The next several days were a living hell for me. To be honest, I can’t say exactly how long it was that I was drifting in and out of consciousness. The agony of my side was unrelenting, but even its overwhelming existence couldn’t compare to the guilt I felt during the few times when my mind was clear enough for me to think somewhat.
I was both amazed and jealous, of how close the two girls had been before. Now, however, each time I awoke enough to view my surroundings, there was a frosty distance between them. The way they treated each other had changed completely. No longer was there laughter and soft closeness between them. Now, they often squared shoulders towards each other, and a wall of cold silence encased them.
It seems the silence of my heart is so profound, it bleeds and corrupts all around me. I honestly don’t need to be in this world anymore. One of them needs to just end me, put me out of all our miseries, and be done with it.
But they won’t do that. Instead, the two girls seem to be locked in some sort of bizarre contest for which can serve me the best. I’ll wake once, and one will be chewing up my food and feeding me. The next time I awake, the other will be washing me with a damp cloth. The next time, one is gently stroking my hair and singing to me, while the time after, the other one is holding me in her lap, gently brushing the sand out of my hair.
Even though the both are acting like they can’t stand each other, for whatever bizarre reason, they both are doing their damndest to pamper me!
And this only adds to the ever-growing guilt in my heart!
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After days of repeatingly enduring this baffling dynamic, it was with Laulaia whom I finally managed to stay conscious long enough to start to unravel the mystery behind it.
Waking with my head resting in her lap, she was gently stroking the stiff stubble on both sides of my cheeks. Singing softly, she seemed relaxed – or at least content – and neither Alaina, nor Shadow, appeared to be anywhere around.
“Water,” I croaked; the first word I’d managed to speak in who knows how long.
“Steffan!” Eyes opening wide, Laulaia’s face lit up and a few tears trickled down from the corner of her eye. Slowly reaching off to her side, she picked up the leather glove laid there and untied a string from it. Gently, she tilted the elbow-side up to my chin, letting precious warm water trickle slowly across my lips and into my mouth.
“Thank you,” I managed to spit out, once I’d regained some moisture in my mouth.
“Frentu Steffan see pee are Alaina?” Tears cornered in Laulaia’s eyes as she barely whispered the question that had lingered in her heart for the past
Why did I perform “CPR” on Alaina? How the heck was I supposed to answer that? All I’d actually did was puff gently in her face – our lips didn’t touch or anything! Exactly what the heck was wrong with my action?
“Frenta?” The only thing my poor brain could think to do was to answer a question with a question.
“Frenta?” Laulaia blinked several times, trying to sort out why I was asking her, “Why.” Staring deep into my eyes, Laulaia seemed confused by what she saw there. Questioningly, she asked in my language, “Steffan no is?”
Umm… I am. Or at least, I think I am. Just what the heck does she mean by that. Is she asking if I know what I did??
“Nagu,” I told her, puzzlement knitting my brows.
Straightening upright, Laulaia firmed her shoulders and went into what can only be described as “teaching mode”. For the next hour or longer, she kept gesturing and repeating herself over and over, one sentence at a time until I think I finally began to understand the root of the problem.
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In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth – I learned this much as a small child. Then, at some point, He created man from a lump of clay, and breathed life into him. Apparently to Laulaia and Alaina, this breath of life is a sacred thing. People don’t just up and breath on each other, and share their breath with just anyone…
And yet, I’d performed CPR on Laulaia. As far as Alaina could tell, she’d already stopped breathing, and had died. By sharing my breath with her, apparently, I gave part of my life to Laulaia. That’s why the two girls had been so thankful and grateful to me. In Alaina’s state of shock, she somehow remembered me as a shining young prince who saved her friend – but by giving up my life to resurrect her, my ribs and side had shattered during the process.
Laulaia’s life was my life, and the very act of saving her was enough to bond us together forever, in their eyes. It also explains why Laulaia got upset when I stopped her from leaning forward and “kissing” me earlier. She wasn’t trying to kiss me; she was wanting to share her breath with me. To return part of the gift and strengthen the cycle between us…
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…And then, me being a clueless idiot, refuse her and share my breath again with Alaina…
…Which, in her shock, causes Alaina to push me away and hurt myself even more. Of course, the girls don’t think I hurt myself falling and hitting the ground. They think it’s because I’m an idiot just passing out my breath of life to anyone I stumble across.
Apparently, Alaina works for Laulaia, in some manner…
…Yet, now Alaina is sharing life with the same person Laulaia is – is sharing life with the person who rejected Laulaia’s attempt to share hers in return…
…And I’m such a clueless idiot, I apparently don’t even know what I did…
…And I sure as hell don’t have a clue how to fix it!
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The next month, things became both more comfortable and more uncomfortable at the same time.
