Damn… It’s been a while since I’ve touched this thing. I guess I could always try to catch myself up, but… Wow. I almost had to start over, Booksy. Remember when I first picked you up? Man, that feels like forever ago, but it’s only been a year and a half. I don’t really know why I decided to start writing in you again. Maybe it’s because life actually got interesting for a change? Ah, I know you can’t laugh, but I got a giggle out of that. Yes, Booksy, for the first time in damn near six months, I started writing music again and making my own shit to play. Granted, it was mostly to pass the time and entertain my posse, but still. It was great for keeping spirits high, but there were also the occasional gifts that we gave each other to keep things interesting. For example, Stella just made me a gift for myself and one for someone I’ll have to track down, and I also made her a significantly cooler set of broad-heads than she’d previously had.
What’s that, Booksy? What have I been up to before the last few days?
Getting my ass, kicked, that’s friggin’ what. After it became clear that my cadre was lethal and that I was the weakest link, Stella practically demanded that she be allowed to train me into a fighting minstrel, which I really thought sounded terrible. A brawling bard would be cool, but I’d played D&D in my years and Bards? We typically don’t do the fight-punch-kick. We sing the songs, get laid, and sing more songs, which I wanted to do for Stella while we waited for the Songweavers to arrive. Sadly, it just wasn’t in the cards for me and Stella was the main reason why. She healed quickly enough to get herself to top form in just a few short weeks of rest, so she then spent most of her time trying to make me use Arca as I fought or to just be good at fighting in general. As it turned out, Partners were just a cut above everyone else, which I’d already known. I had to reiterate that to Stella when she floored me for what felt like the thousandth time in a four-month period and asked her why she was training me so hard. Her elegant reasoning was ‘For something to do, mostly.’. And to make me sexier, which I couldn’t argue against.
Speaking of coitus and looking good for that particular act, Stella and I both wanted to alight to the nearest bathroom with running water, but that’s not to say we never had the supplies to bathe. We just didn’t have hot water and that was a pain in the ass, but it was alright enough. Being clean and unshaven wasn’t always fun, so I spent many of my days teaching Inova how to ignore the itch by strumming the plublass until I eventually had to replace the strings a couple of days ago. I barely remembered how to do it, so it took me a while but the thing sounded completely different with a fresh set of strummers on them. Bast asked if I would play her a new song as soon as I got the plublass tuned, but Inova saw the sadness in my eyes. When she asked what was wrong, I had to admit that I felt like I was leaving a part of myself off of my instrument, just replacing the strings I had learned to play the thing with and had taught others as well… It brought up Memories of ‘Gatling Gatian’ and the Raphtal Raiders, as short-lived as the band was. I missed Max and Gloss, but Lucine? There was no chance that I would ever see him again, and even as we waited for the Weavers to show their faces, I couldn’t help but think of the helpers and nurses at the Tidrel Welcome Center. They’d been sad to see me go, and the looks on their faces as they’d seen me leave... There was something about the memory that struck me as odd, even as little as I’d thought about it since leaving the town. Still, I was far more concerned about what they would think when I returned without Luce.
Stella soon assured me that she would do something with the strings for me, but I didn’t want anything done with them. Still, I trusted my girlfriend or [Loved Maiden] (We labeled it, Booksy. Be jealous.) to do right by me, and she took the strings and fucked off somewhere. Bast and I talked about my old friend and I avoided drinking my sadness away, but it was a slow process. I was still in the process of drying out for once and for all, but Stella was adamant about me not trying to cold-turkey the sauce, even if I’d only been addicted for a few long months. She was still wary about letting her River Person experience withdrawal and worse symptoms, but for the most part, without all the extra carbs and sugars I’d been drinking, I was looking kind of skeletal… I mean, I’d had a few extra pounds when I first arrived on Septural, but before then I’d had a few more to my memory. It just felt like with every major change in my life, I shed more and more weight and saw more and more of my bones. Bast wasn’t terribly concerned about it since she kept everyone pretty well-fed through hunting, hunting, and hunting, but she did become a little frightened by my form when she saw me without clothes one time. Her previous apathy had been to my benefit and had kept Stellara Inova from Mother-Henning me to death and back, but when Bast saw each and every one of my ribs? Shit, I couldn’t have gotten away from them if I wanted to.
