Watching Ben and the others leave Lemonholm, I let out a breath that felt like I had been holding for years. The whole ordeal was worse than Yiwi, I think. Yeah, definitely a million times more stressful for me and my bees. But it was over, and the sigh of relief I was finally able to let out seemed to resonate throughout the hive. I remembered to send a little buzz of encouragement to our triumphant pair of bees, hoping to give them a little bit of a boost so they could return to the hive in a timely manner.
Sitting alone in my chambers, not even hatching eggs, I felt useless. No nursery bees entered to ferry away my eggs, no bees were outside my window, and my heart felt empty. I wish I could have done more for ben and Beelzebub. I wish I could have gone in person, done something with all this Mind I have. But I had to stay in the hive. It was my duty. My responsibility eve.
But was I failing at that, too?
For days now, the normally productive and constantly bustling little community I’d built felt stagnant. Stuck. In my old life, I remembered being stressed. But to keep that stress at bay, I would work. I wasn’t a massive fan of working, but maybe that’s why it was effective in making me think less. Not so with the bees. They enjoyed working a bit too much. So the stress actually made them worse at doing work, funnily enough. The thought made me chuckle a bit; I didn’t know how that felt. And so, I thought I’d be different from the bees, and I would get a ton of work done fueled by the insane stress caused by the Knights being within bayonetting distance of my bees. But to my annoyance, I noticed my productivity plummet too.
My beeness was really reaching new heights.
But in terms of what actually happened at Lemonholm, I finally felt able to look at it with objective eyes. While it was happening, all I wanted was for my bees to stay safe and gather as much intel as possible. Or, at least, do their best in the situation they found themselves. The innocuous little journey turning into a murder mystery with cults and knights and fear lemons was definitely not on the docket. Maybe I should just be expecting the unexpected from now on? But how can I expect something that can’t be expected?
“Who cares about all of that? I’m just glad the children are alive. Plus, we’ve struck a blow, even if it is small, against the Knights. If we actually maintain the hold over Lahim, this entire ordeal could end up being considered a success.”
I know you hate the Knights, but I really don’t know if I’d call what just happened a success. Besides, we have no way of knowing what actually happened to them. Jey was pretty messed up, but the other Knights probably ended up being fine. If anything, this could actually be terrible for us. We had to let the Knights and even Muweh get away, knowing about us bees to some degree. I’d think you’d be more concerned.
“Like I said, I’m just glad the children made it out in one piece.”
But we gotta think about the big picture here. Like, what did we actually get out of this? We Linked Lahim, who can be instilled as the de facto leader of Lemonholm, so we can use him to get tons of lemons. I mean, that’s pretty good, to be fair. We need tons of food, and Lemonholm’s supply of fruit would be a pretty big boon. Plus, there was that thing Beatrice mentioned about keeping the unLinked humans of Yiwi happy by getting them some delicious lemons. And I guess I leveled up my new healing Ability some, which is great because it’s apparently a total lifesaver. But like, is that it?
“To be fair, did we really expect to get much more than lemons from a place called Lemonholm? Besides, there are some things you haven’t considered. You still lack awareness.”
If you mention the Knights-
“No, you dope. Our bees. Think of Ben and Beelzebub. As unfortunate as it may be, hardship hardens us. Both of them have come out of the ordeal stronger, in more ways than one. I would have liked them to grow in a more peaceful way, but I am glad that they have emerged stronger than before, more able to survive in this harsh world. The same is true for the other bees. Watching what happened to their family will change them. Hopefully for the better. If our family is more able to survive, that is all I could ask for.”
Is that why I feel kinda happy? I was really expecting to go all ballistic. Go on a campaign to destroy those Knights or something, but instead I’m actually weirdly grateful to them. I don’t like this. I should feel more angry, or maybe worried. But I’m actually glad. It kinda pisses me off.
“You care more about the bees than you abhor other things. It is natural.”
I guess so. I’m just relieved neither of them are overly traumatized or changed by the events. Like, Ben is just sort of thinking about how he can look at more things but still handle himself if needed, since the world is pretty crazy. And Beelzebub - well, Beelzebub was always a bit of a whack-job. It’s interesting though. Both of them have the same idea. They learned stuff from the battle. Oh man, if Ben actually figures out how to copy Jey’s prediction thing, that would be awesome. But boy, those guys were scary.
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“Indeed. I hoped that seeing Knights from a different, distant perspective would reveal that they aren’t so terrifying, but I was mistaken. I am truly lucky to have survived an encounter with them.”
