I smiled with a sense of happiness. The last consumer had left and it was the perfect  time to be alone. 

I began my night by picking up all the left out bottles, snack wrappers, and instant noodles. Working up into a pitch by wiping the monitors, keyboards, and mouse. Disinfecting everything else stationary before running a dry cloth over them. 

The slow classical music bumpin in the background eased away my aches and pains caused by grilling complaints about new game information. Like I am a game developer or something. Just because I owned a gaming shop didn’t mean I am the perfect person to know every nuisance about every up and coming game patch.

Sigh, it was better just to work mindless for a change. Easy, no big brain work.

I winded my day down by sweeping the floors, retiring to my room to truly end the day. I turned up the radio and took a warm shower, washing off the sweat. I came out and laid down with a litrpg novel. I didn’t even realize when I fell asleep but I knew when I woke up.

The sunlight hadn’t even shuttled through the blinds. Yet there is someone stupid banging on the door. I ignored it for a moment, hoping against all odds that it would somehow go away. But it didn’t, someone continued banging on my door like they were the swat team and I am a high profile drug lord that kept evading prison time.

 I pop open my dresser grabbing my gun, making my way downstairs. Like I thought, there is an imbecile banging on the glass, looking quite fanatic. 

I rubbed a hand down my face while taking my gun off safety. I unlocked the door and stepped to the side, the imbecile fell right in. Crawling in like he is in a horror film and a guy with a knife was right behind him.

“Yo man, close it! Close it quick!” he screeched, crawling in.

I kicked his leg out of the way and closed the door. Locking it to ensure nobody would interrupt me putting a couple rounds into the guy if he tried anything funny.

“Why are you banging on my door?” 

I stepped back to get a good look at his face. Ah, Shawn, the college kid who spent a lot of his allowance on ingame content.  He crawled away from the door and put his back against the front desk counter.

“Man, people are eating people out there! Like legit face gnawing on people!” 

I moved the curtain to look out, but it was too dark to make out anybody that wasn’t on the sidewalk. I guess he had a nightmare or something. Or one of his friends is playing a joke on him. He did smell strong of booze.

“You can rest up down here. I’m going back to sleep. Don’t open the door for anyone. Just come get me upstairs if there is someone else as stupid as you.”

He looked at me then nodded his head. I wondered if he thought it was just someone fucking with him too.

I headed upstairs, leaving him to figure out his problems. I didn’t have enough sleep to play therapist with some college kid down on his luck from over enjoying life. 

I think I barely laid down for two hours but at least the sun was up.

 He came stomping up the stairs and there’s banging on the door. 

I sigh, rolled over and grabbed my gun. Getting out of bed is the hardest thing in the world. It was comfortable, smelled wonderful, and everything I needed after a long day of hard work. 

If this guy didn’t have a good reason for keeping me from my dreams. I would put a round in his head and bury him in the basement.

I open the door to see him with a scared look and his hand reaching out to knock. I didn’t want one of those weird awkward moments where he tried to re-enact some movie. So I pushed him back and walked past. 

“Someones at the door, man!” he reiterated what I could already figure out.

Upon making it downstairs, I saw a new face at the door. I opened it but this infidel didn’t fall through like the last. Instead she looked at me with a look of gratitude but I was vastly confused why they bothered coming to the computer shop. Instead of going to the police department which is a twenty-four/ seven operation. Not to mention she wasn’t even dressed properly. 

Sporting a tank top and booty shorts. Is she going swimming or running from her life?

I closed the door without being asked and she bent down. Clutching her chest while breathing like her life was on the line. 

“Let me guess, someone was eating someone's face?” I asked a rhetorical question.

“Yes,” she answered though.

I sighed and glanced out the window to see a few people moving at clip pace but no face eating. What a terror to be the to-go-to place for weirdos. I walked behind the counter and turned on my pc. I did a quick news search and surprisingly. There were a few blogs and videos about this. Not enough to really get government involvement at the lowest level but it would definitely attract attention. 

Shawn had come down while holding a bat. His arms were shaking more than a girl holding her favorite shirt with a stain on it.

“So, I really want to know. Out of all the places you could have fled to, why come to a computer store with a big fucking glass window out front? Do you think just because it is tinted with UV protection that Zombies can’t break it down?”

Shawn glanced at the window and his mouth fell open. Like he really didn’t think about that, which means I really must have been awesome for him to want to be protected by me. Too bad he wasn’t some hot girl, I might have enjoyed being woken up so early. 

The girl, on the other hand, at least came in something appealing to the eyes.

“I heard rumors that you were former military so I thought you would be like one of those crazy survivalists. With like years of dry food in your basement, armory of weapons, and all kinds of weird facts about surviving. was I wrong?”

I almost said yes just because she was being super prejudiced against smart individuals.

