Spinning.

The circular motion had always felt calming, even in my previous life. Spinning pens was the easiest way to get my fix without disturbing others. Well, without disturbing most. Some did find it annoying. No matter. It was actually better when they easily noticed; most learned it meant I was concentrating or not to be disturbed.

The spinning made everything better.

It was relaxing. It helped me think. Each pen’s weight and texture did unique things. I loved learning what different pens could do, so I collected them.

These sticks just weren’t the same.

Spinning them with Mind wasn’t the same either.

“Mother?”

“Yes, Beatrice?”

“Have you decided?”

No, no, I hadn’t decided. Nearly an hour had passed since the discovery of Bedivere’s betrayal, and I hadn’t decided on a punishment.

There was so much wrong with what he had done. And yet, what sort of punishment would befit the crime? The decision was only made more difficult by the two bees I had been arguing with nonstop.

“Would you again consider my proposal? Bedivere’s actual actions caused no harm,” she grimaced, “he needs punishment for not notifying you. It is unforgivable. In that case, I believe he should be suspended from duty until further notice.”

“Yes, it is unforgivable. But is that enough punishment? His actions haven’t caused any harm yet. It’s not enough.”

“…I think it is. He is ultimately benefiting the hive. In my opinion, it absolves him of the betrayal. If you must administer punishment, a temporary suspension is more than enough.”

Not an inch of progress. These were the same arguments over and over again.

I peered out of a hole in the wall. Beatrice and I were discussing the matter of Bedivere’s punishment in an empty, unclaimed room in the hive. Maybe I could take this room for myself. It wasn’t very big, but it was cozy. It was also close to both the nursery and food storage areas. Probably close enough that Bess could knock over a few walls and connect the rooms.

Outside, fifteen warriors hovered in a circle, surrounding Bedivere and Beryl. A quick questioning revealed that none of them had been aware of Bedivere’s plan save for Beryl. I suppose she had already endeared herself to him as a little sister who shared his interests. The Link was plenty of evidence to determine the truthfulness of their statements.

Beryl would be punished, but not as harshly. She was just as guilty as a conspirator, but I couldn’t justify a harsher punishment when she had practically been born yesterday.

On that note, there was Bedivere. When I had forced Bedivere to at least reveal why he had kept the plan a secret, he had nothing to say except this: “You would have disagreed.”

Really? No shit I would have disagreed; had he even read his own Ability? A single stumble and he, along with the four children, would have suffered unknown consequences. And what about himself? His Mind was permanently crippled now. Did he think weakening the second-greatest power in the hive would be worth it?

Or… was that part of his justification? Of how his actions were purely selfless?

“Beatrice, I want you to help me. Come up with further punishment for Bediviere that will teach him his error.”

I wasn’t leaving room open for debate this time. Beatrice hesitated. I could feel she disagreed with my decision and wanted to fight it. She was, in the end, a bee. Bedivere had helped the hive, and that was what a bee did.

I, on the other hand, was not a bee. Not really. Not yet.

“Of course, Mother. I will.”

_________

“Let’s get this over with. There are far more important things I should be doing.”

I had put off my research in matters of Mind for long enough. Now that the last batch of bees would be born at some unknown point, I had some time.

In truth, this whole situation made it perfectly clear that I was massively under-prepared as a proper caretaker and leader.

“Very well, Mother. Ahem,” Beatrice buzzed forward. Nearly every bee in the hive was here, watching the two who had done something worthy of the hive’s first punishment. It was, unfortunately, a momentous occasion.

“Beryl. You have conspired with Bedivere to achieve his own goals behind Mother’s back. Behind the hive’s back. However, you have not performed any intolerable actions and only became involved at the behest of one with higher authority than yourself. As such, your punishment shall be more lenient. All of your meals shall be taken in solitude for one week.”