Seriously, you lucked out. If only four of those guys could easily handle arguably my strongest bee while they were weakened, handicapped, and on the back foot… an army of them would destroy the hive.
It’s a good thing the hive is growing. The dome is nearly complete, which will give Bess time to work on other parts of the hive, toughening it up and making improved infrastructure. And our numbers… could be better. Once the lemons start coming in, there’ll be some leeway, but I just can’t keep up anymore. I can only produce so many eggs of so many types at a time, even if I were to have infinite resources.
“Maybe if you spent less time on that focus training with Feltan, you would have hatched enough eggs to level up the Ability enough to create queens.”
Hey now. That focus training is important as hell. Beelzebub used it to great effect, so it doesn’t even apply to just me. Getting every bee in the hive to learn to focus will expand our power immensely. Besides, do you want a body or not?
Queen grumbled, which meant I won. Of course. I was so close to figuring out how to make it so her Mind was the one primarily in control of Yelah’s body, and it was thanks to the focusing training. But something was missing, and I just couldn’t figure it out. Maybe now that the situation in Lemonholm was resolved, I’d be able to think clearly enough to figure it out. But working with a Mind was completely different in scale from working with Mind. If that makes any sense.
There were many signs that it would be problematic. That a god had to create an entire Ability just so two Minds could coexist in one body was the real kicker. So how was I supposed to figure out managing Minds? It really seemed like an impossible task.
But things had changed. For all the hardship Lemonholm caused us, it was really enlightening. The way the Knights used Mind was nothing short of amazing. They were so creative, so flexible, so capable. Humans had developed techniques to create entire barriers using Mind by using freaking math. And it wasn’t like the barrier could just be a physical wall of force, either. An invisible membrane that could detect presences? And none of them had an Ability that allowed them to do it. It was just something that had been figured out, and that could be adapted on the fly. Mind could really be used for just about anything.
The fernen were creative with Mind, no doubt about it. Feltan had even criticized me for my close-mindedness. But the humans, or, at least, the Knights, were on a whole other level. It had taken too much to even put a dent in them. Everything from their weapons to Greyan’s transforming armor to their combat skills. And don’t get me started on Muweh. The MIS were in a different league in terms of their deviousness. I had plenty of questions of ol’ Bobby, that was for sure.
But there were two things that we learned in Lemonholm that really were the things that turned the tables. Two things that might provide the hints I needed to figure out how to work with Minds. Two things I have been specifically avoiding because they freaked me the hell out.
The gods.
“I’m still not sure. I may not have much more experience in this world than you, but to think that the gods themselves would descend is utter madness. They exist only within our Minds, not as true beings. At least, that is what I think.”
No, these gods really did appear, I’m sure of it. The scream… it was not something I would ever forget. It was etched into my Mind, my very soul. I remembered little what happened in between my death in my original world and my arrival here, but I definitely remember that noise. That was the Human. The Human themself had somehow possessed Jey’s body and freaking chased Ben around. I wonder how he would feel if I told him he outran a god?
“But if that was truly the human, what does that mean?”
To be honest, I’m not sure. I actually don’t know much about the gods in this world. All I know is some vague fragments and my own experiences. And my own experiences tell me the Human is kinda a dick. I mean, do you remember when they specifically called us out for checking on what the Humanity Factor was supposed to be? That was freaky. Plus, all of humanity is influenced by the Human to some degree.
“It is strange how little we know.”
Right? You’d think with all the humans I have Linked, I’d know a lot more. But all I understand is some vague religious practices and beliefs, and most of it is just basic stuff. Oh, you’re telling me people believe the Human created humans? Shocker there. I guess I haven’t Linked a priest or something, so I might have to do that to get some info. But people really believe in the gods with all their heart, with no doubt or need for stories or anything. It’s sort of bizarre.
“Don’t you believe? We have the messages in our head to tell us everything. It is clearly the work of the gods.”
Sure, but is that all people want? Forget what they need, humans want to know things. They love knowing that the thing they worship is great for reasons they can understand, like some great acts of heroism or miracles or something.
“I suppose the miracle of Mind is plenty.”
Maybe. But until we learn more about the gods, it doesn’t change how much we learned. The feeling of Jey’s Mind was so distinct in that moment, I could almost feel when the Human descended. And I wasn’t even there! But that wasn’t the real kicker. There was a second thing we learned in Lemonholm. I had felt a human die, his Linker curling up in response. It was quick, almost immediate. And then, just as quickly, he had changed. Something had appeared and changed his Mind. Our resident Drevan wasn’t quite the same, and I suspected a god had something to do with it.
The question remained: what did they want with me?