“I mean those are just rumors. Are you telling me that you came to a random guy's place of work in a skimpy outfit because of jokes from people with too much free time?” 

Even though I said this, even emphasize it by placing a hand on my hip. I forgot to move my gun off the desk beside my mouse. Thus as she leaned over the counter, she couldn’t help but notice and the grim look changed instantaneously into a, ‘I knew it was true’ look. 

“So you aren’t some kind of disabled vet?”

I rubbed my face several times.

“No, I’m not a vet. I work as a guard for a crime boss and I killed people like him for looking weird. I slept with girls like you at gunpoint. Now does it seem like a good idea to run to me?” I pointed at Shawn.

She paused for a split second.

“Yeah right. You wouldn’t be lecturing me if you were going to harm me. So what kind of plan do you have?” she said with a big grin.

I stared at the infidel and a thought crossed my mind to take her upstairs before burying her. But a more logical side intervened, I would have to clean up the blood and I was still tired.

“I’m going back and sleeping. There is a guest room, you can use it. Go home after the police finish with the cleanup.” I turned to Shawn. “Put that down before you hurt yourself. Sleep on the couch in the lobby.”

She followed me upstairs before splitting off. I closed my door and crawled back into bed. Zombies, plagues, even nukes going off wouldn’t derail me from sleeping well.

I woke up for the last time, due to sweating but it was winter. I got up and walked into the bathroom to see my face was pale, sickly pale. Am I turning into a Zombie? Ironic, I lived my life well but in the end, I don’t die by the bullet. I don’t even die of old age, I die of a possible man-made virus. 

I wonder who will I bite first? Probably Shawn, he looks like a retard that will fall on his ass if I charge at him. The girl might pepper spray me or tell me I need to get a make-over. She looks like a smart-ass.

I took a shower, washing the cold sweat down the drain. When I walked into the kitchen, I saw both the nerds hooked up to a VR set. Guess they weren’t going to miss a dungeon just because people decided to change their diets to something a little more meaty and raw. I stared out of the display window. Now that I had adequate amounts of sleep, I could care to pay attention to those running on the streets. 

I was ready to see someone gnawing on someone's face. I kind of wanted to take pictures for porpersity sake. Like imagine, a few days later, when and if things go back to normal, people are now blaming the government but the government is shifting the blame. I can post a meme. 

Food for thought. 

Halloween came early. 

She asked for crispy but they only had rare. 

We were on the main road leading to all shopping and business shops. Like you could walk outside and right around the corner there would be a starbucks or some hotdog stand. The sidewalks would be so crowded that you would have to walk sideways in order not to bump into someone. Let’s not even discuss the car traffic with the sit for years at a stop sign because someone was trying to park but didn’t open their eyes to see a car backing up. 

Yet today, there were a few people walking to and from. The road was all but empty with only emergency vehicles running. I didn’t really think it was all that serious. I walked behind the counter and pulled up the local news to see if there was any info on this. 

I was thinking about some kind of new bio-chemical attack. This is America, everybody hates us for good reasons. We bomb your country while eating steak and talking shit about your now undeveloped country in ruins. 

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

I found one that seems to actually be talking about a drug gone wrong.

Broadcaster: … As I said before, this is coming from reputable award winning scientists who tripled check their test results. Plus there are several reputable companies and major colleges that have identical reports. So I say with utmost trust that this information is factual and currently the most accurate representation of what to expect. You can find the sources on our website.

Back to the point, according to these sources, the virus is a multilayer cure which was meant to combat cancerous cells. It was only in animal testing stage when the lab was attack by an unknown militant group. The current virus is no longer the same as the un-tested version.

This means that the virus is released to the public. That is turning men into cannibals, is a mutated cure that was meant to cure cancer on all levels. Has now been turned into a disease that is unlocking unknown gene sequences in the human body. Turning some of them into walking cannibals. Studies and tests are still ongoing to determine what exactly is the purpose of this new outfitted drug. What is it truly geared to do? How to reverse engineer it to create a vaccine to prevent further walking zombies. 

I want to add, this is not day one of this virus being released. This is not even close to day zero of someone's sick plan. 

Sources say that this was set back three months ago. The government has known about this outbreak for at least two months. 

I exited out. It wasn’t all that interesting. I decided to be like everybody else my age and watched some anime. There are tons of zombie movies and anime out there. Time to freshen up on my zombie lore.

I think I was too interested in the zombie animes. When something slammed hard into the window, I jerked. Like falling asleep and feeling like someone hitting you but it was only your imagination. I glanced over at the two nitwits. Sitting several seatings apart but close enough to be comforted in knowing someone was nearby.

They were way too into the game to notice the sounds. First dead in any movie, lesson one, don’t be too engaged not to hear death’s prowling.

