You have now entered the dungeon: CGI — Oakland Branch
No sooner had we entered the lobby than the door sealed shut with a soft hiss. I spun about and dashed back to them.
[Dogdangit, no!] I slammed my shoulder into them when they refused to open on their own. When that didn’t work, I raked them with a full-power Claw Slash. Still nothing. [Dangit, dangit, dangit!]
[Swears,] Zapper said softly, but there wasn’t much force behind it. Even he was looking around the lobby nervously. [What now, Boss?]
[Find another way out, I suppose. The system wanted us—wanted me—to come here for some reason. Once we figure out why that is, it should let us go.] Giving up my assault upon the door, I glanced around and noticed a small box next to it that was blinking insistently. I padded over for a closer inspection.
No sooner had I done so than a message appeared in my vision.
You’ve entered your first dungeon! Would you like to view a tutorial on dungeon mechanics?
I froze and studied the words in front of me. Dimming them so I could see my surroundings, I made sure there were no immediate threats that needed to be dealt with. All I saw was Zapper, his own eyes glazed as he presumably read through the same tutorial I was being offered, and Riley, who had climbed onto a nearby leather sofa and was kicking her feet playfully into the air.
Satisfied that it was safe to do so, I confirmed the message. After missing the unique tutorial, no way I was passing up the chance to learn a bit more about our situation.
Though I still tensed as it started, hoping I hadn’t made a mistake.
Welcome to the dungeon tutorial. For those of you unfamiliar with the concept or term, the word ‘dungeon’ is derived from the French donjon, which referred to the main tower of a keep or castle, though later it came to be more commonly associated with prisons and oubliettes. In more modern times, the word dungeon has been utilized by popular culture to refer to a form of labyrinth, usually filled with traps and monsters, but also treasure for the lucky few to penetrate their inner depths.
Huh. This was... informational. But it was also bland and straightforward, with none of the usual mannerisms I’d gotten used to hearing. Perhaps someone else other than Craig had recorded it?
Here at Cainox Global Industries, we have taken the popular approach to dungeons to create a deeper, more engaging experience for our users. However, there are several unique conditions that should be observed prior to entry.
So it was Craig. Guess the guy finally calmed down.
Dungeons come in two forms—towers and wells. Other than the direction you’ll be traversing, all other aspects of the two forms function the same. For instance, once you are inside the dungeon, you may not leave until you have acquired the key from the boss, who resides on either the topmost or bottommost layer, respectively.
Also, all dungeons will feature a shop on their middle layer, so if you’ve entered without safe zone generators or other essential equipment, you can pick it up here.
The first room on every floor is the lobby. It will never contain monsters and will provide hints as to the form and theme a particular level will take. While you are free to set up a safe zone in any dungeon room, lobbies are your only chance to do so without first having to clear out a room’s occupants.
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
I recalled the safe zone generator had mentioned something similar before. Seemed like this would be the place to set up camp, especially if the only way to open the door behind me was to get to the top level of this tower. How long was that going to take? How many floors was this place?
In addition to being required to clear a room before utilizing a safe zone, you also will not be able to access your inventory until a level has been cleared. And core use is limited to one per floor, so either avoid repetitive damage or purchase some healing scrolls from the shop.
Why was it giving me all of this information? All the other tutorials had been rather tight-lipped about how everything worked. Now I felt like I was being led about by the collar.
Then again, I wasn’t exactly complaining. It was nice to know exactly what we were stepping into for once.
One final note for all potential divers and treasure seekers: while CGI expects some damage to dungeon facilities, try to avoid excessive or willful destruction of these structures. All dungeons maintain crews of high-level generated entities specifically for repairs and cleanup, which users should not ever encounter under normal circumstances. However, if they detect abuse to a dungeon, they will be unleashed to ‘correct’ the problem. Don’t give them a reason to do that.
Otherwise, good luck out there, adventurer.
...
Huh, weird. Why hasn’t the tutorial ended already?> ... ... ... Okay, did you get all of that saved? And we’re still recording? Great. Hey there, sis. If you’re hearing this, seems like you finally got around to checking my latest recordings. While I’m glad you’re working so hard to make sure my company is as awesome as possible, maybe you could refrain from leaving comments about my manhood on here for everyone in the QA department to read. They’ve been having quite the time going through all of your notes, let me tell you. Anyway, since you’ve been ignoring my calls, I thought this might be a better way to get your attention. You see, I know what you and Steve have been up to these past six weeks. And to put it nicely, I’m not happy. Actually, I’m incredibly fucking pissed off. I imagine you’re calling for your little pet’s help right about now. Well, don’t worry, I already sent my men to have a chat with Steve. He should be... what’s the word for it? Oh, yeah. Dead. Don’t worry. I told them to make it quick and painless. Well, quick, anyway. I’m sure he didn’t suffer too terribly, nor did the rest of his family. No, if you were going to be worried about anyone right now, it’d be you. I’m not sure where you’re hiding yourself these days, but rest assured, I will find you. And when I do, you and I are going to have a loooooooooong chat, dear sweet sister of mine. Maybe start thinking up an apology now so you’ve got one ready. Who knows? It might even do some actual good. Okay, that’s enough. Cut the tutorial, and make sure this full version doesn’t get added to general pop. No, I don’t—what do you mean, is this the right button? Don’t go pushing random buttons if you don’t know how the system works you blathering— ... ... ... ... ... ... I’m not sure how long I sat there after the tutorial finished. Part of my brain kept trying to make sense of the last part, even though I got the impression it wasn’t something that was meant for me to hear. Well, this was probably one of those human matters better left to humans. I’d learned what important details I could from the tutorial, and that was what mattered. [Hey, Zapper,] I said, [It looks like we’re going to have to clear this place if we want to leave.] [Okay, Boss!] [‘Okay’? It doesn’t bother you that we’ll need to fight through floor after floor of monsters and traps to get out of here?] The little dog cocked his head as he looked at me. [Should it, Boss?] [I suppose not.] Despite the direness of our situation, I couldn’t help but let my tongue loll a bit at the little dog’s cavalier attitude. Then my tail started to wag. [It shouldn’t be all bad. The tutorial mentioned there might be treasure as well.] [I like treasure!] Zapper said with a bark. Riley glanced over at the noise. Right. The human. That might present a problem. [What do we do about the kid?] I asked, as much to myself as Zapper. [Won’t be safe to have her following us around all the time, the fight with Argyr showed that.] [Can’t we just leave her here?] The little dog glanced around the lobby. [I bet she’ll be fine on her own for a few hours!] [Are we even talking about the same human? Don’t you remember what happened with the gasoline can? Or when she climbed up on the roof? Or that incident with the spaghetti?] I shuddered at the memory. [We can discuss it more later. For now, let’s get the safe zone set up.] After the battles with the mecha-dog and the giga-pup, I was half-starved and ready to sleep. But more important than both those things? I had a loot box to open. A legendary loot box.