The silence after the sourceless voice was almost oppressive, but the after effects of the Calming Breath skill were pretty damn great. I felt like I had taken lorazepam. The panic was entirely gone and instead I felt that calm that allowed me to think straight.

To get through this, I had to make some decisions.

I could assume some crazy person had drugged and kidnapped me. Maybe this was some kind of rich guy's weird game. Like some Eyes Wide Shut stuff. Not that I had actually watched that movie since it was made way before I was born, but I knew the reference from memes. If this was that, then the goal was to escape and call the authorities. I'd listened to enough murder podcasts to stay sexy and not get murdered.

But, what about the Calming Breath skill. I was still standing in one place, I heard the voice tell me about the skill, and then I felt the after effects. Really good after effects.

Ignoring the fact I was probably dead already — or maybe accepting the fact that I was dead and this was some kind of afterlife. The words the old-timey radio guy — Monty? — had used had some meaning to me. He mentioned a dungeon. I knew all about dungeons from Realms of Ifaneli. I also knew all about dungeons from murder podcasts. I really hoped this was supposed to be more of the former rather than the latter.

I could also assume this was a hallucination. Or I was in a coma. Or I was dreaming and it was really realistic. Only I suddenly really had to pee and if it was a dream, I hoped it wasn't the one where I could never find a toilet.

Plus, the Star Trek voice had spoken twice. Once, a spell and another, a skill. It reminded me of the pop-ups when you randomly unlocked skills in Realms. Mind you, the pop-ups were the world exploring and profession skills and not the truly useful skills of your class. Those you unlocked with levelling and talent purchase through feat points.

But that was just how Realms did it. Every game was different. Typically it took me a month to learn a game's mechanics and to understand how it worked. Also to play not like a complete newb or blow useful skill points or whatever on pointless things. So you didn't have to respec later. Or start over with a new class.

I didn't have a month. I had a week-ish. I also had no idea if I could reroll if I chose wrong.

"I need a light." I said out loud in exasperation then tsked.

The globe of light popped into existence with the ffpppfddhist sound of before.

Level up! Cantrip Minor Globe of Light. Somatic and verbal components required. Duration of 20 seconds at this level of the spell.

I counted in my head and the light popped out of existence after 20 seconds.

So if I cast it again, it should last 40 seconds right?

"I need light." I said out loud.

Darkness.

"Hello? Light?"

Nothing. Just the darkness.

Annoyed, I tsked and the globe of light appeared. But this time, there was no alert that the spell had leveled up. The globe lasted 20 seconds again. Ahh. The tsking did it. That would be the verbal component.

"Okay Kaylee." I talked to myself. "We're going full in on this. No chaser. If this is a dungeon and that was a spell you leveled after 2 uses, but not 3. Then how many tsks," the globe of light burst into existence again, "does it take to level up again? Well, not 4, obviously. And what do you do to move the ball of light?" I waved my hand around and got my answer. The globe floated lazily in whatever direction I moved my hand as if I dragged a helium balloon attached by a string.

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As it moved, I got a view of where I was. It looked like a large stone walk-in closet similar in dimensions to my room. No, it was my room. A replica of my room. Except where the closet would be with its accordion doors, there was just a bar and a couple of empty wooden hangers. My desk was there. The chair and mouse too. That was about it for real items and I noticed that the bucket of cosplay weapons I had that leaned against the desk were gone. Weirdly, outside a ring around my desk, the things that would be my clothes, or shoes, or whatever were outright missing. Anything else tchotchke-like including my bookshelf full of YA urban fantasy novels was just carved right into the wall in stone.

No wonder my foot throbbed. The futon was entirely stone.

When I turned back to the window, I was glad for the chill pill the skill had given me because a humanoid shape was just there. A looming wooden mannequin with no facial features stood with its arms akimbo and legs straight. It was creepy AF. Even more creepy when the light popped off.

I tsked and recast the globe spell. That was going to get old real quick. Hopefully, it would level soon so I didn't have to remember to tsk every 20 seconds. Also one globe was not as useful as multiple.

When I thought that, the globe split itself into two and then three and then four.

Modification! Cantrip Minor Globes of Light. Somatic and verbal components required. Duration of 20 seconds at this level of the spell.

Alright. If I could modify a spell into a different version of itself, then clearly I needed to figure out how to turn this spell into a go the fuck home spell.

"Tsk teleport home!" The globes of light went on, but nothing else happened.

"Well. Shit."

"Kaylee? Is that you?"

"Suze? I've been yelling for ages."

"Where are you I -- Ow!" There was a thud, then a sickening sounding crunch and Suze -- who was typically the fearless person in the house who crushed the spiders and bugs for me -- let out the kind of girly scream that I had never heard from her in my life.

"Tsk! Tsk!"

The globes appeared and frantically I waved my arms about, moving them across the room like balloons being dragged slowly from here to there.

The door to my room was wood and it was exactly where it would be in the layout of the apartment. I leaped toward it and I slammed it open. "Suze. I don't know what you are doing, but this is--" I gargled, choking on the thing I was about to say.

In a stone replica of the hallway of our apartment, a giant spider the size of at least a dachshund -- maybe even a schnauzer -- had its hairy spidery, tarantula legs splayed wide and rather largish fangs dripping with lime green venom onto Suze's painter white overalls while it spun some kind of web from its back end and was wrapping the stuff around Suze's legs. Suze, herself, wasn't moving and seemed to be passed out.

I screamed a scream that I bet beat out Suze's prior one by a good couple decibels.

The spider, turned its scary as heck face toward the sound. Its giant multiple eyes whirled at me as it raised its furry front legs showing off paws with razor sharp claws at the tip. I hate spiders. I don't care that the internet thinks they're cute. Well internet, you'd be scared shitless too if a spider like this one ended up in front of you.

The globes of light disappeared.

I didn't think, I just reacted with the terror I felt. I tsked the lights back into existence, reached down, pulled off my slippers and pelted them at the spider. The fuzzy white bunnies bounced off, but beaned it in one of the bigger eyes. Then I raced back into my -- no, the stone -- room looking for something to squash a small dog-sized spider with.

The only thing there was my desk, chair, and the mannequin. I wrapped my arms around it and tugged. It barely moved. It was heavier than it looked since it looked to be solid wood anyway. I yanked at one arm. It popped out of the socket. I whirled around.

The spider's leg curled around the doorway as it crawled into the room, a menace at the doorway. I swung the arm. It bent at the ball joint in the elbow and seemed to whirl a bit. I flailed it at the spider frantically. Despite my lack of finesse and skill, the wood fist hit the spider in the head. And then in an arm. And then over and over as I screamed and smashed it with the arm.

"DIE! DIE! DIE! DIEEEE!"

The spider's insides were just as gross as the outsides. Splattering bug guts covered the wooden arm, the floor, the doorway, walls, and me. All over me. I could feel the goo of flesh on my face, over my arms, and down my neck. I only stopped screaming when a bit of bug got into my mouth. I spit it out and it made me angrier so I smashed harder and harder.

You have killed Baby Giant Spider.

I asked incredulously at the corpse, "Baby?"

My lights disappeared.

Could that have only been 20 seconds?

"Okay. That's really annoying. How many tsks does it take to get to a freaking upgrade around here?"

The light globes popped into existence as if to mock me.