I eased around the counter, staring out the window.  I saw nothing but a smudge on the glass. I clicked the safety off my gun. I didn’t lean in and pressed my face to the glass. Even though the front display glass was three thick layers of bulletproof glass. I had no idea how strong a zombie was compared to a normal person, I did not want to be smooching glass, and then french kissing whatever it was.

Laughing at myself for being scared, I walked to the janitor closet, popped open the door. I typed in code on the gun safe, pulling out a shotgun and some shells. I pocketed most but kept four to load the shotgun. 

I, now, walked to the door feeling much better about myself. Had a pistol for backup for just in case emergency, shotgun to end lives. I unlocked the door and opened it after making sure my safety was not in question.

I opened the door and stepped to the side. Shotgun up just in case they were waiting on that exact moment. Nothing came and I took out my cell phone, why?

Because this is the exact moment in movies where you find a clever zombie, hanging above your head. Dripping drool down, while you are looking around in relief that nothing was there. I extended the phone out.

You know how you tell someone that you think they brought you the wrong meal. But they swear up and  down that they got you the right meal, even while you are opening and showing the sour cream. They tell you to scrape it off but you find out it has mayo on it as well, then that it isn’t even vegan tofu but actually soy something meat. The cheap meat cheap restaurants provide to stay above the yellow.

I felt just like that.

Like, damn, I was right. This drooling sack of shit was hanging right above me. I wasn’t going to walk out and try to capped that thing. It was fine letting it sit there and eat somebody walking up. Shit, call me pizza hut because I'm delivering lives like a double cheesy pizza. 

I slowly closed the door and cringed upon seeing this big breast woman running up. I betcha a thousand bucks she  didn’t look up once. She was running dead towards my shop with two right behind her. Even if I open the door and let her in, there is no telling if the two behind her won’t slide in. That’s hoping the wall climber misses her. 

Was I really the save-a-hoe- type? I don’t think I was? Was I like this in the gang? Hell no, she would have been dog food and I would be ordering from tony’s pizzeria. So I slammed the door shut and began pulling down the chain fence, from the inside. There was a button that would automatically lower it, a smart move by the previous owner. Now a life saver for me. What a swell guy, right?

The woman didn’t even make it to the sidewalk, which was ironic. She had all those stores on the other side with people looking out the window. Definitely the shoe store across the street, he even opens the door and calls for her, with a gun in hand. Yet, she ran across the street to me, for whatever reason that went through her head. She ran to the furthest guy away. 

The two behind her probably wouldn’t have caught her if the spider-man didn’t slammed into her. The subsequent screams, well, she really deserved it. I pulled over the drapes after the chain fence locked down into the little divot in the concrete.

I turned around to see both Shawn and the girl looked at me with funny faces. I shrugged and walked past them. I wasn’t going to explain how I chicken out due to a smart ass zombie. Movies only prep you for the dumb kind. Not the clever wall climbing, superman flying zombies. I didn’t get paid to be a white knight.

“Hey man, you could have saved her!” the hysterical girly voice didn’t come from the actual girl.

I wondered if he would have ran out there to save her. I mean to be honest, there were more people running, hiding in cars. The intensity of the zombie virus increased so fast that, even I was a bit scared to poke my nose into other people's business.

Shit, Zombie Lives Matter, right?

I pointed out the door.

“There are about two kids in a car, four zombies jumping on the hood. The mother is all alone, no  weapon. Take your bat out there and save her  from spider-men zombies.” I spoke in the least mocking tone I could afford.

However, he dropped the bat like the little judgy bitch he was. I shook my head and turned to the girl who was acting like she didn’t hear a damn thing. 

“You know, if you guys want to live under my shelter, you are going to have to start moving some weight around here. I like a clean area, clothes washed, and..” I was interrupted.

“I call your bed. Sorry, Shawn. You have to do the chores.” She punched Shawn before dropping back down. Pulling the VR helmet over head like the world didn’t exist right now.

I held up a hand, not that I was saying this semi-good looking young woman couldn’t warm my bed. But, what if I was sick or something and turned into a zombie mid deal? Like can I not die with more embarrassment than not finishing up before death?

Wait, I’m a gangsta. Mobsters fear me. Civilians scream my name in abject horror when they see my slick suit. I drive the best cars. 

God, damnit!

I’m dying in something and not sitting on bed wondering when I'll get a craving for strawberry flesh.

I wiped the sweat off my brow.

“Okay, we will work it your way. I’m going to take a nap.”

I rushed up stairs, rushing to the bathroom to take another look at myself.

What if I actually bug out, like now?

Is this what those patients on death bed feel like?

Like any minute can there be time?

I wonder if I should call some people’s family I killed, tell them how much I regretted it.

Mm, I wonder if they would forgive me?

Probably not. Probably call the cops on this crazy bastard. 

Fuck it, I best die in my sleep. I wrote a quick note and placed the note on top of the gun outside the door. Closing it before stripping down into just my boxers. I laid on the bed for a while. Staring at the prickly ceiling, thinking yet again. 

