With that they were shown out to the field, and one of the snowballs opened the portal back to the mortal world. With that, the snowball sniffed at them and gestured towards the door. Oku went through first. Lawrence looked back at the beautiful landscape, clad in snow. It would simply disappear? With that, he was back in his room. Oku sat down at the computer and rested her head on a hand. He looked at her face for the first time since they’d left the throne room to see that her aura of badassery was gone. Replacing it was… fear?

“Oku, is something up?”

“Lawrence you need to know. That there is nothing. Nothing. You can do for them. Once a god fails, he is set on an irreversible path of decay. Trying will only cause you harm.”

“I know something else bothered you.”

She looked up at him, eyes wide. Hato decided it was time to chime in.

“I saw the name as well. It was Fujin. That can only mean this god is his son. If gods this powerful can die… who’s next?”

Lawrence had had enough. He whipped outside and bounded down the stairs to the door where the janitor lived. He threw it open and found that it was empty. Stunned, he stood at the empty doorway until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“He is already gone.”

“Oku. Open that portal again.”

“No.”

“Please. I won’t go in.”

Begrudgingly, she did so. Lawrence was not prepared for what he was about to see. Inside the portal, it was dark. The only thing happening was the endless snowfall. It landed on no treetops, no ornate roof. Through the snow, he could see a figure walking towards the portal. It was the god. He stopped right in front of them and sadly looked up.

“It must be time to retire. I have been here for more… more than my fair share of time. Thank you for the time you spent even with an insane old man such as myself.”

He touched his pointing finger and thumb together, and a band of light traveled from the god through the portal to Lawrence’s forehead. The god smiled, and looked back at the black horizon.

“I think… I can hear someone praying.”

With that, the snow storm whipped even faster and he was encircled in a whirlwind. Immediately, it quieted down again, and he was gone.

A memory.

Inside his mind, a festival was unfolding. The snowman and all the little snowballs were there, at a shrine in the middle of a winter festival. Hundreds were praying to the winter gods, for good grades, for that job, everything. The god smiled down at them, and looked directly at him.

“You could say that the end of my life was pretty shitty, couldn’t you. Yet I had all these blessings. Though mine was an end, remember this. Through the dirt roads leading nowhere, and the paths that spit you out at a dead end, there was always the cobbled road before. A lovely little road, a place where many loved ones walked, where there were parties to be had and friends to make. We all have dark dank paths that make us feel as if the forest is closing in on us my boy. But choosing to focus on the rough roads does not let you even consider the cobbled road ahead. Some of us even live on a dirt path, laid out in the middle of a lovely cobbled road. We make our paths. What do you want to live on my boy?”

He smiled, raised his cup of sake, and the festival vanished into the wind. Left was the shrine, old and decaying. Around it was construction tape. An old woman knelt in front of it, hands raised. She was smiling, and rang the decrepit bell one last time.

“Thank you for it all, old friend. Though the festivals are gone, I still have the memories. Even if the shrine will be destroyed tomorrow, what else could I ask for from you? My wishes all came true. Now, I will be able to go off in peace, knowing that I was able to thank you one last time.”

She smiled again and took a coin from her purse. It was an old currency, a square coin actually. She dropped it into the shrine’s collection box, and walked away, seemingly happy.

This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

With that the dream was over. He was back in the real world, being held up by an angry Oku.

“Of course he gave you a damn memory didn’t he! Just had to do it while you were standing up right!”

She was about to buckle, but he regained control of his body.

“Sorry, I didn’t know it was coming either.”

“Just sit down next time alright? But, he is dead. Right?”

“Yes he is gone.”

She turned towards him and looked into his eyes. Her brilliant vermillion irises locked onto his dull brown eyes.

“Lawrence. I’m not exactly one to be your emotional coach, but know this. He was already too far gone to be saved. I believe he knew it was coming, and had prepared himself. So had the snowballs. They knew it was soon. It was their choice to live as long as possible in the palace. They lived in peace, if we had disrupted it to no avail it would have been quite insensitive of us, right? You can’t save every single one. Nor can you save one who doesn’t want to be saved. It’s alright to be sad about it, but think of it this way. He was truly happy at the end, wasn’t he? He gave you the memory after all.”

