So-So
“So, uh… How many people come through the river?” I asked tentatively, the sun finally starting to sink while Valen led me to town.
“Oh, plenty people come from the river, but few people not deaf after. The town full of people like you!” She turned and gave me a bright smile, the vivid light of the sunset cutting through the trees, seemingly setting her hair ablaze.
I couldn’t stop my heart from throbbing; I’d always been a hopeless romantic. “Uh… Yeah, right. Hey Val-”
“You are a very friendly man, Gatian Gage. Very kind with your word. Words. Wors?”
“Words, but yeah. I try to be nice to people in general.”
She smiled back at me again. “Be careful with words from now, okay Gatian Gage? You kind, but people at whole not kind.”
“Really?”
“Kidding!” Valen giggled. “We day people very pleasant in sun, but we sleep good at moon. When moon, we sad and not nice. When moon people go in sun, they schmucks, but they better in moon.”
“Ah, I have a feeling I’m gonna be a moon guy, honestly.”
“Aww, why you say that!? No, be moon man please!”
“Well, I’m pretty nocturnal- er, I’m more awake when the moon is up.”
She pouted and hunched her shoulders, slowing down a bit. “First River-Man in many daytimes and he Moon Man. Why sad times come now?”
“Hey, Val, don’t get down on yourself. I’m sure we’ll see each other some time.”
“Are you sure about that?”
Her tone was so sorrowful I was almost willing to start groveling, but something hurt inside that made me stop. “... Are you trying to guilt me?”
Valen looked back, frustrated. “Well, [I want a friend]. I don’t know how say that in Common, but you know the words, yes?”
“... I know, but... “
Alarm crossed her face. “No! Gatian Gage, I not mean you must stay! I just wish you stay!”
I gave her a mild smile. “I don’t make many friends either, to be honest with you.”
“... Maybe we friends from length? Friends when meet again?”
I caught up a bit to lay a hand on her shoulder. “Shoot, Val, you already saved my sorry butt from drowning in mud. I already consider you a friend whether you’re near me or not.”
Valen stopped and spun around, giving me a big, warm hug. She laid her head on my shoulder and the familiar ache started up again; the loneliness and longing for companionship. “You are good man, Gatian. You will be good man for this world.”
“Thank you, Valen. I… I honestly appreciate that.” I hugged her back, trying not to let my thoughts get away from me.
She let go and patted my somewhat doughy chest. “We go now, friend. If we not stop by supply place before night, I have to leave and go back to river.”
“Then let’s get going, yeah?” I gave her a smile I could put my heart behind, aching as it was.
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t exactly desperate for love, but I’d been without Rachel for a couple weeks at that point and dating was never my thing. If it weren’t for Rachel, I’d never have had sex in the first place, and if she didn’t want it, we didn’t have it. I wanted Valen as a casual hook-up, but my inner rational guy told my penis to lie down and stop trying to talk for me. I valued my friends where I could make them and I recognized that I was in no way ready for a relationship, but all the same I still clung to the first person who was nice to me like I always had. It was a little more understandable since I was stranded on a strange world with strange people and no idea what was what, but I still found it pathetic that I clung to my lifeline so fiercely without even really knowing her. I’d always idolized the Gary Stu’s in stories that everyone liked and no one could beat, but there was no way in hell that ‘Gum Gum Gauner’ was going to climb the social ladder like that.
I started sucking on my teeth as Valen and I fell silent, the mood ruined for me on our walk. It took me quite a while to notice (Or to even think of it), but my teeth felt a lot more ‘in place’ than they usually did. Chomping down a couple times and grinding them taught me something interesting; I had all my natural teeth back and they were in perfect condition, minus a cavity on one of my canines. It was an odd thing to be sure, but I couldn’t really complain since it meant I didn’t have to use pine sap or some shit to make my dentures stay in place. After that I took stock of the rest of my body and found that I was mostly okay and that even my aches from earlier were being worked out. I couldn’t feel the tendonitis in my knees or the arthritis in my fingers. There was also no noticeable pain in my back or neck, which had plagued me for a decade or so prior. I was in ship-shape for some odd reason that I attributed to the guy I’m calling The Brit. He must’ve taken a real shine to me if he’d cleared me of so many medical maladies, leaving me more than just grateful for his kindness. It’s always been my thing to pay someone pack as soon as possible and with more than what they gave me, but having a second chance at life kinda topped all of that. Maybe I’d make the guy a sweater?
