The weekend went by pretty slowly, which was odd, because usually that sucker just flew by. Hiromasa and I hung out doing the usual stuff, playing games and watching TV. I even went over and helped him watch his sisters on Sunday so his mom could take a much needed break. You would think watching three rowdy little girls might make time go by a little faster, but it didn't really work as well as I'd hoped. At least I fell asleep a little bit faster on Sunday, which got me that much closer to Monday morning. Looking forward to school? What was wrong with me? I must have been going out of my mind.
When I got to class, I immediately focused on Saki's seat, which was stupid, because I knew she probably wasn't going to show up until it was nearly time for class to start.
"Morning," Hiromasa said, as I sat down.
"Hey," I said.
"Listen." Hiromasa leaned towards me. "I don't think I can get away with being out so late on a weekday. Is there any way we can get Saki to tone it down until the weekend?"
I laughed. "We can try, but I get the feeling she kind of goes at one speed."
"No kidding."
As I expected, Saki strolled into the classroom less than a minute before the final bell, and flopped down in her seat.
"Good morning," Hiromasa said.
She sighed. "If you say so."
"How did you possibly get the timing down to only get here seconds before the bell rings?" I asked.
"It's an art form," she replied, with a grin.
The bell rang and class started.
Just like last time, Saki went straight into doodling. Hiromasa was his usual attentive self. My attention ended up being kind of split. I copied the board down, but my gaze kept drifting towards Saki.
I watched her run her pen over the paper and realized I was smiling for no reason at all. Then, it hit me, as if someone had etched the word “obvious” into a brick and threw it at my stupid face. I was in love with her. When had that happened? That night we broke windows? The first day I saw her at school? Before that, when we were thirteen? I wasn't sure. The only thing I was sure about was that it was true. The fact was irrefutable now.
Unfortunately, this realization didn't really help me much. There wasn't anything I could do with this information. After all, Saki didn't believe in love. Leave it to me to fall for the only high school girl who didn't think romance was a thing. So then, one simple question remained: How do you start a relationship with someone who thought they were a waste of time?
When lunch period started, Hiromasa moved over to the seat in front of Saki, got out his bento box, and set it on her desk.
"Does your mom pack you lunch every day?" Saki asked.
"Usually." Hiromasa plucked the pickled plum out of his rice and stuck it in his mouth.
Saki, again, didn't have any food. This time I came prepared. I pulled out one egg sandwich and one with cheese and tomato.
"Pick one." I dangled the packages in front of Saki.
"Why?" she asked.
I shrugged. "They were on sale."
She scowled. "Do you intend to keep giving me food?"
"Probably," I said.
"Well, piss off. I don't need you to buy me things." She turned towards the window.
I sighed. "Listen. I can't eat if you don't eat."
"Why?" she asked, without turning back around.
I set the sandwiches on my desk. "Because I'd feel insanely guilty. Please pick one. You can't tell me you're not hungry."
"Way to make me feel like a dick," Hiromasa said.
"Your own guilty conscience is not my fault," I said.
She drummed her fingers on the table and sighed. "Fine. Egg." She held out her hand without looking at me.
I smiled and put the sandwich in her hand. "Thanks."
"Are you seriously thanking me for taking food from you?" She looked confused.
"Yep."
"You're weird." She shook her head and unwrapped the sandwich.
"Yep." I smiled.
I unwrapped my sandwich and took a bite. "So, what do you say to a normal activity today, Saki?"
"Sounds boring," she said. Half her sandwich was already gone.
"Thing is, some of the good kids have curfew times." I tilted my head and jabbed it towards Hiromasa.
"Wow," Hiromasa said in a monotonous voice. "Your support there was overwhelming. Thanks, Kaito."
I grinned. "You're welcome."
"No thanks." She inhaled the rest of her sandwich.
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"Come on," I said. "What sounds like more fun? Hanging out by yourself or hanging out with us?"
That question was a little bit of a gamble, but I was fairly certain I already knew the answer. I might not have been able to read her as well as she could read me, but I did know one thing; she was lonely. And if she was anything like me, she was getting really tired of it. I hadn't seen her hang out, or even speak to anyone else except that guy at the restaurant who didn't even know her name. At least I had Hiromasa. I was pretty sure she didn't have anyone.
She was quiet for a minute while she stared at me, tapping her finger on the desk.
"Fine." She sighed. "We'll see how much fun it really is."
My lips spread into yet one more involuntary smile. "Thanks."
After school, we all went to my house and up the stairs to my room.
"You haven't changed that much since last time," Saki said, standing in the center of my room and looking around.
"Well, I was going to have a pool put in over there." I pointed to spot next to the desk. "But the contractor hasn't gotten back to me yet."
"Smartass." She went over to the bookshelf and ran her fingers over the manga titles.
"I'll be right back." I set my bag down and went down to the kitchen to find something to drink.
When I returned with a bottle of tea and several glasses, Saki was sitting next to a blushing Hiromasa, flipping through one of those pamphlets you get in the front of video games.
"Come on, Hiromasa, pick one." She pointed to a page with scantily clad cowgirls on it. "This one or this one." She flipped the page from the pink haired one to the one with brown hair.
"Kaito, help me." He looked up with pleading eyes.
I sat down next to Saki, putting the bottle and glasses down in front of us. "He'd probably pick the pink haired one."
"That's not the kind of help I meant." Hiromasa hung his head.
"What about you?" she asked.
"I'm not really into pink hair, personally. I'd choose the brunette." I poured tea into one of the glasses and handed it to Saki. "How about you?"
"Hmm." She studied the pages. "I guess I'd go for the brunette too."
"Don't like pink hair either?" I passed another filled glass to Hiromasa.
"I don't give a crap about her hair," Saki said. "I just think the brunette has a better body."
Hiromasa choked on his tea and I started laughing.
"You're too easy." Saki laughed and hit Hiromasa in the shoulder. "How is this game, anyway?"
I shrugged. "It's alright, if you're into some mindless hack and slash. What do you feel like playing?"
"What do you recommend?" She stuck the pamphlet back in the case.
"I guess we can go down nostalgia route and see where we end up." I loaded up the same fighting game from three years ago and handed Saki a controller. "Remember how to play?"
She grinned. "I think I'll be alright."
She destroyed me in the first round, using way more combos and tricks than the two I taught her.
"Wow," I said. "You've been playing this, I guess?"
She shrugged. "A little."
"Well then, I won't go easy on you this time."
She laughed. "I'm trembling."
I managed to win the second round, barely. But in the end, she totally demolished me.
Hiromasa cracked up laughing. "It might have taken a few years, but revenge is so sweet."
"I wouldn't be laughing so hard. You get to play next." I tossed him the controller.
We spent the next few hours playing games with snacks, laughing the whole time. I think I had even more fun than I had three years ago.
Hiromasa went home in the evening, which meant I got a chance to talk to Saki alone.
"So, what do you want to do now?" she asked after he'd left.
"Actually, I want to ask you something." I said, leaning forward to stick the games back in the small shelf below the TV.
"Like what?" She lay back on the rug.
"You said before you thought love was a joke, right?" I glanced back at her.
She nodded. "Right."
"So then, hypothetically, what would you do if someone wanted to date you?"
I wasn't being very subtle. It was a lot like that, "Asking for a friend" line that everyone knew was bullshit, but that was alright. It didn't really matter to me if she figured it out. That was sort of my goal, after all. I was still going to dance around it a little bit though, because she didn't seem to take direct questions very well, but more so, because I handle rejection even worse.
She laughed. "What sort of freak would want to date me?"
Ouch.
"He would have to be a freak?" I leaned back on my hands.
She shut her eyes. "Obviously."
"Why?"
She shifted to the side, supporting herself with her elbow. "Because I'm a god damn train wreck."
I shook my head. "I don't think that's true."
She snorted. "You don't know me at all."
"I'd like to."
"You'd wet yourself."
I laughed. "I doubt it."
"I'm not joking." She pointed to her temple. "It's a horror show up here."
"What do you mean?" I asked, not convinced at all. "Give me an example."
"I steal, lie, vandalize, and break shit for fun."
I shrugged. "Yeah, I knew all that. I don't think that makes you a train wreck."
"That's just the tip of the iceberg. Most days, it's all I can do to keep from screaming my head off and stabbing people to death."
"Why's that?" I asked.
"What do you mean 'why'?"
"Well, most people don't wake up in the morning thinking about murdering people." I paused. "Unless, you're a serial killer, maybe."
"Who says I'm not?" She smiled.
I chuckled. "Have you killed anyone?"
"Not yet," she said.
"Then you're not a killer at all, let alone, a serial killer."
"Maybe you'll be my first victim." She grinned.
I titled my head back. "Hmm. I'd probably be a pretty good choice. I think the only one who would notice I'm gone is Hiromasa."
"Well, I wouldn't want Hiromasa to report me, so I guess I'll have to find a different target."
"You're pretty good at dodging questions, but I'm pretty persistent, and I've always been fairly patient, so you're going to have to try a little harder."
"I'm not dodging questions." She looked down and started picking at the rug.
"Oh, no? I've asked you two, and so far you've answered zero." I put my fingers in the shape of a circle.
She sighed. "I'd tell whoever asked me out that he was a freaking idiot for wasting his time. I'm not interested in that fairy tale crap."
That was fair. I wasn't really expecting a different answer, but I couldn't help but feel a little bit disappointed anyway.
"I see." I nodded. "Care to answer the other question?"
She shook her head. "Not really."
"Why?"
"Because it doesn't matter why I am the way I am. I will still be that way tomorrow. It won't change anything."
"It's not that I want you to change, but I think it kind of sucks you feel so angry all the time. Maybe I can help?"
"No one can help me," she mumbled.
"How do you know unless you try?"
"Why would you waste your time?"
"For starters, it's not a waste of time." I said. "I want to help you. I don't need a better reason than that. Why did you want to help me?"
"You should stop wondering why and asking so many god damn questions. Don't worry why I do crap or why I am the way I am. It just is." She was starting to sound irritated. It was time to back off.
I smiled. "That's fine. I'll wait."
She growled. "Your over confidence is really annoying." She punched me in the shoulder and stood up. "I'm going home." She walked out of the room, slamming my door behind her.
"I'll bring you something good for lunch tomorrow," I yelled after her.
"Piss off!" she shouted.
The front door opened and closed downstairs. I lay back on the rug and folded my arms behind my head.
This was going to take a little while, but that's alright. I wasn't joking when I said I was patient. I couldn't pry answers out of her. She would have to give them up willingly. If I was going to get anywhere at all, I was going to have to take it slow, but that was fine, because all I wanted to do was save her. I really believed I could do it too- from whatever it was that hurt her so badly. I wouldn't pretend to be some prince on a white horse from those fairy tales she hated so much. I'm not that arrogant. I could be a backwater peasant riding a donkey. That would suit me just fine as long as I could get the job done. I didn't need her to love me either. Just to make her happy was enough. Which brought me back to my question of the day; how do you start a relationship with someone who thought they were a waste of time? Simple answer: you don't.