750 ml of whiskey, enough spirit to turn a fully grown man into a slobbering mess, yet here I am, still awfully sober.

"Sigh"

At this point I'm just drinking for the burn, but a tiny part of my heart still harbors hope, that today something is going to change, that maybe today things will be different and maybe the situation will change. After all what is a man without hope?

"Yet I'm still sober and still see your ugly mug"

I say to the eldritch horror in the corner, another perk of my horrible nightmares is that now I'm officially schizophrenic! And I receive money from the state! Yay! I'm disabled b!tches!

And my disabled ass decided that today I need to have a threesome with some chocolate ice cream, because I'm sick you know? It's medicine for my soul!

Mmmm yes, the pain is tolerable now and I can finally get out of the couch without feeling like dying.

"Well, I'm actually dying today, so I should dress appropriately! Wouldn't you say so, Ben?"

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

But the eldritch horror remains silent.

"Party pooper."

Whatever, it seems like Ben wants to keep up the act till the end, what a boring guy.

"Wait!! Don't tell me! You are actually a girl?"

I gasp at surprise at my reasonable deduction. Mmm, yeah, that would make perfect sense in this situation, right? My genius astounds me sometimes.

I mean, if you think about it carefully, it would explain a lot of things. Imagine this situation: you, just chilling in your corner when suddenly a human male starts to furiously jack off in front of you. I would be appalled if the dude that I've been staring at for a couple of months suddenly decided to do that. No wonder he/she doesn't want to talk to me. Oh shit, there is something even more important here!

"I've been calling you Ben! But you are a girl!"

Uhhhh what would be the female version of the name Ben? Bennet? Benjamina? Benjamine?

Wait, no, no, I'm getting sidetracked and missing thereal point!

"Dear lord, I'm a pervert! I've been doing this in front of a lady!"

As I think about it something is growing below me, ah, duck, maybe I'm really a pervert? And a voyeurist at that? I really should die. I mean, I shouldn't even think about it in the first place. I've been watching way too many things with tentacles lately...

It's definitely the fault of the IT guys, I mean, who else has the money to fund those artists? And for them to become so good about it? Jesus! Another shocking deduction today! Uhh, no wait, two shocking deductions today!

"I'm a pervert, and the IT sector is funding the porn industry."

Frightening news, seems like death has given me clarity of mind?

"Well, what do you say, bennifer? Last one for the road?"

It remains silent.

I feel that I should be scared or something, I mean, I sure freaked out the first time that I saw this thing. But the only thing it does is look at me; those golden eyes are really disturbing though.

"Goodbye Ben, it was nice meeting you dude, even though the only thing you did was to stare at me."

Done with my goodbyes, I grab my keys and leave.