“I’m gonna need you to draw me a map here. Because, uh, how?” How, exactly, her love for Neya would lead to her also loving him? Alex couldn’t see the logic behind that statement, and as a matter of fact it seemed somewhat contradictory. Generally these things were one at a time and did not lead into one another. He had found love to be a confusing, often irrational thing in his own experience, so there may have been no logic in it at all. Just a chain of events that lead Carbon to a realization that had left her shaken. Perhaps she was trying to shoehorn some narrative into her past again. “I’m just... way too far out of the loop.”
At least his confusion took the sting out of it, for the time being.
“When I thought about her parents, I was surprised at how much they reminded me of your parents. They had been so kind, and were very welcoming. It was genuine in them, it was just how they were - I had been so used to false faces that it took me by surprise.” She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, steeling her mind before she looked back to him and continued. “They had raised a Zeshen that was just like them. Earnest, kind... a little unconcerned with formality and rules. Impulsive on occasion, a bit but able to carry out their duties to perfection. Does that sound familiar?”
When she described Neya’s parents, it wasn’t initially clear which set of parents she was talking about. That was generally how he saw his family, too. Worse, it took Alex a second to understand who Neya was being compared to. “Oh. I suppose so, yeah.”
“Now I understand how I came around so quickly, once I began to actually get to know you. You fit into a shape I was already very much enamored with, it was so comfortable after so much strain.” Carbon didn’t give him time to wander down mental paths that may bring him to the wrong conclusion. “This is not to say that my feelings for you are false. They blossomed in a garden that had been well prepared, and have embraced my soul. But I have lied to myself for some time about what else grows there.”
“You did offer to steal a military shuttle for me. That says a lot.” He managed a weak chuckle, chest feeling more than a little hollow at this information. “I mean... I dunno. I’ve kinda been expecting something like this? More like actual ‘we’re all aliens’ kind of incompatibility, so it’s not hitting me too hard, I guess. I figured it might come down to me or her, actually.”
“Why would I choose between you?” Carbon actually sounded perplexed by that assertion, eyebrows pulled low and head tilted just slightly.
“I mean...” He gestured to the bathroom, the dryer running again. “You fell in love with her first, right? I filled the space where she was supposed to go, you understand that now. You say that you love me - and I don’t doubt that you have feelings for me - but we’ve got months in this relationship, and you two have years. A decade. It’s like, what happens when the honeymoon ends, and I’m just that annoying guy who acted close enough to the one you actually love? You gonna drag me around for the rest of your life, or until Eleya kicks off and you can decree whatever you want?”
As it turned out, Carbon did not like having the sincerity or durability of her feelings questioned. She stood abruptly, standing over him for once with shoulders squared, looking down her muzzle at him like her aunt did when she was trying to look Imperial. A commanding, forceful presence, if not a bit haughty. When she spoke it was resolute, a hint of defiance simmering in her words. “You may have ‘filled the space’ that I had developed with Neya, but you are not the same as her. My love for her is not the love I have for you. Despite the difference in time, despite how these feelings are different, they are both just as strong. We have seen each other, we know each other where we cannot hide, and I will show you every thread of my existence to prove this to you. More importantly, we are entwined. This is a thing I desired, yes, in secret. I did not dare speak it, you know what I expected from the Empress. It was not this fulfillment. I know we will have our challenges, that is normal, and it will be harder because we are alien to each other. I accept that because of how I feel about you. So yes, Alex Sorenson, I will drag you around for the rest of my life.”
Alex was wholly unmoved by the visual presentation of that speech. Having first gotten that look shortly after Eleya assaulted him had pretty much ruined its effectiveness, now it just made him want to fight. The earnest delivery and intent saved it. While he was quite sure that Carbon could hide things from him in a link, her being so adamant about what had been a cynical comment managed to wrangle a laugh out of him. “Alright, there’s no need. Me and her are different, and I can understand how you would have different feelings about us. So I guess if you’re in, I’m in. Challenges and all.”
