability.

That’s a problem that can be overcome later, Vimna takes priority right now. Look at her, hiding her face behind her hands so I can’t see how close to panicking she is: you need to give her some sort of reassurance Kayrux. I looked down to my slate at the words I had been absently writing, and despite them not being perfect they were just what I would say if my voice worked. Our elbows met as I scooted closer to her, my arm wrapping around her shoulders as I handed her my thoughts.

“Don’t be sorry. I need to come to terms with my fears on my own terms, but tomorrow I swear I will be there right alongside your family waiting for you. You and your siblings will be fine, and we’ll all meet up afterwards and go back to your house. Everything will be alright. I promise.”

Vimna wiped the words away and drew a smiling kobold that shared the shape of her head. She looked back up to me with red in her eyes, but overall it seemed as though I’d set her at ease. I did promise to protect her no matter what, so I need to be prepared to do whatever it takes for that. The elders, the praetorians, the dragon: I’d fight my way through all of them if anything happened to Vimna or her siblings. I felt my magic source flare as the swelling sense or righteous anger rose to its peak, then settle down as I exhaled that feeling for now.

The whistle that told of the end of the day cried out from across the workshop, but I didn’t bother to get up. Vimna’s head jerked to look over in the direction of the doors as she talked almost to herself while getting to her feet.

“It’s gonna be fine. Kayrux and dad will be there, and all my brothers and sisters too. I’ll see you tomorrow Roo. I love you.”

That was the first time she had said my name properly, and it genuinely felt wrong hearing it from her. Still, she seemed to have a spark of indignant fire in her just like me so perhaps she might just push through any obstacles she might find on her own. I knew she could, she just needed a little push in the right direction and some emotional support. Alright Vynrashu, hurry up and get your scaly butt over here so we can get this last thing of the workshop over with.

I didn’t have to wait for long as the line of departing workers quickly filed through the doors leaving just the boss man by himself at the wheelbarrow. He grabbed hold of a sack of coins and sauntered over to my lab, his false arrogance shining like a dull headlamp in the dim workshop. He stopped just at the entrance and waited for me to get up, but I didn’t want to bother conversing with him right now. Come one dude, you know you owe me a real appology.

Vynrashu finally had his eureka moment right before he checked behind and above him for any observers. He stepped inside and stopped just a few feet from me, his hammer clinking softly as he set it aside so he could squat down to my level.

“Hey Kayrux. You uh, going to get up and get your pay? Um…I don’t want to say this outside of my office but…I’m sorry. You know what for and why I did it, so let’s not dig too deep into details right now. Just know that I didn’t mean to say that you’re any lesser for not being able to speak. That was an awful thing to say, even if it was an act.”

You sound sincere, so I can give you a pass this once. Still mad at you by the way, but at least now I can start to calm down about it. I pushed myself up to my feet with only the spring-like power of my tail and legs, and before my boss could push himself up to his full height I extended a hand to help him straighten up. He accepted the gesture and allowed me to help him up, and once he was at his full height he plucked the sack of coins from his bag and handed it to me.

“Regular pay, invention addition, plus the revenue from a few of your drills being sold to the armory maintenance team. Turns out they like the tool for fixing up armor and shields just as much as we like de-mounting panels and plates. Should be around a hundred and ten Draks in there. If that nice shiny hammer on your improved bag strap is any indication, you’re going to be spending it pretty soon on making things even crazier around here. Good, keep it up.”

He glanced around the workshop again, his eyes settling on the open doorway for a moment as he nervously shuffled back to his hammer. His emotional mask slipped back on as he strode towards the wheelbarrow across the workshop. His voice echoed on the walls as he called back over his shoulder.

“Get home now Kayrux, we’ll be seeing you the week after next!”

Yeah boss, you can count on me to revolutionize this place. It was a little odd that he didn’t ask me what I had been working on, but I guess taking the saw earlier this week had sated his curiosity and my quota. I flared my mana to get Tim to follow me as I shut the doors to the lab, all of my important things either locked in the vault or at my hip. I felt a bit more confident leaving work on my own with a solid steel hammer on my hip, and a lot more when both Bahruk and Mibata met me at the elevator platform.

We arrived home to find Humey and mom working together to make some kind of rich brothy stew made from monster parts, the sight of which made the human part of my brain gag and the kobold part recognize it as good food. Needless to say, with how damn good of a cook Humey is becoming he was able to turn even the strange assortment of eldritch creature bits into something I’d pay lots of money for. We all sat together in the family dining pit when we ate, and even after the bowls were empty and the bellies full we all stayed there to tell each other about our week apart. Bahruk, Tokols and I went first about how the workshop was changing and how being an investigator sometimes gets you bruised by angry pigs.

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The tale spun by the other was something I would have thought to be some kind of dungeon crawl if I didn’t remember that the very same place they visited was just below our city. Enormous caverns filled with all manner of crawling and flying creatures hungering for kobold flesh, tunnels patrolled by insects as large as horses, and lakes of lava that could only be navigated by natural bridges over molten death. The farther from the city they went, the more fantastical the depths became and the better the spoils of their expedition became. Two days were spent going out, a day to explore and collect samples near a designated safe zone, and a two day march back with a whole wagon full of city goods.

The things they had brought back were just what they collected as personal gains, but more of their time was actually spent doing what each of their respective jobs meant. Juaki was a monster hunter through and through, and using some kind of tracking skills she had picked up would venture off on her own to bring down creatures three times her size with only her battleax. Tokols as a scout was tasked with going with a partner or team ahead of the rest of the kobolds to see what creatures or hazards lie ahead, and if something big was seen it fell upon the guards and hunters to bring it down or repel it from the path. Humey as an explorer actually got the most free reign, as his trio were given guards and sent down offshoots and tunnels to document and collect things, then return to an overseer character with the wagon to compare notes from the last expedition to the area. Overall it sounded like they had a great time, even if there were some unfortunate times where Tokols was a field medic or Humey had to run a whole kitchen to feed the small army.

