“What do you mean?” HAL asked Alissa.
“Why don't you open your windows?” She replied and lifted one of his small cottage windows to let in some fresh air.
“Because there's no need to.” He continued to her in frustration.
“But look at Toby. He's dying for fresh air,” She said as she pointed to the man’s dog standing on its hind legs and enjoying the fresh breeze coming into the room.
“Well why is that? He's a digital dog, he shouldn't care if the window is open in the room or if it's flooded with carbon dioxide,” HAL said walking to his couch and turning on the television, obviously annoyed with the discussion.
“What‽ No!” She said in shock at how dense he can be.
“What do you mean no?” He replied with a touch of indignation.
“HAL, Toby has the immersion patch 7.9!”
“The what?”
“I get you aren't interested in upgrading yourself HAL, and I'm more than patient with that, but there wasn't any reason to limit Toby's experience.”
“You upgraded my dog?” HAL said, bolting upright, still grasping his remote and pointing at her with it to make his annoyance clear, by repeatedly tapping the power button at her.
“Well he was my dog at the time. I had no idea if you were ever coming back. You left everything really up in the air, let’s not forget I rescued him while your environment was being destroyed by that insane friend of yours, you know, when he tried to kill you,” Her frustration built and her reptilian face flushed, the human equivalent to turning red.
“What else did you do to him?” He asked, while crossing the room and looking Toby up and down in close examination.
HAL returned to his coffee table interface, the illuminated panel appearing on the formerly clear glass surface, he pulled up Toby's core script. The screen flooded with the dog’s code.
Toby's code was almost unrecognizable at first, then HAL realized that the boot order and support code had been… “optimized,”
After he caught his footing in the code he explored his companion’s upgrades. His personality routines have been expanded exponentially. No wonder he's been acting funny. He now has a scent library and a limited reply system.
He also needs to use the facilities. Wait. Is that why he's been going outside? She gave him escape protocols?
"Why does he have escape protocols? He's a special service dog," HAL asked Alissa.
"Yeah. I know. I also…" She leaned over HAL's shoulder brushing against him as she pulled up Toby's core protocol to show HAL that it has now been expanded to link with HAL remotely every 10 minutes.
HAL looked at the screen. The programming was art. She had found solutions that previously plagued HAL, preventing him from doing the exact same thing she has done as far as the remote backups. She pointed out that Toby now automatically backs up his own code, which of course aids in HAL’s backup.
“Running a backup remotely through Toby?” He said in awe, it had just been beyond him. Her coding was so elegant and her solutions were genius.
"See? I expanded his backup space to support your growth. I also gave him a remote backup ability. The remote is encrypted and transferred through subspace. He can locate you and back you up…"
Alissa looked back at HAL. "... so I won't lose you again," She said, for a moment tension hung on the air, she was thrilled she had already installed a blush override app into her HUD.
She straightened up and cleared her throat.
"A truly inspired solution you've come up with," HAL answered mechanically.
Alissa caught herself feeling awkward. Then she remembered. HAL is likely on immersion patch 2.1 with basic emotional protocols.
She softly chuckled to herself and returned to HAL's tour of Toby.
"He has a vocal processor?" HAL asked.
"Every dog should be able to bark HAL," Alissa bluffed, but as HAL initiated the protocol manually she knew she was caught.
"Toby. Come here boy," He called the dog.
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"Right away boss!" Toby huffed from the next room.
The dog rounded the corner and the surprise on HAL's face was worth every lecture she's going to get.
Her visual feed was recording her HUD. Toby rounded the corner and HAL just started laughing.
Toby walked from the kitchen on two legs, animated with his blue collar and license bouncing on his chest in an exaggerated state to roughly resemble a man with an oversized chain necklace. His eyes were large and cartoonish. His facial expressions were the same. She had turned Toby into an animated cartoon character.
HAL nearly fell over laughing.
When he collected himself HAL looked at Alissa. “Did you do the same for Bijou?” He inquired about the cat B’hal had chosen as a companion.
Her face lost a little of its joy. She hid it well. “Yes,” She responded briskly.
She tapped the commands to return Toby to his normal beagle form over HAL’s shoulder. Then she straightened out and walked across the room to HAL’s desk. The large lacquer wooden desk is something from an Arthur Conan Doyle novel, it is a testament to HAL’s personality. He had chosen the face of Robin Williams to model his own, but he wasn’t the naturally funny, quick witted comedian of legend. HAL was cold and calculating. He didn’t really know how to live yet.
