The one thing many comic books and other media alike get wrong is the destructiveness of a nuclear bomb. A nuke, when just detonated, can reach temperatures hotter than 100 million degrees Celsius, which is 4 to 5 times hotter than the centre of the sun. To top that off, it has a radiation level to match. Suffice to say, anything in its immediate blast zone won’t even know they’re dead before it kills them. As for the radiation, it depends if the bomb is salted or not. Salted, radiation can last hundreds of years. Fallout, not the game, is another killer. It completely depends on weather, be it winds, rain, or nothing. High winds, heavy rain is the worst possible combination, or a hurricane, as the radiation not only is carried by air, but seeps into the rain too. Naturally, this fucks shit up. Now, let’s get onto radiation. Imagine what a bullet does to a man. That’s what radiation does to cells, the bomb being the gun, and the plane that dropped it the shooter, or the silo that launched it. That’s not even talking about thermobaric bombs, which quite literally suck your organs out of your mouth, most likely lungs. But that’s for another day.

Class dismissed!

-The effects of a nuclear device, part one, Oxford university 2078.

PoV: Alpha.

Here I ammmmm riding alongggggg to genocideeeee all enimiiies. They won’t surviveee I will thriveee for we are the AI of judgement, my friend! I sung happily as I rolled across the ground, making steady pace towards the centre of the city, to hopefully not reenact what happened last time. Die in a last stand which wasn’t really a last stand. I remembered that u had the drone skill, which I picked early on as a skill but never really used outside the first few hours and days I got it, sure my gun range may not be in miles anymore, but having a good impression of what I’m running into would be healthy, to say the least. On the drone, I could see a little village in the middle of bumfuck nowhere.

There were lights in in the barn, but not much else. Or were those candles? I decided to check it out, and as I got close, I realised that it was a bit too quiet. I decide to go into sneak mode for a bit, fighting against every rational instinct if mine to rush in and murder everyone. Very tempting indeed, but there were moments for that, and moments for professionalism. I went into one of the little houses first, and what I saw almost disgusted me. Almost. Slaughtered Barn’yards, strung up by their feet and left to bleed out upside down, with their throats slit, and eyes lifeless. (I could make this into a weird horror chapter. So that’s what I’ll do. Kind of.) I would imagine the place stunk like something left in the open sun for too long, spoiling it, and I was certain the crusty brown on the floor was not peeling paint. It was blood.

Suddenly, a chainsaw started behind me, and before I could look backwards, a humanoid figure with a burlap sack on their head hoisted a chainsaw above their head, running at me, screaming something in an alien tounge that sounded much like Spanish. Then they started running. I shot my cannon, thinking it would kill them. I was wrong. Blast after blast seemed to fail in even slowing it down, so I had to enact my last resort, the RLF safety plan, or Run Like Fuck. I reversed out of the door, still shooting at the chainsaw thing, when finally, I managed to blow a chunk of flesh off it.

The shit that came off was not in any shape or form, proper flesh. It was warped, corrupted, modified by something beyond my knowledge, and that pissed me off. In a flash, a door behind me flung open, and a pale white humanoid figure began slithering on the ground towards me, teeth promising bloody slaughter.

”Jesus fucking Christ, I’m not paid enough for this shit, I’m not even paid! I’m out I’m out, I’m out! Fuck this shit.” I shouted. I left the house, me still firing, retaking off chunks of the not flesh that was what the things were comprised of. As I left, the scene are warped and changed around me, a human police officer from Spain screamed on a stake as more of those things lit it on fire, burning the poor human alive. Look, I may not be a good being, but one thing that I’ve always hated is meaningless deaths of people I care about, and as far as I was concerned, the fuckers were in my way. Killing a creator, and trying to kill me with some weird shit in their houses. That’s a no go. As I looked down at my character, I began to change into a human wearing a coat, (Don’t worry, for this part only.) holding a pistol, and shit out of luck. I shot at one of the less aggravating things, blowing its head apart in a wonderful mimicking of a watermelon being thrown at the ground at terminal velocities.