I spent many of my days eating as I had the day before, spending little in the way of time honing my music and making more songs since Stella and Bast were constantly getting me more food and whatever. I eventually got them to stop so I could play them my new song, but then Stella swore like she’d cut herself cooking (Which she had and had barely noticed) and ran out of the house. Bast and I lazily followed her to another quarter of the town that Stella had explored and declared largely boring, so no one went over there. However, we managed to follow her to the fucking Artisan’s street and saw a few cool things we probably would have wanted to see last month when we finished combing the rest of the visible, non-dangerous parts of the mine. However, when Stella came from a metallurgist’s shop with her scarred smile wide and her bright blue eyes sparkling? My heart melted like it did every other day when I woke up next to her and I had a hard time blaming her for keeping a lovely surprise a secret.
We came to meet in the middle of the street quite a decent distance away from our house, my arms folded in front of me. Bast grumbled about tricksy Human women and Stella practically skipping with her arms behind her. The chest I was still so fond of snuggling up to at night still seemed quite perky and bounced freely as she’d stopped wearing undergarments some time ago. I’d only seen them after she’d cast them into the trash and I still respected that Stella was a deeply devout woman, so I’d yet to see her in the full-buff but still. I could ask any time I wanted and do as I pleased, although would I really be that guy? Every time she smiled she could have been flashing me something completely different every time and it would have the same effect. When she came to a stop in front of me and started to play coy, Bast huffed and started walking around us as she usually did to keep watch.
I took Stella into my arms and gave her a mildly frustrated smile. “Don’t tell me there’s an Artificer’s shop here, Inova.”
She pouted slightly, her regal, torture-hardened appearance clashing with her projected emotion. It didn’t mean she failed to pull it off though. “I wouldn’t keep your runes from you, my noble Watcher!”
My brow twitched involuntarily since she had me. The only thing I’d really wanted to find was an Artificer’s shop. Everything else was under my radar. “Mhm. I know, so what have you been keeping this little gold mine to yourself for, hmm? Has someone been-” I saw the smile that broke out on her face again in the wake of my all too non-scolding words. “Okay, what is it?”
Stella started twisting from side to side. “Oh, I just… Well…”
“Mhm?”
“Maybe I…”
“Weren’t you doing something with Luce’s plublass strings?” I asked, having nearly forgotten about it.
She smiled widely and presented her left hand, holding a small jewelry box fit for a ring. “I believe my barde may find the product of my efforts kiss-worthy~”
I raised a brow and accepted the gift. “First off, I‘d kiss you for free ninety-nine, but... Stella, you didn’t have to make me anything-”
“Didn’t you make me a new string for my bow from part of Luce’s strings?”
“... Yeah? Is it not-”
“It works much better than a conventional string, but I fear I will break my bow with too much force.” She laughed and waved it aside. “Open your gift, Gatian! I want to hear you use it!”
I couldn’t help but chuckle at that and did as she asked, immediately surprised by what I found. Inside was a pick, but it wasn’t your average tool. No, it was a Damascus steel pick with more intricate patterning in the metal than any I’d ever seen before. I couldn’t imagine how many folds it had taken to get something that wouldn’t bend with heavy use, or how she’d even managed to get the strings to stay together for a billet in the first place, but there it was. It even had a bracelet attached to it with a clasp that fits just right around my wrist. My friend, my favorite drinking buddy, my slave-driving taskmaster of a mentor… My right-hand man. Luce was always going to be by my side now, and it was one of the most beautiful pieces I could have ever asked for. Inova earned herself a kiss and a hug, which is when I felt a longer box behind her back, tucked into the back of her trousers. Somehow. She still had plenty of posterior to share, so I imagined that it was tight, uncomfortable squeeze. Paying it little mind, I let her tie it affix it around my neck as we did the snogging of a lifetime before I gave her a break from my salty embrace. Clutching the pick, I looked at the woman I wanted to make my wife and just smiled.
“Thank you, Stella.” I bit back more tears.
She pouted again. “You haven’t even looked at the necklace!”
“It’s the largest string cut down and probably made into the shape of a gun while still being entirely made from the strings.” I chuckled, sussing out the design from the hints she’d dropped over time that had seemed unrelated to anything for awhile.
“Oh.”
“I can keep the pick, but the necklace has to go to his River Person.”
She smiled gently. “Then wear it for her until you can tell her what happened. Until then, would you like to hear the music you make with your new plucker?”
