“Shadow,” I yawned exhaustedly, as the sunlight once again began to slowly color my window in the pale yellow of early morning light. “Get up boy.” Reaching over, I gently pulled his small frame up beside me and kissed my only companion gently upon the forehead. Snorting grumpily, he lazily stretched and then tried to cover his eyes with his paws, to hide from the breaking day.
“Don’t be like that,” I laughed, mirthlessly. “It’s morning again, and I can’t just stay here anymore. I can’t sleep. The silence is too loud at night, when the rest of the world is resting. I miss your mother and I just can’t handle things anymore. We need to go and have a true conversation with God, to ask Him why he’s abandoned us as He has, and I think I finally have a plan on how to do that.
“Uuuuhhhhhh…” Sleepily, Shadow yawned and tried to roll over to hide his head beneath the covers.
“Nope! None of that,” I demanded, as I scooped the little furball up and hugged him, before sitting him on the floor.
“Euuugggg…” Releasing a lazy little half-groan, Shadow slowly stretched and wagged his tail sluggishly back and forth. Even I have to admit, he’s a beautiful little boy. Pure blooded Pekinese, weighing in at a healthy little fifteen pounds, and covered in a well-trimmed layer of brown and black fur. He’s the smartest of any dog I’ve ever owned in all of my fifty years of life, and he’s about the same age in dog-years as I am in people years, so his vitality (or lack of it), often matches mine perfectly.
Yawning again wearily, I imitated my little Shadow, stretched, and then finally eased up out of bed. As I began to lazily slide into my clothes, Shadow slowly scratched at his ear and looked up at me reproachfully.
“Don’t worry,” I promised him, “we’re going to get up and go ‘Budden Budden’ here in just a moment.”
Immediately, Shadow’s ears perked up and he rushed out of the room and down the hall. Turning back at the bathroom entrance, he stared impatiently at me, as if he was saying, “Come on Daddy! Let’s go for a ride! Hurry up! Hurry up!” I couldn’t help but smile wearily at his enthustaic exuberance. How long had it been since we’d last left the house and went anywhere? Days at least. Perhaps centuries, from the lack of time sense that I’ve been experiencing lately. I honestly don’t know.
“Give me a moment, asshole,” I grumbled. As I left the bedroom, Shadow turned and quickly led the way through the living room and towards the outside door. “I need to take a moment to use the bathroom myself, and then I want to get a quick bite to eat, before we head outside. We’ll need to pack a few things too,” I explained, patiently, to my dog, “because I don’t think we’re going to be coming back after this.”
“Wooooo euuuuu euuuu..” Whining, Shadow sat at the door outside, waiting on me to finish up my final business in this house which I now considered to be my own personal hell on Earth.
----------------------------------------
“Hurry it up, asshole. You don’t have to pee a thousand times just to mark your turf,” I grumpily told Shadow, several hours later. I suppose this was his way of getting revenge on me for making him wait to get outside and go for a ride. “Come on,” I grumbled. We don’t have time to sit around today. It’s a twelve-hour drive, and we don’t want to miss our storm.”
Panting, with his tail swinging back and forth like a helicopter blade, Shadow finally rushed and hopped into the car. Sitting down in the passenger seat, he turned and tilted his head sideways while looking up at me, as if to say, “Come on slow poke. What seems to be the hold up now?”
“Irritating little ass,” I mumbled, affectionately. Taking a moment to scratch him between the ears, I pulled Shadow up to sit beside me as I started up the car and began our long drive into the future.
----------------------------------------
The wind was howling and rain was falling sideways, when I pulled into the small marina at the beach. It was well after midnight, I was soaked to the skin, and this was my third such set of docks that I had stopped at tonight. I was exhausted, but for the first time in a long time, my heart was at peace. Just the simple fact that I knew that this was going to be a catalyst to some sort of change for me, was enough for me to be at peace. Live or die, get arrested or go free, it didn’t matter. No matter what, after tonight, I won’t ever have to deal with the damn silence ever again.
Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.