How come I am not feeling that dying feeling?

Yeah, my stomach hurts a bit. Yeah, I have a minor migraine. Yeah, I wished I ate something before coming upstairs.

But right now, no flashes of memories to say boom, you are about to meet some angel at the heavenly gates. Naw, I was just getting chill bumps from the A/C unit blowing out strong as fuck. 

Maybe I should write a will or something?

Just in case they fixed this stuff after I’m gone. 

I sat up and pulled out more paper and pen. I began with the usual.

These are my last words..

Then I was stuck. Like what do I say? Hey, I became a zombie. You know the kind that likes eyeballs dipped in marinara sauce. I just wanted to let you know, whoever you are that this is my will.

Sadly, I have no next of kin. My mother is an unknown figure. My father was a low level mob boss but died due to being the stupider mob boss. My uncle got himself killed driving a truck full of weapons across the border without license and decided to start a gun fight.

My step-sister.. Well she isn’t really family.

So in the end, who will I give my wealth to? Maybe I should just donate it to some children welfare group. Maybe do something for those orphans. Mm, yeah fixing karma just before I decide to nom nom on their face. That’ll send me to heaven, when someone headshot me.

Wait, what if I was one of those really badass zombies. Like the spider-man zombie. What if I could shoot laser beams out my eyes or something. Distances hunting my human prey, then fuck. I would rack up so much karma. 

If my soul reincarnated, would I reincarnate as a weed. One of those weeds that get cut down every weekend. The kind that the owner has to get flustered about. Goes to the store to buy a forty dollar weed killer only to find me back the next day. Growing as strong as ever, like his industrial grade weed killer was just fertilizer? 

Wait, what if I reincarnate as a rat, slipping inside someone's walls to nab that last pizza roll. When they turn their back I’m chewing on their shoes to remind them that I’m still not gone. When they get super upset because they still haven’t killed me. They go out and buy hundreds of those cute rat traps but what if I’m allergic to dairy and cheese products. Thus I don’t trip those rat traps. How stupid would they look then? What if they buy a cat to chase me but the cat is the lazy kind like Garfield? 

At the end of the day, what if they treat me like a guest of the house like they do roaches. 

Speaking of roaches, I bet that apartment owners import those little bastards

Like how can they survive when someone spray down the whole compound but the next day. They are sitting on your counter waving at you, helping you find the car keys. It’s like what the fuck, what’s the reason you are killing my nostrils with that strong as fuck spray but it does nothing. Is this one of those things that cheap ass owners do because they know you will move out sooner rather than later. Thus they don’t have to spend money on fixing the usual wear and tear?

I mean if you think about it, if a person moves into a home for six months. That’s two sinks they stopped up, sixteen times they put the wrong kind of paper towel into the toilet. Or using the wrong baby wipes, maybe they got their hair caught in the drainage. Thus that’s hundreds of dollars to call a fat ass to come pump the shit out. Then you have to add in the broken fridge, fuck up microwaves, the washer not working because they stuck two weeks worth of clothes in it.

Let’s not forget the door knob too loose from jerking it open instead of twisting all the way and pulling. Or how about the showerhead needs to be replaced because they kept shoving it upwards upon finding out they turned on the cold water instead of hot. Thus you have all these kinds of money issues that owners really don’t like to see.

I think it is now logical for them to want to remove guests in the quickest possible time frame by inviting roaches over.

Definitely since some of them look like imported breeds. Like how pet owners import their cute handheld dogs from different countries. I’m sure apartment owners have this website where they can pick out the ugliest looking roaches possible but I almost forgot. You have those cute owners who have to have everything matching. Thus they ordered those really cute insects that look like the teal wallpaper. And you don’t realize it’s even there until it lands on your all black desk.

Then you’re running out the room screaming, Spider!!!!

I dropped the pen as I wasn’t thinking of anything creative. Damn, I guess whoever gets my stuff gets it. Not like I’m worth millions of dollars anyway. Probably have about fifty-six grand in a bank account and a little more in the vault in the basement. Can’t trust those filthy bankers with all your money.

Never know when they might be deemed something hacked. 

I was getting a little more tired. So I laid down and pulled out my phone. Watching some videos of people getting their faces on. Shit was almost as good as watching cat videos. Definitely when that one guy goes, run bitch run. But the girl in question is trying to beat an already dead zombie with two by four. 

Then BAM!

Hit like a professional football player. 

Like whoever did this camera work was amazing. They even slowed it down so you can see the girl's mouth going, ‘O Shit!’. God forbid her needing to go to the eye doctor if she survives. Those babies practically flew out of her head. 

Good news, at least she got some lift. 

I’m sure she was carried for a couple yards. If this was a football game, the zombie would have increased his fantasy points just by sacking her back several yards.