Chapter Forty

-- August, 1967

Procol Harum – “A Whiter Shade of Pale”

It was early August and the Benson children were already feeling the summer coming to a close. Friends fell by the wayside as families left early, the beaches became less crowded, and summer romances began to fizzle. Except for Janet and Oliver who had started spending every waking moment together. So much so that Lynn was getting concerned. “I saw them at the drive-in -- they were sharing a soda!” she tattled at breakfast one morning.

Janet turned bright red, smacking her sister. “You take that back!”

“Janet, don’t hit your sister!” Sandra moaned, reaching for the coffee. She was well put together in a red and white checker dress but was fighting off a vicious hangover.

“Keep it down, your mother’s not feeling well!” William barked from behind his newspaper.

“I’m telling the truth!” Lynn said, cradling her sore arm.

Sandra rubbed her temples. “True or not, he’s a nice boy. But do you really think he fits in with you and your friends?”

“What does that mean, mother?!”

“Isn’t he... I don’t know, kind of poor?”

“Mom!” Janet balked.

“Doesn’t he work at that shop?”

William’s newspaper came down. “What’s this about a boy?”

“Janet’s been seeing a boy who works down at the ice cream place.”

William’s brow furrowed. “Seeing? What does that mean? I don’t want you seeing anybody.”

“Well, too bad! It’s not your life, dad!” Janet dramatically slammed her hands down onto the table and stormed out of the room.

**

Nick had steered clear of Mrs. Connerty since that day in her bungalow when she undressed in front of him. But Eileen had been after Sandra to send her boy over once again to help “move some stuff.” Noting her son’s reluctance, Sandra had postponed until she could postpone no longer. Finally, Nick had to put his summer of candy cigarettes, Mad magazine, and cherry bombs on hold to attend to Mrs. Connerty.

She led Nick to her open bedroom closet where she had set up a step stool. She pointed to a high shelf and asked him to bring down several of her hat boxes. Nick did as he was told. The whole time, Mrs. Connerty stood in front of him (“for support,” she said). As Nick reached for the boxes in the far back, Eileen made sure his crotch banged into her face several times. She pretended it was business as usual.

When Nick took down the final box, a cloud of dust bunnies rained down over Mrs. Connerty. She started complaining about how she’d been sick lately and if it wasn’t too much trouble, before he went, could Nick grab her some VapoRub from the bathroom?

When Nick returned, Mrs. Connerty was sitting on the bed. She had undone another button on her blouse. Nick held the tub of Vick’s out to her, but she just waved him closer.

“I know it’s a lot to ask,” she cooed, “but could you help rub it into my chest? It doesn’t work as good when I do it...”

Nick nodded. He knew his mother would be mad if he was rude. He dug a glob out and started kneading it into the skin above her breasts. But he never ventured south, no matter how much she began to moan. When it got to be too much, he stood and wiped the remainder of the Vick’s on his jeans. “I really should be going--” he said, backing away.

But Eileen was persistent. “Oh, but you haven’t had lunch yet – I can’t very well send you back to your mother on an empty stomach, now can I? I’d never hear the end of it!” She called no attention to it but slowly began unfastening more buttons on her blouse. “I could make you a turkey sandwich? Or a peanut butter and jelly?”

She caught his eyes as she pulled her shirt open. “Or maybe you’re just thirsty?” she said pushing his head down onto her breasts.

She suckled him there for over half an hour.

**

Camp had not been going well for Bill. The whispering behind his back had devolved into outright taunting. And he wasn’t just getting it from his bunkmates. He had been the weird kid in camp ever since he chose to wear a Davy Crockett coon skin cap in his free time. In a place that was full of squares, he was turning out to be the squarest one of all. The more they teased him, the more annoying he became.

Something had to be done about it...

Since day one, Bill had been hesitant to shower in front of the others. But one massive shower room was all they had at Camp Adirondack. That meant that Lee Hannah, Bill’s favorite counselor, had to clear everyone else out of the showers so that Bill could clean himself in peace. It was a nuisance, but people had put up with it. Until now.