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I ran into a house to reload, pushing a shelf in front of the door to create an impromptu barricade, before heading up the stairs to find a way out. What lay before me was certainly beautiful. A trench gun, or a Winchester model 1897, used by the Americans in WW1, the Germans complained about it being too good, so called it a war crime. It was banned for use in WW2 for the same reason. Hard cope by the Germans for not having a proper counter to it. A few boxes of ammo laid inside another cabinet, ready to commit war crimes. Fuck yeah bitches.

I loaded the gun, my inexperience not even affecting the sled in which I loaded, for I maybe do have a fleshy body, but I still have an AI mind, though I preferred the tank, this’ll do. Chainsaw dude attempted to jump in. I fired the gun. Contrary to what you see in games, shotguns do not stop being deadly at 10 metres. Far from it, buckshot having roughly a 35 metre killing range, birdshot 40 metres, slugs 100 metres, and rifled shots well over 150 metres, though rifled shotgun barrels are rarely used, they are still, in fact, used. Unfortunately, the only thing going through the head of my enemies at this point, was some 12 gauge buckshot.

The rounds ripped apart th enemy trying to get through the window, heavy emphasis on trying, as most of the fuckers died while in the frame, falling to the ground below for e tra murder points. Can’t forget the bonus points! I heard the whirring and roaring of a chainsaw, signalling the arrival of my nemesis, chainsaw fuck. “I’d like you to meet my friend here, chainsaw fuck. It’s called a trench gun, but you just call it the tool that will send you to your maker, adios, bitch!” I laughed as I pumped the spent casing out, and shot, snapping his left arm in half and subsequently drop the chainsaw. He decided the next best course of action was to get closer to the guy with a shotgun, which is pretty fucking retarded if I do say so myself. So I said it.

”You are coming towards me, instead of running away?” I jeered, pumping the shotgun yet again.

”How can I kick your ass without getting closer, huh?” The chainsaw dude replied.

”I never knew you felt that way about me! I have a girlfriend though, she’s called Remington, motherfucker!” I giggled as I blasted a gaping hole in his chest, the size of a thick thigh. I pumped again, before calmly reloading my shotgun, switching to my pistol once I was complete. Take. Headshot. Me. Headshot. Back. Headshot. To. Headshot. Reality! Headshot. After having a badass moment, I decided to do the one responsible thing. Tbag the corpses of all the enemy fallen, who seem to disintegrate into ammo and green goop for whatever reason, as well as leave syringes and herbs if the red, green, and yellow variety. Strange.

”Ok. Let me out before I genocide everyone in this simulation with glee, you got it?”mi shouted at the sky. I heard whispers.

”Leg it out, Chris!”

“You know I can’t, Shelley! We just tried to traumatise it!”

“It’s an AI. They can’t be traumatised dumbass.”

”This Shelley character is right yknow? I don’t take offence. Let me keep the shotgun and we can be friends, ok?” I asked politely, calmly even.

”See! The psychotic killer AI agrees with me, and we have a few of those shotguns spare from the printing we did of that police tape, resident evil four and the evil within! (Yes, really. Because it’s funny and I want an excuse for Alpha to come across two weapons, first being the chainsaw, the second being the shotgun, tell me you don’t want to see some Cats ass looking tank or a war robots one? If you don’t, chaos isn’t for you I’m afraid, and the ways of genocide have not reached you properly.)”

”What the fuck do you mean RE4?” I questioned incredulously. Do these fuckwits not have media or games?

”Thats not important! I bestow upon you this shotgun and chainsaw souvenir!” A jingle that sounded very much like the chest opening jingle from a game with a a certain green cloaked MC.

“Uhhh thanks?” I muttered.

”Hippity hoppity, reality is now your property!” The female sounding voice called out.

The world whirled, (yes, the tongue twister is necessary now I bet you said the world whirled aloud, and said the same sounding word twice.) and I was back in reality, with my tank body having two attachments. The shotgun on a swivel mount, electrically connected, above my hatch, while the chainsaw where a coaxial normally would be. Drive me closer! I want to hit them with my chainsaw! Moments will be coming once I meat the enemy. I drove out of the village, ever onwards towards the encroaching city.