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Beryl’s eyes shot up, more in surprise than upsetness. She was sad, certainly, but not devastated. I sighed. Punishments in a hive like this were a bit… odd to me. Due to their nature as bees, I couldn’t dole out easy punishments like ‘clean the ditches’ or ‘drop and give me twenty!’ Apparently, the bees would actually see stuff like that as a reward. Of course they would. Self-improvement helped the hive. Assisting the hive in any way was a bee’s dream and purpose.

So instead, I had gone along with Beatrice’s suggestion of solitary meals. Apparently, the family eating together had become quite popular, so it was a fairly notable, if light, punishment. I had a feeling - no, I knew - Beatrice was letting Beryl off lightly. Perhaps too lightly. One week was barely any time at all, and the punishment wasn’t harsh, to begin with. It seems she didn’t follow my every order to the letter like I had assumed.

It was comforting, in a way. It made her feel more real.

But there was a difference between that and betrayal.

“Bedivere,” her eyes became much colder, “your actions are considered by Mother, our queen, ruler, and matriarch, to have been deplorable. You acted with noble intentions, but the action is considered taboo.”

She breathed in. She was getting angry and trying to calm down. The other bees watched with their own breaths bated. They hadn’t really reacted to Beryl’s punishment; it seemed fair and without much suffering. This was the main event.

“However. The true depravity of your actions was in your decision to perform such actions without the input or consent of the queen. You have overestimated your loyalty and overstepped your station. As a result,” she spoke clearly, “you shall not only receive the same punishment as Beryl, but shall also be suspended from duty as the master of hive security. Until the queen deems it appropriate to lift your sentence, you shall have no command over the forces of the hive, and your authority shall be stripped.”

The crowd whispered. It was harsh. Bedivere had practically been born to lead the hive in battle. As a bee, his work was his life. However, it wasn’t as bad as it seemed.

A more devastating punishment would have been to prevent him from fighting, and, by extension, guard the hive. We had purposefully worded the declaration so Bedivere could still fight if he needed to. Logically, I knew he was loyal. Letting him fight wasn’t a problem, and I wasn’t about to hold back our greatest military asset over an internal issue. However…

“There are two more stipulations,” Beatrice continued, “You shall never again use your new Ability, {Transmutation Stinger}, nor shall you attempt to create, use, or otherwise study any similar or related Abilities.”

That was a given. The Ability was way too risky and damaging. A small portion of the crowd stirred, but not in surprise at the punishment. Most had already learned of the new Ability and likely agreed it was dangerous enough to ban its use. The few that expressed doubt were the oldest hive members, the ones who had lived the most. Except for Ben. Ben was just being sad.

The question on their minds was this: How would I enforce such a punishment? Doing away with the fact that Bedivere would most likely never go against this demand anyways, the more experienced bees instead thought of the ‘how.’ How would I prevent the use of an Ability? Was I capable of doing so?

Honestly, I wasn’t sure. I had an idea, but for now, just add it to the list of things to try; god knows that thing wasn’t long enough.

“The final punishment is the most severe,” Bedivere hadn’t moved the entire time during Beatrice’s speech, but at those words, he stirred, “Bedivere. You will have no command, direction, or close interaction with the four unborn guards outside their direct training. Their Links to you will be restricted and carefully monitored. This will similarly last until the queen deems it necessary.”

Bedivere shot up, startling the crowd. That same crowd was going crazy, the whispers accelerating and spreading. Well, most of the crowd couldn’t actually speak or think really, so they just kept buzzing.

I knew this would get him. Beatrice had suggested something similar, and I thought it was a perfect idea. It was a strict punishment, and one directly related to the betrayal. The four warriors were Bedivere’s pride and joy. They would be a collection of royal guards he could control, a practically unbeatable fighting force he could use to defend the hive. To defend me.

And in some way, they were his most precious younger siblings. Restricting portions of the hive mind? Cutting off one of the bees from their family? It was rough for them.

Not allowing Bedivere to interact with them specifically outside of training had been difficult to decide. I had suggested changing it to complete separation, but Beatrice vehemently refuted my suggestion. She reasoned that his training was essential to the hive’s future, and that not allowing him to train the four guards in the early stages would ultimately weaken them. I had to agree. I wanted to punish Bedivere, not the four warriors.

