The upstairs room was empty, just a pile of rugs and pants, the black stained corner, and no Newt.
“ Newt?”
I ran back down the steps, and checked the other rooms
“ Newt?”
No Newt. I ran back upstairs, and clawed through the pants and rug, thinking he could be under them.
“ Newt?”
No Newt.
“ Newt!”
I screamed the name now. Not a question, a demand. Please no. No, Newt couldn’t be gone. No. Not Newt. I screamed out his name, and kept screaming. Why Newt? Why? Newt was gone. My knees buckled, and I fell to the ground in front of the rug screaming, each word ripping from my throat.
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“ Newt, Newt, Newt, Newt, . . .”
On the fifth Newt, my voice broke and I started sobbing, with hot tears running down my face. I was screaming and crying at the top of my lungs, not caring about the cranks. I kept screaming until I lost my voice, and then I just curled into a ball sobbing. My head was filled with thoughts, all of them attacking my heart.
Idiot
Stupid
Newt’s dead
Newt’s gone forever
All your fault
Should have listened to the note
Suddenly, I couldn't breathe. I struggled to inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, but my lungs stopped working. I panicked, clawing at my throat, but I knew it was useless. My vision became clouded with black spots and bright lights. I managed one more horse, raspy word before collapsing
“ Newt,”
Then I passed out from lack of oxygen, into a dreamless sleep. Except it doesn't stay dreamless.