I squinted up at the sky, my tongue lolling far to one side—from thirst instead of laughter. The trip across the arid prairie had dried me out to the bone.

[Yep, those are vultures, alright.] Dropping my gaze, I added, [But that is definitely not a dead thing.]

Admittedly, the little town spread out in front of us didn’t look very lively, either, but it certainly wasn’t dead. Too much movement for that. Even as I stood there, a woman peeked out the window of a second story building, saw us, and quickly ducked back inside.

[Boss, there are people!] Zapper started wagging his tail. [Maybe we can bring Riley here!]

[I don’t think that is going to be an option.] It was more than just the fact I could see the hostile yellow dot of the woman upstairs. There had also been something weird about her movements. My brief glimpse was too quick to see exactly what, but something hadn’t been entirely... normal.

Well, it wasn’t a mystery we were going to solve standing around here.

[Let’s get the lay of the land, first. I’m sure we’ve got a quest waiting for us somewhere.] I started forward, heading down main street.

The first thing we passed was a decrepit-looking sign of faded wood.

Welcome to Redemption!

Population:

275

268

243

[Huh. That’s probably not a good sign,] I noted. Zapper paused and looked at it with his head cocked to one side.

[I guess? The printing could be a bit better, but it’s still pretty nice.] He went up and nudged it with his nose. [Don’t listen to him, sign, I think you’re great!]

[No, Zapper, that’s—oh, never mind.]

We moved further down the unpaved street. Dust billowed around us, and a dry-looking plant—a tumbleweed?—drifted past, disappearing down an alley. All of the buildings had the same worn wooden look to them as the sign, most with empty porches out front.

The whole place reminded me of somewhere. While I puzzled it over, the system part of my brain happily tried providing context. Boom towns, the Great American Expansion. Cowboys. Something about dead wood? All of it kind of muddled together. I shook my head to clear it.

Several buildings stood with their doors wide open, each with a sign out front describing their purpose. Bank. Post. General Store. I caught movement inside all of them, but hesitated entering just yet. I wanted a feel for this place first.

At least that was the plan until Zapper decided otherwise.

[Ooh, that sounds interesting!] He darted inside one of the biggest buildings on main street, a three-story wooden structure with a sign out front that said ‘Saloon’. Two doors blocked the entrance, but they didn’t reach all the way to the ground, allowing the little dog to slip right underneath without slowing.

[Dangit, Zapper, come back—] Aaaaaaand he was gone. Joy. I turned and followed after him.

The doors parted easily for me, swinging inward on silent hinges before springing back after I’d passed. I paused, allowing my eyes to adjust to the murky interior.

A series of tables filled the floor, and a large staircase to one side led upstairs. This further led to a second-floor balcony that wrapped around the rest of the room.

And, against the back wall, a bar. Behind which was the saloon’s only occupant.

[Aw...] Next to me, Zapper’s ears and tail drooped. [This wasn’t what I was expecting at all. The one my owner used to go to was filled with bright lights and great smells and had a tiled floor and these funny chairs humans would sit in to get their fur colored. I used to love watching that part.]

[You’re thinking of a salon, Zapper. This is a saloon.]

[What’s the difference, Boss?]

I hesitated, then admitted, [Honestly? I’m not sure.]

Again, system knowledge flooded my brain, showing me people sitting around tables, drinking, playing card games. A few following women to the rooms upstairs. [It’s like a combination restaurant and hotel, I guess?]

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[Huh.] Zapper didn’t sound particularly enthused.

“Hey, you two going to order anything, or you just plan on yapping in the doorway all afternoon?” the figure from behind the bar called. I turned my attention towards them.

It was a human male, one who looked to be around middle age. A long salt-and-pepper handlebar mustache fell away to either side of his face.

[You talking to us?] I asked.

“Sure am. You see anybody else in this place today worth talking to?”

I glanced around, but the room remained empty of anyone at all, worthy or not.

[Sorry,] I said, approaching the bar. [We’re not used to humans being able to understand us.]

The man laughed, his handlebar mustache swinging. “Well, I can clear up that confusion right easy. It’s because I ain’t—”

He twitched, his whole body snapping tight like every muscle had locked up. I froze where I stood a few feet from the bar, watching. A second later the man relaxed. He glowered up at the ceiling and shook his fist.

“Oh, calm the heck down, I ain’t gonna tell them anything I shouldn’t.” He glanced back at us and smirked. “Sorry, system’s being a little touchy today, seems like. Guess it’s excited to finally have some guests.”

[System? Like the one that shows us the boxes in our vision?] Zapper asked.

