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Youth Unsupervised
Chapter 27- Sugar Coated Poison

Chapter 27- Sugar Coated Poison

When I woke up in the morning, she was still lying in the bed beside me, which surprised me a little because I half expected her to pull her disappearing act again.

I finally understood why she'd said sleeping together was a bad idea. I'd assumed it was because she couldn't bring herself to be so exposed. That her stone skin wouldn't allow her to shed that many layers, but I was wrong. It had all been entirely for my benefit. I might have been able to pretend to be her friend until then, barely, but that would be impossible for me now. I was sure she knew how I felt about her. She probably knew from the beginning, but chose never to ask me about it. Why would she? She already knew the answer. Asking something like that would only force us into a conversation neither of us really wanted to have.

I managed to answer one of Hiromasa's billions of texts and missed calls. I assured him that Saki was fine, but didn't really give him any details. It wasn't my secret to tell.

The rest of the day was awkward to say the least, mostly because I wasn't really sure how to act around her anymore. I was behaving myself, but really, what was the point? I wouldn't last long without doing something stupid. Not anymore. Saki was her usual self, or at least she tried to be, but it was hard for her to do since I was totally off balance.

I cracked even sooner than I expected when she gave me that look again and I was too eager and stupid to refuse. It did occur to me that I was only making things worse for myself. I was the one who would suffer when all this came to an end, but I just couldn't bring myself to stop. How could I? It was all I wanted, to be closer to her, to touch her without holding back. For this, I would gladly continue to eat sugar coated poison until it killed me.

We both returned to school on Monday, but there was hardly a point to me being there at all. I couldn't focus. My mind wouldn't quiet itself. I still hadn't managed to find my footing in this new relationship development.

What were we now? Friends? Of course not. I hadn't thought of her as just a friend in a very long time, and I don't even think Saki could classify us strictly as friends anymore. Friends with benefits? Too crude. That might be all there was to it on Saki's end, but that label completely ignored my side of the spectrum. Lovers, then? Not quite that either. I loved Saki completely, but she didn't feel the same way about me. I was sure she was merely using physical acts to fill an emotional void in herself. A tactic I was all too familiar with. Was this how it felt for my past girlfriends to be in our one sided relationships? I was even more of an asshole than I thought.

Monday evening rolled around. It was almost seven, which meant the phone call I'd been dreading all day was going to happen any minute. Saki had decided to go take a shower, which meant I'd be speaking to my mother alone. I preferred it that way. I was stressed out enough as it was.

The phone rang and I picked it up off the bed. "Hi."

"Hello, Kaito," she said. "How was your day?"

"Fine," I said. "Listen, I need to tell you something."

"What is it?" I could tell by the sound of her voice she wasn't prepared for any deviations from our normal conversation.

"Saki is living here now," I said.

There was dead quiet on the other end, not that it surprised me. It's not like I had expected her to take it well.

"That is unacceptable, Kaito," she said finally. "You must tell her to leave immediately."

"No," I said.

"Kaito," she said in a warning tone.

"You can say she has to leave if you want," I said. "It's your house. But I'll go with her."

"Don't be a fool."

That was the most upset I could ever remember her sounding. I guess she wasn't a total robot after all.

"I'm sorry," I said. "You have no idea what it's like for her. I won't abandon her."

She went quiet again. Maybe she finally understood she had little to no control over the situation.

"Does she really have nowhere else to go?" she asked when she spoke again.

"No," I said. "Nowhere else."

"Hold on a moment," she said.

I got up and started to pace absentmindedly. I wondered what she was planning on doing. I wasn't bluffing when I said I'd go with Saki, but it wouldn't be easy. Unless you have parental consent, you have to be twenty to legally rent an apartment, which would lead me and Saki to unfavorable options. I wasn't sure what her plan was for after high school, but if push came to shove we might have to act on it sooner rather than later.

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"Kaito," my father said.

I nearly dropped the phone. Not once had he spoken to me over the phone while they were away.

"Yes?" I answered.

"You care about this girl?" he asked, his voice stern.

I nodded. "Yes, more than anything."

There was a long pause on the other end. "She can stay. Don't do anything stupid."

I was long past that.

He hung up. Short and sweet. I guess there really was nothing else to say and not much else they could do. It’s hard to inforce rules you aren’t there to inforce. Their only other option was to return home and deal with it in person, which would require parenting skills that they didn’t have.

I tossed the phone on the bed with a sigh. At least that was one big hurdle taken care of. How many more of them were left? I got the feeling I was going to finish this race dragging a few behind me. What was I going to do when her mom called? How would all this play out when the school found out she was living here? What was her plan for renting an apartment after high school?

