Everyone was once again gathered in the expanded family gathering pit, minus Tuleni and Yabtin, though from the way everyone was acting I could safely determine that I was the only person to have a good day. Cooking was left to me, though I was glad to do it after hearing just what had happened in everyone else’s jobs. Nothing fancy was made, just a quick and easy ham and potato stew with green carrots and orange cabbage. I mulled over the mental recap playing in my head as Humey lent me his heat from the face-down position he had taken.

The story they told shared a starting point, but spiraled wildly for each brother. All three were sent to the forge for their gear, though they were only able to get their measurements done due to a backlog of parts requests and other armory orders. They showed up to their orientation and combat assessment session with no gear and were sent to test first as a punishment. What the testers were not aware of is that these three were trained in the basics by a seasoned veteran, and that they were trained to never pull their punches. Needless to say all of them passed and were opted in for advanced training once their gear is ready.

This is when the stories go differently. Humey was sent to partake in an explorer exam, where he would take a blind knowledge assessment of the different surface and underground threats one might encounter. Every wrong answer was met with a brutal training routine and lesson on the missed question. He’s supposed to keep taking the exam until he can perform a practical test against a randomly selected monster. From what he’s been told, this is a test reserved for their two-year assessment that has been forced on him due to his “remarkable physical and mental prowess”. Smells like bullshit to me.

Next to share their horror story was Mibata. His job as a seeker was actually interesting, since he would act as an intelligence specialist in a variety of ways. I was right in guessing that he would be some kind of detective, since most of his duties included information gathering, with a flair of bodyguard and peacekeeper mixed in. His training was less of determining his combat skill and more of hardening his acrobatics and athletics ability. Seekers are hand picked by the elders, and they want one that has both skill and intellect.

Poor Tokols had it the worst. His assessment was a lot like Humey’s, only instead of having a coach to hammer the skills into his head, he was taken on a short jaunt onto the surface to see how he could handle some real tracking. He had to use only the evidence lingering in the sand to track down and kill a small swarm of blood drinking ants in the desert heat. Bugs the size of cats that would, as the name suggests, cut you open for your blood. He had to use his personal shortsword to defend himself against them, which broke near the end of the fight.

As for mom and dad, they had bad days because they spent all of their mental energy worrying about us. As said before, nobody breaks the law while Juaki is on duty, and all Bahruk does is use all of his mana making tunnels before directing the crew on where to put supports. That gave their imaginations too much free time to come up with worst case scenarios. They practically collapsed into their seats when our little pack came through the doorway.

For their sake, and to prevent myself from feeling too guilty, I simply served up the stew and took my bowl back into the dorm. It felt wrong to have had a good day when they all went through such struggles. I scolded myself, telling these awful thoughts that I wasn’t in the wrong, but they just wouldn’t go away. I just have to focus on something else.

Instead of dwelling on things beyond my control, I decided to concentrate my efforts on updating the conspiracy wall. I reviewed the wall and the new notes that I had added. Three dragons out of six were somehow tied to us, two through blood and one by unknown means, and the elders seemed like they really wanted us to know about the Undertaker. The elders themselves were keeping their distance for now, and the lesser elders we had met were mostly independent in their actions towards us. More speculative questions were added to the side with arrows pointing to the different boxes, with a big question of “Motive!?” written above the entire mural. I hate this guessing game they have us playing.

Descending down the wall, my gaze fixed on the large area at the bottom where I had drawn our family. A new “friends” box was added, and inside I drew the people I had met today: Raevu and her siblings, Dobo and Vimna, the repair crew, and even a little cylinder to represent the kind scanner.

Somebody had snuck up on me again and was crouched down beside me as I drew, though I quickly identified Tokols by the smell of bug guts still lingering on him. He waited for my work to be complete before he spoke.

“I like it. Who are they?”

Since I already had chalk in hand, it was only a matter of bringing my other writing tool to bear for the conversation.

“Raevu and her brothers/sisters on the left. Workshop crew I’m helping on the right. The shape is the scanner. They’re my friends.”

Tokols shot me a confused look.

“Oh no, you did not just refer to the brain poking machine as a friend.”

I most certainly did. I confirmed as much with a nod as my questions were written.

“What do you mean? It was nice to me, and was really polite about the scan. Was it rude to you?”