I thought about it. “I… Probably can’t really use it. It’s going to wreck my strings…”
Stella rolled her eyes. “Oh. No. Metal-on-metal. Who-would-have-thought-of-that?” She monotoned her words so hard I thought she was going to turn beige.
“Yeah, keep it up Granny.”
She coloured. “I am only four Earth years older than you! We are nearly the same age on Septural!”
I stuck my tongue out at her and it got licked. Once I got the taste of caramel and cream off of my tastebuds, I said, “Septural’s years make no sense. It’s like living here is living in reverse dog-years.”
“You’ve lived here long enough to get used to it,” she huffed.
I gave Stella another hug and let her lean away from me. “Oh, baby~ I can’t wait to make beautiful music for you next year~”
“That’s an entire year away!”
I blinked. “Wait, what-”
“You arrived in the middle of the last third of summer. It is now first spring in Gerritt, if the stars speak the truth,” Stella said dryly.
“... What. I’ve been here for like-”
“Yes, a full Earth year and then some. Did you really not know why I made a feast for you?”
My jaw dropped and I felt my heartbeat escalate like an anchor through water. “... Was I supposed to-”
Stella leaned forward. “Supposed to…? Alvage (Al-vah-gay. Don’t ask me, she won’t tell.), there is very little that a River Person is expected to know in their years on Septural. You are not really expected to know much about anything other than the place you settle down in, and you’ve never settled down. You still know more than most, however.” A smile crossed her lips. “Besides, you wouldn’t have had any obligations anyway. If I was your mother, then that would be a different story.”
“Inova, I just… I thought you were trying to fatten me up-”
“I was also doing that. Yes.” She nodded.
“It was good for me as well. There were many pieces of flesh that were supposedly not fit for putting weight on you.” Bast yawned, stopping for a moment before she made herself dizzy. “There are visitors coming, by the way. I figured I would let you know this time.”
I looked at her. Stella looked at her. I spoke as such, “Thanks for the heads up. Did you know the Ponies, Jackie and Mortimer, were coming?”
“Yes. I was hungry, it was likely that I was going to get to eat them. Win-win situation, would you not agree?”
Stella nodded. “Quite beneficial. I was wondering why you distanced yourself from us before they arrived.”
“Ambushed,” I murmured, shaking my head. “... What’s done is done. If we can talk to these ones we will. We’re not killing anyone we don’t have to anymore.”
Bast grumbled about having to keep hunting and bitched about that while Stella said, “Ah, you still find it distasteful. I understand, Gatian. I truly do.”
‘
“Right. What enchantments did you put on the pick?”
She smiled, happy to get a chance to explain some of her Choresh-style Terru while I was just glad to get to something less… Achingly cold, is a good couple of words for it. “Well, with the blessings of the Allfather-” Stella caught my ever-patient smile. “The Allfather exists!”
“But not the Allmother?”
“Shush! With the blessings of the Allfather I was able to place an enchantment of ‘Delicacy’ on it. That pick won’t even scratch a piece of chalk!”
I raised both brows. “Really? I can’t wait to give it a shot then! I’ve got a new song I’ve been waiting to play for you anyway.”
“No song for me?” Bast jested.
“The last one was for you.” I chuckled.
“The Lion’s Roar?”
“Yeah, it needs you or another big cat in the beginning to sound right.”
Bast breathed out a few amused breaths. “I swear, spending any time at all with you Humans is enough to dull one’s fangs.”
“At least it sharpens your wit,” Stella chimed in.
“Only when dealing with other females.” Bast inclined hear head.
“I’ll slap both of you on the butt, I swear,” I sighed. They really had been riding my ass for being a man for a while and there was no sign of the teasing letting up.
Upon the end of that conversation, I took us back to our house that was actually in the middle of our street that also had a few wilderness-sourced treats to eat. Speaking of food and eating, we did that first and then I started on getting my new song together in my head. I’d formed different parts of it during different periods of thirty days, which was around the time I started to realize I had no idea how long a month in Septural actually was. Stella eventually told me that one month was sixty-four days, give or take a couple special months, and that her birthday was coming soon. I asked what she wanted and all she said was that she wanted something specifically made for her, so I made Part One: SuperNova part one of her birthday gift. A lot of it was just melody that there aren’t lines on these pages for, but I can still transcribe the lyrics and teach them to Stella, right?
