I woke up with a start again. I've already lost the number of times that this happened and I couldn't help but curse my luck as I stare at the roof of my decrepit old apartment, well not mine since I'm renting it but potato potato.

The same nightmare over and over again and of course with a cup of migraine to top it off...

"fuc...duck me"

I cursed again as I stood up and went to the bathroom to wash my face, no way I was going back to sleep now, at least not after this. I would know this since I've tried who knows how many times doing whatever you may think of! Counting sheep, exercising, drugs, jacking off, more drugs, meditation and maybe more drugs and nothing works! Goddammit it's like my brain is on fire trying to process my nightmare.

"Heh...hahahah"

I laugh hollowly while I cry, it's been months non stop since the nightmares started and I think I'm starting to lose it my life was already hard before this and now... I contemplate whether a bullet would do it or maybe something more tame? I don't want to traumatize my family. 

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"Mmmhhhh"

I crunch my jaws in concentration thinking about it. Maybe an accident? Yeah make it look like an accident so they don't feel so bad about it, maybe a gas leak would do... It wouldn't be a surprise with how shitty this apartment is, honestly if anything I'm more surprised at the fact that it hasn't happened already.

"Yeah that would do"

With a course of action I wash my face and think about the plan; I don't wanna screw this since there are a lot of ways that this could go wrong for my neighbors and they don't need more problems and they don't deserve it either...mmmmhh maybe that prick from the second floor deserves it.

Thinking about that maybe I should do a bucket list before leaving, God knows that there are a lot of things that I need to do! Like eating that super mega magnus chocolate ice cream with white chocolate and strawberry yogurt and even more chocolate! or maybe a trio? They say it's confusing and not really that amazing but if I'm gonna go then I definitely need to know...for scientific purposes of course but that's gonna be expensive for sure, the ladies that offer those sorts of services aren't exactly cheap.

"Probably worth it"

I think aloud, but oh well since I'm leaving I might as well blow my money on stuff that I want. I wonder if I can have a trio and then eat my ice cream at the same time? Uhhhh maybe not; it doesn't seem feasible but...who knows? thought for later.

For now? Now I'm gonna finish the jack Daniels that I have for emergencies and try to forget the current reason for my pains