After sharing my revelations and good news with Valen, she let me know that she was going to have to leave me at the supply depot and trade places with Kaish soon enough. It wasn’t an attractive prospect, but I understood that being on the killing floor for so long tends to turn people into worse Humans than they were before. Once we got to the depot and I managed to get a good look at it I was sure and certain that whoever had built the bunker-looking place was completely and utterly out of their minds. The walls bowed outward as if they were about to collapse at any moment, seemingly made of some kind of woody-plastic material. There seemed to be grain in the siding, but it also had a plastic-like sheen to it that told me that I wasn’t looking at something from a tree. The windows in the place were also curved to fit the walls, and the roof on top of the structure was something else entirely. I liked architecture well enough to be into some of the crazier things that people came up with, but I could never get drunk enough to actually understand how the building was still held up, four walls be damned. Even as I examined the moss and lichens covering the lower parts of the wall, I had no idea what to expect from that point forward. Anything I’d previously thought of was seven seas away in a dinghy under the water near the bottom of an ocean.
Valen led the way inside with a spring to her step and a bounce to a certain part of her anatomy that I scolded myself for looking at on a friend. My thoughts were trailing further and further off the road I wanted them on and seemed to be playing in the dirty, leaf-ridden gutters that they had no business being in. Between Kaish and Valen, I was in a small amount of discomfort that I hid well, as far as I knew. Val didn’t seem to notice any of the times I snuck a glance against my better judgement while she was rifling through bins and cabinets to put together a proper pack for me. Food, a knife, a shortbow, and a few other camping/hunting essentials went into the bag, but then Val stopped out of nowhere and caught me looking at her bottom while she was bent over. The look on her face worried me more than it probably should have, but considering that I was alone in the forest with a woman that had a sword and killed people in the moonlight? Er, at night? Well, maybe my concern was warranted. I was soon to find out since Valen caught me again and actually turned all the way around to look at me.
“Gatian, why you look at me and no look for supply?”
I wasn’t expecting to get off the hook that easily, but I was still on the spot. “... Because I don’t know what I’m looking for? Or how to use half of the stuff your putting in the bag.”
She narrowed her eyes and glanced down, making me glad I’d adjusted myself earlier. “... Sad people get second chance. Some sad people not think about what second chance means.”
I looked down and regretted thinking that the particular avenue I’d had in mind was clear. A step was taken in a backwards direction while my hands covered my privates. “Um... “
Valen eased up. “Keep eyes in friend places, not lover places.”
“Sorry…”
She nodded. “All good, Gatian Gage. Valen was attacked before by River-Woman. She take Valen by surprise. Valen not get surprised again.”
“Hey,” I said, a little offended, “I’m not going to do anything to you I wouldn’t want done to me. I’m sure you have lady parts down there and I don’t, so I can’t do to you what I would want done to me because you don’t have the stuff for it.”
That shocked her a little. “You like men?”
“... And women?”
Valen’s jaw dropped. “Greedy man! You greedy man!”
“Gr-Greedy?” I stammered, worried again.
She marched over to me and jammed a finger in my chest. “You not [have sex with] man! You man! You pick now and stick!”
Now that was something I couldn’t abide by. “Val, I think you’re overstepping-”
“No, you pick! Not be greedy man!”
I folded my arms and glared at her. “Well, what if I fall in love with a man?”
She threw her arms up. “How you baby-make with man!?”
