Cassie

I awoke in the shrouded forest. I sat up, determined to find that candle, when I heard the rustling noise behind me. It’d been waiting for me and wasted no time.

I was inside the Nightmare before I could react. I wandered through the endless parade of bare tree trunks. I ran; I had to find the candle before things went wrong. In the distance, I heard something mammoth moving through the forest. Something that snapped branches like twigs. Something that could make the trees shake.

I knew this nightmare, and I couldn’t believe how far along it was already. Things never escalated this quickly. Though all the build-up had been skipped, I knew this as the Rana dream.

As I sprinted, I cursed the useless hands swinging at my sides. If I had my wings, I could fly above the trees to escape.

I think I hated this one worst. It wasn’t my most feared; that was the spider dream. It wasn’t because Rana’s monster did the most damage; that would be Daniel’s or Lea’s, depending on luck. It wasn’t because it made me the saddest; that one was… no, I can’t again.

“CASSIE! LEA! DANIEL! SOMEBODY! ANYBODY! PLEASE, DON’T LEAVE ME HERE!” The voice thundered over the forest, warped, garbled, and broken, the corrupted copy of a static-laced tape recording.

I hated this nightmare the worst because I felt sorry for the monster. I’ve been good friends with Rana for the five years since she and her brother joined the T.O. During all that time, I’ve noticed something strange about her that no one without my sense of hearing could. When lives are on the line, when death looms, with the situation at its worst, Rana’s heart rate is completely normal. Where anyone else would panic, she is calm.

Even when desperately struggling—during that time with Red Tail, or escaping from Eastwood, or when we went playing by ourselves as kids and fought a beast—on the inside, she is cold. Not calculating, not thoughtful, more like the absence of thought. The rest of her brain turns OFF so she can focus everything on achieving her goal.

People, on the other hand, are an utterly different matter for her. Talking to them makes her heart race like a frightened rabbit. At first, I thought she feared them—all of them. I knew instinctively the two of us, both in our own ways, were ruled by fear. I just didn’t understand why.

Once, when I was eight, Lea convinced Rana to play with us. Everyone was laughing and having fun, and I hugged Rana; I don’t remember why. I was much more open then. There didn’t have to be a reason. Then again, I’d been fascinated with the thought Rana feared me since I couldn’t imagine my tiny self scaring anyone. Maybe I wanted to see what would happen.

She froze when we touched, her heart rate rising, and she stood there like she didn’t know what to do. Then she raised her arms to embrace me. I remember being held delicately like a butterfly that might flit away at the slightest provocation. Then I realized she didn’t fear me. What felt so real and imminent to Rana that it dominated her thoughts was the fear I would fly away and never return.

I can’t imagine what happened to make her like this. She never talks about her life before the T.O. in any detail. Barely mentions that she and Bufo wandered the Wilderness for a while if pressed.

“PLEASE, PAUL, KENTA, WENDI! WHERE ARE YOU?”

What I do know is that Rana’s monster is a creature of loss and despair. All the more dangerous because she’s looking for me, and I have to wonder if it’s because I abandoned her. That sounds like something I’d do—leave my friend alone and suffering.

I also know this monster is dangerously close to happening. Mounting stress has pushed Rana to the edge, facing threats on all sides with no relief. It’s not like I’ve been helping. There’s no telling what the last straw could be; I’ve seen this nightmare start in so many forms. If she were to face the loss of one of us, there’s no way she could endure.

Both Rana’s monster and the rustling sound chased me. I ran until my heart pounded in my head, and my sides ached. I cursed my human eyes, blinded by the fog. If I had my bat ears, I’d at least know where my enemies were and avoid them.

Then I saw the light a dozen yards ahead.

In one last mad dash, I pushed myself in the insane hope that somehow I could fix everything if I just got that candle! Monstrous footsteps grew louder and closer. The rustling leaves marking the Nightmare’s steps neared and… there it was! I scraped my knees sliding in to grab the candlestick from the ground, stood, and kept running.

The excitement of triumph was short-lived as my pursuers closed. The candle didn’t seem to be doing anything, and I nearly gave up from the burning of my lungs and frustration. I kept on running past the pain in my gut and my heart and my head until the sounds behind me faded, receding into the fog.

I heard one last scream of sorrow as Rana’s raging monster tore loose a tree and sent it crashing into the forest. Then silence. While I expected the Nightmare to suddenly reappear behind me, It never showed. Utterly spent and aching, I fell against a tree and closed my eyes—candlestick in hand.