She sighed and her entire body shifted as she relaxed, taking his cheeks in her hands and leaning in to kiss his head. “Thank you. You have come to mean so much to me, as short a time as it has been.”
“I told my parents, the first time I went down after we had gotten hitched, that while we came together in a very intense situation we still seemed to be a good fit for each other. I hope I’m right. I hope the crucible we were in has forged us into something stronger than either of us.” Alex set a hand on her hip and pulled her into a hug, Carbon leaning on him and stroking his hair. “So... What does that mean for Neya? How does she fit into things now?”
Carbon had seemed just faintly exasperated for a moment, but that cleared up as she shook her head. “We are entwined, she is our Zeshen.” She didn’t pick up what he was asking, like that overly simple answer was actually going to take care of the question.
“Okay, the status quo that has gotten us all into these conversations tonight is not the thing that we need to keep doing.” He thought that was pretty straightforward, but he wasn’t the one having these surprises sprung on him right now so he was not going to be pedantic about it. “You said being in love with your Zeshen was forbidden by the council, right? Just the council, or plain old laws as well?”
“Ah. Being in love is not forbidden, precisely. It is that they would be removed from service of their Aeshen - the relationship expressly cannot be... It cannot be equitable. There will always be a power imbalance.” She stiffened under his arm, ears folded down tight as the realization of what he was getting at finally settled in. “The council’s protocols were never enshrined within the Empire’s laws as it had to do with conduct within a group. So it is merely the council we will run afoul of.”
“I want to say there always is a power imbalance, even if they were able to leave when they desired and in doing so poison the entire system against individuals. But becoming entangled in a romantic relationship can make people do things that are out of character, or even bad for themselves. What good is the ability to walk away if they’ve been manipulated into feeling guilty for even thinking about leaving?” The fact the first half of the Tsla’o Kama Sutra for Zeshen had been writings about consent hadn’t gone unnoticed.
Carbon pulled herself away from him and sat back down heavily, thoughts about the morality of what she was doing now swirling in her mind. “That is why the matching process takes so long. I linked with seven different agents. My mother and father and their Zeshen, and the Empress herself even linked with the council agents. They had normal interviews with nearly everyone I had known. Nothing is left to chance.”
“Yeah, that’s one layer of protection. Just like the protocols are another layer. This is basic security stuff - I mean, you said they used to be considered property, but the practice was banned and they’ve spent hundreds of years protecting themselves?” Alex was completely sure that having more than one way to keep psychos who would want to re-enslave you out in the cold was one of those easy choices to make.
“Yes, that- That’s the filters theory of defense. No one stage will catch everything so there must be more ready to mitigate whatever gets through.” Carbon made a series of walls with her hands as she explained it to him, as though it was an entirely new concept for him. “So it is about keeping the Zeshen safe from those who would do them harm.”
“I get what you’re talking about, we call it the Swiss cheese model. It-”
He paused as Neya finally returned from the bathroom. Clad in a long green robe, she lacked her usual level of fluff, and looked dejected as she surveyed the cabin with no small amount of guilt. Some sort of oily fur care product had been thoroughly applied, trails from the teeth of a comb visible in her fur from across the room. It left her with nearly as flat a coat as Carbon. “Thank you for cleaning up, I am sorry about the mess.” She said it as pleasantly as possible while still sounding miserable, as she took her seat at the table again.
“Yeah, of course. I’m sorry I just sprang that on you, too. I should have handled it with more care.” He had a long, stressful day, sure. Didn’t mean he got to take it out on others without repercussions. Alex looked back to Carbon and tipped his head to Neya. “Looks like she could use some cheering up.”