None of Bill’s bunkmates remembered who brought it up first, but sometime in the early morning hours after a particularly trying night with Bill, an idea was floated. What if something was done to Bill’s towel while he showered? The scouts laughed. But what to do?

From the far corner of the cabin, the grossest kid in their bunk sneered. “We shit on it...”

Heads craned to look at Louis Lepadimas, hidden in shadow on his top bunk. “We shit all over it.” he said, when he knew he had their attention.

That was how acne-ridden Louis Lepadimas, came to be squatting over Bill’s towel the next night. He had a time limit; Bill was known to be a quicker showerer, so the second they heard the water turn on, Louis threw Bill’s towel to the floor and went to work.

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None of the crowd expected the performance anxiety that followed. It got so bad that Louis couldn’t squeeze anything out until he heard the faucet turn off. The ticking clock seemed to work for him then. In short order, he dropped one solid log across Bill’s otherwise pristine white towel. Rubbing it in, he just managed to get the towel back on the hook as Bill exited the showers.

The scouts watched from afar as Bill scrubbed his face dry, leaving a long streak of shit across his forehead. When they saw this, the boys screamed with laughter. Bill put two and two together and threw the towel at his tormentors. This proved to be a strategic mistake as they immediately took off with it. He tried to catch up with them but had to stop when he got to the exit. He watched as his bunkmates ran through the camp, waving his towel.

“What was that?” Lee Hannah asked. He had been off to the side, smoking a cigarette.

Bill tried to keep the tears from his eyes. “They stole my towel.”

“Oh, come on...” Lee stubbed out his cig and stomped back to their bunk.

While he was gone, Bill got back in the shower and scrubbed his face clean. When Lee returned with a towel of his own, Bill wrapped it thankfully around himself and headed back to the cabin.

The culprits were laughing when he entered. But they went quiet as he crossed the room and went to his bed. Without a word, Bill got dressed into street clothes. On his way out, he passed Lee, who asked, “where you going?”

But Bill didn’t answer. Instead, he ran to the nurse’s station where he found an unlocked bike in the bike rack. He didn’t even bother to look around for its owner. He just stole it.

It took him half an hour to pedal into town. He had no idea what he was going to do when he got there, but he just kept going. About a block from his parent’s hotel, the decision was made for him when he saw what looked to be his father’s car leaving the parking lot. He decided to follow it.

There were a couple points when he almost lost William, and one scary moment when he thought his father would go onto the highway, but at the last second, he had turned back onto Lake Shore Drive. Bill raced after the car until it slowed outside a cottage on the opposite side of the lake from his parent’s hotel.

Bill remained hidden behind a pickup truck as his father turned into the driveway. When they saw William, several children ran out of the small, but homey, cottage to give him a hug. They climbed all over, glad he was home. Then the olive-skinned woman from the beach, the brunette Sandra saw, came out and kissed William warmly on the mouth.

Bill watched it all, unsure of what it was he was seeing. His father seemed to know these people. And what was worse, he seemed to know them well. Bill noted how happy his father looked. He had never picked him or his siblings up and played with them like that...

Bill knew now why he could never measure up. His whole life he wondered what he lacked in his father’s eyes. It wasn’t because of any shortcomings in him. It was simply because he wasn’t one of these kids.

Bill was about to leave when a straggler came out of the cottage, an older brother of the little ones. Oliver gave his father a mature and hearty handshake. William clapped him on the back and led the others inside. He was almost in the door when he glanced across the street and saw Bill standing by his fallen bicycle.

William told the others he’d be inside soon, that he had just forgot something in his car. He started to jog over to his son, but Bill bolted, picking the stolen bike up and pedaling like his life depended on it.

It started to rain halfway through his ride, and he arrived back at camp soaking wet. The rest of his bunkmates were at afternoon activity. The cabin was empty, save for Lee Hannah. He was reading in bed, but stood when he saw the state Bill was in.