“The same. Though the one currently monitoring this dungeon is a little more hands-on than what you’re used to seeing out in the wild. Why it even—” He twitched again, longer this time. Shaking his head, he turned toward the ceiling again. “Go boil your head already! I told you I aim to behave!”

[Um, you said something about ordering?] I asked. My stomach let out an accompanying growl. After all, the system had told me this was like a restaurant. And restaurants usually had food.

“That’s right. Let me see here.” The man’s eyes glazed over for a second, then returned to normal. “Hmm. Seems most of my usual potables are off the menu to canids. Pity. Been a while since I got to mix a drink for anybody but myself. Still, how does some nice, cold water sound?”

[It sounds great!] Zapper barked. The man nodded and turned away.

[Any chance to get some food to go with?] I asked.

“Food is a common core, each. Sorry, but system rules. Though I couldn’t tell you why it cares. Not like it has any use for the damn things.”

I obligingly pulled a common core out of my inventory, Zapper doing the same. The man began working his way around the bar, a ceramic bowl in each hand.

“Let me get you these waters, and I’ll see what food I can rustle up before the quest starts. If I can’t manage, be sure to come back after and I’ll let you eat your fill, system rules be damned.”

[Quest?]

“Oh yeah, should be starting any minute. Believe me, you’ll know when it does.”

He reached the edge of the bar and started towards us. My hackles immediately went up. A low growl slipped from my throat. Zapper glanced towards me, then back at the man, then at me again. [Bubba?]

[Back away, Zapper. Back. Away.]

The man laughed. Or at least, from the waist up he appeared to be a man. Below that he was completely naked, but instead of normal human legs, he had four spider-like ones sprouting from his torso. If he had any reproductive organs, I couldn’t see them. Just giant. Hairy. Spider legs.

“Oh, don’t let my old clodhoppers scare you. I’m still human enough where it counts.”

[But... are you human?] I asked, eyeing him warily as he set down the two bowls. They were filled with clean water, making my already dry mouth ache, but I resisted moving forward.

The man straightened. “System rules require me to say no. I’m an android, dungeon service model XR45g.”

I closed my eyes. Soon as I did, a yellow dot appeared where the man was standing. I opened them again. [You show up as a monster.]

“Yeah, I suppose I would, just like the rest of the town. Everyone in town is set to passive. I would guess the system shows us like it does in the hopes some more foolish adventurers will shoot first and ask questions later. Good way to have the entire town coming out of the woodworks to tear you apart.” He shook his head.

[So what—?]

“Sorry, but I really can’t answer that line of questioning. System will have my ass if I do. Though I wouldn’t let it eat at you too much, you’re more as like to find the answers you’re looking for soon enough.”

The man jerked a thumb towards the ceiling, winked at me, then turned and ambled back behind the bar.

I glanced over at Zapper and discovered that during my distraction he’d snuck forward and drained his water bowl. He was now in the process of eyeing mine. Deciding that I’d rather be dead than thirsty, I stepped between him and started lapping it up.

“Food will be just a minute now,” the man called. “Though... yeah, okay. I can see the sheriff making his way here. You ain’t got long until the quest starts. Best sharpen your swords, or teeth, or whatever it is canid adventurers do to get ready for a fight.”

[You’re being surprisingly helpful,] I noted, finishing off the water bowl. Zapper looked at it forlornly.

“Yeah, well, seems like the system didn’t do a very good job when they built me. I still remember... well, a lot of stuff. Enough to know this is all hogwash and make-believe. Unfortunately, hogwash though it may be, you’ve still got to play along if you want to advance upstairs.”

[So can you tell us anything about this place?] I asked.

“Well, let’s see. You’re in Redemption, Arizona, circa 1868 in the year of our lord or some nonsense like that. Don’t really remember the particulars. I imagine you’ll sort it all out.”

[No, not that.] I shook my head. [About the system. You seem to know things. What can you tell us?]

The man leaned over the bar and gave us a sad smile. “I’d like to help, I really would. But there isn’t time.”

Just then, the doors to the saloon burst open, and a portly man stumbled in on shaky spider legs. He leaned against the support post, heaving for breath. I noticed he had a silver star pinned to his vest with the word ‘Sheriff’ emblazoned on it. Images flashed through my mind. An old form of law enforcement, I guess?

“He—help!” the sheriff said. “It’s Brad’s gang! They’re back, and sure to kill us all! I’ll pay any gunslinger here willing to defend the town!”

“Well boy’s looks like that’s your cue.” The man behind the bar gave a slight nod. “Time for the show. I’ll talk to you after—assuming there is one.”