*Drugs and swear words involved*

I'm an idiot, I'm a coward, I'm a wuss,

I feel like garbage, everyone should dismiss.

My life finally seems all screwed up,

Should throw me in some mouldy old tub.

It's clearer now, I made everything wrong,

Makes me want to get screwed up more with another bong.

No one would have believed I hurt so bad,

Because I must have never been mad.

It sickens myself, I'd make up shit,

At the time it was a big hit.

I was as normal as everybody else,

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But now I feel as big as a mouse.

I never had depression, not like other people have,

I was dreaming it up, just something every wave.

Like I wanted people to feel sorry for me,

I was bull shitting myself, no one wanted to see.

I want to leave this fucked up world of my own,

Make a better one, by having another cone.

What people must think what this girl has done,

I don't deserve money, love and rays of sun.

Wiped out, with nothing to hide,

I'm a plain person with no one on my side.

Taking for granted the things I love,

I'll admit it, I've had enough.

As far as I'm concerned it's over,

sit down, space out and listen to Nova.

Nothing worth saying will change my mind,

Bah! There I was thinking I was generous and kind.

I'm in a mixed up world, which is nothing special,

God I wish I was normal, brave and casual.

I need to wake up, live life for today,

Make up for the fucked up things I did before yesterday.

I could start by starting to like myself,

Stack up all the 'I have depression' and put it on the shelf.

Don't run away anymore, be who I really am,

Tell people the truth, because I can.

*Someone told me that I was delusional and was not depressed, I am a gullible person and took it as it was real...But I'm sure my depression was real, so this poem weird's me out a bit. Especially now, since I haven't been that 'depressed' in a long time...*