“I wouldn’t say rude, so much as loud. If it were a spoken voice I would probably be deaf.”

“Loud? Can you explain it?”

He pursed his lips before taking a hissing breath.

“It felt like it was talking to me from everywhere, like with the voices, and it used hundreds of hands to grab at my head to talk to me. I can see why everyone else stumbled out with a headache. Those hands rummaged around in my memories, and it asked questions, but it was so loud that I couldn’t understand any of it. I got the job I wanted though, so I’m not going to stay mad about it.”

Now that he mentions it, I didn’t feel anything wrong after I left the chamber. Why did everything magic related seem to go follow me, but also have a different degree of effect? Was it something spiritual, or biological? Hold on, didn’t Tuleni say that I had an absolute boat-load of mana that I was still developing? Maybe having more magic than average played into how much influence external spells had on me.

“You’re scowling again.”

Damn it, I really have to find some way to shut off the overthinking mode.

“Sorry, I was thinking about magic. Not important. You mentioned the voices. How are you holding up?”

This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

A smile spread over his face, and I knew that he had good news.

“So, you’re not gonna believe this, but my magic went off on its own when I was fighting those ants, and in that moment I heard those voices. They were trying to tell me to just run for it, get as far away from the city as I could. That made me mad, and as I got madder my magic flowed faster. It pushed the voices out of my head, like, permanently. They haven’t bothered me since. Yeah, it cost me my sword and I got yelled at for being sloppy, but I finally have my head to myself again!”

“That’s amazing news! The cure part, not the scolding.”

Tokols’ mirthful laugh made my heart swell with joy.

“Glad you think so too! So, now that you know all about how my adventure into the dunes has been, I think it’s only fair that you tell me about how the workshop was. You must have had a good day since you were smiling so much when we came to pick you up. Don’t think I didn’t notice how you had snuck off to make dinner before it was your turn to tell us.”

There’s that hidden cleverness again: reckless goofball on the surface, conniving schemer underneath. He’s got me cornered in both a conversational and physical sense, so I guess it’s time for me to stop being so secretive. I already know that what I’m doing is dumb, and it should be someone like Tokols to call me out on it.

“The workshop is amazing. There’s a crew of really nice people working on all kinds of amazing things, and I get to learn all of it and lend a hand where it's needed. I didn’t want to be the odd one out.”

Tokols looked as though he were about to speak, hesitated for a moment, then said something else instead.

“I… think that maybe you’re being too hard on yourself. We’d be happier knowing you were in good hands than in constant peril. Nobody would be jealous of you, if that’s what you’re afraid of. We chose our jobs knowing full well that we’d be expected to fight. Some initial training to prepare us for the worst is normal, and we knew it would be hard. Mom and dad are in the same hole with this being their off-job week.”

I knew he would be honest with me, but even so I could still sense that there was something he didn’t say. The hesitation at the beginning, the lack of eye contact, and the small flicks his tail made were his weak points that told that he wasn’t saying what he wanted said.

I didn’t need any premonitions from the hand of fate to know that something bad would be in my future if I didn’t address this now. Something has been bothering him since the other day, when Tuleni was here and I revealed the truth. Oh no, not you Tokols. No, I’m not going to let you fester like Mibata did.

“Hey. Thank you for saying that. You’re right, and I shouldn’t avoid telling my family the truth. Hint hint.”

Tok’s hand slapped into his gecko head in a facepalm as he dropped into a seated position.

“Yeah, I didn’t think you’d let that slide either. *sigh* Okay. I admit, I’ve been distant from you. Humey’s already given me a fair bit of lip about it yesterday, but I do deserve it. Alright, so here’s what I’ve been bothered by: you described a lot about the world you lived in, but never went into detail about what kind of person you were in that world. Bata acted as your voice to speed it along, but if he was telling us everything that you let him know, then you decided to not tell him what kind of life you had lived. I just want to be sure that there isn’t some dark secret that you won’t even tell the person you trust.”

That was a reasonable concern. I didn’t really tell him anything about me because I’m the same person, at least on the inside.

“I trust you all of you. I told Mibata first because he needed to know at the time, or he would have slipped away. It wasn’t an issue of trust, it was an effort to save him. Let me explain myself better for you.”