“Yes, she could. What-” Carbon let out an annoyed huff and rolled her eyes as she caught herself before she could ask Alex why he directed that statement at her. Obviously, she had the big news. The Crown Princess of the Tsla’o Empire took a moment to compose herself, smoothing out the fur on her face around slightly bloodshot eyes before continuing in Tsla. “While you were in the shower, Alex and I had a conversation that enlightened me to some truths I have hidden. From myself, from him, and from you. Most important being that I have feelings for you as well, far beyond what I admitted to, and for longer than you have had the same for me.”
Neya took this in and did not immediately react to the information. A hint of disbelief sparked behind her violet eyes before she looked to Alex with apprehension. She spoke slowly, tentatively. “Is this something you have discussed in depth yet?”
“I mean, no, but the heart wants what the heart wants.” Alex got the feeling that was aimed more at him specifically, given that look in her eye, which... A little annoying given she was trying to get him to fire her last night. Sure, it was out of desperation, but she still tried. “Mine wants Carbon, and hers wants to be an overachiever like the rest of her.”
Carbon tsked him and lightly slapped his arm with the back of her hand, a hint of scorn in her gaze that didn’t hold up to the smirk she couldn’t contain. “There is enough in me that I may love two. Such things have happened before, they will happen again.”
“Have they?” He did sound a little incredulous. Sure, he was perfectly aware of poly relationships. He’d shared a dorm room with a member of one at Hellas. There was a decades-long running joke about the Proxima polycule, for that matter. One thing in particular united the ones he was aware of, though. “I haven’t heard about you all having polyamory, from any source. I’ll admit to being very far out of the loop on how Tsla’o actually do relationships, but… is that something your society will accept? I feel like we just got me in with a technicality, so maybe I’m being a little overly cautious here.”
A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
“If I interpret that word correctly, it used to be very common in the heartlands. As farms were nearly villages unto themselves, they had a tendency to have tightly interwoven communities and each would develop constellations.” Carbon seemed to be familiar with the concept after all, slipping back into that teacher-tone for a moment. “While it is no longer a common practice, it is a well known one.”
Neya had brightened up significantly, once it was clear Alex wasn’t about to act all Human about this. “I know you were reading Temptation of the Harvest Fields, how far did you get into it?”
“Chapter twelve, thought it was a good place to stop as the location changed.” He got the impression the book must have contained a constellation as well, even though up until that point it had just been the conventionally entwined hired help getting busy while the main character tried to run a farm. “Well known doesn’t mean accepted, though. Particularly where one party in particular isn’t supposed to be involved in such things.”
“Ah. You are correct. We will have to keep this secret, at least for the time being.” She nodded, as if that discussion was now complete.
“Oh no, hang on. We were real cute about keeping secrets when we got back, but we suck at it. I swear Dae suspected something and we know Ed saw through us instantly. Eleya is like forty percent lies, so she will too.” Alex was sure he was actually okay at keeping secrets. His parents never knew, but apparently Carbon was practically swooning over him in front of some Admirals. Neya talking about how Carbon had avoided her when she returned to the Sword lingered in his mind, as well. Real cute, but a trainwreck. “So we will keep this a secret for now, but we need to plan on how to make it not a secret. Because, to reiterate, we are very bad at keeping secrets.”
Both of them looked like they were trying to suss out something, a little confusion written across their faces. Neya was the first to be done with it. “I agree, a plan is necessary here. I can begin gentle inquiry with the other Zeshen I know. See where sentiment around this part of the protocol is. If others have formed these bonds, perhaps it is time to ease that restriction.”
“I had a thought about that, actually. The Swiss cheese thing, this is one layer of a system to protect their kin, in perpetuity. They don’t want a return to the old ways, so they give themselves a lot of tools to keep it from happening.” It made sense to him, at least. “Would you say all of the protocols fall into that category?”
“A good number of them, at least. As you said, romantic entanglement can cloud judgment, it can be used to manipulate or abuse.” Carbon, at least, seemed to be picking up what he was getting at. “If one considers it as both a direction to the Zeshen to attempt to keep themselves free from those entanglements, and a tool to extract them from one...”
