I walked over to the office desk in the corner and sat down in the chair. Okay, maybe am I overreacting? I'm already in a different universe, and now? Now I'm just on a houseboat, floating in some kind of strange subspace, probably along with some cosmic horrors too.
"Oh God, please let this be a nightmare."
Clutching my head in both hands, I despair as I try not to think about the implications of what she just said.
A hand touches my shoulder and I see Ben looking at me with concern.
"Everything alright, mortal?"
"Ben, we're safe here, right?"
She tilts her head in confusion.
"Why wouldn't we be safe?"
I inhale deeply, and exhale.
In and out.
"Ben, you just told me we're in some kind of weird rift, and before that, that the multiverse was real."
"Yes?"
"Ben, If the multiverse is real, then that means everything Lovecraft wrote is also real, and right now? We are in the kind of space that yog-sothoth would go on his holidays, don't you see any of concern here?"
"Ah, I see now, well my distant cousins are indeed quite troublesome, but you don't have to worry about that, when Azathot woke up a few millennia ago he attempted to invade my master territory, and for that, he gave him a good thrashing! Azathot has been unconscious ever since and my cousins don't bother us unless they want to take a beating."
What?
"What?"
Brain not braining. Please restart the computer.
Suddenly, one of the buttons on her shirt popped off and I found myself thanking God for his grace, I should also thank the magic ball, don't you worry my man! I'll definitely build you a shrine!
I etched this moment into my memory, unfortunately it didn't last before a gust of wind forced me to close my eyes.
The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.
"It was a bad idea to wear that outfit..."
She mumbled something else but my monkey brain has rebooted and I can now focus on the matter at hand.
"Let me get this right, your master thrashed the ruler of the outer gods? The one who is said to be nigh omnipotent and omniscient?"
She puffed her chest with pride, even with a hoodie those things are huge.
"Yes!! Do you understand how amazing my master is now, mortal?"
I looked at her chest, they were massive and perky at the same time. That shouldn't be possible.
"He is indeed, I'm building a shrine for him in my room."
Without warning I found myself again between the softest pillows in the universe. Ah, is this paradise? It's a little hard to breathe but who cares! I'll build you the coolest shrine, magic ball! I think I can die happily now.
"You really will mortal!!? YES! I can't believe you'll follow my master now too! I'll show you my shrine so you can take inspiration!"
I thought it was some anime nonsense but I really can't breathe. Ah, my brain is not getting enough oxygen, I'm trying to push her away from me, but she is too strong and doesn't seem to hear me, she's still freaking out and rambling about her master, the magic ball, ah fuck my little Johnson don't do that, I need that blood or I'm going to pass out.
Why are these things so soft...
fuuuuck.
-----
I woke up in my room with a mild headache.
"That was unexpectedly dangerous..."
I also think that I've awakened a new kink, that's bad.
"Nope...yeah, no ,not going there."
Asphyxiation by soft pillows, dreadful.
I walk down the stairs to the first floor to grab something to eat, my stomach is rumbling and I can't keep passing out.
"Ah, hello mortal. I'm sorry about what happened earlier, I got a bit overexcited and I'm still not quite in control of this form."
Ben greets me looking quite embarrassed.
"Ahem, don't worry, mistakes happen."
An awkward silence ensues, I should say something but I don't know what. This is so awkward...
"Coffee?"
She offers me.
"Ah yes, thank you."
Hmmmm this is delicious. Now that I look at her she looks different, OH NO!
"You look different Ben."
I say with a strained smile.
"Glad you noticed, mortal, after you passed out I realized there was something wrong with my body, the original body you saw was something I picked out from your memories, but after looking at the female mortals outside I realized that my body was not anatomically correct, so I decided to make some adjustments."
"Is that so..."
she looks at me quizzically.
"Are you okay, mortal?"
No, I'm not okay, I want to cry and scream! My heart is filled with sorrow to the point of death, that anime girl is now dead, and so is my heart.
"Ah yes, sorry, just remembered the thing about Azathot."
She nods in understanding.
"Don't worry, mortal, even if he wakes up again my master will beat him."
I can't help but imagine the magic ball with veins full of anger, beating black and blue a cosmic horror.
"Hahaha, yeah the magic ball is awesome like that isn't?"
She puffs her chest in pride, huh, still pretty big, nice.
"Yes! My master is the mightiest!"
She's kinda cute when she acts like that.
"Well, I guess I don't have to worry about Cthulhu coming for holidays then."
I chuckled at that, Cthulhu coming on vacation.
"About that...he is actually coming on vacation."
I spit out my coffee.
"WHAT!?"
"Ben! You just told me we're safe here!"
Oh no, Cthulhu is coming.
"Don't worry, mortal, He is nothing like his brothers. Well, he used to be but he is a different man now!"
"What do you mean Ben?"
"Well...to start with, the human concept of good and evil is something alien to most of us, most of the time we don't care about that kind of thing. We may occasionally obliterate civilizations...but it's not on purpose! Like I told you before it is pretty hard to cross the veil of reality, so whenever we manage to, we mainly focus on managing our avatars, sometimes it's hard to notice the little life forms around you. Have you ever minded not stepping on an ant, Martin?"
My face turned ashen as I gripped the coffee cup tightly, my heart is palpitating wildly against my ribcage, why is it so loud?!? Oh no, she can probably hear it.
Fuck,fuck, fuck, fuck,fuck,fuck.
I was so lost in my horny that I completely forgot what Ben was.
"Please...don't be afraid of me."
She came awfully close to me. I can feel her breasts pressing against my chest, a few minutes ago I would probably be having a hell of a boner, but right now? I'm shitting bricks because I'm seeing her golden eyes and I'm acutely aware that she is not human