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My eyes fluttered open. After humming in ultrasonic, I took in my surroundings. We were riding Kenta across a savannah with a smattering of island mountains and cliffs. The heat on my skin spoke of day hours after we’d needed it. Daniel and Paul were out cold, the rest half asleep.

Rana sat beside me, watching with intensity. She’d stayed by my side through the whole thing. My heart melted with gratitude.

:You didn’t scream again,: Rana noted.

I still felt like crap. :How are the others?:

:Everyone’s fine, but Daniel is in a coma.: I heard the worry in her voice she tried in vain to bury. I sensed the heat of her skin flushed with anxiety for his sake.

I Listened for Daniel’s future, :Nothing will be able to wake him for at least another few hours, and even then, he’d have zero magic. He’ll need another eight hours after that to recover fully.:

:He went that close to the limit?: Rana relaxed a degree once I confirmed he’d wake on his own, eventually.

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Extending my senses, I Listened to the distant edges of the world. After filtering the sounds of wind, birds, bugs, and animals, I found the Black Dog. I mapped his projected future course and judged time with our speed for reference.

:Tesem will catch us in half an hour if we don’t do something.:

She nodded in comprehension and offered me her arm. :Daniel is asleep.:

I thought about it. I’d be lying if I said her offer wasn’t tempting. The others frightened me. She was my most reliable, willing, and comforting source. It would’ve been so easy to fall into the old habit without Daniel disapproving.

Then I remembered Rana.

Despite having all the pieces, it took me going directly from the nightmare to this moment to grasp it. I knew Rana’s monster and her fear. Before, I felt I’d been taking advantage of her generosity, which was true. Also true: Rana knew I was a coward.

She’d known I’d run away when the group stalled in Radio World. That I’d flee the pain of watching Lea’s withdrawal, Wendi’s memory loss, and my own weakness. One thing would keep me coming back every day. A need. If only a need for comfort and convenience, that would be enough.

I thought about how terribly the mage battle had worn on her. How hard she’d pushed herself. How much she’d suffered because of me. For her, anything and everything was worth keeping the group together.

I thought about how Rana’s monster called out in the nightmare, and no one answered. In the waking world, she never spoke it aloud, but her heart was always calling, ‘Please, stay.’

Is calling. I can hear you, Rana. I can hear you.

I knew any blood I took from her would be sour from then on. I knew I had to do my part. I knew I had to refuse without pushing her away. I had to face my fears.

:Thanks, but no. I have something I need to do. In fact, I could use some moral support on this. Will you stay by my side?:

Rana blinked in surprise, more than a little confused, but sent, :Yes.: I got up slowly, legs wobbly from lack of use and lack of balance on Kenta’s rumbling hair tank. Rana caught me with gentle hands when I stumbled and helped me over to Wendi.

The red devil girl leaned her head against the braided railing. She had Daniel nestled in the crook of one arm, and my goodness was he cute. Just a little bundle of twigs without a leader’s determination propping up the tent. Come to think of it, Wendi looked darn cute too. She had the sweetest grin on her face, like she had it all figured out; like she knew her place in the universe, and it was right here. What’s more, they were adorable together—like a pile of puppies. Real comfy. Can’t blame me for wanting to join the slumber party.

Wendi yawned herself awake when she noticed us standing there. :Hi,: she smiled, sending so as not to wake anyone with conversation.

:Hey.: I sent, not knowing how to begin.

After a bit of an awkward pause, she gave a friendly, :What’s up?:

I gulped. :Remember how I was looking for people willing to donate blood?:

Wendi cocked her head to the side like a confused puppy. :I thought my skin was too tough?:

I’d let that untruth slide until now. :It’s worth a shot,: I sent with a shrug.

:Okay, c’mere.: She signaled me with her free hand. Not wanting her to disturb Daniel by accommodating me, I sat on her thigh opposite him to get in position. Her giant arm and hand held me as I readied myself at her inner elbow. I hesitated. Something wasn’t right.

This was one rare time being ‘colorblind’ became a problem for me.

:What are you waiting for? Take a bite.: A familiar voice rang in my head. Enormous claws cradled me, and I shook with fear. :We both know that excuse was bullcrap. Your kind is blessed with a strong bite and sharp teeth, after all.:

Wendigo’s eyes darted to follow movement. :Don’t even think about it, Froggy,: she sent to Rana, who froze. :One wrong move, and they’re both dead.: She clicked her claws over Daniel and me. :I’ve been paying attention, and I don’t think you can do whatever you did to save him before a second time. So, I recommend you take a few good steps back and let the two of us hash things out like the old friends we are.:

My heart sank as Rana did as she was told.