Tokols read the words and nodded in understanding.

“The truth is: I’m not any different from who I was. I never did anything evil, but I wasn’t exactly a nice person. I never got to know my real family in that life. They died when I was little, so I had no memory of them. I was raised by different people, but I would never open up to them. Every few years I would move to a new home and live with a different family. In my old world, you were only an adult around 18-21 years old, so for a long time I was just a burden on someone else’s life. I was never happy. I stayed out of trouble only because I had no reason to do anything wrong. Life was a dull blur. Dying was the best part, because I got to have a new life where I could change things. I could have the family I was robbed of. I could be a better person because it was something I wanted to do. I could be happy. I didn’t tell you all because it didn’t matter to me, but now I know that it mattered to you.”

Tok didn’t let me continue any more. He had his face in his hands and was fighting hard not to let his voice crack.

“You know, I’m glad you told me, but now I regret asking. Doesn’t matter which life you’re living, fate wants to fuck you over no matter what.”

Tears were escaping from beneath his palms and sliding down his grimacing face.

“I’m sorry I doubted you, Kay. I knew you were good, I just had those lingering doubts.”

He peeled his hands from his face and reared his head back. Sucking in a deep breath, her slowly leaned back forward as he released the tension in his heart. Those honey-tinged eyes looked deeply into mine with a smile.

“Alright, that’s enough of that for me. Thank you Kay, I really appreciate it. I…I owe Bata an apology now.”

Taking the corner of one of the nearby sheets he wiped away his snot and tears.

“I blamed him for standing up for you, you know? I thought he was choosing you over the rest of the family. But now, knowing how worried you two were about your safety, and how you were just trying to save him, I think I get it. I jumped to conclusions. I didn’t know enough and I just guessed. I fucked up, huh?”

My hand grabbed hold of his arm before he could stand and forced him to sit down.

“You were right to be mad. Our family will only make it through this if we work together. We need to be more open about these issues. Don’t beat yourself up, and don’t force yourself to forgive someone if you’re still mad. Work through it first, or you’re going to break something. I’m sorry I had you worried, and I’m sorry that Bata made you mad. Thank you for letting me clear things up.”

Tok’s eyes left the slate to settle on the floor once he was done. With a single motion he was back on his feet, and a hand was offered to me. When I stood there in front of him, I noticed that he was actually a bit taller than he once was, perhaps a foot taller. Still a head shorter than me, but now he was at the perfect height for my big sister's hug. I was so proud of this kid. Exceeding expectations and being so smart, while maintaining his free spirit and childish antics.

“Uh, what’s all this?”

In the doorway was Humey, who had just stumbled in as we were embraced.

“Oh, were you two talking it out like I asked? ‘Bout time.”

Tok pushed himself loose so he could retort.

“Yes, we did, now you can get off my tail about it, tubby!”

There goes the moment. Now that those two were back to their verbal conflict, I could only place the sheet used for concealing the wall writing back on the nails it hung from before finally noticing my uneaten stew. Eugh, cold stew is the worst.

Mibata was soon in the room and breaking up their fight, as was usual routine, until Tokols stepped close to him and jabbed him playfully.

“Hey Bata. You and me, let’s have a spar tomorrow. I, uh, want to air some grievances I have with you. Is…that alright?”

Mibata’s expression went through the entire emotional spectrum in a minute. Confusion, concern, pondering, anger, worry, understanding, then affection in that order.

“Of course. You and I haven’t had a decent bout since before our injuries. I expect you will have much you wish to say. Will this be a private affair, or a public ordeal?”

Tokols glanced back to me and winked.

“Siblings only. We’ll fight right here tomorrow morning, before mom and dad wake up.”

The two shook on it before slumping into their respective beds. Humey shot me a questioning look, but I fibbed as I shrugged in response. He’ll learn what was going on tomorrow. I laid back and fell into a deep slumber, one where my dreams would be forgotten once again.

…

I was back in the empty city. No signs of life anywhere. I was once again back in the main column of the city, standing atop the broken altar as I cast my eyes into the sky. There were no stars or moons, only darkness. I looked down into the fragmented mirror, only to see a shadow in the mirror. The same icy voice spoke again.

“We begin.”

Then, nothing. The dream ends, and my mind drifts in the darkness until my body is ready to wake up.