“Clean the exit zone, duh.”
I wasn’t expecting to get slapped. I was also not expecting Valen to start outright beating me like I peed on her carpet. She didn’t hit hard, but she was obviously frustrated. “Bad Gatian! Bad, bad, bad! Stop think of men and think of girls!”
I shoved her off. “You act like I can just control who I want! It’s not a choice, you narrow-minded muff-cheese!”
Valen pointed another finger at me. “No man-love-man allowed in forest! You leave!”
“Wai- what!? Val, I thought we were friends!” My heart broke, but only a small piece fell off. To have made a friend and lost the same one in the same day, let alone because of something I couldn't help. “Friends don’t abandon each other over stuff like this!”
She shook her head, lip curling and everything. “You leave Valen’s forest. Gatian Gage not welcome here now.”
I couldn’t help the tears in my eyes, but I could stop them from falling. “Fine. Guess I’ll strike it out on my own.”
“You not by self. You carry Demon in you.”
That… Those words hurt more than being straight up rejected by my only friend because I was halfway gay. “... Good luck, Val.”
“Not call me Val.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
I got going since I never have seen the point in staying somewhere I wasn’t wanted. Yeah, the rejection burned after Valen had been so kind to me, but to a point I expected spite in some form from everyone I meet. When you mess up as much as I do, it’s not hard to see where they’re coming from, and when Valen turned me away? The River Man wanted to go back and ask for a little peace, but it’s not like I wanted to die. It just hurt inside and I hated feeling like that. It was such a common thing that I almost just shrugged it off, but something in my gut told me that I should take it to heart and learn from it. No, that didn’t mean that I suddenly thought being bisexual was wrong or some crap like that. It just meant that I was going to hide it from anyone I came across. I mean, I preferred girls anyway since most of them tend to live up to the whole ‘fairer sex’ thing, but that didn’t mean that I was on the look out for a new squeeze, main or not. I’d done a lot better with Rachel in my life, but thinking of her made my heart hurt as I walked and I doubted even further whether or not I needed a new gal so soon.
While I was heading in the same general direction Valen been taking me, I was lost in thought, doing more reflection than I’d done in the past ten years in the past twenty-four hours to help myself get a grip on my emotional state. I basically surmised that I was aching for love, desperate for companionship, and otherwise just a sad, lonely little fuckball. It didn’t help that I probably still counted as a walking doormat. That wasn’t my proudest moment, but the more I thought about the life I had lived before, the more I thought about the life I could live now. Sure, Gage Gauner was a timid guy with a taste for both sexes and a tendency to mess everything up, but what if Gatian stepped up to the plate and started putting his best foot forward? Where Gage would have cowered at Valen’s cruel turn, Gatian would swear at her and make her feel bad! Maybe even throw a punch or two! It was invigorating to get myself under control and see a change that I needed to make. Being a meaner guy might actually get me somewhere instead of being a nice, chubby rug like I usually was, so I dropped Gage where he stood and invited Gatian to the party. Gatian Gauner. Gatian. How’d that sound, Booksy? Kinda feels right, doesn’t it?
In any case, Gatian Gauner finally managed to get his head out of his butt as well as out of the funk he was in. At least temporarily. It wasn’t even that I had a hard time getting out since there was just too much for me to be excited about, like my art and skill. Apparently, two moons with light to see by hung overhead that I didn’t notice until I caught a break in the canopy. I just walked as slow as molasses and took my sweet time in the forest, enjoying the sights, sounds, and smells. For a place that seemed awfully similar to Earth, in the nightly light I could see that even the leaves of the trees looked odd. For the meantime, I was stuck in a place with a lot of trees, many pieces of deadfall, and plenty of animal noises to break the forest crunk. Speaking of, that song was playing through my mind after I likened the sounds of my new environment to a trippy Aes-type beat and it was pretty fitting. There was also a big, dark-furred creature that roared at me when I was pretty sure that I could see the edge of the forest. It gave me plenty of impetus to run so I made better time than I could have, all things considered. I don’t know exactly how long I spent in the woods before I started running or after for that matter, but I do know that I ran friggin’ fast. For all the time I wasted or saved, it’s not like any of it really mattered. There was sunlight by the time I got to the outskirts of town without much to my name other than chapped legs and chafed buttcheeks, though I have to say that the exhaustion was a pretty good part of it. I still held my head high up until I picked a cobblestone wall and let the smooth rocks on the side massage my back as I slid down. For once in my life I actually enjoyed blacking out because it didn’t feel like I was suffocating so much as just falling asleep in a noticible way.
Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
When I woke up, I wasn’t against a wall. Nope, I was on a bed made of cloth and some kind of stuffing in a room with electricity. At least, I thought that was what was making the light shine. Upon cloiser inspection, the thing actually appeared to be floating a little bit away from the wall, it’s pale blue glow illuminating the room I was in. The place had some nice windows that also let in light, but what I could see told me that I’d slept a lot longer than I’d intended. The rest of the room was vaguely reminiscent of a hospital/hospice room in the way that there were screen-like devices on wheeled rods that changed slightly every few seconds. I could make out a heart-beat monitor that used slightly rounded lines, but I couldn’t read it beyond the usual numbers. Even then they still looked different, like someone with a heavy shake to their hand had written them quickly to try and keep them as neat as possible. The longer I stared at the monitor, the clearer the simple surprise became; it was in my own nearly illegible, mostly unintelligible handwriting.
I thought that was odd but it’s not like I had any reason to think that whatever planet I was on wasn’t magical. I mean, The Brit said it himself (Though why I remember him saying it, I don't know.) that I was going to get a superpower or something, so why wouldn’t the rest of the world have magic? It only made sense. Still, even the allure of possible magic in the world around me fell flat when no one came to check up on me. I examined the room, taking in the plain, cut-stone walls that were sparsely decorated with murals. Other than the windows and a few pretty, happy pictures, there wasn’t much going on where I found myself. Instead of staying in bed, I figured I’d get up and see if there was indoor plumbing in the weird world I’d ended up on. My luck finally gave me something to work with on the first go when I tried a door that lead me to a bathroom-looking place. The toilet was weirder than the Yankovich, but it was obviously a potty nonetheless. The copper monstrosity looked like it was either going to explode, burn my already aching cheeks, or be colder than a witch’s heart. My need to use the restroom overtook my fear of being blown up, scalded, and/or frozen, making me sit down and hope that I’d figured out the flushing thing well enough to get it right again. My business was completed in record time (Probably because I was scared of the john) and flushing had never been more… Well, frightening, but I’m not a pussy, I swear!
The toilet worked as it was probably intended and I took the time to close the back of my gown. The second I completed tying it back outside of the bathroom, the only other door in the room opened and a ginger guy walked through. His big belly, red cheeks, and bushy beard gave him the air of a lumberjack, but with his reflective tuxedo jacket and combat pants, I was a little less than sure about the fellow. I gave him a little wave and he pointed at me, nodded, and left. I tried to follow him only to find that the door was locked. There was a point where I considered climbing out of the window since I was on the first floor, but it’s not like I knew what was going on, and the people had assumedly helped me while I was down. It would’ve been rude to just up and bolt after they helped me out so I took a seat on the bed and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
There was a lot of waiting involved. The main thing I noticed was that I wasn’t getting hungry, thirsty, or tired, even as the daylight faded and the moonlight came to pass as well. By the time the next ginger came in, I was thoroughly bored and had used plenty of toilet paper. The lady was thin unlike the last fellow, and her cheeks actually held freckles instead of just being bright fucking red like a Pikachu’s. She was more of a Pichu in that regard, seeing as how she couldn’t have been over four-and-a-half feet tall or above a hundred and ten pounds. She was a waif of a woman At least I thought. Her sallow cheeks were a little unnerving.) and not my type in the slightest, even with her surprisingly full chest. I’d always been a thigh man anyway. The woman greeted me with a smile, a plastic-looking clipboard in her hand and a stylus in the other, her braided hair thrown over her shoulder. The locks went down to her navel at least, but her smile was definitely the main event. The gal’s smile lit up the room in the early morning, even more so than the sun and I found that to be charming like no other. Not alluring; charming. Gatian Gauner doesn’t fall for every girl who flashes him the pearly whites.
When she started to speak, I already had a feeling that her accent was going to be radically different from Valen’s and Kaish’s. I was not mistaken. “Why hello there! You were in quite the sorry state when they found ya out on the barn, don’tcha know?”
The soda was so mini. “... Yeah, pissed off my guide to the town.”
Don’t get me wrong; I’m generally not one to judge just on appearances and face value, but the Minnesotan accent? Killer. “Oh, why don’tcha think ya oughta be nicer ta folks who make peace? It’s only polite!”
I offered up a weak smile. “Yeah… So… Um…”
She smiled back knowingly. “You’re in Rusval, friend! Welcome to the home of everyone and no one! You’re welcome to stay as long as ya need!”
Nodding, I went to get up, but the lady quickly waved me back down. “Right. So… Where specifically am I?”
“Room eleven!”
“... Eleven. Mhm. What… Uh… Place? What place am I?”
“You’re an odd one, aren’tcha?”
“I swear it’s a part of the charm.” I blew out a little chuckle and shook my head, getting hit by the fact that I was alone all over again while the lady crossed the room. She took some notes from the monitor when I decided to ask, “Say, what’s your name?”
She spared me a glance. “Me? I’m Emilia with an ‘E’, don’tcha know? I’m your doctor.”
“I figured that much. Not your name, but the doctor part. It’s nice to meet you, Emilia with an ‘E’.”
My doctor grinned some more. “And you’re ‘Gat-ee-yin Gahn-er’?”
“Gay-shun Gow-ner, but yeah, that’s me. How do you do?”
Her brows furrowed. “That’s an odd phrase. Are you one of the River People?” I was about to say yes when her heart broke on her sleeve. “Oh you poor thing! I just knew you had to be one of the dead ones!”
I raised a brow. “Mmm, people on this planet sure are blunt.”
She blushed. “I-I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to… Well… I’m sorry in any case…”
I waved her worries aside. “Stating facts is fine, Doc. It’s not like you were trying to be mean.”
Emilia sighed. “It’s not that I was mean so much as dull-tongued. River People are so sensitive…”
That was funny. “I’m not.”
Her brows raised along with the clouds that had come in over her mood. “You mean you’re not pressing charges?”
Booksy, that woman literally said ‘pressing charges’. For being blunt. Or should I say insensitive? The latter works better. “... Are you saying I could have you arrested for being mean to me, or for laying out the facts in a way that was kinda cold?”
“... Well, it depends on the Judician, but yeah…” She started looking worried again, steepling her fingers.
“Emilia, I swear to you, I will never have anyone arrested just for being mean to me. That’s sooo petty I almost literally can’t even like a sixteen-year-old right now.”
She hugged me when I finished speaking. “Oh, you River People are so hit-or-miss, don’tcha know? Why, my sister works here and had one of ya just tease her to tears!”
I chuckled and patted her back, letting her hold onto me and pull away at the same time. The intimacy of the distance and the moment were both clearly lost on her. “You’re short.”
Doctor Shrimp blinked. “... Well, yeah. Most of us Sotans are.”
“Sotan?”
“Yep.” She pointed at her braid. “Red hair and red cheeks for the boyos, red hair and freckles for us gals. We’re pretty short and smart, but the Choret’s that guard the river make up for what we lack.”
“... Sotans and Chorets are races?”
“Mhmm! Your guide was probably a female Choret, right?”
“Yeah, regular daylight-devil.” I said bitterly.
Emilia let me go. “... Would you mind telling me what happened?”
“She thought I liked men or something and I took a joke a little too far.”
She frowned. “Well, homosexuality is pretty disgusting…”
I wanted to slap the bitch, but it just seemed to be the way the world worked here. “Right? I mean, I don’t see how women want men, but you all will do as you do.”
“Yup!” The Good Doctor patted my pecker presumptuously. “Just let the ladies handle the lumber business and you’ll be right as rain, don’tcha know?”
I really wanted to slap the bitch, but it wouldn’t serve me any good later on. “Say, how many of the River People turn out to be Homos?”
“Some, not all. They usually don’t make it past their guide, thankfully. Well, ‘least not in Gerritt. Which is where you are. Further north on the banks, those backdoor-demons get away with it, but not this far east.” Emilia smiled and shook her head, giving me a hug as she rubbed her head against my chest. I got nuzzled by a stranger. A homophobic stranger at that. “Say, you wouldn’t happen to be in the mood, would ya? We have some fine ladies that offer extra services to River Men.”
… I don’t even know how to really describe how I feel about prostitution, paid or unpaid. On one hand, people have to make a living, but on the other, it was unhealthy and a very unsafe practice. That being said, hospital-funded fun sounded nice, and I doubted I was going to get laid any other way. “I’m going to have to decline, sorry. I prefer to put in a little effort for that kind of thing.”
What? Maybe I prefer a little connection before coitus. Sue me.
“I like you. Say, did you get to pick a skill?”
I felt like I’d just woken up for a second. “... Huh, I did.”
“What’d ya pick? You River Folk are so lucky to get something you’re just automatically good at!”
“Um… I picked talking to people,” I said softly, my shyness batting me over the head like it did any time I actually had something to be proud of in the slightest. However, it’s not like I was proud of being able to pick any skill in the entire world and picking one of the most useless things available… Better than underwater basket-weaving, I guess.
Emilia leaned in and got on her tiptoes to bring her ear closer to my word-source. “Hmm? Ya gotta speak up, Mr. Gatian, even if ya picked somethin’ silly.”
My face felt hotter than a cast iron skillet on an open flame. “... I said… Talking to… Y’know…”
Her eyes lit up. “You can talk to animals!?”
I had to laugh at that, especially her reaction. “Well, not quite. I wanted the Gift of Gab.”
She stared at me like I’d said ‘I picked pink powers to prettify myself on command! Sparkles!’ or something of the sort. “... You… Just wanted to talk to people? Were you mute before?”
“... Now that I think about it, we haven’t had a real misunderstanding yet, nor have I with anyone else. I think it’s already working.” I grinned to myself.
“So you were just bad at talking?”
“Rather mush-mouthed.”
“... Wow. You can pick anything in the world and you pick the thing half the world doesn't want men to do.”
“... Is there-”
“River Folk call it sexism and misandry, but I just call it keepin’ the chaff from the wheat, don’tcha know?
“Well that sucks.”
“Ah, you’ll get used to it. It’s not like most of ya don’t get special treatment anyway.”
“Fair point, I guess. So why am I here again?”
“Because ya didn’t have a kit on ya and we thought ya were a lost adventurer. If we’d known ya were a River Man, we woulda sent’cha to the lodge, don’tcha know?”
“No, actually. You have a lodge for people like me?”
“Yup! Rusval’s pretty friendly to the River People. Go to Chorell or Thesuvia and you’re in for a different story, though. Well, if ya do stuff you’re not supposed ta, that is.”
“I’m guessing folks ‘round there hump each other’s butts and hate me?”
“Basically. Sure do catch on quick, dont’cha?”
“I try. So… What do most people in my situation do?”
“Nail one of the kind ladies who offer like a stubborn piece ‘a wood!” She beamed.
“If I ask you a question-”
“Aww, I can’t believe you’d go there!”
“I-I didn’t mean any offense!”