The blue devil turned to me and continued as she grinned a shark’s smile, :We have a lot to catch up on.:

:Don’t be scared—Ziege may act all gruff and mean, but she’s really a good person who doesn’t want to hurt anybody.:

Suddenly nothing made any sense. I stared slack-jawed, processing what I’d just heard.

An expression of annoyance at being interrupted flitted across Wendigo’s face—along with a touch of fear quickly hidden, but I was well acquainted with fear, and had a special knack for noticing it. :Wendi, remember what I said? This is a private conversation between friends. You don’t mind giving us a few minutes to ourselves?:

:Oh, yeah, sorry. I’ll leave you two to your bonding time. Bye Cassie, bye Ziege,: Wendi’s voice faded with those last words.

:Bye, Wendi,: the blue devil sent and waited till she was sure Wendi’s presence departed.

I shook my head, :You’re not Ziege.:

She shrugged. :Lies to children. I needed a name. Didn’t want to confuse her.:

:How can you be here? Nothing should’ve triggered you.: I was in denial.

:Yes,: Wendigo chuckled. :You and Daniel made the same mistake. It’s funny because he knows it’s wrong. He has this dumb little saying, ‘Correlation does not equal causation.’ It means just because I show up every time something goes wrong doesn’t mean the bad thing caused me to appear.

:I let you all believe that for my convenience. The truth is, I can take the fore at any time because I control this body.:

I couldn’t accept reality. My mind tried to function, but the gears wouldn’t turn. My fate unfolded before me. :Who are you?:

She scoffed. :You seriously haven’t figured it out by now? Are you an idiot? Who do you think I am? I’m the real Wendi!:

I cracked. I couldn’t help it. I started crying.

:When Ziege died, and everything went to Hell, I had to become someone who could handle that crap. Who better to emulate than my sister, hence this shape. I left behind my innocence with my original form, the happy, red Wendi. Since then, I’ve done everything—everything—to protect her smile. The memory wipes, killing bad guys, everything.

:Isn’t it ironic? I thought Daniel would be useless except as a tool to grant me the power of a true monster. Imagine my surprise when our goals aligned! I wanted to make Wendi happy. He wanted to make Wendi happy. So, I let him.

:In fact, Daniel’s the only bloody one of you who’s done a damn thing for her. That’s why I help him, even if he’s fool enough to try saving you lot.

:Except you, Cassie.: She showed me her jaws. :For you, I make the exception.: She’d never spoken in the dream, but I’d Heard this happen so many times I felt the nightmare coming true around me.

:You were our best friend.:

These were Wendigo’s thoughts as she chased me through the woods. This was the pain in her heart driving her to take vengeance on me. It was nothing I hadn’t earned.

:You flew off on your own when the demon attacked, helping yourself instead of us.:

Yes, I was afraid. More scared than I’d ever been because I knew what was coming. Shame for myself and sorrow for her overwhelmed me from the depths of my being. These words hurt worse than any wound because they were true, but I didn’t beg for mercy.

:You ignored us when we were alone.:

I had no right to beg. All I could say was, :I’m sorry.:

:You plugged your ears to our screams of pain.:

I clung to her and wept. :I’m so sorry.:

:You abandoned me when I needed you most.:

Never again. I swear I will never abandon anyone ever again.

:I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!: I repeated over and over.

:For this and all your failures, I’ll kill you.:

I sobbed and buried my face against her, waiting to be torn apart, but the claws never came. I returned my attention to Wendigo and was shocked to find her crying too.

:I don’t get it. The demon said you’d run. It was supposed to be the perfect revenge.: She laughed once, and the sound seemed pathetic. :Where’s the justice? Why pick now to grow a spine?: With one claw, she brushed aside a strand of hair that had fallen over my face. :Why are you still my…?:

Then Wendigo was gone.

Wendi blinked her eyes open as if from sleep. :Hey, did you two have fu—: Her light tone shifted to concern as she saw my tear-stained face and felt her own wet cheeks. :I see things got heavy while I was out. At least the two of you cleared things up; I’m sure it’ll get better from here.:

Rana put a hand on my shoulder. I wanted to wrap her in a hug, but Wendi continued with an important point, :Cassie, you look like you could use a drink.: