“First. You must promise that, if you learn how to perform such accursed techniques, no fernen will ever be subject to them. Ever. Second, no fernen will ever learn how to perform these techniques themselves. This is knowledge I would not want to infect the Mind of my brethren. In fact, I would hope that you do not teach these techniques to anybody. Perhaps you may deign to present the knowledge to your family, but I would hope it would make its way to no other. I cannot imagine the horrors that might arise if those humans were to get a hold of such a thing.”
I listened to Feltan’s concerns, nodded along, and pretended to think of an answer for a little while. Honestly, was there even a question? Those weren’t unreasonable requests at all; in the first place, I hadn’t planned to use Mind-transfer powers further than giving Queen a body of her own to control.
As for sharing the knowledge? I mean, was there ever any doubt that I’d selfishly guard the secret for myself? Of that, Feltan never had to worry. Giving this power to the fernen, let alone the humans, would be like making the already enormous target over my head into a sign that said ‘Hello! Please take over my body!’.
No, this was all for a single purpose. Though Feltan’s concerns were definitely not unfounded, I had already thought of the same things, and was prepared to guard the knowledge. If I kept what I learned securely inside my own Mind, protected as it was by the CBU, it would minimize any potential damage that could be done. And at the very least, Queen would be here to keep me sane.
“Ah yes. Rely on me, who is about to inhabit a new body, to keep you in check. However will you manage when I am gone, Enno?”
Speaking of all this, how are you feeling, Queen? After all, this is going to be affecting you. Should we still go through with this?
“In truth, my concerns have not abated at all. If you’re wondering whether I still want my own body, then hell yes. It amazes me that you still cannot comprehend what it is like to have an imbecile like yourself controlling MY body.”
Imbecile is a strong word. I’d prefer something like ‘moron’, or the much simpler ‘idiot’ thanks very much.
“Every time my arms move, I’m not moving them. But I am at the same time. Because you are me and I am you. Every time my missing arm itches a certain way, I have the urge to scratch it, but I can’t. Then you go to scratch the itch, but it wasn’t me. Every time we grow hungry, we eat, but I am not truly eating; you are. When you hugged the Valkybees, I felt their embrace and relished in it, but it was not my arms wrapped around them. And yet, they were my arms, and I was embracing them. We may be connected, but this isn’t something I can describe or even make you feel. It is unfathomable.”
There was a slight hesitation in Queen’s rant, like there was something more she wanted to add. But she let herself stop abruptly with a huff. This was exactly why I wanted - no, needed - to help her have a body of her own. All those emotions, everything she felt, well, I felt them too. We were, as she said, one and the same, after all. Maybe she could argue that there was no way for me to really know how she felt, but at the very least, I always felt her desperation. It was my own desperation.
“Ahem?”
“Yes, yes, I know, Feltan. I agree with your requests. Don’t you worry your little fernen head. Can we get started now?”
Feltan shook his head, slowly rose to his feet, and waved his arm, encouraging me to follow. Wasn’t he getting a little too familiar with me? It wasn’t something I thought about, but I’d gotten pretty used to lording over others. The only reason I wondered about this was because as he led me back towards the forest, away from the center of the temporary fernen encampment, we passed several other fernen who were hard at work moving large rocks and dirt around, and each one looked at me with genuine fear radiating off them. I could straight up feel the emotion from their Minds, it was so strong. There were a select few fernen, like Feltan’s friend Follo, who didn’t ooze fear so openly, but even they were clearly wary and respectful. At least when my main body was here, which had only happened a couple times when I came to train my Mind. So for Feltan to be so brazen in our interactions, wasn’t that a bit odd? Was a couple of eye-to-eye conversations with me all it took for someone to realize I had no idea what I was doing?
With a start I realized I was missing a critical piece of the Mind-transfer puzzle, so rather than attempting to exert any fine control, I felt for where Yelah’s body was a few dozen meters away and lifted it up with my Mind, her limp limbs dangling as she flew over the fernen camp. That got another round of fearful looks.
Feltan whooped from far ahead. “Come, Highqueen. If we are to do this, we should go where no fernen will see.”
Keeping up with his monkey-like movements was tough enough already, but he was really in his element within the forest, even if he was trudging along like he was walking to his own funeral. He still moved with the grace his ape-like limbs afforded him. I could only imagine what it would be like trying to chase him if the trees were full and healthy and he had plenty of sturdy branches to swing from. We traveled for more than an hour like that, and all I could do was thank the Bee that I didn’t have to use my little wings to keep up. If there were anyone around, the sight of a stout, shrub-like fernen dashing through the trees, whooping all the while, chased by a queen bee as a limp human body flew through the air just behind would surely have caused a few head-scratches. It was strange that this was my normal reality now, but I’d long since accepted it. Amazing how the most unusual things can begin to seem normal.
Feltan stopped abruptly, and I nearly overshot him, but I thankfully saved myself the embarrassment. He sat heavily on a nearby stone and began to talk as I set Yelah’s body down nearby.
“Like I said, I’m not really sure if I’ll be able to help you with this. Not necessarily because of my moral and sensibilities, but it just seems impossible. Improbable, I should say. I do not doubt that Mind can be the key to many things, but Mind itself is squarely in the realm of the gods. And the Fernen has not communed with us directly, it is said, since the advent of the second Highchief.”
“But you do think it might be possible,” I said. “Or else you would have flat out refused me with that reasonable argument. Presumably.”
“Well, as I said, Mind should be the key to all things. And I would have refused, had you not brought up that one singularly compelling point. But you said there were two more. If they are anywhere near as convincing as the one you told me, then it may be feasible.”
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He waggled his staff, the one he carried with him everywhere, which apparently was the sign of his status as the Lowchief, and a circle seemed to magically draw itself in the dirt. His other hand was reserved for wearily rubbing his forehead like the simple fact of my existence gave him a massive headache.
“The Shroud Father - or as you so bluntly call it, the ‘Vulch’ - possessed a unique Ability the fernen feared above all others. I never experienced it myself, but I have spoken to other fernen who have survived encounters with the Shroud. One of them, an elder of ours, was part of a contingent of guards in his youth, tasked with deterring the Shroud from encroaching on our territory. He experienced it for a moment, only a flash. He was never able to control his Mind properly again.
The circle in the dirt now sported a bird-like face with one of its eyes featured prominently.
“He is one of the few to have ever survived an encounter with the Shroud Father, but stories of the White World pervade our children’s bedsides. It is said the Shroud Father can consume your Mind simply by looking at you, degrading it until you die, and he will use that energy to make the Shroud grow darker. And you, apparently, encountered it twice, escaped it, and destroyed him from within it. And you now believe it to be one piece of evidence for the capability to transfer Minds.”
Boy, the fernen sure did like their proper nouns. To be fair, the ‘White World’ was an awesome way to refer to the milky-white expanse the Vulch had trapped me in all that time ago. I nodded along to Feltan’s recounting, considering that it was more for his sake than anything. I didn’t know what the fernen whispered about the Vulch’s weird Ability, but they had the basic gist of it as far as I could tell.
He tapped his chin with his staff. “It is possible that with your more powerful Mind, you were not so easily absorbed. But the fact that he was able to draw you into his White World so easily despite that difference speaks to its power as an Ability. And you truly believe this was a transferal of Mind?”
That was exactly right. Obviously, there was no way of knowing the particulars of how the Vulch’s Ability worked, but my experience was pretty explicit. When he had done the thing and trapped me in his eye, both Queen and I had appeared there. It was possible that he just trapped our consciousness somewhere or something along those lines, but how different was that from Mind, really? If the Vulch could move Minds around like that, then there must be a way to do it.
“Pretty much. But that also connects to my second idea: my own Mind. Specifically, the Kin Link and the… mental helper I have. I’ve been able to do some crazy stuff with my Mind, not least of which is the way I escaped the Vulch’s Ability in the first place. I was basically able to pull my Mind back to my body! Plus, the Link allows for some really weird stuff to happen. I’m able to read Linked creatures Minds, feel their emotions, even transfer information to them. If the Kin Link - which is a Lock, not an Ability - allows me to bridge between Minds, there has to be something there we can use.”