Bedivere looked like he wanted to say something, but he looked at me and froze before he could. Did he see something in my face? My eyes? I don’t know, but his horrified look turned into a solemn one.

“Yes, my queen. Yes, lord Beatrice. I formally apologize for my transgressions,” he finally said in a hushed tone. Beryl followed his example and said the same.

I then whispered privately to Bedivere, “Know this, Bedivere. Those punishments are practically superficial. Without real consequence.”

I could see a tear form in his eye. He knew where I was going with this.

“No, the real punishment is something else. It’s the rift you have torn in my trust.”

Eventually, they would redeem themselves. Or at least, Queen had told me to trust that they would.

_____________

I was left alone in the empty room. Again. No, that was wrong. I would never be alone again.

After that whole spectacle, I immediately retreated to my room and told Beatrice to get everyone working again. Plus, I reminded her about the fun new activity she would be doing with Bess.

To her disappointment, I hadn’t been joking.

I was considering my own place in the hive. Beatrice could pretty much do everything. Every day I became more of a figurehead, just laying eggs and not much else. I was confident I would eventually unlock some sort of queen bee subtype, and what then?

“Again you underestimate our importance.”

Admittedly I was understating my role, but it wasn’t enough.

Once again, I had been naive. This time was worse. Instead of lacking trust, I had given it. And the worst part? My trust had, in theory, not been broken. I had trusted Bedivere to do his duty and protect the hive, and in his mind, that is precisely what he did.

I had messed up. I had begun treating the bees like fully grown people, but they weren’t. They were adults who had lived for a week or so. It wasn’t something natural, so I suppose it was hard to blame myself for misunderstanding.

There was one thing that made me realize this. Beryl’s name. Bedivere had access to memories and thoughts of mine from the hive mind Link, and he had come up with a unique name based on something real from my world. It was a good name, one I was disappointed not to have come up with myself.

Now. Was Bedivere me?

No. Despite having some degree of access to my knowledge and memories, he was very clearly Bedivere, a unique individual. But if Bedivere only had my knowledge and little to no knowledge of his own, what did that mean for Bedivere?

Something he had said stuck out to me: “The world is large. I have learned that since my birth.” That was information and a conclusion he had come to himself.

Basically, Bedivere was like a baby. Or maybe a guy who spent entirely too much time in front of his computer without leaving the house. He lacked real experience.

That was where my mistake was. I had over-emphasized my trust and decision for individuality, but that wasn’t enough. The bees needed more guidance - they were freaking bees. Forget problems with their tasks or jobs; the real impact would be mental. They would have an unsophisticated understanding of others, acting on instinct, basic knowledge, and whatever effect personality has.

How could I help? I wasn’t some sort of professional lifeform - I had already died once! What did I know about living? I needed a better way of helping and teaching them. But how?

Maybe if I had, like, a self-help book or something. Perhaps a video on how to raise children. Or… I could control them more closely, like a true hive mind.

“And you plan to do something so drastic using Mind. Again retreating to hide from the world,” Queen sighed, “I will indulge you for now. Whatever you manage to do, I am happy to help.”

“Oh, I’ll need your help, Queen. After all, you’re the one who inspired me. “

“Did I? How flattering.”

Before Queen could say anything, I used Compartmentalization to separate us. She was still talking, and I could still hear her, but I wasn’t… focusing on her. Now, I was truly alone.

I looked out the ‘window’ again. I wonder if Bess could make some sort of transparent glass-like thing? My window being a hole in the wall was a bit uncomfortable.

“Grah! Finally! Ugh… Do you know how difficult it was to get in here?”

“Sup. Don’t worry; I know everything you were just saying.”

“I know you know, but it is weird! Talking to you, and you hear and understand me, but you aren’t listening to me!”

“Well, now that you’re here, I’ll just go back.”

“Seriously?! I did all this for nothi-“

I undid the compartment, my focus returning to normal. This was the trick Queen had invented.

A trick I intended to thoroughly exploit.