Here goes nothing; first full recording of everything in Sup- Oh. Hol’ up fam-o. Shit just got palpable.
Nova Part One: SuperNova by Gatian Gauner
Verse 1
Sometimes I see
A world inside of me
A world inside of you
A heart just broke in two
I know I have half
And you have other
Watch out pretty sister
Here comes a daring brother
Chorus 1
Every-day
Walking next to you
Eyes up to the sky
A star will shine for you
The moons will rise for two
Bridge
Verse 2
Sometimes I see
A whole new thing or two
Another blessed marvel
That I can share with you
I know I want much more
I know you want it too
So come on you sexy thing!
Before our day is due!
Chorus 2
This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.
Every-day
Walking next to you
Eyes up to the sky
Moons will rise for you
The moons will rise for two
Bridge into Solo
Final Verse
Sometimes I see
Way up in the sky
Visions of you
Then I wonder why
Every-day
Walkin’ next to you
Wonder if we can
Wonder what we’ll do
Night’s Lit up by sun
Supernova hun
Baby I love you
Know you love me too
I taught Stella the lyrics to SuperNova and now’s for the part two that fell in place as I writing the fucking original one. I decided that UberNova was going to be the second part of who knew how many. My musical wiener wobbled even as I finished off the last verse, so let me hurry up and get UberNova done too.
UberNova: by Me, fool
When you make me wait, babe, I wait for you forever
Know I can’t escape, ay, as long as we’re together
Tell me what you want to see and I’ll make your wishes true
‘Cause baby you done blinded me just doin’ what you do
Watch her strut, watch her talk, fuckin’ watch my woman dominate
Might be a man before me, but I swear I’m finna steal the plate
When she bat them lashes she knock my heart up out my chest
Goddammit baby, don’t you know you’re makin’ me a wreck?
I said, I said, I can make your every dream come true
Never knew a freer soul until I done met you
Can’t sit and lie I think about what would happen if you left
Talkin’, talkin’, talkin’, bout to make myself go deaf
I ain’t felt this way so long it’s been since I saw this
Can’t take my eyes up off you or something I swear I’ll miss
Every second with you makes me think my next step once or twice
‘Cause you keep me warm at night when my heart straight cold as polar ice
The stars that swim around you never shine half bright as you do
Don’t know what it truly is that draws my dumbass to you
But that look inside your eye just makes me warm and fuzzies melt
Sounds like some pussy bullshit, but you already knew how I felt
… So… Booksy. I have two songs in your pages and I’m thinking of dropping a third… Nah, I’ll wait til tomorrow. Still, it was good talking to you again. I forgot just how clear my head felt after writing… I guess I’ll have to-[Bard.]- okay, you guys. Seriously. Six months of nothing and you just take over my damn hand?
[Our escorts approach. Do not attack.]
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Any reason you couldn’t have gotten here three months ago?
[... You are very lucky to be where you are, Bard. Very lucky indeed.]
That’s not ominous.
[... While you are a musician, sarcasm is not needed for this conversation. These are grave times, Bard Gauner.]
What’s that mean, then?
[The Char Army and the Scorched grow larger every day. Ponydale has fallen.]
… Christ…
[Christ? A River God?]
Kinda, not important. What the hell happened to Ponydale!? What about Hooversdum!?
[Hooversdum was abandoned. You started your career there, yes?]
Yeah… Started a lot of stuff.
[A shame, but not an uncommon story in this day. Our escorts will come for you, but know that this journey will not be simple.]
See, now you’re being cryptic and I’m kinda in shock about my friends and fuck-buddies possibly dying, so-
[Fuck… Buddies?]
People I stick my cock in from time to time that let me do it because it feels good for them too.
[... Accursed whore-bred Bards!]
I have a girlfriend now, thank you.
[You’ve also been in a long abandoned town for months.]
Fuck off and get your people here. When should we expect them?
[They are but an hour away. It would do you well to prepare.]
Guess it’s a good thing we stay travel-ready, I suppose. Any words of advice for your escorts?
[Do not tell them you are betrothed to your Partner.]
… Why not?
[Because one will likely be quite annoyed…]
STOP BEING CRYPTIC!!!
[IS THAT HOW YOU EMPHASIZE YOUR WORDS?]
Fuck. Off. Already.
[I asked a very fair question.]
[I eat butts and drink white pee]
[You Bards are such children.]