I trusted Feltan. To a degree. He and his fernen were essentially subservient to me. But I still felt uncomfortable sharing too much information with him. The CBU wasn’t the issue; I just didn’t think he’d understand what I would mean when talking about a computer-inspired Mind processor. But talking too openly about Combined Minds felt disquieting, to say the least. I imagined there was something I could use there as well, but I played it safe and only tell him about the other parts of my plan he absolutely needed to know.
“Hmph. Not bad, per se. Of what you mentioned, the Kin Link does seem like a strong piece of evidence. Besides, if the Kin Link were able to resolve the issue, you would surely have used it to your leisure already.”
He drew another two circles and filled one in with a bunch of squiggles. I suppose that represented the Link? Not to be an art critic or anything, but there must have been a better way to represent the Kin Link. I also noticed that he had begun to squirm. He already seemed uncomfortable with this whole situation, but the more we talked about it, the more unsure he appeared.
“Though this brings into question your motives. I’d refrained from asking, but this has me curious. If you are able to control others as you please with the Link, why go through this trouble at all?” He glanced at Yelah’s body. “Is there some grand benefit to putting your own Mind in this vessel? Personally, I don’t see the appeal.”
I hesitated. True, the exact reasoning behind this project wasn’t something I’d revealed to Feltan, which was probably why he was so insistent on getting my promise not to use it for certain purposes. But…
“Oh, just tell him. What is the harm? Keeping secrets from our collaborator will only make the process more frustrating. What is he going to do?”
“Well, you see, it’s not for me. I guess it technically is for me, but not the me that’s talking to you right now. Another part of me, who is someone else.”
Feltan’s eyes had long since glazed over. Look man, I know it’s confusing, but it’s just the way things ended up. We’re trying to simplify things over here, so just bear with me.
“Basically, there’s another part of me that is still in many ways independent. But all she can really do is talk to me from inside my own Mind. That part of me wants to be able to live freely, move their own body, etcetera. And doing this is going to fix that.”
“This… seems like an extreme measure. Have you tried lutice weed? I despise the stuff, but my father swears by it. Finds it soothing. I believe I have heard of other fernen who sometimes hear voices of peers who are nowhere to be seen-“
“This is different. There is actually, legitimately, another me in me.”
He tapped his chin again. For some reason, I felt like he didn’t believe me. Stop asking questions and just help me perform abominable dark magics already!
“If that is truly the case, does this not seem like an extreme measure? Designing a power perhaps never-before seen, simply to give this ‘other you’ some agency? Why not simply share?”
“I want my own damn body! Sharing custody with this imbecile - excuse me, this ‘idiot’ - would simply not do. I’m already compromising by allowing you to use my actual body, damn it.”
“Yeah, I don’t think she likes the idea of sharing. She’s been relegated to the background since forever, so I don’t think a compromise is in the cards for her. Besides, we have no idea how that would work in the first place. As far as I know, multiple Minds can’t inhabit one body. It’s straight up unnatural. There are special circumstances that allow us to even exist as it is. Moving back towards something more natural seems to make more sense, at least in terms of a working solution. There’s precedent to moving Mind around, and to keeping them somewhere separate. Again, if multiple Minds can’t inhabit the same body, what was the Vulch doing? Not keeping Minds in his body, just moving them somewhere. And then there’s the third key.”
I pointed to Yelah’s body and made her give a little wave. The result was stiff and morbid. Feltan shuddered.
“Is she your third piece of evidence? How cruel can you get?”
“I mean, she wasn’t really, not before I made it possible to control her body by suppressing her Mind. No, I was thinking more along the lines of her Ability, [Friendly Immersion]. It lets her share consciousness with a penguin.”
“A what?”
“Exactly. Her friendly giant penguin can somehow share her senses, and they can even share other things like physical capability. I’d argue there’s something there to look at for being able to transfer and host Minds between different bodies. It’s the whole reason I chose her for a vessel in the first place, and figured out how to suppress her Mind. If she’s somehow already capable of something similar, maybe by combining everything we know, we can get it to work with her body as a vessel.”
Feltan looked at Yelah’s body again. I made it wave again. It was stiff and unnatural. Feltan shuddered much more deeply than before. Despite that, he drew a rough facsimile of a human woman in the third circle. These were my three pieces of evidence; now we just needed to figure out how to connect them all to achieve our goal.