Once story time was over it passed on to the after dinner cleanup and before bed procedure. Tim got a plate worth of scraps for him to sift through, though it looked to me like meat and bones weren’t his primary target from the dish. Everything was cleaned up and put back in the shelves when a hand began to scratch at the back of my head in just the right spot between my scales. I turned to face my mother, as she is the only person who knows of that spot on my head.

Both of us were doing our best to remain as neutral and without expressions as we could, but there was a sourness in my mind that was surely leaking through and her eyes were filled with sadness. She seemed to be struggling to speak, so I decided to take the initiative and write her something to work off of.

“Hey mom. I missed you a lot. I’m glad you’re home safe.”

She smiled weakly, the words she had fumbled with now finding a track on which to follow.

“Hello daughter. I missed you more than words would allow. I…I want to tell you something, but I must ask your brothers to help me say it.”

Um, alright, I can accept that. She whistled through her teeth, and when they heard it both Tokols and Humey stopped getting their beds ready and made their way to the kitchen. Juaki placed her hands on the counter and bowed her head as she let her feelings out with a deep sigh.

“I was wrong in how I handled things before I left. I allowed my pride as a warrior to cloud my judgment as a mother, and instead of comforting you about your powers I chose to prove to you that I was strong. This was foolish, something a younger Juaki would do to a confident recruit that boasted of their might. You were neither. You were scared of hurting your family and I chose to push you and threaten you to incite an attack.”

Humey cleared his throat as she caught her breath, acting as some kind of backup for her story.

“Tok and I told her about how she messed up. I didn’t wanna make mom upset, but I knew that she’d hurt your feelings. Tok was the brave one and told her off for it, and all I could do was try to tell her how she could fix this.”

Tokols walked around the counter to place his hands on my arm. I felt a sort of pressure coming from his hands as he held on, almost as if the gravity of his words was actually sinking through his palms.

“Humey idolizes mom, since the two of them are both strong bodied fire-hearts. I only snapped at mom because she thought she did the right thing after we left, but once I started telling her off it just wouldn’t stop until she was in tears. She went and fought some sort of tunnel snake on her own, and afterwards we just found her crying alone behind the body. She’s really sorry Kay, and if you don’t believe the three of us then we don’t know how we can prove it to you.”

I didn’t doubt that you two were able to get through to her, nor did I doubt that the guilt was so much that even the thrill of battle would feel hollow to her. Still, she treated a time where I wasn’t sure if it were safe to be in the same house as my own family like some sort of competition, and that really messed me up for a while. Fuck, it was still bothering me now as I looked at her bowed head. This whole situation was a complete shit show that I honestly didn't want to deal with.

A memory of what Juaki had said to Tuleni sprung to mind. A mother and daughter that had lived a complicated life together, the relationship between them strained by misunderstandings and conflicting morals. A betrayal of trust that would forever leave them separated and against each other even after years of time to heal and grow. What are you trying to tell me fate? Are Juaki and I doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past, to pass down the trauma from parent to child forever?

No way, not in this life we aren’t! Mom was a hot-headed, hypocritical muscle head, but she was also a deeply caring and emotionally driven woman that would lay her life on the line for her children. She already had so much guilt surrounding me already from the day I was hatched, so it was no fault of her own that she had trouble knowing what course of action was the right one. We don’t have to keep the cycle of regrets turning, we can be better people and break that wheel together. I made my way over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, and once she looked up to me I placed an arm around each side of her and held her tight in my arms.

I felt her jerk in surprise, then relax in my grip as her head pushed into my neck. Hugging her this tight was like holding onto a pillar of stone, but there was a warmth and softness to her that made me want to tighten my grip and show her just how much I really understood and forgave her. I released her when I felt that she had recieve enough of my hugging, and without writing anything down I signed to Humey the words ‘I love you’ pointed at mom and went into the dorm to sit on my bed. I didn’t have any additional strength to expend on words right now, and I could only take two deeply emotional events in a single day.

I overheard Humey telling mom that I forgave her and loved her as Tokols came in through the door. He came over and sat on the floor next to my bed, his back to the wall and his head arched back so he was looking up at me.

“Thanks Kayrux. I know she can’t say it right, but she’s very grateful for your acceptance. She really went crazy down there on our expedition, and I was the one who saw it first hand. Always charging in and thrashing like a wild animal, all while tears and snot were flowing down her face with the blood and gore. I was scared of her when she was like that, but it also made my heart ache with pity.”

He pulled his knees in close and wrapped his tail around him too.

“I’m glad that you’re the way you are Kay. Otherworld or this world, you’re the only ‘bold I know who’d be willing to forgive so easily. I know it doesn’t mean much, but I’m also sorry for how she acted. Humey and I could have stepped in and stopped her, but she’s…mom. We both know that getting in her way is a bad idea.”

I nodded along grimly. I didn’t blame them for not intervening, but the apology was comforting. I reached down and gave him a reaffirming brush on the head, causing him to almost lose balance and chuckle softly.

“Quit it, you'll tip me over. Alright sister, it’s been a really long week, and I’ve been sleeping on the floor or on top of a dead cave creature for the past five days and I do not want to spend a single night more in those conditions. That bed right there is singing my name. Love ya’, see you tomorrow.”

You too Tokols. Sweet dreams.