She waited a few seconds before noticing he wasn’t moving at all. She nudged him, and he didn’t respond. She sighed and took his hand. She stopped for a second and looked at her hand intertwined with his. It was always a strange feeling to touch the person that she was literally a part of after all. Luckily he followed her, and she was able to lead him to the elevator, back to his room. Oku sat him down in the chair as Hato worriedly looked on.

“Is he ok?”

“He’s never failed before, let alone failed in saving the life of a Youkai.”

“So he really was dead?”

“Yeah, I think that the memory the old man showed him was pretty impactful. Or maybe he’s still inside it for all I know. He did respond though…”

“He should come out of it soon right?”

“I sure hope so.”

Meanwhile, the god’s words still echoed inside of his head.

Which path is he on? Maybe he was wasting his life on a dirt path in the middle of the most beautiful road in existence… Or there was always the chance that he was on a small cobbled path in the middle of a treacherous road.

Was it his choice to make?

It was only a few days away from the day that he had come to fear. Winter break was most literally on the horizon, and he was less than prepared for it. He’d set a little money aside for the trip to Kazha forest, but hadn’t prepared at all… It wasn’t that he was trying to deny Oku’s happiness in the forest but he didn’t like being alone equally as much. Not that he wouldn’t have Mark and Hato.

“But I definitely won’t have Hato, will I… And Mark might drift away from me if I can’t see Youkai.”

He went through the motions of yet another regular day, classes were the same, homework was the same, nothing really differed these days. Nothing except the off chance of a Youkai in need. He practically craved a little deviation from the droning of everyday regularity. The only solace he really had was seeing Hato, Oku, and Mark.

He passed the well kept pond on the way out of campus, and saw that the swans had finally went south for the winter. They would be back.

The bus arrived at the same time as it did every day, and he took it back to his dorm.

Another thing never changing.

The stairs were the same, up to his high-floor dorm, but when he entered the room he was greeted with Hato, as per usual, and Oku watching her fiddle with the computer. It was odd to see her out of his bed.

“So what’s up?”

“Just showing Oku how to use AllTube.”

“You want to watch videos or something?”

“As much as I adore seeing puppies roll around, I need it for a class. The teacher told us to search Schrodinger's Cat, it’s supposed to be both dead and alive at the same time.”

“Ah you’re getting into the asking about existence part.”

“Yes, it is quite interesting to be- hey where are you going?”

“Oh there’s a Youkai outside that was looking for something, I’ll just go help it out quick.”

Suddenly Oku’s eyes darkened over.

“So we didn’t agree to stop helping every Youkai we see?”

“Oh come on this is simple, he probably dropped a piece of fabric in a bush and can’t reach it.”

“Lawrence I think you’re addicted to Youkai’s memories.”

“Please, I’m not addicted.”

“What, you only help them because they need you? Would you go out of your way to help them if they had nothing to give in return but their thanks?”

“Of course I-”

“No, I don’t believe that. Nobody is that selfless. Do you want to hoard their memories for yourself since you’ve had such a monotonous life thus far?”

“I haven’t had a monotonous life.”

“Then give me a reason you would help them? The risk towards you is much greater than to them!”

“You only care about my well being because it’s yours too, don’t you.”

“What? Of course I care about what idiocy you get yourself into.”

“Bullshit. If you want to return to the forest so badly you can just go.”

With that, and a horrified Hato watching on, Lawrence slammed the door shut and started down the stairs once more. Hato wasn’t sure who to console. She didn’t want to take side in this, to risk losing either of them was way too much for her. Oku just sniffed and crossed her arms.

“Why were you so mean?”

“Let me ask you this. Do you want to see him impaled again? Dying on the floor? That situation was much scarier for someone whose well being depends on his you know. Being unable to save him as he dies in front of you… Could you take that?”

“I…”

“It’s the same with the son of Fujin. Until then he had mostly petty experiences helping Youkai, minus his impalement of course, but he wasn’t emotionally ready to learn that not all Youkai can be saved. Of course I care about him. Look at all he’s done for me. To tell you the truth... I-”

She’d vanished. At first, Hato had thought that Lawrence needed to drink another energy bottle, but she rethought that. Usually before Oku re-entered his body she glowed for a few seconds. She didn’t see any of that.

Hato was fucking scared.