Paul
What were they going to do? Now they weren’t being chased, Paul no longer had any excuse to keep his secret. Of course, telling them was the last thing he wanted.
The shame. The disappointment. Would they be angry? No, how angry would they be? They wouldn’t kick him out, but his imagination often got carried away.
Doubts and fears spiraled in Paul’s mind as he watched the horizon.
“Rana, wake up Cassie.”
Paul hadn’t even noticed Daniel and Rana approaching. The frog girl gently shook Cassie’s cross-legged and bowed-over unconscious body.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“Gather up everyone; we need to talk. Wendi, Lea, come on over. Kenta.”
The young man turned from his labors in the designated kitchen area, though his hair did a perfectly good job with his back turned. “You’re lucky dinner is ready.”
Kenta brought over five bowls as he joined the group.
“Stew again?” Wendi said as she took her helping. Kenta grumbled something about what he had to work with.
“Circle round.” Daniel sat facing the campfire. Obediently, Paul sat opposite Daniel and the others followed suit. “Is Cassie alright?”
Rana had eased Cassie’s body back into a supine position and persistently jostled the bat girl’s shoulders as softly as possible. After a few more seconds, enough time to make Paul start to worry but not enough to crack Rana’s neutral expression, Cassie sat bolt upright.
“What?” Then Cassie flushed in embarrassment. “Oh, dinner time. Sorry.” Ignoring their looks of concern, she took her place in the circle along with her bowl.
With a slight frown, Daniel let the incident slide.
Rana produced a yellow brittlegill from her pocket and dusted its spores over her place by the fire beside Cassie. A chair-sized toadstool grew in the seconds it took her to grab a bowl and take a seat on top.
Kenta gaped and pointed. “What is that?”
The frog girl finished scraping the last of the stew into her mouth, swallowed without bothering to chew or taste it, and said, “…A mushroom.”
The Kaminoke boy facepalmed, then sighed. “Since when could you do this?”
“Since I was born.”
He gave her a flat stare, glanced at some of the others’ dumbfounded reactions, and said, “Why have you never done it before?”
“I didn’t have magical mushrooms until recently. I can’t control the size of mundane mushrooms. Just grow them.”
Kenta blinked. “And… where did you find the magic mushrooms?”
“Daniel and I found them over half a year ago.”
“That’s right!” Paul said, and Lea nodded as she remembered too. “You two were talking about selling our magic stew mushrooms to the Tsukumogami.”
Kenta pointed to her stool. “I was there too, but I didn’t know they could do that.” Then he turned to Daniel with intensity. “You didn’t think to mention this?”
The young angel boy didn’t shrink back or flinch. “I’ve known her the least time. I assumed everyone else knew about her ability and I trusted Rana to use it responsibly. She provided food for the group, and no one got sick.” He shrugged.
The Kaminoke threw up his hands in frustration and asked Rana, “Then why keep it a secret?”
The frog girl didn’t meet his eyes. “Not a secret. No one asked.” She had a moment of introspection before she continued. “Having Daniel offer to sell them made me realize something. I can propagate more, so I should treat them like an ability instead of a resource.”
“Hence, toadstools,” Lea said with a smile. Rana nodded.
Kenta wasn’t amused. He gritted his teeth and seethed.
With the Kaminoke raring for another argument, Daniel made a hard change of subject. “I called for a circle tonight because we need to agree on a plan of action.”
Kenta composed himself and his hair spread over them to form a canopy that warded off the creeping chill of oncoming twilight. “What’s the point? We’re going back to what we’ve been doing the past year. Except with fewer stops.”
“And hopefully fewer monsters,” Cassie said, knocking on a piece of wood before tossing it into the fire.
“The point is, there could be merit in taking a break… for a little while.” Daniel plowed on despite Kenta’s scoffing. “We can’t pretend last week didn’t happen. Taking the time to process things and deal with our changes may be wisest choice.”
This was exactly the way Paul had feared things would go. He was one of the changes Daniel was talking about. They needed to know the truth.
“I can’t pretend to know what each of you are going through, so I think we should leave it to a vote—”
“—Excuse me, Daniel.” Paul chose to interrupt here before Daniel got any closer to that ill-informed vote. They all looked at him. He suddenly regretted even thinking about this, but the guilt mounted so high it finally won over everything else. “I have a… confession to make.”
He dragged out the words as if each second before the impending catastrophe were precious.
This was it. All his weeks, no, months of agonizing over the bare-faced truth had come to a head. He couldn’t take the words back. The only path was forward. “I’ve… wanted to tell you all for a while now, but, I haven’t. I deserve whatever’s coming to me. I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me. The truth is… I—”
“—I as well have something I need to admit.”
If Paul had a beating heart, it would have stopped when Lea spoke. He hadn’t expected this with how quiet she’d been today.
“Oh, me too, I want in. It’s Confession Time: The Truth Comes Out,” Cassie said all too eagerly. Paul couldn’t believe how peppy the bat girl had been lately.
“This is fantastic!” Daniel grinned. “I thought it’d take us weeks to get this far. We can knock out all our problems in one night!” Paul felt frantic at their enthusiasm. “Of course, we have to be careful about it…
“I want this to be more counselling than confessing—we’re not about to burn each other at the stake. Things have stressful. We may have done things we’re embarrassed about, or fear to admit. But, honestly, we’re all we’ve got. Literally, we don’t have anyone else to turn to, confide in, or seek for protection.
Stolen novel; please report.
“We’re dead for sure if the group falls apart. Even if we feel personally betrayed, we have to be bigger than ourselves. We need trust and compassion. If this isn’t a safe-sharing place, how are we going to cope?
“Secrets are landmines. This counselling session is our bomb-disposal, our chance to set things right with each other before it goes too far to fix. Each secret we get through is a green wire cut—”
“—I thought you cut the red wire?” Cassie interrupted his monologue.
“No, that’s what sets off the bomb.”
“What if you’re colorblind?”
“That would be a serious issue if the dilemma weren’t something fabricated for movies. Why did the bomber conveniently adhere to the standardized color code, thusly making it easier to disarm? The point is—”
“—The point is I’m going first,” Cassie interrupted him again. “It’s not much of a secret since I was going to tell everybody anyway, I just haven’t gotten the chance until now. In fact, I’m not sure who knows, figured out, or overheard what, and I don’t particularly care at this point, so I might as well get everything in the open. Starting at the beginning.
“Since Moloch attacked us four years ago, my nightmares kept me from getting a good night’s sleep. The demon inside me used my Auditions to find possible futures where you all killed me in gruesome ways. And yeah, I said demon—apparently, right before Persephone destroyed It, Moloch smuggled a little piece of Itself into my Inner World.”
“Me too.” Paul whispered the words, but he knew everyone had heard him. If they’d been surprised by Cassie’s story, the others were even more startled by his words. Even Cassie looked shocked. Apparently her Auditions hadn’t predicted his admission.
What was going on in this circle? What didn’t they know about each other?
“Well… you’ll have to wait your turn.” The note of confusion made Cassie waver for a minute but returning to her self-rehearsed version of events restored her confidence. “The only thing that helped was blood. It invigorated me like coffee, but better, and I didn’t have to sleep much—or at all—if I had enough. For the past year I drained Rana for my supply. I guess Daniel discovered that when he saw Rana didn’t have Toad Stones during the first mage fight.
“Um, yeah, so first I’d like to apologize to Rana.” Cassie bowed her head to the frog girl. “Treating you as my personal juice box was really messed up. I’d quit drinking blood for that reason alone without the other thing. I hurt you, and you could have died without those Toad Stones, but, Rana, your gift saved my soul. I couldn’t have endured the demon so long without your blood supply, so I’m really sorry that I’m not sorry that I did it.”
Rana didn’t answer but nodded her head once.
Cassie smiled at her, then addressed the others. “Next, I’d like to apologize to everyone. I was sleep-deprived and tormented, but that doesn’t excuse my actions. I was a coward, and a jerk, and I know I said things and did things I’m not proud of to each of you. If I snapped at you, or insulted you, or dragged you down, I’m sorry.”
“Do not be sorry.” Lea shed a tear. “We do not blame you. And I do not think anyone here will hold it against you now. We forgive you.”
Wendi grew misty-eyed, Daniel wore a sympathetic quiet smile, and even Kenta seemed somber as he stared deep into the fire and sighed.
“Lastly, I want to thank you, Paul.” His head snapped up to look Cassie in the eyes. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. What had he done to deserve thanks? “I guess you don’t know what you did, but I owe you my soul as well.
“After we traded life-force the day you transformed, I found a candle in my Inner World. Your candle. With the demon there, my mind became a fog-choked forest where I was always lost. Because of your light, I found my way out. I can’t tell you how thankful I am.”
Cassie sniffled and wiped her pretty leaf-shaped nose as tears made trails on her face. “And Daniel helped me find the courage to face the nightmares. And I want to thank Wendi, and Lea, and Kenta for letting me drink them. You all saved me.
“Anyway…” She sniffed again and cleared her throat. “I shouldn’t leave this out. After I destroyed the demon, the fog cleared. My Progenitor was there, and he spoke to me.”
Paul noticed Rana stiffen at the mention of a Progenitor, then pretend she hadn’t moved.
“He was creepy, and awful, but he taught me the forms and magic I used to escape the mages’ trap, so I’ll offer up a begrudging thanks to him as well. Except, I found out he, uh, tastes who I drink. That’s why he was watching me—on account of all the… Rana-blood I’d had. Since he’s pretty much evil, I’m swearing off all blood drinking.
“Then I woke up and you guys know the rest, except maybe that Rana snuck Tarō a Shew Stone with a connection to mine, so we’ve been in communication since leaving the Tsukumogami.” Cassie drummed her delicate piano fingers on her knee as if something were bothering her. Then she said, “Also, I can leave my body when I’m asleep and fly into the Nightscape. I met a very nice Nightwalker, and we’re friends now.”