“Stay here, little man.” Forcing the car door open past the howling wind, I stumbled out into the whipping rain and fought myself down the docks. A single regretful howl echoed behind me, as my little trooper begged to be let out to battle the elements at my side. He truly is my little Shadow. “No need for you to drown out here with me,” I called back, over the wind. “I’ll get you in a moment, if we’re lucky this time.”
I’d never been one much for swimming, or oceans, or such. I don’t own a boat, and I don’t know the most about them – but I do know people. People are idiots, and there’s always at least one reliable idiot somewhere who forgets and leaves their keys behind in a stressful situation. A category four – bordering on category five – hurricane is more than enough for somebody, somewhere, to leave their keys locked up their boat. I’d traveled south, and I’d traveled east, until I’d hit some beach, somewhere, and this was the third set of docks which I’d stopped at. My luck had been running the same as usual – all bad – at the last two stops, but finally things were taking a turn my way!
Anchored, about halfway up the right side of the docks, was a medium sized boat, and I could see the keys still sitting in the ignition. If I didn’t say it before, I’ll say it once again now, I don’t know squat about boats, so I really don’t know how to describe this one very well. It sat in the water. It was white, with some name painted on the side of it which I couldn’t make out in the pouring rain and darkness. It was large enough that it wasn’t an open rowboat or motorboat – the area where the driver (Captain?) sat (Stood? Stayed?) was covered with some tiny little metal and glass framework, so it was completely perfect for my needs. At least me and my little Shadow wouldn’t drown after stealing it.
Forcing through the storm, back to the car, I opened the door and was greeted with the sight of a mournful little furball. “Euuu wooo wooo…” Tail wagging, with tears in his eyes, I couldn’t decide if Shadow was happier I’d came back, or angrier and sadder that I’d left him behind. “Don’t worry,” I promised him, as I reached for his leash. “You’re coming with me this time.”
Laying submissively on his stomach, Shadow slowly wormed his way across from the passenger seat and then lifted his head high so I could hook the leash to his collar. As soon as it was clicked in place, he jumped up, tail wagging furiously, and jumped out of the car.
“One moment,” I laughed. “Let me get our bag.” Reaching into the car, I grabbed both the large duffle bags I had packed, and we both excitedly worked our way back to the water.
----------------------------------------
Half an hour later, and after several resounding thumps with the side of the docks as the water pushed us into them once I cut the taunt ropes connecting us to them, we were drunkenly driving (Piloting? Steering?) ourselves out to sea. The wind and waves were ferocious, and I thought we were going to capsize at any moment, but my heart was roaring with adrenaline. Shadow bravely slid back and forth across the floor (Deck?), at my feet, and I was laughing outrageously. For the first time in forever, I was truly at peace and laughing. My heart truly didn’t think I was going to survive this – after all, I swim almost as good as a rock does – but I didn’t care. I couldn’t hear the silence for the storm!
Thunder and lightning were booming all around. Rain and water were sloshing so thick across the windshield that I couldn’t see anything in the darkness. If I were to compare driving this boat (Ship? Yacht?) to driving a car, I could honestly say that I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I didn’t know how to turn on the headlights. I couldn’t find any window wipers. I didn’t know how to read the instruments. I didn’t see any lever for the breaks. Just a single throttle which I had pushed all the way forward, and a steering wheel which I tried to use to steer us into the waves so they didn’t flip us onto our sides.
“I had to get lost, to find myself,” I screamed up to the Heavens! “Why, God? WHY?!” All the anguish and hurt which I’d been bottling up inside myself for ages came rushing out, as we rushed headlong into the storm. “My wife was good and righteous! Why take her, and not me? Why my mother, my uncle, and my brother all at the same time?! How much do you expect one man to bare? Why has my daughter forsaken me? Why God? WHHHHHYYYYYY!!”
CRASH!!
BOOM!!
BLAMM!!
The sound of the hull splintering as my little ship collided with a much larger one was the only answer I received, as the impact tossed and smacked me into the steering wheel and windshield. Pain and darkness filled my awareness, as the damned silence washed over me, perhaps for the last time.