Chapter Forty-Two
-- August, 2002
Alphaville – “Forever Young”
I returned to the motel late, after Mom had gone to bed. She rolled over when I came in the room and tried to talk to me but gave up after I wouldn’t respond. I wanted what had become the worst day of my life – even worse than the day I tried to kill myself – to be over and done with. I laid down on the other king bed and fell into a restless sleep.
When I woke early, I didn’t even try to go back to bed. I showered and got dressed, heading out to the reunion’s goodbye breakfast alone. I was early, the staff were still setting up chairs. I thought I was the first person there but was surprised to find Uncle Kev already waiting in the corner. I should have figured Kev would be there, his numerous power naps throughout the day nearly guaranteed he wouldn’t sleep through the night. Clearly, Mom had gone crying to Lynn the night before, because he cornered me in line at the buffet.
“I don’t want to talk about it, okay?” I said, cutting him off before he could even start.
“Just let me say my piece and I’ll get out of your hair.”
I reluctantly nodded when it became clear he wasn’t going away anytime soon.
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“I’m sure you’d die before you ever listened to me, but... what you heard last night? I’m not saying you were too young to hear it, but maybe you can never be old enough to hear something like that. We all know what Uncle Nick meant to you--”
“I think he found me annoying...”
Kevin looked at me, surprised. “You’re no more annoying than any other kid.”
I asked him a question I needed answered. “Why did they do it, Kev?”
“Taylor, what would you have had them do? Nothing? Why, so he could have suffered more?”
“So, you knew about it?”
“Lynn told me, yes.”
“And you’re okay with it?”
“I’m okay with less pain in the world. Yeah, I am. I’m just sorry you had to go through this...”
“I suppose I should grow up and be serious.”
But Kev just shook his head. “The world is filled with humorless people – why would you want to be another one? All I’m saying is, you spent all this time finding out about your family’s mistakes. Who cares what we did or didn’t do? Stop looking back. Go and live your life.”
By the door of the mess hall, my mother waited. She had seen Kevin and I doing what she could not: talking peacefully. She stood there, not wanting to break the spell. When I saw Lynn come up beside her to hold her hand, Kevin shared, “you know she thinks of you as another one of her kids, right?”
“She does?” I asked, bewildered.
Kev nodded. People had started to arrive, so we turned back to the food line and grabbed plates. I ate quickly, sitting by myself before the final send-offs began.
When I finished, I decided to walk back to the motel to pack. But packing I found would not be necessary...
Janet had already done it for me.