“WHAT!” Daniel, Paul, Kenta, and Lea shouted in unison.
“What?” Cassie tossed her hair with indifference.
“It’s dangerous!” Daniel said.
“It’s crazy!” Kenta said.
“It could be a monster in disguise!” Lea said.
“What’s their name?” Wendi asked.
Cassie smiled at the devil girl. “Their name is Auge.”
“‘Their’?” Daniel said, “You don’t even know if it’s a ‘He’ or a ‘She’?”
“What does that matter, Daniel? They haven’t self-identified yet, and it seemed rude to ask.”
“The point is,” Daniel said, “You don’t know anything about this potentially dangerous stranger.”
“The point is,” Cassie replied in a testy tone, “I know Auge is one of a group of Wildlings just like us. We should meet them!—In case you hadn’t noticed, the Wilderness is a dangerous place. Expanding our group could improve our chances of survival and finding the T.O.”
“In case you hadn’t noticed—” Daniel got a little heated too, “—The Wilderness is a dangerous place. Going off by yourself into the freaking Nightscape that I don’t even know what it is and meeting someone on your own with no backup and what even happens to you if you can’t return to your body?”
Cassie shrugged. “I guess it’s like dying in real life, except my body sticks around… braindead coma.”
“And you thought it was okay to bet your life on this gamble without telling anyone?” Daniel glared at her.
Lea cleared her throat before Daniel continued his tirade, drawing everyone’s attention instantly. “Cassie, we are concerned for your wellbeing. We realize you were busy during our stay with the Tsukumogami, but at the time we were seriously worried you would not ever wake. No doubt you understand the dangers of this Nightscape better than anyone here, however, I hope you try to consider the feelings of the people who care about you most.
“I know my heart was not the only one to skip a beat when Rana struggled to wake you a moment ago. I would rather not spend an hour a day wondering if I had seen my friend’s smile for the last time.”
The tugs on Cassie’s heartstrings worked wonders compared to Daniel’s scolding. The bat girl squirmed uncomfortably as she imagined how the others must have felt while she was in her fever coma.
“Argh, well, but don’t you guys think we should be making allies?”
“No,” Kenta said. “We have enough trouble amongst ourselves. Whatever help a new face brings would be outmatched by the conflicts, the arguments, and the risk. How are we supposed to vet these allies? Locust and Lumiere were in charge of judging character in the T.O., and none of us are so wise. How can we trust total strangers with our lives?”
“Surprised as I am, I agree with Kenta. Daniel was the latest addition to our group, four years ago,” Rana said as she looked at him. “Would these allies risk their lives for our goals?” She looked at Cassie. “Who would you trust to catch you?” She gazed into the fire. “Who would you let into this circle?”
Paul saw what she meant. If they let in other people, they’d have to accept them as equals. If these allies formed a majority that voted not to go after the lost members of the T.O., would they be able to abide that decision? It was a tough question.
“Hold on,” Daniel shook his head. “In principle, I’m with Cassie on this issue. That’s two verses two. We need to settle this with a vote. What’s our stance on new members? Raise your hand for ‘Yay.’”
Wendi raised her hand. “More members mean more friends.”
Paul joined her. “More members mean more Clairs.” They would need those once he’d told his part.
Lea made five. “More members mean we are stronger together. That was the point of the Traveling Orphanage. Locust brought along anyone willing for as long as they wanted if they meant us no harm. My belief is we should continue that tradition.”
“Then it’s settled. We’ll pick up allies wherever we see the chance, and there’ll be an official confirmation vote on each new member’s character. New members are a big deal, so it has to be three-fourths in favor—not just majority rules. That’ll be five for the seven of us.” Daniel frowned again at Cassie. “Although I’m against pursuing a member the rest of us can’t interact with.”
“Nope.” Cassie shook her head. “I don’t care if it’s six-to-one, you made up the rules after the fact. Auge and I are already friends. I’m not severing ties because you don’t approve. My sole concession is that I’ll do my visits while people are asleep. That way I’ll have plenty of time to return to my body, and you don’t have to worry about me unless I don’t wake up in the morning.”
The others didn’t seem to like Cassie’s decision, but there was really nothing they could do. Daniel said it before; they couldn’t punish one another except by disapproval.
“If it’s any consolation,” Rana said, “Chiropterans are the best Nightwalkers of any race except the Nightshades themselves—you know, one of the Seven, the race whose bodies are living Night and spend their time in the Castle of Infinite Darkness. She’s as safe as anyone can be in a place as chock-full of monsters as the Wilderness itself.”
“Thanks, Rana.” The bat girl grinned, her sharp canines flashing in the firelight.
“What race are they?” Rana said.
“Cyclops.”
“Hmm, the Mokumokuren. Did you look into their eye?”
Cassie seemed offended. “Auge already told me about their hypnotism ability because my friend trusts me and wants me to trust them. And it doesn’t matter anyway because I’m blind… I did not mean to say that.”