Emilia started tearing up, her violet eyes filling quickly. “H-How could you think that of me?”
I nearly froze. Gage would’ve frozen. Gatian? Gatian was Alpha enough to turn it around, so that’s what I tried to do. “What are you saying, Emilia? Do those women not deserve the same respect as any other? Aren’t they just trying to provide a certain kind of comfort?”
I wasn’t expecting her to just blink and give me a bland look. “You sure aren’t much for Avalesch flirting, are you?”
Dumbfounded wasn’t the word. “... You were flirting with me.” Was that even a question.
She tapped the monitor next to my bed. “This here says you’re a real good Silver Tongue, but you haven’t tried anything. I’ve just been trying to read you and I must say you are quite the pickle. Mister Pickle.”
Gage would apologize. Gatian would roll with it. “Are you asking for my pickle or are you messing with me? Because I honestly can’t figure it out.”
Emilia sighed. “You’re a sweet guy, Mister Pickle. Why’d you go and do something as awful as dying on purpose?”
“... Uh… I was heartbroken and soon to be destitute or something like that. I don’t really remember, nor do I care. It’s in the past.”
“... What do ya want out of this second chance, Gatian? What’s the plan.” She asked seriously, her tone reminding me of Dad’s when he asked why I wasn’t going to college. Or finishing high school.
It took a good few minutes to come up with an answer for that and in those minutes, I came up with a lot of viable, but incorrect assumptions. I’d assumed that I wanted to just be happy and maybe finish the life I’d already had, but there was something else in my center, something that had been aching at me at the smallest mention of home or what I’d lost. Wanderlust stroked my heartstrings and a need for adventure slapped me across both sets of cheeks for extra effect. It was the same thing that had driven me to ‘Frisco in the first place, and the thing that had carried me through the miles upon miles of trails in the Golden Gate Park. As I’d mentioned before, J-Man, I’d been around the world for various reasons, whether for vacation or to just waste some of my parents money (I was spoiled a little. At least I’m not a prick.), which equates to just sating the wanderlust I was feeling at the moment. From there, I built on my ideas and grew them into something more, something that I could see myself doing. Again, it took time for me to finally see whaT I really wanted to do beyond just ‘make the most of it’, which was something I had a feeling I should’ve done earlier. Still, I eventually came to my conclusion and was… Not happy. Happy’s the wrong word. Determined, I think. I felt determined to succeed this time.
“... I want to become the world’s objectively best musician. I want people to hear my songs and try for decades to reproduce what I make. I want to be the best there ever was, and I want to show everyone I can be just that.” I nodded a few times, looking down at my folded hands. “I don’t want to be who I was on Earth. I can’t be that guy anymore. I may not have been miserable, but I wasn’t happy living like I was. I think… I think it’s time to start busting balls for what I want. Take the opportunities in front of me instead of ask for them. I think it’s time that Gum Gum Gauner got a pair of fuckin’ nuts and started living life to the fullest.” I turned my gaze back to Emilia, seeing her lack of a smile. “I can’t live my life as the shy house-mouse I used to be. I need to get out and about and be the man I always could have been, even if that means a little extra blood in my sweat and tears. This has to be where I get my boots up, Emilia. It has to be.”
She nodded a couple of times, the mood turned somber. “Then I don’t think you’ll last too long here, Gatian.”
“... Why’s that?”
Emilia looked me dead in the eye and said, “The people of Avalesce are notoriously harsh music critics. If you make a bad song, it won’t just be tomatoes flying at’cha.”
“Tough tacos. I’m doing this.”
She cracked a smile at that. “I don’t know what a taco is, but I’m sure you have the toughest one.”
“I don’t have a taco, nor do you, technically. Anyway, is there any… um… Well, anything for me to get started on that?”
“Eeyup. There’s a River Folk center over in Luval and a bigger one in Tidrel, but that’s about it for the ones in Gerritt.”
“Is this a country or a state?”