“What happened?” he asked.

Bill stood only a few steps in from the doorway, a puddle slowly forming around his shoes. When he didn’t answer, Lee made his way over. “Are you okay?” he asked, quieter this time. Bill shivered. He didn’t know why he did it, but he hugged Lee.

The counselor was taken aback at first, then slowly patted him lightly on the back. They stood there like this for some time; Bill crying and Lee not knowing what to do.

**

William waited on the precipice of the Sagamore’s Imperial Suite, the one his family had rented for the summer. He was out in the hallway, unwilling to enter. He had planned to push this until the end of August, but having Bill catch him like that made things complicated. He knew what he had to do, though he didn’t like being pushed into it.

William used his key. He found Sandra in the kitchenette, cleaning and listening to Count Basie at a deafening level. He spoke quickly and assertively, told her that they had drifted apart. She didn’t hear him until the third sentence but knew from his face that he was serious. She turned the record player off with a start. He repeated the last thing he had said and she began to cry.

When William tried to pack a bag and leave, she fell to the ground, gripping his leg so hard that he was forced to drag her towards the door.

He looked down at her, disgusted. After cautioning her towards dignity, he pushed her away, slamming the door behind him as she wept into the carpet.

**

Across town, William’s son and daughter found themselves alone for the first time in quite a while. Ever since her sister had interrupted their first kiss, Janet had found it hard to get one-on-one time with Oliver. There were always people around. But not now.

They were the first of their friends to arrive at the EZ-mart parking lot. It seemed meant to be, especially since Oliver had said he was going to be late because his dad was in town.

Janet felt the moment had a lot to live up to. Growing up, her parent’s love story was something she aspired to; a 12-hour marathon blind date that ended in a proposal beneath the same Penn Station clock that they had first met under earlier in the night.

But something about this, here and now, felt right...

Oliver smiled at her and they laughed, nervously approaching one another saying inane things and half-sentences, until they were within touching distance. They floated towards each other, Janet leaning forward on her tip-toes in the bright summer light to kiss him on the lips. When they finally connected, Janet sighed. She couldn’t help it.

She had little to compare it to, but as far as first kisses went, this seemed pretty great. When they were through, Oliver stepped back, grinning like a fool. He did not realize that he was now standing on Lake Shore Drive. And that a truck was about to hit him.

From where Lynn was hiding, spying on her sister, she was the only one who saw what was about to happen. She stood to yell out a warning but was drowned out by the sound of the impact. She went silent as a streak of blood whipped across her face. She blinked, red in her eyes, unable to move.

Janet stared at the empty space where her first love previously stood. She hadn’t reacted yet. It was too inconceivable to acknowledge. Things like this had never found their way into her life. She continued to stand there, long after the ambulance arrived.

Long after Lynn had stumbled home...

Back at the Sagamore, Lynn threw herself into the shower and scrubbed at her blood-smeared face until it was red and raw. No matter how hard Lynn rubbed though, she couldn’t ever get clean enough.

By the time she got out of the shower, Sandra was packing like a woman possessed. Lynn tried to tell her mother what had happened, but Sandra just took it as her not listening.

“Get packed!” she insisted.

Her mother looked manic. She was restless and sweating profusely, her hair tied back by a ‘Rosie the Riveter’ headscarf. Lynn did as she was told. So did Nick after he took the temperature of the room and realized that now was not the time to disobey.

As they loaded their bags into the family’s Cadillac, Janet finally arrived. Sandra told her to get in the car, that she had already packed for her. Janet moved to object, but in the end only sunk into the back seat, staring straight ahead.

Securing the bags to the roof, Sandra realized she would now be living the horror that was life as a single mother. She climbed into the driver’s seat, which was an odd sight for her kids. As she pulled out of the hotel’s driveway, Nick asked, “We’re not leaving, are we? Where’s dad?”

But Sandra didn’t even blink. “Who cares?” was all she said.