Many things around the small campsite became more comfortable for living. Alaina repeated the same simple process to build a second shelter – this one a little larger, and without a hole in the roof for water to drain inside. She carved several spears and started regularly going hunting, gradually getting better at bringing in a steady supply of fish. We had plenty of the necessities – food, water, warmth and shelter – and, so far, this island hadn’t shown us any sort of large or dangerous creature.
But, even though we had all the essentials for survival sorted out, our camp was still a cold and forsaken place. Both girls still doted on me endlessly, which helped me rest and recover my strength, but neither was even acknowledging the other’s existence anymore. During the early mornings, Alaina would go off hunting and scavenge along the beach, while Laulaia would often wash me and exchange language lessons with me. In the evenings, after the usual storm settled, Laulaia would wander off to go gather various fruits and plants, and Alaina would pamper me. Both, in their own odd way, was working with each other, while at the same time refusing to acknowledge each other.
Women are crazy!
As we learned more of each other’s languages, I finally began to piece together more of the heart of the issue between the girls. Apparently, they both come from some place called, “Shina Kal’or,” which would roughly translate to, “Good Sun Valley”. I’ve never heard of such a place before, but it sounds like it’s a large land according to them. All I can figure is that it must be some African nation – and who the heck has a clue what any of those are!
As far as I can tell though, the people of Shina Kal’or follow some sort of bastardized religion. They believe that the “breath of life” is a sacred thing, and that one doesn’t just go around breathing all willy-nilly on others. Doing so is as good as giving one’s life away, and bad things happen to those who share their life too often – eventually, their spirits grow weak, and they spread sickness and death instead of life. Honestly, I think some odd coincidence of history warped their views. Perhaps a plague was going around their homeland at the same time some missionaries were visiting. I’m not certain.
In this bastardized religion though, apparently Laulaia lost her life when she lost her breath. When I performed CPR on her, I selflessly filled her body with my own life. By their customs, she should no longer live for herself, but instead live for me. She is life-bound to me. I still don’t fully understand what that means to the two of them, but as far as I can tell, it’s similar to being married – just a little more one-sided. “For better or worse, till death do us part, I belong to you,” or some similar crap. It’s why she won’t complain even when I squeeze her hard enough to leave bruises, when the silence weighs too heavy in my heart. It’s her duty.
As for me breathing on Alaina, it doesn’t quite have the same meaning behind it, to the girls. She wasn’t “dead”, at the time when I breathed on her, so her life isn’t my life. Instead, I opened up and shared my life with her – basically proposing to her! Laulaia “belongs” to me, while I “proposed” to Alaina, which in some sort of female hierarchy means that Alaina is now over Laulaia.
And, honestly, I think that is the crux of their problem.
From what they’ve told me, Laulaia and Alaina grew up together. Laulaia is the child of a wealthy businessman/landowner. Alaina is the child of one of his bodyguards. Laulaia was raised to be an educated young lady, to have the social graces and blend in with society, and taught to manage business and people. Alaina, on the other hand, was raised to remain in the background, to not stand out. Alaina’s duty was to watch over Laulaia and learn how to help protect her. She was basically being raised to grow into the roll of Laulaia’s servant and bodyguard.
And now, those rolls have suddenly flipped. All her life, Laulaia was over Alaina, and Alaina allowed her to be the one to make decisions and guide their destinies. Now, however, Alaina suddenly found herself over Laulaia, and neither knew how to cope with that. Alaina has no idea how to lead – her whole life she’s been taught to be subservient to Laulaia. Laulaia has no clue how to handle her bodyguard having a higher status than her, with the person she’s life-bound to.
The whole thing is a compete mess, and there’s honestly nothing I can do to fix it. I can’t “take my breath back” from Alaina – by breathing on her, I stated my undying desire to make her my wife and to share my life with her. All she has to do now, is return the gesture, and the deal is sealed completely. Her status will go from “engaged,” to, “married”.
Alaina, however, really doesn’t want to stress things further between her and Laulaia, so she’s not going to breath on me – and that leaves her as the one truly stuck in a bind the most. Traditionally, according to them, if one breathes on another, and the other person doesn’t return the breath, the first one dies. Marriage proposals are truly a life and death proposal, according to their customs! After all, who wants to live after they’ve given half their life away?
Alaina, though, doesn’t really have that option. She can’t just end my life – my life is Laulaia’s life, and Alaina has been raised from birth to serve and protect Laulaia. She doesn’t want to “say yes”, as that would cement the issue for eternity; yet, she can’t just reject me completely and tell me to drop dead. My cluelessness has wrapped us all up in a Catch-22, which I fear is going to utterly destroy the girl’s future. My own future doesn’t make a damn – I’ve lived a long enough life, and since my wife is gone, I’m prepared to leave this world anytime.
My only real regret is ruining the lives of these two innocents.