And yet you want me to write you a song.
[We could always leave you.]
That would be incredibly petty. I’m gonna get ready.
[... Gatian. If I may call you that, I mean.]
Yeah? You can call me by my name, it’s not like I’ll get mad or anything.
[Hm… I was under the assumption that you had taken a pseudonym and would’ve preferred that.]
Gatian’s as close to a pseudonym as I need. I mean, yeah, it’s still technically my name, but the one I was born with and was known by on the other side of the River was Gage.
[Truly? You were named as a tool for measurement?]
Ha-ha. No, there are a lot of translations for ‘Gage’. In some Choresh it can be interpreted as ‘Oath’ like in French, but then the Chorets also have another translation for it I can’t recall. As far as I know, my Dad picked it because of my adopted uncle’s Frenchery.
[What translation do you use?]
What do you mean?
[What does ‘Gage’ mean to you?]
I dunno. Promise or something, I guess. I’m good at doing what I say I will.
[... Would you like to know what Gage means in Tsukan?]
Tsuka, right? Isn’t that one of the provinces of Teh Se Bang?
[Yes to both. It is my homeland.]
Is that where I’m going?
[No, you are not. Would you care to know what your name means to me?]
Yeah, what’s it mean?
[Defiant One.]
… Are you [No.] going- fuckin’ don’t do that m’kay?
[I very much look forward to meeting you in person, Gatian.]
Before you go, what do I call you when I meet you?
…
…
Bitch hung up on me. Damn.
☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽
It didn’t take long for me to get everybody caught up on what was going on and why we had to finish getting our shit together an hour earlier than we usually practiced. That being said, even Bast had a saddlebag to carry on her back when we left the place we’d called home for half a year or so. Half an Earth year. Whatever. Stella explained that we’d only been there for a few weeks over a month and that hurt my feelings since it meant that my time scale was way off. There were plenty of other things for me to think about, however, like how to get my Gauss Rifle up and frigging working, which I had about forty-five minutes to do. There was a lot that could have gone wrong while I was tuning it, but after finding the thing in someone’s shop and repurposing it for my own uses? Hell, the thing was just supposed to be a glorified nail gun, but I turned my little doohickey into one of Septural’s first true semi-automatic weapons since most were lever-actions or revolver-based. It didn’t have the same punch as Clockly, or really even half of the killing potential, but for some reason the effective distance of the ‘rounds’ I’d modified it to shoot was a pretty good margin better than the pistol. Stella didn’t know anything about ballistics, but Bast, surprisingly enough, told me that my ‘rounds’ went further because they were lighter than my lead ones, though that made no sense.
Then I got lectured by a fucking cat.
As I was touching up Wallace the Gauss Rifle Bast took the time to explain something that I’d never noticed and never would have anyway. She told me that Septural had a stronger magnetic field than Earth, which how she even knew she wouldn’t tell me. The damn Molly mentioned that there had been a really smart River Person she’d spent a lot of time with for some reason or other, but then went onto explain more cool things, like the fact that a bullet with the same amount of powder would travel about one-point-three times as fart on Septural than it would on Earth. Why exactly wasn’t explained to me in full because my brain was doing the dumb, but she also pointed out that I had been trained to shoot shit. I still practiced Grata-non-Aquix and with Wally, I usually went through the forms that I could remember of Gratana-nuva-Longinus whenever I gotten terribly bored. Point being that along with the ambient Terru in the air, the planet’s magnetism needed to be accounted for through a form of Arca that was almost solely based on movements, poses, and gestures, though no one in the present day had known of the ‘Demon Dances’ until Bast had told them, and even then the knowledge was never widely spread. The reason being that, and this is from an ancient cat God-thing herself, if someone had every type of weapon made available to them and knew the correct forms, they could potentially be unstoppable until they ran out of stamina. When Luce had been teaching me he made something very clear; If there ever comes a time where you master the forms, then you probably won’t have to worry about getting hit any time soon.
After that fun little history lesson, I nodded along and said, “Damn. To think that I’ve been using Terru basically since I started training in general…”
Stella cut me a mild look. “We did not dance.”
Bast yawned. “You are not trained in one of the Dances. You wield a blade. Your skills are of a different mold.”
“I wield a bow as well!” My precious Partner protested petulantly.
“Does your bow-”
“It has a metal string!”
“-have a trigger?”
“My own fingers!”
“The Grantonid has nothing to do with loosing an arrow. Your kind has no hope of ever grasping the concept, so do not hope to understand,” Bast drawled, all too amused.
I furrowed my brow. “Come to think of it, I think Luce said that Grata-non-Aquix was heretical to some Choresh beliefs. Something along the lines of ‘sinful sways will fill your days, so move with purpose, always focus.’ or something like that, right?”
Stella blushed. “... Some sways are okay…”
I raised a brow at her. “Inova, why the hell do you still defend a religion that did awful things to you? It doesn’t make sense.”
“... Why did you forgive me?” She asked softly.
“Hm. I would say it is because you look delicious. If not a mate, then a meal.” Bast nodded sagaciously.
I pointed at her. “She’s got a great point.” At Inova’s look, I rolled my eyes and looked back to her. “What part of ‘I keep my promises’ did you miss? I made you a promise. I kept it. You gave me a reason to forgive you. I forgave you. Now I touch your butt when you’re not expecting it.”
I got a mild blush for my words, but she didn’t really change her expression. “... Even after I hurt you and accused you of such awful things?”
“You left because you were scared and your fears weren’t unwarranted. I have the power to make you do whatever I say. You saw factors and mannerisms in me that made you think you might have been under attack. You fled for your own safety. We’ve been over this.”
“But I was wrong-”
“And I’m not. Your Church drew blood on you. Painted a trail of your footsteps behind you wherever you walked. Scarred you for life… Because you were scared and were just a little too late in fixing your mistake. How is that fair, Inova? If I were to run into a siren and knew what it was, I would waste no time in going the way I came. Point-blank. Did the Church of Chorell even ask you why you ran?”
“I was under oath, Alvage! I swore an oath that the blood I spilled would be for your glory! I swore an oath to protect you from yourself and others! Gatian… I swore to be the best Partner a hurt soul could ask for and I pushed you away… I…” Her face, crestfallen as it was, seemed to etch further with the ache of a result she couldn't alter. “... The moment I even said ‘Devil’... I was already breaking a law. The first step I took away from you without your approval broke another. Eating food meant for you. Making you cry. Failing to teach you properly. Needing you to save me…” She brushed her thumbs across her eyes, smearing moisture across her cheeks. “They removed the… mark. As per your request in reward for defeating my main tormentor, they relieved me of my duties…”
“So you’re well and truly free and your dumbass decided to leg it with the crazy, half-drunk bard? I fail to see your logic, but I love to see you smile.”
And smile she did, though it was barely a hint of one. “... You must think me a fool…”
“... Inova, if I asked you a question, would you as someone who doesn't have to lie tell me the truth?”
“I owe you as much.”
“... What do you really even see in me?”
“Save it.” Bast grunted.
“Hey, you agreed to crap like this four months ago.” I pointed out pointedly.
The big blue pussy glared at me. “If I have to hear another word about how googly your eyes are for each other, I’m going to claw them out of your skulls.”
Stella sighed. “Leave it to Bast-turd to ruin another golden opportunity for romance.”
Bast looked at her. “Don’t play with him so much, he’ll be as bad as a kit.”
My supposedly loyal girlfriend smiled. “What? You’re saying he isn’t already?”
The steady thrum of Bast’s ‘laugh’, which was honestly just an especially loud purr, made my bones feel funny as always. “If you two are quite done, I think I’m gonna go empty the reserves.” I could have sworn I heard someone groan, but it sounded like it was just on the wind.
“Don’t go in my territory.” Bast reminded.
“I’ll pee on you, cat.”
“I am not your territory.”
“Don’t pee on me either.” Inova gave me a womanly look. Like, you know that look your girlfriend gives you when you say something really dumb on purpose and she actually thinks you’ve gone full, unabashed Idiocracy? ‘Why do plants like electrolytes/Because it’s what plants love!’ and everything. It kinda hurt my feelings. “Okay…”
“Don't sound disappointed!” Alarm crossed her face.
“Am I not allowed to feel my feelings in this society?” I started wandering off to find somewhere to have a break.
“Please tell me-”
“That’s not what the feelings are about, you nut.”