“Right. Because there’s no way that these attachments don’t form with people who were hand selected to be compatible with each other so they could rub their brains together really well, and also be allowed to have a sexual relationship with each other? In a society that knows about poly relationships and doesn’t have a negative view of them?” If the document had been written hundreds of years ago, the original intent could have been lost, even with people who do brain-to-brain knowledge sharing. “I think this is a trap that the Council can spring when they think something is going sideways, then point to the text of the protocols and say ‘we said none of that, now go on get’ and if it’s bad they can destroy the Aeshen socially, and that flexibility has been forgotten.”
Carbon seemed impressed with that, which was nice. “Do you agree with that assessment, Neya?”
Neya tapped her fingers together and sat silent as she pondered that possibility, eventually nodding slowly in agreement. “While I was in Academy, there were two removals. Both were sequestered in the village for some time. I know one of the Aeshen was removed from eligibility, but I did not hear most of the details.”
“Removed from eligibility, that means their former Aeshen got kicked out? The social ostracization kind of kicked out?” Well, that was kind of proof that he - or she, Alex supposed - was doing something bad.
“Yes. I was young and did not concern myself with details at the time - though I may be able to ask for more information about those incidents. A request for historical documents might be a welcome reprieve for what remains of the council.” Neya’s demeanor had eased up, only a hint of anxiety in her voice as they worked through this.
“Good idea. Just... try to be subtle about it.” He didn’t know what subtle would be in regards to asking for documents about what may have been a very dark incident. It still seemed prudent. Alex turned to Carbon, wanting to keep this inertia up. “You should start feeling things out with... Other Tsla’o. Who aren’t Zeshen.”
“That is what I expected to do, yes.” Carbon sighed and patted him on the arm with a bemused smile. “And where will you be in all of this?”
“I’m still going to be trying to convince everyone that I’m actually a cool guy who is not here to steal everything. Maybe use my newfound interest in Tsla’o history to look more into the way of life in the heartlands and the concept of a constellation and probe how people feel about them now. They’ll tell me what they think, unvarnished, because I’m just a guileless brute.” He had been feeling more and more guileful lately. A little. Finding out he was the galaxy's most gullible listening station had not helped.
“Very well, then we all have a direction to explore.” Carbon was pleased with that answer, handing out another one of those little nods that actually did fit this time.
Alex was surprised to find that he mostly felt relief now. Everything between them, all of them, was spoken and on the table. It felt good to have something solid, even though it was strange, under his feet again. They had a plan, and not one that came from an Intelligence officer. He didn’t even mind the duality of Carbon’s affections. He’d always known that her duty to her people would come first so it wasn’t a big shift to think that Neya would also be stuck in second place with him. “Alright. And just so we’re all clear: I like you, Neya. I am happy to have you as an ally. Not in love with you though.”
She laughed quietly at that with a wide smile on her muzzle, and she tipped her head towards him in assent. “That feeling is mutual.”
“Ok, I’m going to say this is the last absolutely disastrous event of the day. Nothing interesting happens until at least tomorrow.” He was going to be feeling guilty about how he’d kicked this off for awhile, Carbon had taken the theft of their privacy very hard, and Neya had just had a breakdown. Interesting times could take a long walk off a short pier for the foreseeable future. “Everybody else okay with that?”
He got nods and sounds of agreement from both of them.
“I am incredibly hungry. Don’t really feel like going out though.” He glanced at the clock, which was still in Tsla and he didn’t have the visual translator on. Whatever, it was later than when they arrived. Well past time for dinner. “Can we order in? Is that available on the ship?”
“It is. We are a bit far from the restaurants but not from the tram.” She dug her comm out of her pocket and started digging through it. “What should we have tonight?”