“Gerritt is the second most racially diverse, second most religious, and the first and best metal-working province in Avalesce. Rusval, Luval, and Tidrel are all cities and towns here.”
“Ah, so can you tell me more about… Um…”
Emilia smiled, a certain gleam to her eye. “Well, if ya promise not to fall asleep as soon as you step out of the room, we’ll go over just about everything you need to know.”
“I have the funniest feeling that I won’t really have control over that.”
“You won’t. I’ll have to grab you a wheelie, but I really just needed to check and make sure that you weren’t a native. You’re obviously not a native.”
I tipped an imaginary hat to her. “Astute observation, malady.”
“Did you just call me an ailment?”
“‘Milady’ has a bad context on Earth,” I said truthfully, not quite lying.
“Ah, I see. Well, let me go grab you that wheelie and we’ll start talking when you wake up. How’s that sound, pumpkin?”
“Are you calling me pumpkin ‘cause I’m fat?” I asked, mocking irritation quite well by my standard.
The Doc looked like she was about to say yes before she caught herself. “I call every Human ‘round these parts pumpkin. Just like most Sotans, don’tcha know?”
“... You’re shitting me, right?”
“... Ah! I forgot you River People lived on a planet as the only sapient folk. Musta been real lonely.”
“Not with eight billion others, no.”
“... I’m… I’m- you said eight billion?”
“Yeah? How many people live on this planet?”
“... Avalon, Septural’s World Council, started doing census’ in eighty-eighty: nearly a hundred years ago. Even before the Decimative Wars that put for all intents and purposes half the world into the Dark Times during it and the rest after it was over, there were only around a billion people on Septural.”
“What about the non-human races? Were they counted too?”
Emilia looked like I’d asked her what her shoe size was in Chinese. “... Why would they be? You act like-” She paused. “How in the sweet name of buttered cobble-pops did I forget you were a River Man? I’d lose my head if it wasn’t screwed on sometimes!” She laughed like a person with half her intelligence and I suddenly got very worried about my general safety and the sanctity of my bottom.
“Right. So about my clothes-”
“Oh, when you get assigned a Companion, they’ll likely help you pick more native-friendly clothes. As for now it just so happens to be nap time, so…”
“Okay, we’re gonna start with a no and continue on to a ‘I need an adult’.”
“What kind of need?”
“Stop that!”
She frowned. “Not taking jokes too well are we?”
“I don’t know why I’m freaking out but I am and you’re not helpin-” Emilia slapped me. “That only works in stories!”
“Oh. It usually works anyway.”
I grabbed a pillow from the bed and started whacking her with it, practically batting the gal around while she giggled her head off. “Stop! Being! So! Casual!”
“Stop being so silly and I might!”
I threw the pillow back onto the bed and clutched my hair. It took me a few seconds to realize what was happening, but when I realized there was spit drying on my face fresh from the tongue of a ginger I wiped it off. “Did you just lick me?”
“Well, slapping you didn’t work and you River Folk are always so hung up on that mogonomy thing, so yes. You betcha. Woulda just given ya a peck to see if that worked, but you seem fine now.”
I pursed my lips. “Is it naptime now?”
“Let me grab that wheelie for ya.” Emilia gave me a final smile and a wink. I came to the conclusion that she was insane shortly after she left and bid myself a good day because there was simply no other option that made sense.
About ten minutes later, Emilia came in with yet another ginger and together they started wheeling me out of my room in the wheelchair they’d brought. I saw something that looked almost like a nurse’s station before everything started aching like I’d just gotten a good workout, my eyes steadily growing heavier as we went along.
Hm… I feel like I should include waking up to meet my ‘companion’ and my ‘partner’, but that can wait. How ya feelin’, Booksy? I think I’m getting the hang of this journaling thing, what do you say? Oh shit, right. Can’t say anything. Book. My bad, J-Man, but it was good talking to you. Maybe we’ll pick up later tonight?