It didn’t take me very long to get out of sight and find a nice, quiet place to drain the tank while I thought of assisting things, like rushing rivers, white water rapids, and cacti. Boy do I love me a cactus. Sure do, Booksy. After I finished up and started wondering where the hell our escort was, I did not go very far before I came face to face with some fair haired guy that was a little shorter than me. There was also a familiar gray Mare that was as tall as a Pegasus, despite being a Unicorn. Sootina stared at me, I stared at her, and together we ignored her friend.
“... You… You survived…” I said numbly.
Sootina smiled widely, the time between having done her some good. “Well, I’ll be damned! If it isn’t Gatling Gatian in the flesh and blood!”
“Holy fucking shit! Sooty!” I cheered, elated to see my friend and ally once more. By the look on her face, she was happy to see me as well. A hug was on the itinerary, but an explanation was needed first. “What the hell are you doing here!? How did you get out of Hooversdum!? Is- well, you know what? Can I get a hug first?”
She beamed and gave me my hug. “When the Scorched and the Char Army came through Hooversdum we had plenty of time to evacuate, but we did fight until the day was done for the most part. The Gerritt Guild is gone, but Max and Gloss are both safe in Thesuvia seeking refuge with Max’s family and the Guild there.”
“I’m so glad you got out!” I held her at length and smiled at her some more. “Hot damn… I never thought I’d see you again.”
She raised a brow. “How do you think Auntie Sooty felt when you up and dove into the heart of the madness? There was no telling where you went or what happened to you!”
“You weren’t as scared for me as I was. Not by half.” I nodded repeatedly.
“That’s probably fair, but still!” She gave me a certain look.
It reminded me of bedtimes and cool sheets, sometimes with cuffs, sometimes not. “So… Speaking of fair, are you with the Songweavers or something?”
“I was always one of them.” Sootina offered up an apologetic smile. “I was the one that technically got you started on the path, so they found it fitting to be the one to help you continue it.”
“... Sootina,” I looked at her partner. “My music isn’t really… normal, you know? I think… Well, I’ll play whatever I come up with for you, but-”
“Wait, when’s the last time you wrote a song?” She asked worriedly.
“Well, I just wrote two not too long ago, but you know how those things go. They were meant to be for Stellara, and the one before those was for Bast.”
Sootina stared. “Would… Gatian, do you mean your ex-Partner Stellara when you say that?”
I blushed and looked down. “... She came looking for me…”
“... Then I suppose I can leave it at that.” The look of disappointment on her face was evident while her Human Partner raised a brow.
The other guy shrugged. “You like it, you should have tied him down.” Can your Russian drawl get any thicker, my guy?
Sootina passed him a shitty look. “I’ll geld you, Rasputin.”
‘Rasputin’ shrugged again. “Wouldn’t be the first time, but it would be the worst time. Da, for certain.”
“Wait, by Ra-Ra-Rasputin do you mean the lover of the Russian Queen?” I asked uneasily.
“... Ra-Ra-What?” Sootina giggled her ass off while Ras looked amused himself.
“It’s a part of a song that basically says that Rasputin was a badass.”
His eyes shot open. “I was no baeddel!”
“No, not what you said; bad-ass. Like, someone really tough, cool, and generally awe-inspiring.”
“Oh… That is much better.”
“What was that thing you thought I meant anyway?”
“A hermaphrodite of sorts in some terribly mundane language.” He snorted. “I may have been gelded after laying my Tzarina, but it was well worth it for the bragging rights.”
“Debatable, but you do you man.” I nodded toward him and looked back to Sootina. “So, would you like to meet the rest of my party, or…?”
“We only really came for you.” Sootina said dryly. “Even then we didn’t know it was you. We just knew that you didn’t like being called a Minstrel and decided to be a Bard.”
The amusement on her face was a little insulting. “It’s perfectly fine to be a Bard!”
“If you’re a sexual-deviant murder-gypsy, perhaps,” Rasputin said loftily. “However, Minstrels don’t go around using powerful Song Arcas to ah… [Something in Russian, I dunno.] people.”
Sootina looked a lot less amused and turned to me. “Ah, yeah. Would you like to explain why there was a report of a musician taking down a Champion of the Church of Chorell with nothing but a grating song?”
I averted my gaze from her harsh judgement, Gage showing his face after a long time of being asleep. Then Gatian shoved him out of the way and made me meet Sootina’s eyes with a firm gaze of my own. “Sootina, I swore to protect Stellara Inova and eventually set her and every other Partner free. She needed my help, so I made sure she would walk away as an unbound woman from that moment forward. It may have cost me my Partner and a man his life, but it saved Stella and she’s as free as a person without her past. She doesn’t owe anyone anything other than what she thinks she owes people, and that’s how it should be. Yeah, I used my music to hurt someone, but I used it to free a slave that had no business being someone’s property in the first place, and there’s nothing in my entire life that I stand by more than that.”
My kinky long-lost, presumed-dead friend looked at me passively. “So… You would risk your life and your very music for someone that abandoned you in the first place, broke your heart, and lead you to…? What? An abandoned town in the middle of nowhere?”
I looked her dead in the eye and said, “I’ve been scared too, Sootina. I iunderstand that fear made me do a lot of dumb, dumb things. Made me take pain I shouldn’t have. Wasted money I should’ve saved. Lost time I could’ve spent better doing nothing. Stella’s smarter than me, because when she was scared, she ran and hoped for something better than what she had. When she realized she didn’t have too much of a reason to be scared, she came back and wanted to make things right, just too little too late. I know that feeling too. What you don’t understand is that I’ve been close to where Stella put herself, and I made the mistake of going back to something bad for me. If I’d proven to her before that it was a good thing, then this never would have happened. I evidently showed her enough to make her come back, and it wasn’t because I abused her into thinking she needed me.”
“If she had never left you, then things would have been just fine all the same.” Sootina drawled. “You do realize that she already had her ‘better’? She-”
“Was being a goddamn person!” I snapped. “It’s Human to want more! To seek a better and better normal! It’s fucking Human to want the best possible life you can get! You know fuckin’ what!? In America, there used to be slaves before a large enough group of people decided to wage war and start killing people that owned slaves! And you know what!?” At this point, I’m sure my face was bright red. “I’m half American-slave! Half of my lineage comes from slaves! So fuckin’ yeah, I understand the desire to escape and be free! It was beaten into my brow by my mother and her family for years as I watched the bullshit she had to put up with along with my uncles, cousins, and aunts. My entire family has stories of legitimate persecution You know what for? Just being the descendants of slaves. Just for being different. Just for what they were and what they were largely presented as. It didn’t matter if the individual was gilded in gold from the bones to the butthole, ain’t no nigga goin’ nowhere without blood, sweat, and fear.”
Sootina looked a little taken aback. “... I didn’t know River People still used slaves. Rasputin is quite old…”
“It’s been hundreds of years and the hate’s still there.”
“Oh…”
“Yeah, I might not have been a slave, but people still didn’t like me for what I was. Didn’t understand that it didn’t have that much to do with who I was or who my family were. People see what they want to see when they look at someone else’s plate, Sootina.”
“Jew.” Rasputin scoffed.
“Didn’t like, a hundred different people hate you enough to kill you before the internet?” I asked irritably.
“I know what that is but I fail to see the.. Ah, the significance in this conversation.”
“The internet made every person with access to it a target. You didn’t even need a target to get shot at.”
Sooty sighed. “Gatian, stop being mean.”
“You started it! Fuck, he coulda shut the hell up!”
“And now I’m finishing it. Let’s go grab your companions and I’ll withhold judgement on Stellara Inova until I meet her.”
I nodded. “There’s also a giant cat named Bastet or something like that. We call her Bast.”
Sootina rolled her eyes. “If you have a Companion it’s probably not all that big.”
Smiling I said, “We’re gonna have a fun time.”
I stopped smiling on the short walk back to my Companion and Partner, but when
Sootina laid eyes on Bast, her jaw dropped and I could almost swear that I could see her pupils turn to hearts in the low lights of the waning moons. Stella and Bast stepped forward when we arrived, but when I smiled and waved all was well. I introduced everyone and told my newly formed group that we needed to get a move on before I died of old age and that got a few laughs, so we got moving before daybreak and ended up setting camp up during noon the next day. With our destination in mind, I can’t help but feel like I’m walking into a trap or that my music isn’t going to be good enough, but… I don’t know, Booksy. I’m not used to feeling this nervous, I guess. It’s not like me to get the jitters over the next leg of the journey, but I guess I’m just going to miss my temporary home. Living there wasn’t very easy by any means, but it had been a life and I was happy to live it when I wasn’t worrying about something… Everything just feels off... Maybe I’m just imagining it...
Oh well. Back to the grind, right, Je’ Amournal?