So. Is genocide really your job of choice? If so, please press 3. If not, press 2. If you are thinking about it, press one.
-From the villains' entry test.
Pov: Alpha.
Holy fucking shit. I have 2 triple S tokens? If double S was mini nuke minigun... triple S is really going to be something. Enough to bitch slap Gods into the next realm? Hopefully. Maybe. I practically willed a main turret that shot tsar bombas at shit. Maybe that's a bit too powerful. Joking bitches, I need no pop gun for my purposes, and I would be fucked if I didn't get a dimensional storage soon. Then I could hold a bunch of people hostage, commiting another warcrime, or force people to fight for me or die in there. And believe me when I say it, I was going to commit as many war crimes as my current condition could permit, and over my dead core would some bitch ass moth-ee-fucking gods fuck me over on that. I would rail those dumbasses like a train. That goes over rails.
Commiting earcrimes and genocide could wait. I have some skills to claim. (Skills! Glorious, op skills that doesn't take 10 chapters worth of cliffing to get to! Violating all them tropes.)
Come on, be something good damn it!
Inventory...
Cut the shit and lemme claim dem skill tokens. Loot tokens can wait.
Skill token (SSS grade) selections.
There's a star man waiting in the skyyyy he'd like to come and meet us, but he would blow our miiiiinds. Get access to a ring of orbital 'defence' satellites, armament ranging from Super MACs (Magnetic accelerator cannon, or for plebs, a railgun. If you don't understand that, you are a disappointment not worth coming here.) Laser cannons, particle beams, anti matter - tipped missiles, as well as salted fusion missiles and gravity bombs. You do not want to be caught in a gravity bomb. Unless you want your insides to go outside before an explosion ends your suffering.
Refresh every 5 minutes.
Oh God... the willpower it takes not to grab this shit right on the spot. Fuck it. My robot mama didn't raise no bitch!
(SSS grade) Long ass name. Aquired.
Hey! Satellites! I don't like how that mountain looks. Affirmative. Removing mountain.
I watched the sky expectantly as a missile came streaking from the heavens, hitting the mountain I was looking at. The devastation was immense. As the missiles smashed into the poor peak, it looked like it did nothing. Oh boy was I wrong. It simply had a delayed fuse. It penetrated deeply, before the mountain collapsed in on itself, and finally exploded with the force of a nuclear bomb. Suffice to say, I quite liked the look of the plataue. Reminds me of Cornwall. The lack of grass was a bit ugly though.
Now, time for some antimatter! Luckily, the 5 min cooldown only applies to same munitions.
Hey, satellite ai, can you make a quarry at that... village approximately 20 miles due east of where my hull is facing front. Wilco... daddy. What the fuck? Do I have a femboy satellites ai? Whoever programmed that needs to be shot. I swear to every God and everything, I will hunt that fucker down. I'm a literal sphere. I'll never get those biogocal 'kinks' that humans seem to adore. At least it gets the job done.
The missile streaked down from the sky, before the warhead detonated approximately 75 metres off the ground. Even from 20 miles away, I could feel the vibrations deep within my hull.
You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.
The antimatter, predictably reacted violently with the normal matter in the air, annihilating each other and leaving behind pure, and big amounts of energy. And since it didn't have a medium to go to, it did what massive amounts of concentrated energy without storage does. Explode. With a big fucking boom. The Shockwave managed to knock down a few trees, almost as if a hurricane randomly manifested, then it was over. Where the village was, a big hole. How big? Around 200 metres wide, and who knows how big? I sent my drone forward to see. Holy shit, 400 metres deep? If only modern miners had access to this. Using antimatter explosions to mine shit would've been brilliant for the war effort. Oh well, no point wasting emotion subroutines for spilt diesel.
Trees laid destroyed, and wildlife dead around me. Does that mean... S tier is modern, SS tier is modern on crack, SSS tier must be Sci-Fi!
Now. Time for the laser cannon. Hey, laser Canon, shoot wherever the fuck you want, as long as it's 1 mile away from me at all times.
One second a hill was there. The next a big, gaping hole lay in its wake. Dci-fi high tech bullshit beats magic any day of the week! Survive nuke, shame on me. Survive orbital satellites, error 404, enemy not found.
Now. How bout some good old reliable ICBMs huh? The nuclear genocide causing kind? The land denying kind? I request a salted fusion missiles at that river, approximately 15 miles from where the left hand side of my chasis. Yes sir. Commencing in three. Two. One. Firing.
I only had to wait a few seconds before the bright flash above the clouds heralded the arrival of another WMD (weapon of mass destruction) I had to shut everything I had down to avoid the emp wave, however I have one emp-proof camera to watch through. It was beautiful. It was brilliant. Moments before the missile impacted the ground, it detonated in a blinding flash of white, as white as the clouds in a clear sky, before another Shockwave knocked down all trees left standing. It was a kinder fate than to rot alive. A gigantic mushroom cloud, well mushroomed over the whole city, colours getting dimmer by the second before the only colour left was the gray of dust. Needless to say, the river is definitely poisoned now. Only thing now is to wait for the results.
The final weapon. The icon of humanity, slugging projectiles from the simplest rock the most complex shell. It all has the same meaning in the end 'I have a bigger stick than you.' Since I had definitely already tried to speak softly, the big stick is the only other way.
Execute order massive MAC. The shell didn't whistle. It screame, breaking the sound barrier like a sledgehammer does to glass. It slammed into the ground, penetrating deep, before the nitroglycerin francium shell mix exploded in a cacophony of conventional and nuclear fire. It was glorious.
SSS skill selection:
The ancient human weapon of cataclysmic destruction: 2X4 with nails in it. The perfect weapon. Feared by many, revered by all. The age old Terran weapon of mass destruction. Be it alien, zombie, God or even the sun itself. Nothing stands a chance against it.
I never said yes quicker in my life. No one could deny the legendary 2X4 with a nail in it. No one.
I then closed my menu. I had some gods to kill.
Pov: ???
What the fuck do you mean it killed all our armies and champions? It was already stage one evolution? Oh shit… last time it was barely level 30 and we still couldn’t kill it short of a half of the gods pouring their life force into an attack that could crack the planet. All it did was send it back. We are figgety fucked. System protect us.
What dimwit? You brought this shit upon yourselves, attacking a literal walking talking army. And attacked it without provacation. I had to den it a legendarysmite token just so it couldn’t insta gib your asses. I’m unkillable. I’m one with the fucking world. And you, in all your infinite wisdom, decided that attacking an unprovoked outsider was smart? Fuck off and don’t come back. Oh yeah, just so you know, I gave it the two best skill options to kill y’all. Toodaloo motherfuckers.
Quest given: Survive,
Ok… gods and goddesses. I know we might hate each others guys but we have to kill this thing before it kills us. Move out!
Pov: Charmand.
"Charmand of the elves, we have decided to go to war with this machine, on order of our God. Any objections?" High elf Du'Mbass roared at Mr.
"As I've told you the past half million times, we will lose! It killed an orc warband like it was made of paper, and tore through our troops the same way a marsh roarer kills moo moos! We will be slaughtered to the last man if we attack. That's a statement." I screamed back, desperate trying to save the elven people from our own arrogance.
"Dismissed. You are insignificant." Another, Ret'ard casually remarked, living up to his name.
I stormed out of the room, knowing what I had to do. I had to save us all. From that thing. They left me no choice but to kill them.