Robert woke up feeling something cuddling up to him. It wasn’t unpleasant, but it didn’t feel right. He lifted the covers and saw a chimpanzee holding him around the waist and drooling on his chest. He tried to take it all in stride, but he quickly found himself bolting from the bed when he saw that the chimpanzee was not the only one next to him, there was also the orangutan Donnie, and three cats.

“Whoa! I didn’t realize this was cuddle puddle territory fellas!” He shouted as bolted from the bed to find that the chimp had its hand in his boxers, not molesting him, just resting their hand in his johnnies! The animal was dragged across the sheets and awoke from the motion and the guffaws of Morgaine in the doorway.

“Did you do this?” He asked, watching her record the entire thing with her cell.

“Who, me?” She asked, trying to control her laughter as Donnie was cackling and pointing at Robert's underwear, white with little red hearts, the undies preferred for all pranks that involve undies.

Robert grabbed the sheet to cover himself, finding that Donnie was more than willing to play tug of war with him.

“Are you kidding me right now?” Robert said in frustration.

Keung walked into the room to see what was going on, the boy suddenly laughed so hard his orange juice started dribbling out of his nose.

Robert let go of the sheet and darted toward the bathroom, only to find the gorilla seated there, reading a newspaper.

“Are you kidding me with this shit?!” Robert asked and went for his clothes on the chair where he left them, grabbing them up and making for the closet.

He quickly attempted to dress with the zoo of laughter outside the closet, while mumbling to himself about how childish this all was, unable to get the clothing on within the darkness and without much room to move.

Morgaine walked up to Donnie and gave him a high five. As she left the room she knocked on the closet door and said, “Good morning Bobby.”

“My name is Robert!” Was the response she received.

Keung followed her out, wiping his nose repeatedly. “I wish I had been there for the entire thing, why didn’t you tell me about it?”

“The more who know the plan, the more who can spoil it,” She said in reply.

Donnie follows the pair out of the room, while the chimp straightens out the bedding and rolls over to get back to sleep.

Those leaving went to the dining room and back to breakfast.

Robert exited the closet and discovered his pants were inside out taking them back off in order to put them back on correctly. Most likely another Morgaine prank. “I suppose she needs some outlet now that she isn’t killing and torturing people,” He mumbled.

When the gorilla exited the bathroom, the scent that wafted out was truly inhuman. Robert gagged and watched the animal walk from the room, its newspaper under their arm and a smile that was unmistakable for “I clogged the toilet, best of luck.”

Robert dropped his pants and ran to the bathroom door hoping to find an air freshener or something that would help with the stench. He held his shirt over his mouth and nose scrambling with his search. When he found the can on the toilet tank, he was met with the most massive crap he had ever seen clogging the drain and the water just at the edge of the bowl.

“Where’s the plunger?” He shouted, the only reply being a round of laughter all at his expense coming from the dining room.

He sprayed the room, liberally, and closed the door.

Alf Galt sauntered into the bedroom and looked around. He was wearing a set of leopard print speedos and a towel. “Do not fret my friend,” Robert heard and turned around to look at the other man.

“Speedos now? Speedos? Groped by a chimp, teased by an orangutan, and a gorilla destroyed my bathroom and now Alfred Galt decides to show me his junk in speedos? What’s next Morgaine, a bucket of ice water? A shaken can of coke? Maybe get one of the birds to fly by and crap on me?” He said in frustration that turned his face red.

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“What is this?” Alf asked.

“You aren’t part of the prank?” Robert asked, watching Morgaine peek in from the doorway, silently chuckling and shaking her head. She lifted her phone and snapped a still for posterity.

“I am sorrys Mr. Robert, here…” Alf said and lifted his arms to give Robert a hug.

“Nope, no, no, no, no. I’m good, nope I do not…” Robert was saying as Alf took him in his arms and gave him a good squeeze.

“It is okay my friend. I am here for you. I am so sorry they bothered your sleepings. I…” Alf said, but cut off when the smell of the bathroom caught his attention.

He let Robert go and walked to the bathroom, where Robert got a great view of Alf’s thong speedo.

“Robert. I think you need to eat better my friend. This does not look healthy,” Alf said.

Morgaine couldn’t contain herself any more and just fell to the ground laughing.

“You would laugh at your friend not eating right? Have you seen the nightmare he left in the toilet?” Alf said as he shooed Robert from the room and pushed him down the hall to the dining room.

“Alfred, Alfred! Hey man, I'm in my underwear!” Robert protested and tried to get back into the bedroom. Clawing against the wall.

When the two cleared the corner the laughter spread across the many species and people that were in the rooms beyond.

“Oh you stop that, the man is dressed, shame on you,” Alf said, continuing to shuffle Robert to the table.

Donnie knocked on the table and pointed to Robert. As Robert took a seat at the table, filled with animals in various perches, small settings on the table, large settings, and on the laps of others, as well as toddler seats that attach to the table, he wondered what fresh hell was awaiting him in whatever insanity he was served. He caught the eye of Donnie and made a telepathic connection.

“You alright?” Donnie asked, feeling concern and humor in the emotions he sent over to the man.

“I’m fine. What are we going to be eating?” Robert asked.

“What would you like? There is a great deal in the kitchen all set up,” Donnie sent over then stood up and beckoned Robert to follow him.

The orangutan waited for Robert to get to him and then the two walked into the kitchen.

Robert had known of Alf Galt before he met him as likely most people have. The man was a legend. He was the lead singer in the band Sugar Beets, he had been the star in three of his favorite kids movies, rumors of him throughout the 70s were mindblowing, and back in 79 he told a reporter outright that he was an alien, and before his awakening, Robert had thought the man was a kook, eccentric, and overall weird, as likely everyone else did.

Now knowing him, the kitchen beyond the door was exactly what you would expect from such a man.

There were staff all over the place. The three workstations nearest to him and Donnie are getting meals ready. There were mealworms, crickets, large caterpillars, and small fish in one workstation, the next was handling fruit of all kinds, the next was handling large pieces of meat. There was another set of workstations across the room with things that Robert simply didn’t want to identify.

“How much food does this place pump out?” Robert telepathically asked Donnie.

“Between all of the family? I would likely measure it in tons and around two at that,” Donnie replied.

“Where is the… human food?” Robert asked one of the staff buzzing around the room.

“Through that door over there,” The young man answered, not paying attention to the underwear that Robert is walking around in.

The two moved across the room to the next set of doors and into the much smaller kitchen with several tables where Donnie and he would select their foods.

“A carving table?” Robert asked aloud.

Donnie answers with a nod.

After gathering up their plates, the pair walked back to the breakfast table and joined everyone else. Robert thought about the expense such a system would require.

“The man is clearly rich,” Keung said in Robert’s mind.

“I suppose that’s true, but imagine the waste,” Robert replied.

“Oh noes. There is no waste dear boy,” Alf declared.

Robert didn’t enjoy an invasion in his mind, but it was his own fault for not maintaining a guard. He and Keung do not guard their thoughts from one another, but Morgaine knows better than to peek in on his thoughts, apparently Alfred has no such sense of privacy.

“Oh I am sorry Robert, I did not mean to peek. It was just so loud. But, noes. I do not have waste. Yes, I provide for my family and myself, but all of the leftovers are used in various other areas. I have my peoples take the food to the poor, to the shelters, to their own homes. There is no waste, not from me. I try to keep good karma around me. Who knows where you will be born next? I want to live in a world I would want to exist in until this planet is gobbled up by the sun,” Alfred declared to the room, all while standing and posturing in elegant grandiose form.

“Oh,” Robert said deadpan after the performance. “My bad.”