She opened a file for later review in her HUD. Review the differences between HAL and B’hal.
She reached across the desk and finished her tea. She gave HAL a weak smile. “You know. Guye went all the way to immersion patch 11.2.4 with Edison, the parrot now has the cognitive abilities of a low level AI,”
HAL smiled at the thought of that bird holding at length conversations with people and taking on the bravado of Guye in the process. They both chuckled but filled the moment with silence after.
“Whelp. I should get home.” She said with a ho hum inflection.
HAL nodded and walked her to the door. There were muttered goodbyes and a little wave as she walked to her car and he closed the door.
When she sat down, the vehicle began pulling from the curb. The restraints secured her to the seat and a default pleasant man’s voice asked, “Destination ma’am?”
“Home Walker,” She commanded.
“Is everything okay ma’am?” Walker asked.
“Why? Are you thinking of applying to be my therapist?” She asked, thick with sarcasm.
“No ma’am, I just thought it might be nice to get it off your chest,” The vehicle replied.
“Yeah. Thanks, but no thanks.” She snipped and muted Walker while engaging the privacy mode.
She opened up her social media and began sliding through her feed. As she scrolled through her messages she saw that B’hal had tagged her in a picture of them going through Dante Alighieri's Inferno last week. She rolled her eyes. They were in the second level and he had been gawking at all of the characters throughout their time there. He acts like he’s twelve.
He took a picture of them outside of some leather dungeon whipping punishment zone or something. There were environmental characters in stocks being whipped by tight leather outfit demon women. She scrolled by it unacknowledged.
Arriving at home she braced herself for the attention starved onslaught from Bijou and Frill’vat. The cat and cydril were never given enough pets, pats, and kisses. She opened the door and Bijou was predictably there waiting to brush back and forth across her legs.
“Oh hello Bijou, ki ki baby, how are you?” She asked as the cat meowed and purred loudly.
The cydril, a small ape-like creature that walks upright with a chinchilla-like coat and large owlish eyes, walked into the room, a dopey grin on his pizza sauce and cheese smeared face.
“B’hal!” She shouted. “Did you leave pizza out or did Frill’vat raid the fridge?”
“Oh hey babe! Sorry, I think I left the pizza out,” B’hal shouted back. She could hear him playing Black Ops online and let out a sigh.
“I just came from your brother’s place. He found the upgrades I made to Toby. I think he liked the Brian-izer option,” She said into the house as she walked to the kitchen to find two pizza boxes on the counter, one with the lid left open and cydril six-fingered hand prints across the cardboard lid. She tossed the box and pizza into the bin and put the other into the kitchen fridge, then took out a bottle of Skuld Ty’i Lindot wine, grabbed a glass, and headed to the bedroom.
As she walked past the living room she could see B’hal completely focused on his game. She smiled a little and walked on into her bedroom then threw herself on the mattress.
“Arthur. Heat bed to 22.22 celsius and turn on television, search for the program Who’s the Boss, resume playback,” She mumbled with her face buried in her pillows.
The theme song played in the background while she layed in the bed just trying to relax. She was suddenly pounced upon by Bijou who quickly began making herself comfortable on the small of her back.
“Fucking cat,” She chuckled.
She heard the sound of her glass tapping against the bottle and had to bolt up before Frill’vat knocked them both over. She should have seen it coming, when Bijou clawed into her back because she moved too fast for the cat to jump off. She winced in pain as she caught the bottle before it fell with Frill’vat’s happy little mush face looking like he just did the funniest thing ever.
“B’hal! Call Frill’vat!” She shouted.
“What?” He called back clearly, barely listening.
“Call the cydril!” She shouted in return and picked up her squirtgun.
“Frill’vat!” He called from the other room. “It’s my girlfriend's pet,” She heard him explain to his online group. “Frill’vat, come here buddy,” He continued.
Frill’vat walked from the room and Alissa looked to Bijou, “Close the door girl. Boys are gross and dumb, we should throw rocks at them,” Bijou meowed before hopping down and pushing the bedroom door closed with her head.
“Arthur, I’ve changed my mind. Resume Golden Girls and remove today’s progress on Who’s the Boss.” She said, sitting up and pouring her first glass of wine.