Saki's finger jabbed against my cheek brought me back to reality.

"Can I help you with something?" I asked.

"Oh, good." She retracted her finger. "I was afraid you got lost in there."

"Huh?" I asked.

"In your mind," she said and tapped her head. "You tend to overthink stuff."

"Do I?" I stared at the ceiling like it would give me answers.

"See?" she said. "You're doing it now."

I chuckled. "Sorry."

She shook her head. "It's not a bad thing, but sometimes it distracts you from what you really want."

"Are you my life coach now?"

"Now?" She scoffed. "Please. I've been teaching you since day one."

I laughed. "I guess I can't really argue with that. So, coach, what do I do now? How do I fix it?"

"We'll start with a something really simple," she said. "Give me the first answer that pops into your head. No thinking. Ready?"

I took an exaggerated deep breath and limbered myself up. "Ready!"

She sighed and shook her head. "You're an idiot. Alright, here we go. No thinking. What do you want to do?" She snapped her fingers. "Go."

I smiled. "Too easy."

I pressed my lips against hers and pushed her backwards, pinning her against the wall. She made a sound that started off as surprise, but turned into something entirely different as she melted against me.

Who cares what we were? If she was using me to complete herself, fine. If that's what she needed, she could have every piece of me. And if I was fated to only call her mine for a short time, I was going to get my fill of her completely- to force my name from her lips every chance I got.

It didn't occur to me until later that evening, as we were sitting on the bed watching TV, that there was no reason I had to limit myself to sex. Where the hell was the line now? Did it even exist anymore?

I sat staring at her for a while, watching the changing colors of the television reflected on her face in the dark room. Deciding to test my luck, I reached my arm out and wrapped it around her, then, ever so slowly, pulled her towards me. I expected her to say some smartass comment like she usually did, but instead she leaned her head against me and nestled closer into my side. I felt like dancing.

A floodgate opened in my mind. I became a creature of impulse. If I wanted to hold her, I did it. If wanted to touch her hair, I did it. If I wanted to kiss her for no reason at all, I did it. I knew I shouldn't, but after denying myself for so long it felt so good to let go. It's not that I deluded myself into thinking this was something real. I knew all too well that when this came to an end it was going to feel like surviving a jump from several stories up, but it was too late. I'd already jumped, so I was sure as hell going to enjoy the fall.

Word got around pretty quickly that Saki was living with me. A bunch of rumors blossomed from that fact. We were married now. I'd gotten her pregnant. We'd both killed our parents and hid the bodies so we could be together.

That last one was my favorite.

Unsurprisingly, it didn't take very long for me and Saki to end up back in the principal's office with both him and our homeroom teacher glaring at us again.

"I'm sure you know why you've both been called here." The principal folded his hands on the desk in front of him. "I'll get straight to the point. Is it true the two of you are living together?"

"Yes," I said. "But that's the only true part about those rumors."

He sighed in disapproval and stood up with his hands behind his back. "I want you two to understand that living together is a serious decision for any couple, especially for people so young." He sighed again. "However, given Higoshi's situation and the positive influence Mr. Nagashima assures me you've had on Higoshi, I've decided not to press the matter. You are both close to graduating, but had this happened a year earlier, it might have been a different story. I hope you are both treating the situation with care and realize things like this shouldn't be taken lightly."

After that, we bowed and left. I think I caught a glimpse of a smile on the corner of Nagashima's mouth. Either way, he'd be getting one hell of a bouquet on graduation day. I assumed our parents would be contacted, but it didn't really matter since they already knew about the situation anyway.

I didn't care if they thought we were just playing house, or if everyone else in the world thought it was a bad idea. Even Hiromasa and Miyasoto had shown some concern. They were probably right to do so, but I just didn't care. I'd had the same smile on my face for three weeks and it wasn't showing any signs of going anywhere.

As we walked home I looked over at Saki and realized there was one thing I had yet to try. I took her hand and wove my fingers between hers. It seemed so ridiculous that this was the last step. That we'd started with living with together and worked our way back to where most relationships begin, holding hands. My heart started to hum and I laughed.

"What is so funny?" She tried to pull her hand away.

"As if I'd let you escape." I held on tightly. "I wasn't laughing at you. I swear."

She groaned and rolled her head back. "You're so clingy."

"In an adorable way, right?" I grinned.

She laughed and nodded. "Yeah, like a big, stupid dog."

She squeezed my hand tighter.