“Something a little celebratory for you two. I don’t know what that is, but you must.” It felt appropriate. Neya had been fearing this for years, Carbon had focused on it not happening so hard she’d convinced herself it wasn’t. He saw no reason that they shouldn’t enjoy that for a little bit given that reality may still crush it. “It’s kind of a big day for you, right?”
Carbon nodded. “Yes, I suppose it is. A few revelations that are not awful would be enough at the end of a day like today, but this-”
“Steamed glass.” Neya cut her off with an enthusiastic if not perplexing interjection as she leaned in, addressing Carbon directly. “I have not had it since you left because you enjoyed sharing it so much.”
“Please tell me that’s just a weird translation. It’s not actual steamed glass?” He could handle the alien spiders and the cabbage-potato, but glass would be a bit too far even for his curious palate.
“Steamed glass is actually a very accurate translation. It is a dumpling that turns translucent when steamed and you can see the filling inside.” She explained. “And yes, I do enjoy it but rarely indulge as they are time consuming to make.”
“There is a shop that specializes in them in the central square. I have stopped by a few times, they have a machine that makes them, and it is mesmerizing to watch. It smells perfect and I have heard they are as good as handmade.” Neya had clearly been keeping this in her back pocket for the next time someone asked her opinion about where to eat. “The Steam House.”
“I suppose that is where we will get dinner from, if they are still open.” Carbon stood and stretched, then walked over to Neya and pulled her up from her chair with a little bit of protestation before hugging her tightly and planting a brief kiss on her lips. “I will place an order.”
Alex was almost confused by how little that bothered him. Completely unfussed, as a matter of fact. He was sure there would have been jealousy or contempt in his heart if one of his past girlfriends had copped to already being in a longer relationship and displayed that affection in front of him. He hadn’t yet decided on how it was different, but that he was happy for them marked it as being a significant shift. “While you’re doing that, I’ll finish the bedding.”
“The deoderizer is dry, I should wash it off.” Neya added, wriggling a ridge of fur on her arm that had turned hard since she had left the bathroom.
They all went about their business, the cabin nearly silent save for the rustle of sheets and pillowcases. Alex had been taking care of this kind of stuff for himself since he was a kid, so the motions were largely automatic even with a strangely shaped mattress. As he returned to putting the unreasonable amount of pillows back into their cases, he finally actually looked at the new piece of art on the table next to the Codex they had brought home. Initially he thought it was a wolf skull carved out of black stone and shot through with silver and gold marbling, which was weird. Who around here would have a wolf skull?
On closer inspection, it clearly had two holes above the eyes. That was a Tsla’o skull, which was more unsettling. There were two knives crossed and clasped in its skeletal jaws, if Alex had been a knife guy he would have said the blades looked like a seax. Admittedly, he wasn’t very up to date on what normal decorating was for the Tsla’o, but... this didn’t feel like it.
“Hey, what’s up with the skull?” He inquired immediately after Carbon returned from the foyer.
“The skull?” She asked, perplexed by the question.
“On the table.” He nodded to it, cramming the second to last pillow into a case.
She recoiled when her gaze landed on it. Apparently neither of them had looked at it since they had returned. “That... Oh. It is another Codex. I requested some data from Intelligence related to the ship they found the keyed PIN parts in. Something about how we acquired it didn’t sit right with me and I wanted to look into it further.”
“Man, Intel just picks the weirdest stuff no matter who they are. Related, what the hell is a Codex? I toted that thing halfway across the ship and I still don’t know exactly what it is.” He tossed the last pillow back onto the bed and then proceeded to do the same with himself. Maybe he’d just sleep through dinner, and the next couple of days.
“It is a secure data vault, with programmable unlocks. Traditionally it is placed in a container of some sort to allow it to be movable within an area, but difficult to steal. Modern material printing allows for that to be customized to every location.” Carbon said, climbing onto the bed as well and taking a seat on his lap.
“Huh, neat.” He said, stretching his arms before cracking a grin. “Well, wake me up when dinner gets here.”